Week 2! Wow y’all. This episode is CRINGEWORTHY!!! Let’s dive right in, shall we?!
First we have a group date. To which Clare shows up looking like a Boy Scout’s mom! Those khaki shorts! Yikes!!! So this date is all about the Love Languages. If you’re not familiar, Google it. Basically it’s 5 ways that we express love and receive love. I’m optimistic for this date (minus Clare’s forest ranger garb) because at least it’s got some depth to it and isn’t some rando obstacle course or something. But my hopes are shattered when ABC puts Clare in a cheap high school production of Romeo and Juliet. She’s up in this Juliet tower and all the guys on the date are then forced to give her Words of Affirmation with precious little direction. Each guy wings it and says some sweet things.
Next up is Gifts. The guys all race back to their rooms to rummage around in their luggage for a gift for Clare. They give her a chess piece, a baseball, etc. She’s lucky she didn’t end up with the free shower cap from the hotel!
Last up is Physical Touch. The guys and C are blindfolded and are forced to touch each other in front of all the other guys. Cringe. Esp when it’s Dale’s turn and C is sighing like this isn’t family friendly television! Get a room! ALL the other guys are totally jealous and v uncomfortable!
The After Party-
C comes over to the group of guys and sits down and raises a toast. Then….CRICKETS!!! NO ONE pulls her aside to talk! Not even Hot Boring Dale!!! C literally has to tell them to step up. Finally Bennet puts her out of her misery and asks to speak with her.
They go off to talk but C can’t stay focused because she’s still flabbergasted that she had to beg for some attention! She leaves Bennet mid chat and goes back to the group and chastises them. Dale then steps up and takes her to talk. Nevermind poor Bennet! During their conversation C tells Dale she has feelings for him!!! They’ve known each other for 14 minutes!!! And he reciprocates!!! WOW.
Riley gets the group date rose because C has to pretend she has a modicum of interest in the other guys there.
Yo says C is hot headed and immature and that he’ll address it with her if need be. OH. WELL. That C isn’t living up to his expectations. MY MY Yo. Mighty high opinion of yourself!
Jason gets a note from C with instructions to write a letter to his younger self before the date. Wow. A date with homework! Ok…. They go out to a fire in the desert and scream into the sky to purge bad demons. Then C makes Jason write down things his ex’s have called him on a tile while she does the same. They then read out the qualities to each other and am I the only one seeing red flags here??? He’s been called cold, manipulative, hard to love, etc. But ok… let’s just gloss over that part! They then shatter the tile against the rocks. Excuse please, but who’s designing these dates? Dr. Phil??? Next up they read the letters to their younger selves out loud to each other. Let’s skip right past your favorite color and talk about all your heart ache and inner demons! I hope C charges Jason a co-pay for all this free therapy!!!
I notice though- no fake dinner! Jason gets the rose and they kiss. C brings out the dress she wore on the last episode of her Bachelor season with Juan Pablo and they burn it in the fire.
2nd Group Date
The guys assemble and find out they are playing Dodgeball. Guess Dr. Phil was busy today. And not just any style dodgeball but STRIP DODGEBALL!!! CRINGE. The winning team gets to go to the after party with C and the losers have to do the walk of shame home. Nakey. So clearly the stakes have never been higher. Now, I’m all for a little silly fun, but ABC could never get away with strip anything on the Bachelor so why is it ok to humiliate the guys? I hate the phrase “just saying” (so passive aggressive). But seriously, just saying. ESP because the guys all look v uncomfortable when it’s time to strip. And it doesn’t take long for the red team to obliterate the blue team. Blue team walks home nakey and Red team are off to the after party!
This party is pretty boring. Until Bearded Blake crashes the party. He was on the losing team. He’s talking with C when the Red team shows up to confront him. C sends him away and as BB is going to leave he leans in for a kiss and C GIVES HIM THE CHEEK!!! CRINGE!!! Yikes man.
C is then talking with Brandon and it is soooo awkward! C asks why did he come on the show and all Brandon can say is because “You’re so beautiful”. Seriously dude? EVERYONE knows you don’t go in for a job interview without researching the company!!! I mean, the least he could have done was watch her season and come up with a compliment. C sends him home. Brava!
For some reason Chasen gets the group date rose.
C pulls BB aside right away and gives him a rose and a kiss. So BB is safe and feels better after his big ol dish of awkward soup last night. I must say, BTW, that C looks amazing tonight! Her dress is beautiful and her boobs look great!
The rest of the episode, I KID YOU NOT, is C & Dale making out. Making out on a sofa. Dale wearing a mask and making out against a door. You get the drift. So we’ll have to wait until next week to see if C can dislodge her tongue from Dale’s throat long enough for a proper rose ceremony!!!
Until then my BBs!!! xo 🌹