Bachelor Week 2

We start this episode back at the theatre where Peter and Alabama Hannah are crying and talking it out backstage. Meanwhile, all the girls on this group date are still writing out their sex stories to tell onstage to a live audience, but they are getting anxious and keep asking where is Peter? Peter is in a dark room telling AH that “I never said no to you.” My heart! Why don’t they just run off together??? AH is curled up in his lap while they cry and look at each other for what feels like 12 years. Then FINALLY P says he can’t do this and he’s going back to the girls and goodbye and WHAT? That’s it?? So I guess that’s the end of the Alabama Hannah romance!

Peter gathers up the girls and cancels the rest of the date. Natasha and some of the others are pissssed and I’m just sitting here like WOMAN, you just lucked out! You don’t have to embarrass yourself in front of strangers and America! Later at the after party during Natasha’s alone time with P she lets him know how unhappy he is and I’m thinking this is pretty risky behavior for so early in the season! Mykenna and P dance a bit and kiss and all I hear is her saying likelikelike and I want to stab my eardrums to make it stop! And did she just refer to herself in the 3rd person?? Kill her now!!! Sydney gets the date rose and it must be for how she opened up about growing up biracial in the South and how that was hard and it’s the most genuine thing I’ve seen on this show in years.

Next up is the Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party~

Lexi has to remind P 3 times who she is and even I have to look up her name in my notes when she drops the clue that she’s the one who drove up in the vintage Corvette. This does not bode well for you Lexi!

Kelsey sets up a little vignette with a blanket, candles, and a bottle of Champagne she brought from the Champagne capital of the US – De Moines, Iowa!!! Plus she’s been saving it for a full year for a special occasion. I’m thinking that stuff has not aged well, but you do you Kels. Kelsey says this bottle “totally represents me” and goes to find P but he’s gone off with Mykenna. So now Kelsey is in tears and confronts Mykenna with “You’re disrespectful and you disrespected me.” Ok, but I think the bigger issue here is why is there maple syrup on the coffee table? I have questions ABC!!!

Madison and P are talking and he gives her a framed picture from their 1st date of them with his family. Seems like a pretty serious gift for someone after a first date, but that’s just me. On the other hand she’ll have something to throw across the room if he dumps her!

Meanwhile Kelsey is STILL waiting to share this champagne with P. But alas! P & Hannah Ann stumble upon Kelsey’s little set up and pop the champagne. It twas the pop heard round the mansion! Literally. Kelsey hears the pop and walks over to P & HA in tears and says “Excuse me” but then turns and runs away crying. P follows her to the bathroom but she won’t talk to him. So he goes back to HA & the champagne. Not two minutes later Kels comes upon them & starts cussing out HA right in front of Peter! Big mistake. Huge. P takes Kels to a sofa and all Kels can say between sobs is “I set that up. I set that up.” Kels then knocks over a different bottle of champagne! P picks it up and opens it. Kels drinks straight from the bottle and y’all….the champagne foams up and spews all over her heavily made up face!!! I had to pause the show so I could laugh and laugh!!!

Kelsey is swearing that HA knew that was Kelsey’s champagne and popped it anyway. And boy is Kelsey swearing! She’s getting bleeped left & right while she’s blessing out HA. HA is apologizing and trying to get a word in edgewise, but can’t because Sailor Kels won’t let her. Kels calls HA a fake bitch & a princess & generally just verbally tears her down. It’s brutal. Tammy tells the camera “I don’t wanna be involved in this champagne crisis anymore!!!” You & me both girl. You & me both.

Rose Ceremony~

Mykenna gets the first rose. HA says to the camera “I took a beating tonight”. But HA gets a rose. They cut to Kels saying “F&#$ that!” Ha!!! Wait, who’s the girl in the hideous pink and white striped sequin dress??? My eyes!!! Kelsey inexplicably gets the last rose. You can’t tell me that wasn’t producer driven right there my friends.

Going home are 3 women I feel like I’m just seeing for the first time: Courtney, Lauren, and Payton. WHO???

After they leave there’s the group champagne toast and P asks Kels to give a toast and y’all she flat out refuses! This girl is such a hot mess brat I can’t stand it!!! She says to the group “It’s better if I keep my mouth shut right now”. I can’t even with this girl.

The next day there’s a group date at Revolve, which is apparently a v popular clothing store. The group walks in and Carson Presley, Janice Dickinson (and her botched plastic surgeryfied face), and a lady from Revolve are there. The girls have to walk the catwalk in front of an audience in Revolve clothing. The winner of the fashion show gets EVERYTHING in the store!!!

Victoria F starts freaking out because she lacks confidence. She spends the whole day in tears. The girls have to model 2 outfits- 1 day and 1 night. HA hits the runway in a bridal gown for her day look and throws P the veil. When Natasha takes the runway, Carson Presley calls her a “really sexy Amish person” and I die laughing! Kels brings a bottle of champagne with her on the runway and I swear if I have to type the words Kelsey and champagne ever again Ima send Kels a bill for my carpal tunnel surgery! Anyway she hands the bottle to P. Talk about beating a dead horse! Victoria F, the self described meek and mild girl, comes out in a teddy and a trench coat, risking a nip slip for sure! On her way down the catwalk she stops and makes out with P for a while.

HA and Victoria F are in the top 2 but HA wins. This sends Vic F over the edge. Vic says she’s done and going home.

After Party~

Vic F is STILL pouting about HA winning. Get over yourself girl. No man wants to see you boohooing and being a bad sport! P is telling her she killed it and all Vic is giving back is pout it’s just so hard and pout sharing you is hard and pout something else about something being hard. OMG! come on lady! Pull yourself together!!! P keeps reassuring her and they make out.

P then brings champagne to Kelsey. Ugh. Meanwhile HA is, for some odd reason, pouting about last night and saying that Kels is bullying her. Can’t you just be happy you just won a whole new wardrobe??? Kels comes back to the group on a HIGH after chatting with P. When it’s HA’s turn she is sure to tell P that she was up all last night crying and “my spirit is crushed” and I’m being bullied by Kelsey.

P goes back to the group, gives Victoria F the rose, then pulls Kels aside to talk. P asks her about the bullying and Kels says “I don’t like HA and she knows it” but claims even though she did in fact call HA a fake bitch princess that she’s not a bully. Just a trash mouth. Kels then goes back to the group in tears while P is pacing outside contemplating what to do about the situation.

And my BBs, that’s where ABC leaves us. Now, I won’t be able to watch next week’s episode until the following week when I’ll recap both episodes that Tuesday. Stay classy my BBs!!! 🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Finale & Reunion

Busy week but I finally had a chance to watch the Finale and Reunion!!! Let’s dive in. We pick up with the 4 remaining couples- Clay & Nicole, Demi & Kristian, Chris & Katie, and Hannah G & Dylan. They are all set to go to Fantasy Suites but when Clay and Nicole get to their FS, Clay says he still has reservations and wants to spend tonight thinking. Alone. Ouch. So Clay leaves Nicole alone to enjoy the FS.
The next day is proposal day. Clay and Nicole are up first. Nicole says “Do you love me?” and Clay responds with “I’m not there yet”. Ouch again! But then he says he wants to take it slow and leave together. That’s not good enough for our Poor Man’s JLO so Nicole runs off and they leave separately.
Chris & Katie- Chris proposes and Katie says yes and it’s sooo sweet!!! Katie, Chris, and I all cry!!!
Next up are HG & Dylan- Dylan SHOCKS US ALL by proposing! Duh! That boy’s been wanting to propose since day 1. Luckily HG says yes.
Demi & Kristian- Demi gets down on one knee!!! She proposes and Kristian says yes and I’m crying again!
Then all the couples come down to the beach for hugs and celebrations!
Reunion- My favorite part of all this!!!
WHY does Dean look like an ole timey oil tycoon??? He’s wearing a bolo tie and it’s just strange.
Chris Harrison starts us off with Derek & JPJ’s feud. When asked if he would like to apologize JPJ just says “What happened was unfortunate.” Come on JPJ!!! Be a big man & apologize!!!!
Jordan & Christian- Neither will apologize for their fight. In fact, there’s security on hand just in case they get out of hand!!! But they have very little talk time and the show goes on.
Caelynn/Dean/Connor- Cae says things are going great with Dean and that she’s slept in the van a couple nights! Connor and Whitney are still together. Yay!
Kristina/Blake/Caelynn- Everyone’s trying to get Blake to apologize for releasing text messages between him and Caelynn. Blake finally apologizes for how she’s feeling and that she took some heat because of the texts but he never actually apologizes for releasing the texts!!! Dean consoles her backstage.
Then Chris Harrison brings out the established, married BIP couples- Chris & Krystal, Carly & Evan, and Jade & Tanner and their kids. Carly is pregnant with baby #2 so they do a gender reveal.
Back to the current BIP peeps. JPJ & Tayshia- Tayshia is up on stage and CH asks her if she made a mistake saying goodbye to JPJ and she says “Very much so”!!! SO it turns out Tay flew to Maryland to surprise JPJ!!! When she gets to his house she tells him she wants to explore things with him and he asks her to be his girlfriend! So cute! JPJ then comes up on stage and they kiss. CH asks JPJ if he loves Tayshia and JPJ drops to one knee and recites some Shakespeare. Tay about stroked out thinking he was going to propose!
Katie & Chris- Katie says she’s exhausted. And she’s not wearing her engagement ring! But she says they are still engaged. Chris comes out and acts all emotionally unavailable. Chris puts Katie’s ring back on her but backstage they argue and Chris walks away.
Dylan & HG are still engaged and she STILL has the personality of a potato.
Demi & Kristian come out to a standing ovation. After they talk to CH for a bit Kristian has Demi stand up. Then Kristian gets on one knee and proposes!!!Another standing O!!!
Peter comes out as the next Bachelor with a fresh haircut. January 6 it all starts again! Until then my BBs!!! xoxo 🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 6 Night 2

I finally was able to watch Week 6 Night 2. Everyone on the beach is examining their relationships. Demi is so worried about what people think.
Hannah G gets a date card. She and Dylan go to a kid’s birthday party. Mexico is a beautiful country with many amazing places to go and things to do and THIS is what the producers come up with??? No offense to the birthday kid but come on ABC!!! Dylan tells HG he loves her and she says it back.
Back at the resort Connor really wants Whitney to arrive. He and Whitney hit it off at Chris and Krystal’s wedding and he can’t stop thinking about her. He can’t see her arriving so he leaves. Mere moments later Whitney arrives! They passed each other on the road! Whitney decides to leave to go after Connor. She goes to Connor’s hotel and he’s so excited to see her! They kiss.
Tayshia has JPJ put on a speedo (he chooses denim- gag) so she can draw him like Jack drew Rose in Titanic. They have so much fun together!
Chris is all in his head and unsure about Katie.
It’s time for the Cocktail Party before the Rose Ceremony. The men are giving out roses this week. Chris Harrison cancels the cocktail party so they move straight to the Rose Ceremony.
Luke (totally forgot he was even there!!!) offers his rose to Bri who TURNS HIM DOWN! CH says “This has never happened before. Is there anyone else who’d like Luke’s rose tonight? Anyone??” BLESS!!! Luke goes home. Matt—>Bri. Dylan—>HG. JPJ—>Tayshia. Chase—>Angela. Clay—>Nicole. Demi—>Kristian. Chris—>Katie. Sydney, Rev, and Haley go home.
The next day CH arrives and gathers everyone together. He says BIP is over. No more rose ceremonies. Time to have the make it or break it conversations.
Matt talks to Bri. She says she can’t see this going further and leaves. I don’t think they even hug!Chase and Angela break up.HG & Dylan decide to go to Fantasy Suites.Clay & Nicole decide to go to Fantasy Suites.JPJ & Tayshia talk. JPJ says he’s in love with Tayshia. Tay says I want to get there but I’m not there yet. JPJ walks away. Tay runs after him crying and saying I’m sorry. They hug and cry. I cry. He says goodbye and they leave separately. Demi & Kristian decide to go to Fantasy Suites.Chris & Katie talk. Chris is in tears because he’s so unsure but they decide to go to Fantasy Suites.
Only 4 couples left! Can’t wait for next week! And especially the reunion!!! Until then BBs xoxo🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 6 Night 1

CSP decided to take a nap so I jumped at the chance to watch Week 6 Night 1!!! We pick up with porn stacheless Dean asking Caelynn if she will leave Paradise with him! And go where exactly? The man lives in a van!!! So Cae goes and talks to Connor, who is practically begging her not to leave. She then goes back to a v v charming Dean. And decides to go with him. They make out a bit then she goes around telling everyone goodbye. POOR Connor!!!
Chris gets a date card so he and Katie leave for their date. Meanwhile Connor is crying over Caelynn and Blake comforts him. Say what you will about Blake but he does show up for his friends.
Chris and Katie go to Fake Dinner and talk about their relationship. Chris assures Katie that they are in a good place. She’s beaming she is so happy. Then a wedding parade comes by with sparklers and music and it looks so fun! They join in.
The next day Matt is trying to decide between Sydney and Bri. Revian (WHO???) arrives with a date card. She talks to ALL the guys then finally asks Connor to go out with her. They go on a segway tour around town then make out. One minute he’s saying he was so bummed about Caelynn then the next he’s macking on Rev’s face!
Demi gets a date card but she’s conflicted because she hates PDA and Kristian is a very touchy, feely person. Kristian touches all the other girls when they talk and Demi is a bit jealous and feeling insecure. Their date is with some Mexican natives who perform a sacred ceremony meant to strengthen their relationship. It’s really beautiful. After, they talk and Kristian reassures Demi that it’s all ok and Demi IS enough, despite her insecurities that she’s not.
Back at the resort, JPJ asks Tayshia to prom. They both get all dressed up. I’m really starting to get concerned for Tayshia’s boobs. Tayshia is sporting some serious boobage but very rarely seems to wear anything with any support! She better watch out before she ends up with knee knockers!!! Anyway, JPJ leads Tayshia to this cabana he’s decorated for prom with balloons. He’s thought of everything! There’s champagne and he has a corsage for Tay and crowns for them to be king and queen of prom. A saxophone player arrives and they dance. Then the other couples join them. Tayshia is totally delighted! Who wouldn’t be?!? She never was asked to prom and happened to mention it to JPJ. SO sweet!!!
Blake is hit with inspiration and writes up a date card for Kristina. He sets up the treehouse with all these candles and snacks and pillows. Kristina arrives and instantly shuts. Him. Down. She tells him she just can’t get there with him. She leaves him in tears and then leaves Paradise all together. Black does a tearful interview then decides to leave too. Don’t they pack up their stuff? I mean they show the people leaving in the SUVs in their bathing suits and flip flops. I’d want my stuff!!!
And that’s it until tomorrow! Or Friday if CSP doesn’t nap tomorrow! Ha!!! Till then BBs….xo🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 Night 2

Week 5 Night 2: With Derek’s exit, everyone is taking a careful look at their own relationships. Chase (who??) arrives with his sights set on Angela. Apparently they met at Chris and Krystal’s wedding. Chase wastes no time dilly dallying and asks Angela on his date. She agrees to go. EVERYONE on the beach is talking about the whole Clay/Angela/Nicole thing. I’m honestly over it. Clay and Angela dated for 8 months, not 8 years!!!
Meanwhile, Blake’s freaking out about not having a love connection. Then all the sudden he decides he wants to give it a shot with Kristina again. He tells Kristina who says “Let’s see if you feel the same way tomorrow”.
Cocktail Party: Sydney is DYING for Matt to kiss her. Matt’s all in his head about kissing her so he’s sweating like a whore in church! So much so that JPJ has to wipe him down! Matt finally kisses Sydney and the whole beach rejoices!
Chris asks Katie to be his exclusive girlfriend. Yay!
Clay asks Angela to talk. They FINALLY hash things out so we can all move on from this non drama!
Blake and Kristina talk more about their relationship and he declares he’s all in for her. We shall see!
Rose Ceremony–Nicole gives her rose to Clay Angela–>ChaseKristian–> DemiHG–> DylanKatie–> Chris (who under his name and age the ABC producers put “NOT Gerard Butler” Bahahahaha!!!! He does look like Gerard!!! SO funny!!!Haley–> Luke SCaelynn–> ConnorSydney–> Matt Tayshia–> JPJ (wiggity what??? She even says to him “there are plenty of fish in the sea but you’re the only fish I see.” She let Derek leave and is all about JPJ now??? I’m befumbled (as Hannah B would say)!!! )Kristina–> Blake
This means Mike is going home and I feel so badly for him. He’s such a good guy! He needs me to be his dating coach!
The next day Brie arrives with a date card. She asks Blake and they have a fairly long conversation. Long enough for Kristina to really sweat it out!! But in the end he says no! Yay! Brie then asks Matt to go, who says yes. Sad for Sydney. Matt and Brie go surfing then make out on the beach. What happened to not kissing on the first date Matt??? Ugh.
Back at the resort….Dean arrives sans mustache. Good to see that ugly piece of hair go! Everyone is speculating over why he’s there. Dean asks Caelynn to talk. Connor is all nervous. Dean tells Caelynn he wants to be with her and asks her to leave Paradise with him TODAY! Boom!
And that’s it until next week BBs! Next week looks good!!! xo 🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 Night 1

Week 5 Night 1. I binged both episodes today so we have a lot to talk about! We start with Angela arriving and Clay and Nicole sweating about it. That Angela’s lips are never not pursed! Nicole goes to talk to Angela and basically tells her to stay away from her man. I’m impressed they are able to have a civilized conversation!
Angela takes Mike on her date. They go to Fake Dinner but they talk about Clay! They still manage to make out though. I wonder if the producers heavily encourage them to make out??
The next day Haley is talking about how she’s really into JPJ. Derek comes and tells Haley JPJ is all in love with Tayshia. Haley then tells JPJ that Derek told her about JPJ’s feelings for Tayshia. JPJ comes clean to Haley, who does not take it well and is all upset crying. She later calls JPJ out a the bar and honestly JPJ is not looking really good here.
Haley and Tayshia talk it out and Derek asks JPJ to talk so they can put all this to bed. Derek and JPJ’s conversation escalates rather quickly and turns into a shouting match. They walk away with no resolution and Tayshia says she’s just over it all.
The next day Matt and Luke S arrive. They have double date cards. Matt asks Sydney (who’s thing is over with Mike, sadly) and Luke asks Kristina on the date. They go to explore a town. No kissing! Luke thinks Kristina is still into Blake and Mike is just shy with Sydney.
Back at the resort, Hannah G and Dylan go to the Boom Boom Room!
JPJ pulls Tayshia to talk. She’s not offering much in the way of encouragement along the lines of their relationship. JPJ starts crying and goes upstairs where he sits and cries and then BLOWS HIS SNOT ONTO THE GROUND!!! I seriously gagged. I knew it was coming so I looked away but the sound made me want to vomit! Guys are SO gross!!!
Tayshia and Derek sit down to talk and she tells him she doesn’t think she can get there with him. Poor Derek! My heart just hurts for him! He reminds me of John Krasinski so I have a soft spot. Too bad Tayshia doesn’t! Derek decides to go home and gives a tearful goodbye.
And that’s it for this episode! See you on the flip side BBs!! xo 🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 Night 2

Week 4 Night 2 picks up right after the Rose Ceremony when Dean is pulling Caelynn away from the group to talk. Dean tells Cae he won’t be able to get where she wants him to be. Says their lifestyles just aren’t compatible and that he should leave and she should stay and explore options. Dean leaves. Caelynn goes back to the group in tears.
The next day JPJ is crying over Tayshia liking Derek. Says he’s in love with her. He’s SOBBING and blowing his nose like a fog horn. Blake is trying to comfort him but is visibly uncomfortable!
Tayshia finds a beautiful box for everyone. It’s an invitation to Breathy Krystal and Chris the Goose’s wedding! They met last year in paradise. Everyone’s all excited about the wedding except Caelynn, who’s still upset over Dean. Everyone goes to the wedding and JPJ decides to try and talk to Tayshia about their situation while they are seated waiting for the ceremony to start. Not good timing JPJ!!! Angela is a bridesmaid and she used to date Clay, who’s now there with Nicole. Krystal looks beautiful and it’s a sweet, gorgeous ceremony.
At the reception JPJ is running around talking to anyone who will listen about Derek being a creepy womanizer. Finally JPJ pulls Derek aside to “talk”. But JPJ gets LOUD and makes a scene. NOT COOL. Plus he won’t let Derek get a word in edgewise. Tayshia sees what’s going on and is crying.
Chris (the groom) invites only some of the current Paradise residents to the after party. At the after party Caelynn and Connor talk then make out. Guess she’s over Dean! Clay asks Angela to talk. She looks gorgeous! He says he still really cares for her.
Back at the resort, JPJ walks up to Derek at the bar and starts back in on him about Tayshia. Derek keeps trying to get JPJ to have a civilized conversation but JPJ is getting belligerent. I tell ya. I have been a huge JPJ fan up until this moment. I don’t know if what he’s saying about Derek is true or false but I don’t like the way JPJ is handling himself!
The next day Connor arrives with a date card. He asks Caelynn and all the girls cheer! All but Kristina who’s jealous because she’s interested in Connor too. Connor and Cae paint with their bodies and make out on their date.
Clay and Nicole talk about Angela. Clay tries to assure Nicole that she has nothing to worry about, but she’s worried.
Angela arrives! Because of course she does. And that’s it until next week BBs!!! xo 🌹