It’s finally the finale of the finale BBs!!! ABC kept me hostage for what felt like 3 years watching this today!!! Let’s dive in!
We open back with Gabby and Erich talking. Remember he JUST said he wants to date her. But they leave it on good terms.
Rachel goes to Tino’s room and tells him he’s the only one here. UGH. He looks like a mob kid.
ABC is broadcasting this live from LA so they cut to G & R. Gabby is wearing a tiny TINY dress! And Rachel looks shell shocked! That girl has SEEN things!
Back to Mexico, where R is in the proposal spot looking beautiful. Tino comes out and proposes and they ride off (awkwardly) on a horse!
The whole time R is watching the playback and she does NOT look happy. Neither does her father, Big Tony. Rachel tells us that Tino cheated on her! Say WHAT NOW??? He couldn’t keep it in his pants for 3-4 months until After The Final Rose??? Men are GARBAGE. NOT ONLY did he cheat on her… he had the audacity to ask her to not tell anyone about his cheating so they could fake it through ATFR!!! I mean!!!
Jesse then says they have footage of R confronting T about the cheating and we might need some wine to watch it, that it’s hard to watch!!! Why?? Is there waterboarding involved?? Tino comes over to this little house where R is and he’s brought with him a notebook. What’s in the book T? Your hopes and dreams?? T says “the moment I kissed another girl I knew I belonged with you.” VOMIT. He also keeps saying that it was a “tiny” thing. TINY? Cheating is tiny??? Lawd help me!!! Oh, and he keeps referencing his notebook where he’d transcribed conversations between himself and Rachel!!! UNREAL!!! Plus, he keeps walking off out of the house and covering his mic, complaining to producers that he is looking bad. He comes back in and R says she is done and hands him the ring. He leaves.
In LA Tino comes on stage. He and R continue to talk in circles, but he does apologize. Then….Aven comes out!!! He asks Rachel if he could take her somewhere so they can catch up and she says yes! SWOON!!!!
Back in Mexico, Gabby is waiting with her boobs mostly out in a mesh top dress for Erich. He comes and proposes! I really hope things work out for them! I’m shocked he proposed after just wanting to date, but good luck you crazy kids!
In LA, Gabby and Erich come on stage and discuss the texts that E’s ex released (WHY are people keeping all this “evidence”???). E is accused of only wanting to go on the show to further his career. NO MENTION of his blackface yearbook photo. I love G & E but I’m disappointed in you ABC. You gotta ask the hard questions!!!
The last 45 minutes of this hellscape is the announcement of the new Bachelor! It’s Zach! The physical embodiment of khaki pants!!! YAWN. I’m already bored. They bring on 5 women to meet Zach and let America choose by tweet who he should give the first impression rose to. The women are 3 blonde ladies who could be triplets, a dark haired girl, and a black girl. LOADS of diversity ABC. The black girl, Brianna, wins the first impression rose and she deserves it, she is super cute with her introduction.
And that is it BBs!!! Until next time when I see you in Paradise!!! xo 🌹