Week 8!!! I thought it was going to be Hometowns (which in Covid land is just the conference room at the resort)! But instead we get Men Tell All. BUT! Before we get to that ABC has to rip our hearts out. Michael is on a FaceTime call with his 4 year old son James when James says “Daddy left because he doesn’t want to see me!” OH MY HEART!!! Poor Michael looks gut punched and almost immediately heads to Katie’s room to chat.
In Katie’s room Michael tells K what happened with James and that he needs to go home. Now, I think Michael is an amazing dad and a great guy but what harm would come to James if Michael stays with K another week or two really? He’s only 4. He’s not going to remember. Just my 2 cents.
Katie seems to take Michael’s leaving HARD. She’s crying all her mascara off and saying she’s pissed and hurt. Are you though? As much as I think Michael is fabulous and would treat any woman like a QUEEN, I just don’t see a spark with the two of them.
Then it’s time for Men Tell All. Michael is there so that explains why ABC showed us his departure. The guys INSTANTLY start arguing about who was there for the right reasons and Karl gets all up in Brendan’s face and it’s the most I’ve heard Brendan speak all season! BTW, where’s Thomas???
Kaitlyn and her lip fillers and Tayshia bring Connor Cat Man up to the hot seat to discuss his “trash kissing”. Poor Connor even says when he got home he texted ex girlfriends to ask if he was a trash kisser. Poor guy! Then! Out of nowhere a girl from the audience stands up and declares she wants to find out if Connor really IS a bad kisser!!! She comes down to the stage and doesn’t even say a word- just lays one on Connor! They kiss multiple times and stranger lady says Connor is an 11 out of 10! Way to get redemption Cat Man!!!
Katie comes out and accidentally calls Aaron by Thomas’ name! Then lo and behold Thomas is there. But not really. He shows up via Zoom. Lame.
Connor sings a song about bromance and that’s basically it! Fairly non-eventful. But I do have to say that this is a good bunch of guys. I wonder who will make it to Paradise???
There are 7 guys left. Kaitlyn and Tayshia start out the show chatting with Katie. Kaitlyn is wearing a belted throw rug as a dress. I swear the stylist on this show is a crackhead. Also, some tea I learned…Blake and Brendan knew each other pre-show!!! WHY does this not come out on the show?? And Blake encouraged Brendan to apply to the show. So why didn’t Blake apply at the same time?? Why wait and come on halfway through?? Boggles the mind!!
It’s a HUGE deal that Greg gets a 1-1 this week as these are the last 2 1-1 dates. AND Greg’s already had a 1-1 but Brendan and Mike P the virgin haven’t. Greg and Katie are wearing matching outfits again! Her’s is a horrendous green tshirt that does NOTHING for her. Hear me now- I predict she picks Greg. I’ll be SHOCKED if she doesn’t! Anyway, they go to an area of the resort that’s set up to mimic Seattle, where K is from. They throw fish and play football.
Greg tells K he’s falling in love with her. He gets the rose (so he’s definitely going to hometowns) and then they run out into the faux Seattle rain to make out.
Back at the house, Michael A is FaceTiming his son and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!!!
The date card is announced for the Group Date and Brendan is STRUGGLING because his name is on it so he doesn’t get the last 1-1, Mike P the virgin does. So Brendan goes to K’s room. As he’s knocking on her door he applies chapstick! I love it so much!!! He goes in and they chat. Katie says she can’t get there with him in time and sends him home.
The guys and Katie go to an “art exhibit” filled with paintings of blooming flowers and dripping fruit and it’s all supposed to be v erotic. Keep in mind the guys may or may not be still withholding from self love from last week’s WOWO challenge. So the guys are tasked to create art pieces with Katie as their muse. OF COURSE Blake’s is completely blacked out because his classless ass can’t be trusted!!! I can not stand that man.
Blake tells Katie “I’m not in love with you”.
Michael A tells Katie “No one will love you like I can”
Andrew recreates their 1-1 and tells K he’s falling for her. SO sweet!!!
Michael A gets the group date rose.
Mike P 1-1
They walk out to the woods and are joined by a CUDDLE EXPERT. Why is ABC so intent on torturing this poor virgin??? During this cuddle date Mike P compares Katie to his mother. Multiple times. Yikes. Creepy. Before they can even get to Fake Dinner, K walks up to Mike in the woods and she’s crying. Yep, you guessed it, she sends him home. Mike takes it SO graciously! He’s a good guy, you can tell. Just a WEEEEE bit too close to his mom!!!
Blake gets the first rose. GAG. I swear on all that’s good and holy if they make Blake the next Bachelor I will NOT watch!!!
It’s down to Justin (who’s facial expressions crack me up weekly!!!) and Andrew. K gives Justin the last rose!!! NOOOOOOOO! Katie you cotton picking FOOL!!!! Blake over Andrew???? I could slap her face!!!
The next morning Andrew stops by K’s room for a cheerier goodbye. He leaves her with a note. “If you change your mind, I’ll be waiting.” SWOON!!!! So Katie runs after Andrew in her bare feet (on hotel carpet- gross!) and jumps on him in the lobby. Now I’m crying! She asks if he wants to say and he says NO!!! Can you blame him? He says he doesn’t want to delay the inevitable and be right back here in a week or two and he wants her to CHOOSE him. I choose you Andrew!!!! She walks him out and have one last kiss. He’s still single as far as I know, if you want to slide into his DMs!!!
And that’s it until Hometowns next week Bbs!!! Until then!!! xo 🌹
Week 6 BBs! This episode starts with a visit from, wait, could it be?? The hosts??? You mean we’ll actually see them for more than 5 seconds this week??? Tayshia and Kaitlyn stop by Katie’s suite to chat. During that chat Katie decides she wants to challenge the guys to a Seinfeld-esque challenge to withhold self love.
Kaitlyn gleefully runs to tell the guys and you’d think ABC had killed their parents the way they reacted!!! All except Mike P the virgin. HOW that man has gone his whole life without taking care of business on his own is beyond me! I’m truly concerned for him!
Katie takes Justin out to the woods where they are going to have the classic Wedding Photo Shoot date. Ugh. WHY do they do this?!? I mean, I know kids play wedding all the time, but to force grown ups to write their own vows and speak them while dressed in wedding attire?? You’d think that would spark some sort of bad wedding juju!
Katie talks about how the wedding date makes her miss her father even more. He passed away, and as it turns out, wasn’t her biological father! Family secrets! Justin just kind of sits there listening and manages to score the rose.
This group date has 10 guys on it. Such a big crowd! The guys and Katie walk into a room and 2 beautiful drag queens come out. Monet and Shea (correct me if I’m wrong) tell the guys they are going to have a big Royal Debate where the guys have to probe why they are worthy of Katie’s heart and the others are not (roast style). The guys are throwing softballs until finally one of them accuses Hunter of having a top 4 list of contenders (he’s #1 of course). Hunter vehemently denies this, of course. Does he not realize he’s on tv? Dude, you were filmed talking about your top 4 just yesterday! Guys can be dumb!
When it’s Blake’s turn to have some 1-1 time with Katie, all it seems he talks about is masturbation!!! SO GROSS. James is sporting another turtle neck. He tells K about his concerns regarding Hunter. Then Tre does the same, and Aaron too. K talks to Hunter who denies everything. After K speaks to Hunter she calls an end to the night, leaving quite a few guys with no time with her.
Connor Cat Man 1-1
They have a double date with Kaitlyn and Jason. Katie is wearing cut off denim shorts, a bathing suit top, and my grandma’s cardigan (which looks a lot like a blazer at first glance). WHO IS HER STYLIST??? I have questions!!! Katie is feeling a bit friend zoney with Cat Man and really wants to kiss him some more to see if there’s a spark. They kiss at the end of their day portion of the date.
Night/ Fake Dinner
Connor is getting ready in his suite when Katie arrives in a hoodie and tears. Before K can even speak she’s crying and he says ” It’s ok. I know where this is going.” and my heart just breaks! She tells Cat Man that when they kiss there’s just something missing. I’d feel even more sorry for Connor than I do but I’m distracted yet again by his multiple necklaces and shirt that’s open past his nips. I don’t understand his obsession with this look. K breaks the news to him that he’s going home.
Instead of a PA grabbing his suitcase for him like they normally do, Cat Man goes back to the group of guys and says goodbye. By the time he’s given everyone hugs it seems that EVERYONE is in tears over his exit.
Cut to Katie crying in her room. She hears something and opens her window and there’s Blake standing there under her balcony holding up a boombox type thing blasting Memorize You (the song they danced to on their date) a la Say Anything. It’s a romantic gesture for sure. Katie invites him up and they make out.
Side note, some people on the interwebs discovered that Blake looks just like the lion from the Madagascar movie and I can’t unsee it!!! Something about his teeth and droopy dog cheeks and beard. I don’t know, I still don’t trust him!
The next night is the cocktail party and Rose Ceremony. Mike P is looking like a priest tonight with his mock turtleneck and giant Jesus necklace. Katie comes in and declares she knows what she wants to do so she cancels the cocktail party and they head straight to the Rose Ceremony. There are only 6 roses on the table. K picks up the first rose and calls Hunter’s name and I yell NOOOOOO at my tv! But wait! She takes Hunter the troll outside to chat for a minute. They walk back in and he gets back in line, sans rose. Blake (ugh), Andrew, Suspender wearing Greg, Michael A, Mike P, and Brendan get roses. Aaron, James the box guy, Tre and his leopard print suit jacket, and Hunter (YAY!!!!) all get sent home.
Who are your favorites? We’re getting close to Home Towns! I’m so scared she’s going to pick Blake!!!
Hey there BBs! It’s Week 5 of Katie’s journey to find love on national television. Let’s dive in!!! Tayshia addresses the group of guys and informs them that “a man” is joining the house. The guys are LESS THAN PLEASED, obvs. Blake then saunters in to total and complete silence! Bahahaha! I can’t stand Blake. Then, as if the guys aren’t pissed enough at Blake and the situation, Blake gets the 1-1 date card. Yikes. Watch yer back there Blake!
They go horseback riding and have a romantic desert picnic. When it’s time to ride the horses Blake, who’s “job” is listed as Wildlife Advocate mind you, actually says “how do you make it go?”. DUDE. Who doesn’t know how to make it go??? I’m the most indoorsy person ever and I know how to make it go!!! Ugh.
At Fake Dinner Blake asks Katie how did she become so sex positive and she shares her sexual assault story with him. To his credit he handles it well. Blake gets the rose.
The next day is a group date with literally every man in the house save Blake and Andrew S. As per usual with ABC, there just must be at least one group date where the guys are forced to try and kill each other on tv, “for Katie’s heart”. This time they are playing a rugby/basketball hybrid. The only high point is that Franco and Wells arrive in v v short shorts, to help train the guys in the game and offer commentary. Everything is pretty tame until Hunter decides to take out Mike P in a tackle that I would not have recovered from. Hunter is foaming at the mouth and has blood lust written all over him! Once Mike P takes that hit, it’s ON. The guys go wild tackling each other HARD. Poor Michael A gets taken down by Justin and he doesn’t get up. Justin feels horrible and Michael basically just got the wind knocked out of him. I felt so bad for Michael A! Katie calls the game after this and declares them all winners so everyone gets to go to the after party.
Cat Man Connor with his 2 necklaces and his shirt open to his navel- I cannot. Meanwhile Michael A is sharing that yesterday was his deceased wife’s birthday and my heart breaks for him again. All the guys are in tears listening to him tell his story- except Hunter who’s all “Today was fun! Grrrr!!!” UGH please leave! SOMEHOW, Hunter gets the group date rose!!! Gross.
Andrew S 1-1
This date is all at night. They hike through the woods with lanterns to a an area where there are tons of fairy lights and envelopes hanging from some trees. The envelopes contain questions they have to answer. It’s kind of sweet but kind of a lame date. Andrew and Katie do seem to have chemistry and have fun together though.
At dinner Andrew broaches the subject of race and tells a heartbreaking story about how his ex was hesitant to have children with him because she didn’t want “mixed kids”. Ugh. Andrew S may have started his time on this show with a fake accent but I’ve really grown to like him! And that story made me so angry and sad for him. But at least now his ex is in the past! He gets the rose.
Hunter, who already has a rose, sets up this elaborate vignette for Katie and monopolizes her time. This sets the other guys OFF because so many of them haven’t had any time with her. So James, who totally looks like a mob boss tonight- with his black turtleneck, black suit, slicked back hair and big silver chain around his neck, interrupts Hunter and K and Hunter gets SO angry!!! Dude, chill! You already have a rose! He’s ranting about how he WILL get his time, and he ends up getting into an argument with the guys over it.
Tayshia and Kaitlin show up at the tail end of the cocktail party to lead Katie away and I’m thinking WHERE have you ladies been??? They are the most useless hosts!
Non-eventful. Going home- Quartney, Andrew M, and some guy named Josh who I just can not place. Has he even been on this show??? 😂
After the Rose Ceremony, Aaron is giving a toast when Hunter interrupts him and gives his own toast. We all know what that means! Next week is going to be all about Aaron vs Hunter!!!
And that is it for this week BBs!!! See you next time!!! xo 🌹
Welcome to Week 4 BBs, or as I like to call it, when the townspeople form a mob to kill the Beast! Um, I mean, send Thomas home. We are still beating a dead horse this week with all the guys in the house focusing on nothing but getting Thomas sent home. Thomas, of the vacant stare, just can’t help himself. He admitted to Katie he was excited to get more Insta followers and told the guys he’s been thinking about being the next Bachelor! Bless.
This group date is titled Katie’s Truth or Dare. The day portion is just the guys running around doing “daring” things like eating a bunch of twinkies (???), waxing each other, and eating jabanero peppers then fake proposing to Katie. I don’t understand dates like this. There’s precious little interaction between K & the guys!
Katie is wearing a sequined tweed suit dress and either her stylist is v drunk or maybe I’m just confused about fashion. Thomas isn’t on this date but he might as well be, as much as the guys are all talking about him! We get it, you don’t like him, send him home. But people- focus on your girl!!!
Tre decides to tell K about Thomas’ true intentions and that gets him the group date rose and the ire of Andrew S.
The next day Tayshia visits K and tells her there’s a new guy here from Tay’s past who wants to date Katie. But won’t tell K who it is. K goes to meet the guy and it’s Blake. UGH. If K lets Blake stay she will be the 3rd, yes, THIRD, Bachelorette he’s dated in 6 months. Even with that giant red flag, K seems to really be dazzled by Blake. K tells Blake she’ll need to think about it.
Pre Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party
The guys all arrive to the party and Thomas is missing. So is Katie. Turns out Thomas decides to visit K in her room pre-party. He sits her down and spews a bunch of balogna.
Thomas joins the party, then K arrives and we find out it’s midnight. Your sleep schedule must get really mucked up when you’re on one of these shows!!! K APOLOGIZES to Thomas about him being ostracized in the house!!! The 1-1 chats start and all the guys want to talk about is Thomas AGAIN. Except Michael A and Andrew S.
Before the ceremony can start, Thomas steps forward and apologizes to Katie and then the guys. Things are going along as per usual at the RC until the last rose. K picks it up and calls Thomas’ name. Everyone’s jaws hit the floor. Thomas walks up to K, all confident that he’s here for at least another week. K PHYSICALLY RECOILS and takes a step back. K says so him “What I learned tonight is that you’re selfish, unkind, and a liar.” She tells him to get out and for a brief second it looks like he might say something, but he thinks better of it and leaves. David and Christian (NOoooo!!!! I like him!!!) also get sent home. HOW she’s keeping Hunter over these other guys is beyond me!
After the RC, Katie takes the last rose and goes to Blake’s room. He answers the door in his printed underwear, then takes a moment to put on a hoodie (but not a robe or something??). K invites Blake to stay (against my better judgement and screams). K walks away and Blake finds he’s locked out of his room in his undies! Ha!
Well my BBs, it is only week 3 and we already have a certified villain in the house! We pick back up with ALL the guys being angry at Karl who just won’t back down! And he doesn’t have a leg to stand on! Last week Karl told Katie (at the pre rose ceremony cocktail party) that there are MULTIPLE men in the house there for the wrong reasons. Did he have names? Nope. Proof? Nada. It upsets Katie so much that she cancels the rest of the Cocktail Party and goes to have a cry. Greg goes to comfort her, earning even more points.
Virgin Mike gets his rose and then tells Katie that the entire house agrees that Karl is lying. So Katie stops the ceremony to go seek counsel with Tayshia and Kaitlyn. They are useless! They basically just say “it’s your decision.” GEE THANKS. BTW, Katie looks like she’s wrapped in shiny Grinch wrapping paper in this green lame’ dress. I hate it so much!
The Rose Ceremony resumes. At one point the camera lands on a guy in the back row and I swear to you this is the first I’m seeing this dude. Is he even a contestant? Could be a resort worker who wandered into the wrong room! Turns out it’s Andrew M. Who???
Aaron gets the final rose and Karl and John (I think??) get sent home. Karl doesn’t even LOOK at Katie, much less hug her goodbye! What a Klass act!
The next day the guys walk into this dark room filled with a circle of chairs, Katie, and Nick Viall. The guys take their seats and Nick discusses the importance of honesty. Basically telling them if they have anything Katie needs to know, lay it on the line right now. Hunter starts by talking about his divorce. Cat Man Conner (wearing a V DEEP V-neck) admits he used to drink heavily and that led to him cheating on his girlfriend. All the guys pour their hearts out. Then Thomas says his big confession is that he didn’t come here for Katie, but rather to build a platform!!! And he went on a date just a couple weeks ago! Noooo Thomas!!! You were a favorite of mine! Boo!!! Hiss!!!
After all the guys have a go, Katie confesses something she’s never even told her mom. 10 years ago she was involved in a “situation where there wasn’t consent”. And that afterward she was in such denial that she tried to date her attacker. I think it’s so important that ABC airs conversations like this. My heart just broke for Katie. She’s so relatable and real to me.
Cat Man Conner is wearing yet another shirt opened to practically his navel. AND a layered necklace. Odd. Thomas tells Katie during their 1-1 time that he did not choose her. Then later comes back to interrupt Aaron’s time with Katie to tell Katie he’s falling in love with her. Thomas then tells Aaron his time with Katie is more important than Aaron’s. (!!! The nerve!!!) Thomas tells the guys he told Katie he was falling in love with her but later backtracks and says he never said that. Thomas apparently forgot how tv works. We know EXACTLY what you said dude.
Cat Man Conner gets the rose. Purrrfect. Ha!
Michael A’s 1-1
Michael and Katie go off roading in a dune buggy that she flipped over just before the date! Then they picnic and chat. That night over Fake Dinner, Michael tells Katie all about his wife and son and how his wife died of breast cancer 2 years ago. He talks about it in such a way that it doesn’t feel forced or rushed. Poor guy. And Katie tells him she really respects the love he had for his wife. He gets the rose and they make out but I don’t see any real sparks. He’s SUCH a good guy though, you can tell.
Group Date 2
It’s the time before the date when all the guys are gathered in a common room. Hunter (who reminds me of something vaguely hobbit esque, but I can’t put my finger on it) straight up asks Thomas if Thomas has been thinking he could be the next Bachelor. Thomas gives a couple non-answers but Hunter presses the issue and Thomas finally says YES!!!
Did Thomas just dig his own grave? Will Katie see through his charming ways?? I guess we’ll find out next week! Until then my Bbs! xo 🌹
Welcome to my recap of Week 2 of the Bachelorette my BBs!!! We start out with Karl running his mouth to the tune of “this is a game/competition and I’m gonna win all the roses”. WHO pays this man to speak for a living???
The guys are all wearing SUPER tight pants this season. Is that in style now?? And here we go with the sex positive thing again! The guys are all led into a dark room with a red bra on the floor. They are told they are there to compete to see who is the World’s Greatest Lover! Mike the Virgin is shaking in his boots!!! He’s literally sweating and near tears as the guys are quizzed on their sexual knowledge by comedian Heather McDonald. The remaining guys who aren’t on the date make up the live audience for this date. Connor B sings a funny song, Karl talks and talks and talks (natch), but Virgin Mike wins by just pouring his little heart out to Katie in a loose poem. Even though Mike wins the contest, Thomas wins the group date rose and I have to believe it has something to do with all that tongue Thomas slipped Katie at the after party!
Katie drives up in a vintage red pickup truck to pick Greg up for their date and it turns out they are wearing matching outfits. They go on a camping/fishing date where Katie talks about her dad and how he took her fishing all the time. Her dad passed away in 2012. That night at Fake Dinner, Greg reveals that he lost his dad just 2 years ago, suddenly, from cancer. Normally it seems to fake when they get to Fake Dinner and instantly vomit out their past traumas to each other, but in this case it just feels natural. Greg and Katie seem really comfortable with each other right off the bat and it’s v cute.
Group Date #2
Tayshia and Kaitlyn wake all the guys up by banging on pots and pans and drag them out to a barn where the guys have to change into Cowboy clothes. Turns out they have to mud wrestle for Katie’s affections. I don’t understand these dates. She doesn’t get to talk to any of the guys! All of the matches are fairly friendly until it’s time for Aaron and Cody to wrestle. Aaron tells us that he knows Cody from outside the Bachelor bubble and that Cody is, say it with me, not here for the right reasons! Their match is INTENSE to say the least and I’m shocked a medic wasn’t called. Aaron wins the match and gets extra time with Katie. Katie asked Aaron what’s up with him and Cody and Aaron says Cody is here to be famous.
Katie asks to speak to Cody right off. She conveys her concerns and he stutters through a denial with zero emotion on his face. Then Cody pulls Aaron aside to chat and says “No one would know we know each other if you’d just keep your mouth shut” and that’s when Cody instantly turns into a serial killer in training. Katie then sends Cody home and again, no emotion from Cody. AT ALL. Serial killer.
Katie then takes a moment to herself. Andrew S comes to find her and they chat. They find out they have a lot in common due to their upbringings. Hunter creeps me out. No real reason why, just a vibe. Andrew S gets the group date rose.
Karl starts the party off by saying there are more men there for the wrong reasons. Then, even though he has no basis for this claim, he tells Katie there are multiple men there with bad intentions. He refuses to give examples or name names though. NOT V HELPFUL KARL!!!
Katie is understandably shaken by this news so she addresses the group and tells them to GTFO if they aren’t there for her. Katie then pulls Aaron aside for answers but he doesn’t have any because Karl made it all up! Karl admits to the guys it was he that got Katie all upset and the guys are PISSED at Karl!
Sidebar- who is Katie’s stylist??? I mean! She’s admittedly dressing better than she did on the Bachelor but this green lame’ dress she’s wearing for the cocktail party is hideous and a lot of her outfits this episode are definitely…a choice.
And that’s it for this week! We have to wait until next week for the rose ceremony. Until then! xo 🌹
Hello my BBs!!! I am back with you to review Katie’s season of the Bachelorette!!! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
This season is set in a gorgeous resort in New Mexico. Tayshia & Kaitlyn are the new co-hosts. Tayshia is stunning as per usual, and Kaitlyn I barely recognize from all the facial fillers and work she’s had done! I mean. I don’t know how I feel about them as hosts yet. So we have the usual montage of a few of the guys and then we move on to the limo entrances.
ABC has dressed up “sex positive” Katie in whore red for the evening, but the dress IS gorgeous and Katie looks amazing. I swear though, they are acting like Katie is the first woman from this franchise who’s had sex! And she didn’t even make it to Fantasy Suites yet! She just happened to bring a vibrator with her on Matt’s season. Give it a rest ABC! I mean, Kaitlyn actually DID have sex pre-Fantasy Suites on her season, lest we forget!
T&K watch from a window while the guys roll up. Speaking of the guys, we have:
Thomas, 28, Real Estate Broker. So tall, so cute. By the end of the episode I’ve already begun crushing on him!
Aaron, 26, Insurance Agent. Cute.
Andrew M, 31, Deputy District Attorney
David, 27, Technical Product Specialist. Cute but the man is wearing MANPRIS!!! I do not approve of this fashion choice! Also, he’s a weird hugger. Came in from the side like he was gonna get cooties if he got too close.
Michael, 36, Business Owner. I need more info. What kind of business?
Tre, 26, Software Engineer. Arrives in the bed of a pick up truck that he’d turned into a ball pit!
Greg, 27, Marketing Sales Rep. Cute, v v shy seeming.
Gabriel, 35, Entrepreneur from Charlotte! Represent!!! Gives a really weird hug but he’s interesting looking.
John, 27, Bartender. Great smile.
Garrett, 29, Software Marketing Manager
Austin, 25, Real Estate Investor.
Marty, 25, Dancer
Landon, 25, Basketball Coach
Karl, 34, Motivational Speaker
Josh, 25, IT Consultant
I have to interject here. WHY OH WHY are so many of these men not wearing socks with their suits???? And why are they wearing ugly brown shoes with their navy suits??? Wear black shoes my men! And black socks! Honestly.
Andrew S, 26, Pro Football Player. Lives in Austria. Comes out with a BAD British accent he tries to get by Katie but she isn’t buying it. Also, wearing ridiculously tight pants.
Brandon, 26, Auto Parts Manager. Drives up on a moped.
Conor C, 28, Former Baseball Player.
Kyle, 26, Technical Recruiter. The man reaches down into his pants and pulls out a pair of undies. Are these the undies he’s been wearing all day? Unclear. Either way: GROSS.
Hunter, 34, Software Strategist. Not digging this guy. Don’t know why yet.
Jeff, 31, Surgical Skin Salesman. EW. Drives up in an old Breaking Bad looking RV. Later in the night he takes Katie into the RV and starts monching on some celery. Not creepy AT ALL.
James, 30, Software Salesman. Gets pushed up to the entrance in a giant box. DOES NOT get out of said box to meet Katie. Not at the beginning, not during the toast when she greets all the guys, not during the main part of the cocktail party. The man committed to this gimmick, my friends.
Brendan, 26, Firefighter Trainee. SO good looking. Plus, I mean, come on. He’s a firefighter. Swoon.
Marcus, 30, Real Estate Broker
Mike, 31, Gym Owner. Virgin. Wears a GIANT silver crucifix around his neck. Okayyyy.
Cody, 27, Zipper Sales Manager. Cute but brings a blow up sex doll to present to Katie and I’m just so over all the sex puns by now. Gross.
Justin, 26, Investment Sales Consultant.
Christian, 26, Real Estate Agent
Quartney, 26, Nutrition Entrepreneur. Again with all the sexual innuendo. And I am mad at your mama for naming you that.
Conner B, 29, Math Teacher. Ok, this may be the most disturbing, bleach your eyes entrance ever. The man shows up in a full on furry cat suit costume complete with furry paws on his hands!!! He licks his paws to groom his hair. He has black makeup on his face to give himself a kitty nose and whiskers. He’s making a TON of cat jokes and I just want it to stop!!! BUT- and this is the most shocking part- Katie digs him!!! She’s into it!!! And that, BBs, is why they said there is a pot to every lid.
All in all it’s a fairly tame, good diverse crowd. They mostly seem like regular guys actually here to meet a woman, not to grow their Insta followers.
So the cocktail party commences and Katie speaks to the guys one on one. One guy has a pocket full of stones/crystals and tons of jewelry. Justin presents a painting of some roses to Katie that is actually v v good. He’s really talented!
Then all of the sudden the cameras cut to 2 of the guys (Cody and some other one) arguing outside. I don’t like you. I don’t like you either. They’ve known each other less than 6 hours! What’s not to like??
Finally, toward the end of the cocktail party, they wheel Box Guy into a room and he pops out in a 3 piece suit with v slick hair. He’s good looking and has a North Eastern sounding accent. I’m impressed he isn’t a wrinkled mess after being in a box all night!!!
Cat Man and Katie are chatting and they start full on making out and he’s getting black paint ALL over her face!!! Plus he’s still in that costume and it’s creeping me out!!!
Greg gets the first impression rose and a kiss.
Just as the sun is coming up they have the Rose Ceremony.
Going home: Austin, Jeff the skin selling, celery monching, RV guy (dodged a bullet there, Katie!), Brandon, Gabriel, Landon, Marcus, and Marty.
This season looks good! I wasn’t so sure I’d be thrilled by Katie and this season but it has a lot of promise and I’m sure will be….. say it with me…..the most dramatic yet!!!
Wow my BBs, we have a LOT to talk about! Namely, I just finished watching the finale and After the Final Rose and I have SOME THOUGHTS. Let’s dive in!
Matt’s mom Patty and brother John arrive to meet the girls and counsel Matt. I still stand by my initial assessment that Patty is really Celine Dion’s fraternal twin, but I digress. Michelle meets the fam first and it goes swimmingly. Everyone loves Michelle and why wouldn’t you? She’s poised, articulate, mature, and most importantly, willing to overlook Matt’s obsession with turtlenecks! Patty bursts into tears almost immediately!
Rachael meets the family next and Patty says “She’s….cute.” Yeah, it did not go as well as Michelle’s visit. When John asks Rach how many serious boyfriends she’s had she includes high school in her answer. RED FLAG! She’s far too young and immature for an engagement!!! Even though, when speaking to Patty, Rachael actually says “As I’ve gotten older…” what?!? You’re 24 years old missy!
Matt comes back to confer with his family and he’s giddy over his final two. Mom says “love is not the be all end all” and both Mom and John encourage Matt not to rush into anything. Clearly they have never seen this show either. The entire point is to rush a relationship straight into an engagement!!!
Next, Matt sits down with Chris Harrison and explains his fears and that he might not be ready and that his Mom really rocked him to his core and CH is all “Mom’s a bummer”. I paraphrase.
The next day is Matt’s final date with Michelle. They rappel down the side of a building then sit on a tarmac of some sort to chat. Odd. That night they are chatting in Michelle’s suite when Michelle says she has a gift for Matt. She says Matt’s her teammate and gives him a custom jersey with Mr. James on it. She has a matching one with Mrs. James. You can see the panic on his face as he’s holding up the jersey. Matt tells Michelle he has doubts and he can’t “get there” with her. Michelle cries and Matt leaves crying. You should be crying Matt! You’re an idiot!
Matt sits back down with CH and tells him he needs time.
The next day Matt is supposed to have a date with Rachael but sends CH to cancel it for him. Matt’s still saying he doesn’t know if he’s ready over and over yet he still sits down with Neil Lane and picks out an engagement ring! The next day Matt sends Rach a note- Meet me by the lake for some answers. Matt finally forgoes the turtleneck and puts on a suit. He speaks with CH first and says he loves Rachael, but is love enough??
Matt goes to wait for Rach in a gazebo. Rachael arrives wearing a bedazzled green sequined dress. She walks up to Matt and gives a speech about how much she loves him. Matt says he can’t propose to her today because he wants it to last longer than his parents’ union and he’s just not ready. Then in the next breath he says he sees Rach as the mother of his children and his wife! I have questions!!! Matt says I don’t want to lose you so do you wanna date me? Again, I paraphrase. They kiss and ride off in a horse drawn carriage.
After the Final Rose
Now, we all know about the drama that’s surrounded Rachael since the show was airing. She attended and was photographed at an antebellum party and apparently also liked some racially insensitive and problematic photos on Instagram. CH came to her defense and made matters even worse during an interview with Rachel Lindsay. So, Emmanual Acho hosted ATFR tonight. His giant arms barely being contained by that suit jacket were a nice distraction. Ahem, anyway…
Michelle comes out looking fierce and says she never got closure because after the breakup she asked for a few minutes of Matt’s time and HE REFUSED!!!! How dare he???
Matt comes out on stage sporting that pandemic, I’m single beard. Michelle calls him out for not speaking to her after the breakup, kissing with his eyes open, and constantly saying “thank you for sharing that”. It is awesome to watch! Matt apologizes for not speaking with her when she asked.
Emmanual then speaks to Matt on his own. Emm (that’s a looonnng name to type over and over, forgive me) asks Matt about being the first black bachelor and if he felt pressure and Matt says he spent so much time during the show trying to appear non-threatening to appease people who may not be used to seeing people of color on their tv screen. That is just so sad to me that he felt like he couldn’t be his full, true self on the show because he’s black and (I assume) most of the Bachelor’s viewing audience is not.
Emm then asks about the Rachael controversy and we find out that Matt broke up with Rachael. But first he didn’t believe it when he heard it and stood by her. The breaking point came when Matt had to explain to Rachael why what she did was problematic. WOW. He shouldn’t have had to explain that to a 24 year old woman in 2021 who’s in love with a person of color.
Rachael then comes out to speak to Emm on her own first. Emm makes a great point about the antebellum party when he says history should be remembered, but not all of it should be celebrated. Truth. Rach admits to ignorance about the meaning and significance of the antebellum party and apologizes.
Matt then joins Rachael on the stage. Emm says what do you want to share with her and Matt is overcome with emotion and can barely say a thing. She tries to hold his hand but after a few moments he pulls away. Rach is crying and Matt says I don’t want to be emotionally responsible for those tears. Good for you Matt! He also says Rach has to put in the work to get better and that’s something she needs to do on her own and that’s why they can’t be together. Rach apologizes to Matt and Emm says something about do y’all want one last embrace? Matt stays completely still. I do not see a reconciliation in their future.
The next Bachelorette(s) are then announced and it’s Michelle and Katie! Yay!!! Two separate seasons, with Katie going first, filming right away and airing this summer.
Week 10- Fantasy Suites BBs! This week always skeeves me out because, come on, there’s so much fluid swapping I can’t even handle it! And yet, I watch. I’m a sucker for punishment I guess!
Before we dive in to the dates, Matt’s dad arrives for a serious sit down convo. Except Dad thinks he’s there to celebrate his son’s success! Yikes. Apparently they haven’t seen each other in a while and it’s v awkward. Like, hard to watch awkward. Matt’s all “You cheated on my mom and weren’t there for me and it’s affected all my relationships” and Dad fires back with “No one’s perfect, we all make mistakes.” Poor Matt is showing more emotion than he has all season, he even cries. But Dad shuts down. Dad ends up apologizing though after a few minutes. They end up leaving it on good terms.
Later that day is Michelle’s date. Matt walks up wearing PAINTED on jeans. I swear I don’t see how that man bends his knees! The two of them head to the spa where they have a Pennsylvania Dutch spa day that includes an oatmeal foot soak, smearing butter all over each other, and a milk bath.
That night they meet back up and Matt is sporting yet ANOTHER turtleneck! How can one man own sooo many?!?! When they get to the Fantasy Suite, Michelle says I love you. The next morning Michelle says I love telling you that I love you. Matt responds with Thank you for sharing that with me. What a silver tongued devil! So romantic!!!
Michelle rejoins the other girls who are really struggling with the whole “our boyfriend is being intimate with ALL of us this week” thing!
Bri’s date is next. Like that day. I would have thought they’d haved spaced these dates out more but it doesn’t appear that they are! Bri starts out by walking 417 miles through the woods to get to Matt. Matt then says “Welcome to the outdoors!” and informs Bri they are going to be hiking and camping in tents. They hike for a while and actually pitch a tent! And it’s not the Cadillac of tents either. Looks like a Sears special! Poor Bri is so worried she’s going to have to sleep in that thing all night!
Luckily they meet up later for the night portion of their date. Matt tells Bri the same story about his dad that he told Michelle last night. Your guy is sticking to a script! Bri tells Matt she is in love with him and is ready for an engagement. BTW, Bri is looking amazing tonight! She’s my favorite of the final 3 if you couldn’t tell.
The next morning Bri and Matt cook breakfast then Bri returns to the group where Rachael is crying and just plain falling apart.
Rachael goes to get ready for her date that day and she’s still crying and pouting. She’s all in her head about him being intimate with these other women. It amazes me every season how people act surprised. Did you not watch the show before??? She takes her pouting self to meet up with Matt and continues to pout all through the day portion of their date, which is pottery throwing. Matt and Rachael barely get their hands dirty before Rach pulls Matt aside for a talk. She tells him again that she’s falling in love with him and Matt reciprocates, saying he’s falling in love with her too.
The night portion is uneventful except that Rach shows up wearing a tiny little red dress and Matt literally licks his lips. Get it together man!!! There are fireworks as they pounce on each other. There’s no morning after footage, which is odd.
Michelle gets the first rose and OMG he’s sending Bri home!!! Nooooo!!! Bri is so smart and beautiful and you know what? She’s too good for a guy who kisses with his eyes open and only wears jeggings!!!