We start back with Ben and Tayshia. She tells Ben he can come to the Rose Ceremony tonight. And she kisses him!
Ben arrives, much to the surprise of Ivan and Zac! JUST before handing out the first rose, Tay asks to speak to Ivan. They go sit down and she says they have differing religious beliefs so she breaks up with him and sends him home! I need more information ABC!!! What are these differences?!?
Back to Ben and Zac ( I swear, rules just don’t apply on this show anymore!!!) Tay tells them they will meet her family.
The next day, Tay’s family arrives. Mom, Dad, and 2 brothers. So cute! Ben is up first to meet the fam and before she goes to get him, Tay fills the family in on the fact that Ben had been sent home but came back. He makes a good impression on the family, especially because he went to West Point and served in the military. Zac meets the family the next day. Dad talks to Zac and likes him a lot. Mom is really soft spoken. Zac knows just what to say to win the family over.
The next morning, Tay’s Dad drops by to lay down some wisdom for her. Then she has her last date with Zac. They learn a wedding first dance from instructors. They do great! That night they hang out at Zac’s suite because by this time the producers are JUST SO TIRED of trying to come up with creative dates at the La Quinta!
The next day is Ben’s last date. Tay goes to his suite and sits him down and tells him her heart is with another man. She sends him home and he’s either really broken hearted or REALLY trying to be the next Bachelor.
So it’s Zac. UGH. There’s still just something I don’t like about him!!! Tay looks AMAZING in a skin tight silver dress! Zac arrives in a blue suit with (THANK YOU LORD) black shoes! I hate a pair of brown shoes with a blue suit!!! And he’s finally wearing socks!!! Praise be! Maybe he just brought the one pair. They give each other speeches full of love and he proposes and she says yes. They cry, I cry. I wish them nothing but happiness!!!
And that’s it my BBs! Until January 4th when the extremely handsome Matt James premiers as the Bachelor! xo 🌹
Jojo comes over for a girl chat. Meanwhile Chris Harrison visits the guys and drops off the 1st Fantasy Suites Date Card!
Ivan gets the first date and he’s pumped! Ivan and Tayshia walk to a clearing that’s staged with 2 ice baths. They will be attempting to break the world record for the longest, coldest kiss. They kiss for 6 minutes and 36 seconds, which is about 6 minutes and 30 seconds longer than I’d be able to last in an ice bath! They manage to break the record and then some!!!
That night over Fake Dinner Ivan tells Tay that he’s falling in love with her and she says the same back. Yay!!! Fake Dinner lasts all of about 5 minutes before they are off to the Fantasy Suite, which is an Airstream! Boy is that thing tiny inside! But the set up is v v cute! The next morning they seem to be in good spirits and Ivan says they stayed up all night talking and watched the sun rise.
Zac gets the 2nd FS date. Their day date is body painting and rolling around on a giant canvas and making out. That night Zac tells Tay he loves her and she says she loves him too! WHAT ABOUT IVAN TAY??? Their FS is an actual suite at the La Quinta. It’s beautiful.
Brendan is the last FS date. He arrives wearing a button up Mandarin collar shirt that’s practically a turtleneck. Man loves his neck covered! I’d fall over if I saw him in a deep V!!! Their day date is hanging with Neil Lane trying on wedding jewelry. Poor Brendan is basically mute and sweating profusely through the whole thing! That night over Fake Dinner Brendan admits he’s not healed 100% from his past heartbreak and he’s not ready for marriage yet. So he basically sends himself home. Tay walks him out and says she really thought she’d end up with Brendan at the end! I’m a bit surprised by this because she’s declaring her love all over the place. Poor Brendan is so sad but kudos for not sticking it out just to do it.
The next day Rachel arrives to give advice. After she leaves, Ben (!!!) shows up at CH’s door! Ben tells CH he’s in love with Tay and needs to tell her. That night is a Rose Ceremony. Tay is getting ready for the ceremony in a hugely boobalicious dress. Let’s hope that tape holds Tay!!! JUST before the ceremony, Ben arrives at Tay’s door. She lets him in and they sit down. Ben declares he’s in love with Tayshia. Tay says she needs a minute and walks into another room where she’s talking to producers.
And that’s it for tonight!!! Cliffhanger!!! Back with the finale shortly BBs!!! 🌹
Hometowns! This is usually one of my favorite episodes because we get a peek behind the curtain and see where these guys came from and who their families are. But COVID messed it all up for me! I mean, them.
Chris Harrison visits the 4 remaining guys and tells them they can’t go to their real hometowns because of Covid so they have to plan dates for Tayshia there on the La Quinta property that represent their hometowns. This ought to be rich! Those poor producers!
Brendan is up first and he takes Tay to a makeshift carnival, which does’t tell me a thing about his hometown! His little niece joins them and it’s sweet seeing Brendan interact with her.
That night Tay and Brendan meet up with Brendan’s brother and SIL and the niece is there too. Brendan telling his brother how great of a brother and father he is is making me cry! Dammit ABC, don’t make me have real feelings for these people!!!
Zac is next and he says he’s taking Tay on a tour of NYC. I still can not figure out what she sees in him!!! Anyway, they get into a cardboard taxi and go to a “bagel shop”, “pizza joint”, “Central Park” and then they full on get into a fountain and make out. It’s strange. But I have to admit, the taxi was cute!
That night they meet Mom, Dad, and Brother. Mom is in a strapless black top! Go Mom! I’m all team Mom until Mom says let’s have a cheers. UGH!!! People! It’s let’s have a TOAST! What’s so hard about that to remember?!? Ivan (yay!) is next up and he takes Tay to his suite where they watch a video starring his adorable little niece. Then they cook some Filipino food and dance around the kitchen. Too cute!
That night Tay finds out she’s only the 2nd girl Ivan’s ever introduced to his parents! YIKES!!! Ivan’s parents are cuties and I can’t help but notice his mom and Tayshia are basically dressed alike. Mom is a big skeptic of this whole journey. Toward the end of the visit Ivan’s brother Gabe pops out and surprises him and there are tears all around! So sweet!!!
Ben is the final hometown date. He’s from Indiana but takes Tayshia to Fake Venice Beach. What the what?!? Makes no sense to me. They roller blade, stop at a fake juice bar, shop at a fake outdoor shop, and swim in the pool.
That night they meet up with Ben’s sister and close family friend. He’s talking with the friend who has to pull it out of him that he’s in love with Tayshia. But he doesn’t tell Tay! What’s wrong with you Ben???
First rose goes to Ivan. #2- Zac, #3- Brendan. Ben!!! You’re going home because you won’t open up! Tay walks him out and he’s a stone faced robot and shows ZERO emotion. Here’s his last chance to say I love you and he clams up. In the car he realizes that maybe she loves him but doesn’t think he loves her. That’s called REGRET my friend.
And that’s it for this week! Next week is the 2 night finale in this rushed season. I don’t see how any of these guys OR Tay are ready to marry each other at this point, as they’ve only spent like 45 minutes with each other. Oh well, that’s show business baby!!!
Chris Harrison is back from taking his son to college and his subsequent quarantine. Thank goodness because the 2 episodes Jojo hosted were kinda yawn inducing!
Blake’s 1-1Somehow Blake and Tayshia get a pass off the La Quinta premises and they go out into the desert. They are met by a Reiki & Crystal Master (her words). They are told to disrobe down to their undies while Crystal Lady swings crystals over their chakras. It’s at this point that Blake pops a boner! All season long the other guys in the house have talked about how Blake talks non stop about sex, so it’s no surprise he can’t control himself! Gross.
They then do this tantric breathing exercise where Tay has to sit on top of Blake, facing him. They are told to look in each other’s eyes. Blake is totally into it (obvs) but you can see in Tay’s face she’s just not feeling it. Sure enough she doesn’t let Blake make it to Fake Dinner and sends him home right after Crystal time! Tay then changes clothes and goes to the guys’ room and tells them “We need to talk”. She is crying and asks to talk to Riley. They go outside and she breaks up with him. I’m a bit surprised because they seemed to have a great connection and he’d really been opening up of late. Sorry, Riley, I was rooting for you!
The next day is the Rose Ceremony & Cocktail party. The guys all gather and Bennett walks in with a big smile on his face. He explains that Tayshia invited him back. I can’t help but notice that only ONE man in the whole group is wearing socks and they are ALL wearing suits. WHAT is going on with this??? Please ask the men in your life what their stance is on suits and socks! CSP never wears dress shoes without socks so this is all strange to me.
CH comes in and announces that there’s no cocktail party. Tay arrives in a HIDEOUS pink satin floral dress with a crinkly bottom that really confuses me. They can’t all be winners!
Zac gets the 1st rose and I die a little inside. Ivan gets the second, yay!!! Brendan gets #3 and Ben already has a rose from last week. So that’s your hometown gang! Noah and Bennett are sent home. It’s weird because why let Bennett come back just to turn around and send him right home? Not that I’m on Team Bennett, just wondering.
Men Tell All
This is not correctly titled because they didn’t tell A THING. First of all we’re missing Joe, and Chasen, and Eazy, and who knows who else! So I’m mad about that. And the whole thing feels weird without all the seething women in the audience. Damn you Covid!!!
Noah and Bennett are still at odds. Kenny is wearing a head to toe camo hoodie sweatsuit that is an affront to my eyes. There’s literally no good drama so they had to bring Yosef back. He says he has no regrets about how he verbally attacked and abused Clare. He says if his daughter did the same thing he’d hope someone would call her out on it! And he says he’s not apologizing to Clare. He’s a pure garbage human.
Tayshia comes out and they rehash her breakups with Bennett (boring), Blake (they spent like an hour together and he’s still hung up on it!), and Riley (he was V emotional and obviously still not over Tay, but acted like a true gentleman).
They show some lame bloopers and that’s it until Hometowns! So, until tomorrow BBs!!! 🌹xo
Week 9!! I can’t believe it’s week 9 and Tayshia still has 47 men left to choose from! Narrow the field!!!
We start back at Noah and Bennet’s 2-1 Date, um I mean stern conversation. I saw on Instagram someone comparing Bennet’s teeth to American Girl Doll teeth and now I can’t unsee it. Google it for a treat!!! So Bennet gets to talk to Tay first and she just looks at him with this glazed over expression. I’ve seen more interest come from a tortilla. Also, Bennet is WAY TOO OLD to be wearing bright, white sneakers with a suit! Come on man! I don’t wanna see those ankles!!!
After talking with Tay, Noah goes back and starts up again with Bennet! Not that Bennet doesn’t deserve it but stop being a shit stirrer Noah!!! Tay comes back and tells Bennet he’s condescending and she can’t give him the rose. I could see this coming from a mile away yet I’m still a bit shocked! I say send them both home! This fight they’re in isn’t even interesting! Tay walks a STUNNED Bennet out and then says sending him home just didn’t feel right.
Cut to Noah who’s shoveling Tic Tacs in his mouth as fast as he can. Tay tells him this is NOT a victory for him and doesn’t give him the rose either! But she lets him stay around for the rose ceremony. She also tells Noah he’s not ready for marriage.
Noah doesn’t get any time with Tayshia. Meanwhile, after finding out that next week is Home Towns and approximately 30 of them are going home tonight, the guys pull out all the stops to try and get that coveted rose!
There are only 5 roses and this sends the guys into a group panic! Noah skates by by the skin of his teeth and gets the last rose. Going home: Ed (thank you Lord), Demar, and my dear, sweet, super cute Spencer!!! BUT she kept Blake!?!?! This world does not make sense!!!
There are now 7 men left.
The next day Zac gets all emotional about the possibility of bringing Tay home to his family. There’s just something about Zac that does not sit right with me. Hmmm.
Ben gets the 1-1. They do a scavenger hunt around the La Quinta property and it’s a pretty lame date. Even by Covid standards. Step it up producers!!!
I notice that Ben has really good hands. I like good hands. He opens up to Tay telling her about his post-military struggles. He broke his back. AND he had 2 failed suicide attempts. I just want to hug him so hard. This is some really personal information that he’s sharing and I think it’s so brave and so important. Kudos to ABC for letting these guys’ personal confessions air. Tayshia gives Ben the rose.
Group Date Jojo is there to administer the cheapest, jankiest looking lie detector test I’ve ever seen! They couldn’t bring in an “expert” for the day??? Personally, I wouldn’t trust anything that hunk of bolts told me, but I digress. Tay goes first and then the guys strap in. Zac admits he’s cheated in the past, the machine says Riley’s name isn’t his name, and Brendan is straight up terrified to take Tay home to mama.
Later at the after party…. Tay shows up wearing a set of white damask curtains pretending to be a dress. It has a VERY bridal feel to it. It even has a train!!!
Zac says he did cheat. In the 6th grade. UGH. Brendan’s wearing a Star Trek costume knock off top and it’s so distracting I can barely pay attention to what he’s saying. Riley changed his name due to some painful family history. He was a Junior but there was lots of drama with his dad so now he’s not.
Tayshia says she can’t give out the group date rose and they’ll have to wait until the rose ceremony.
Tay goes back to her room and who should be standing outside her door like a creepy stalker but Bennet!!!! WHAT?!? She lets him in even though I’m screaming at the tv for her not to. They sit down and Bennet says he loves her. He’s breathing all heavy and now she’s all confused and caught off guard. She tells him to give her till tomorrow to think about it. They stand for her to walk him out and hug. Bennet goes in for a kiss but Tay says NO, nice try!!!
And that’s it for this week!!! I personally think Bennet just doesn’t like to lose. He’s not once spoken about Tayshia in a tender, loving manner. My 2 cents.
Next week is a two night event- Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday being the Men Tell All, which I LOVE! Can’t wait!!! Until then my BBs! 🌹xo
Welcome to Week 8 my BBs! We start with an appearance by Jojo at Tayshia’s room for brunch and advice. Then we cut to the guys all gathered around and Chris Harrison KNOCKING on their door. He did take a note from Ed last week! Ha!
CH is going to take his son to college so Jojo will be filling in. NOT my favorite Bachelorette. But I digress. Zac and his underbite get this week’s first 1-1 date. I’m not excited about this, there’s just something about him I don’t like. He says he doesn’t live a straight and narrow life. Oooh mysterioso!!! Zac & Tay are going to have a Fake Wedding photo shoot! Tay looks less than thrilled, which surprises me because don’t the producers run the dates by her? Anyway, they try on a HIDEOUS, truly, array of wedding ensembles. One of which shows a bit of underboob for Tay. The scandal! This is a family show!
Afterwards the two of them are talking and Zac shares that he was married before for about a year. Tay shares that she was also married previously for less than 2 years and Zac seems oddly excited that they share that in common.
Zac talks about himself using his own name, which drives me up a wall people!!! But then he shares that when he was 23 he had a brain tumor which really messed him up and led him to get involved with drugs and ruin his marriage. He ended up in rehab and now sits on the board of that rehab. Again I applaud ABC for not cutting this footage and letting people show their true selves!!! That couldn’t have been easy for Zac. Tay gives him the rose then they are off to ride a ferris wheel that you could not pay me enough to get on! You KNOW that thing was cobbled together in like 30 minutes by some poor PAs and interns! But it’s pretty and they seem to have a good time making out on it!
Today’s group date is all about artistic expression! So the guys and Tay assemble in what was most likely the wrestling ring a couple weeks ago, and get their art on. First they have to draw a nude couple. Then they are blindfolded and have to sculpt something that reminds them of their time with Tay. Bennet has jockeyed for the seat next to Tay so he takes the opportunity to kiss her while everyone is blindfolded. He and Noah keep exchanging barbs throughout the date. It’s so annoying and childish. Back to the sculptures. Blake makes a giant penis. Keeping it Klassy with Blake!
Next up the guys have to create their self portraits with mixed media. Brendan just makes a picture frame, but most of the guys go deep! I’m proud of them! They talk about emotional childhood traumas that they’ve lived through. Opening up like that on national tv has got to be hard, so bravo guys! Then it’s Ben’s turn and he… he…OMG WHY DOES HE STRIP DOWN??? He takes off all his clothes and stands in front of Tay and the art instructor and all the guys and you KNOW he choked making his self portrait and is embarrassed and doesn’t want to be shown up. UGH. Who ever does the best gets 1-1 time with Tay. Tay is brought to tears by the guys and decides she can’t pick just one winner.
Tay is showing lots o’ boob tonight! Bennet and Noah are still pecking at each other and it is tiresome! Ben shares with Tayshia that he had an eating disorder for years and I’m impressed that he’s brave enough to share that AND that ABC didn’t cut it because you never hear about men’s eating disorders and that could help someone. Ben gets the rose.
I think Tayshia is doing a great job at being the Bachelorette! Not that she had a hard act to follow with Clare. Man, Clare was the worst! But I like how Tay talks about each guy who made an impression on her that day before giving out the group date rose. Among other things. Ok, carry on!
Tayshia and Eazy are going ghost hunting tonight. Who knew La Quinta had so much going on?!? An oil baron who went mad when his bride and child died?!? I couldn’t really get into this date because it was all just so contrived, but Eazy screamed a bunch and that was funny!
As soon as they sit down for Fake Dinner, Eazy professes that he’s falling in love with Tay. WHAT? Y’all have spent like 15 minutes together!!! The look on Tay’s face tells me she is NOT feeling the same. And sure enough, she sends him home. Fake Dinner lasted all of like 10 minutes!!!
The next day the guys are thinking they are about to get ready for the Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party when Jojo (ugh) shows up and tells them while there will still be a cocktail party, it will be after a mini 2-1 with Noah and Bennet.
Noah and Bennet arrive first and Bennet presents Noah with a gift box. Inside it is a bandana, a sock with mustaches on it, and a book on emotional intelligence. NICE. Bennet is such an arrogant ass. I’m not a big fan of Noah the Liar, but come on Bennet! You can’t give a “gift” like that to Noah and then 5 minutes later, when Tay arrives, tell her you don’t have any animosity toward Noah. Tay looks amazing in her dress btw. Noah and Bennet argue a bit in front of Tay. Then, Tay notices the gift box. “What’s in the box?”….. and that is how the show ends this week!
We start out with the guys all bellyaching about last night. Chris Harrison arrives and announces that the guys who were not on the group date last night have to write a love song and perform it for Tayshia to win a 1-1 with her. Zac, Kenny, Blake, & Riley deliver some pretty pitiful performances, but bless em, they tried. Bennet proceeds to RAP (mind you he’s the white Harvard boy) about Brie in Paris. It’s painful. Ivan and Demar sing some pretty good songs! Ivan even brings Tay up on stage, and for that he wins.
So that night Ivan goes to Tayshia’s suite and you could tell the producers were really scratching their heads about what could the two of them do on their date that would be allowed on air at 8pm on ABC?? So they played the floor is lava and Twister and had a pillow fight, etc. They actually ordered and ate REAL DINNER from room service, including a ginormous ice cream sundae that seriously would have fed the entire resort!!! Then Tay and Ivan go outside to chat. Ivan gets deep and shares about his little brother who spent some time in jail. Their conversation turns to Black Lives Matter and their personal experiences growing up mixed race in America. I applaud ABC for not cutting this part of the date! WAY TO GO! For real. Ivan, of course, gets the rose. I like Ivan. If this were a non Covid season of the Bachelorette, I’m not sure he’d have lasted this long, as he’s quiet and not obnoxious. But I think he’d be good for Tay. He has a real job! And is intelligent! Godspeed Ivan!
The next day Becca and Sydney arrive to “help” with the group date. Which is basically a wacky version of Truth or Dare. The guys all have to do the dares during the day, the truth part will be at the after party. They split up into groups of 2 and have to do things like drink nasty smoothies with bull testicles, find CH and have him sign their tushies, etc. CH is eating crab legs and having champagne when 2 of the guys find him to sign their bodies. I KNEW CH was living the high life when he was off camera!!!
One of the dares is that the guys have to make orgasm noises into the hotel’s PA system over the phone. If this is really how Blake hits bingo, I feel so sorry for whoever he’s normally sharing that moment with because the man sounds possessed! I never want to hear that again. Shudder.
The last task is to eat a whole habanero pepper and fake propose to Tay. Bennet cracks me up because it’s during this dare that he realizes he actually has real feelings for someone other than himself and the boy is shooketh!
Tay arrives to the after party looking so pretty. Her stylist is doing right by her and I am here for it! Bennet seems so rose driven to me, even with these newfound feelings. Hmmmm. The guys are all supposed to be revealing truths tonight but nothing major comes out except that Bennet was engaged once before. And there’s not much talking between Zac and Tay as they are making out feverishly in the hot tub. I’m shocked she didn’t end up pregnant!!!
Later that night, like 2:30 am later, both Ed and Ben decide independently that they are going to surprise Tay in her room. Ed knocks on the door and it’s CHs room! He then asks if Tayshia is there! Bahahaha!!!! No Ed, the budget isn’t THAT tight. They gave Tay her own room! CH invites Ed in for wine and it’s so awkward! I’m dying!!!!
Meanwhile, Ben successfully makes it to Tay’s suite and offers up an apology for not stepping up to talk with her on his group date. He’s ordered champagne and strawberries and Tay accepts his apology. Is it just me or does Ben seem to have lots of free space in his mouth? It’s like a gaping chasm! A black hole! Anyway, Tay appreciates the gesture so I guess that’s what matters.
The next night at the Cocktail Party Tay looks stunning in a high necked, long beaded white gown. It looks embossed to in some way, if that makes sense. Anyway, Ben steals her away first. Then Noah sits down to talk to her and he’s looking so cute sans pornstache! UNTIL….DUN DUN DUN!!! He turns into a pot stirrer right before our eyes! Noah goes and tells Tay that the guys in the house are questioning her intentions and integrity, saying that she only gave Noah a rose to stir up drama in the house. WHOA. This doesn’t sit well with Tay, natch, who marches back to the group and gives them all the what for. And the thing is, they didn’t deserve it! But she doesn’t know that. Tay cancels the rest of the cocktail party and the guys are seriously puzzled and pissed! Only 2 guys got time with her tonight. The guys quickly figure out that Noah was the last guy with her and Noah tells them he told Tay that the guys all said she only gave him the rose for show. The guys are LIVID. Bennet says I’m here for love, not to be breastfeeding Noah. Ha!
Ed looks like your grumpy drunk cousin standing there. Ugh. I’m so over him. But miraculously he gets the final rose of the night! Going home: sweet Joe, cringey Kenny, creepy Chasen, and forgettable Jordan.
Until next week my Bbs!!! Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!!! 🌹
Week 6! A v dangerous episode!!! We start with a group date right off the bat. Tay looks so cute! Whoever is styling her is doing a good job so far. I have to admit I’m curious to see each week what the ABC producers can come up with for dates while confined to this resort. This week the producers are all clearly drunk and/or out of ideas because we are presented with The Grown Ass Man Challenge. WHERE IS MY COCKTAIL??? I must start drinking while watching this show!!!
So Bennet is bragging nonstop about how he went to Harvard and how intelligent he is and yet the man can’t spell limousine! Yes, my BBs, we are forced to watch the guys go through some basic spelling and math problems to prove they are Grown Ass Men. Bennet doesn’t get a single question right, much to the delight of the other guys.
Then we move on to feats of strength where the guys have to play a knockoff version of Ellen’s Aw, Snap game (my favorite!). Basically 2 men are leashed to each other with a bungee and have to race to grab a bouquet of flowers at opposite ends of the room. So fun to watch! But Bennet bows out, claiming an old football injury. Yeah, right….
Next up is a Breakfast in Bed challenge where the guys have to make Tay breakfast and serve it to her in bed. Chasen doesn’t even do the bare minimum. He just takes his shirt off and says he’s the entree. GAG. Bennet, however, steps up and makes beignets!!! He is dressed in just a robe and gets in bed with Tay and feeds her. Apparently this is enough for the judges (Ashley I and Jared -who really needs to wash and cut his hair. I mean, I know Covid has been rough on all of us but ABC couldn’t spare a stylist for 5 minutes??). I digress. Bennet wins the challenge and Ed loses. As punishment Ed has to carry a baby doll around for the rest of the night.
Bennet arrives still in his robe. Tay comes out and sits down with the group and before she can get a word out, Bennet tries to steal her away for a chat. Tay says can I at least say hi to everyone? The groups toasts then Chasen (with his creepy mouth- there’s just something about it) swoops in and takes Tay away to chat.
While Chasen is gone the other guys talk about how they don’t like him. Mainly Ed & Bennet. They think he’s a fake and a phony. As the night goes on, Tay’s having a great time chatting and making out with the guys. But Ed & Chasen’s beef is heating up. Chasen starts calling himself Wolverine, and eventually gets in Ed’s face. Ivan gets the rose.
OMG Chasen SHUT UP about your inner Wolverine!!! I swear between hearing Grown Ass Man and Wolverine thrown around at the rate of 30 times a minute I’m about to poke out my ear drums!!!
The next night is the pre- rose ceremony Cocktail Party. Chasen begins the night by arguing with Ed some more and telling all the guys that Tay is a SMOKE SHOW. Keeping it Klassy! Ben grabs Tayshia to chat first and things are going well with all the guys until Ed brings up Chasen to Tay. Come on Ed! Don’t you watch the show?? The snitch never stays!!! Tay sits Chasen down for a talk and then Chasen actually goes to apologize (sort of) to Ed but Ed escalates it and then they are shouting and other guys have to break it up.
Chasen can’t stop won’t stop calling Tay a smoke show and my ears are bleeding. WHO told this guy that women like that term?? Ed & Chasen get the last 2 roses. UGH. Going home- 3 guys I had no idea were even on this show! Montel, Peter, and Jay. Bye guys! We hardly knew ye!
The next day is another group date. It’s a wrestling match in the dank basement of the hotel and OF COURSE Ed and Chasen are on the date. The guys all warm up and loosely learn some wrestling moves then are told they’ll be wrestling in front of a live audience tonight.
Tonight comes and it turns out the live audience is comprised of the other guys in the house who are not on the date and the camera crew. Chris Harrison and Wells Adams (💗💗💗) are calling the match. Tay oils all the guys up and we start out with Joe vs Eazy. OMG! Why are they wanting to kill Joe??? He seems nice enough!!! Eazy is built like a mack truck, or as CH would say “a brick outhouse” and Joe is…not. All the guys wrestling are going HARD. This is supposed to be fun guys! But there are guys being slammed on the ground and knees being skinned and there’s blood! Medic! Next up is Chasen vs Ed and before the match can start Ed goes to CH and cries about his tricky shoulders so he can bow out of the match. Now there’s no one to wrestle Chasen. Chris asks if anyone wants to wrestle Chasen and all of a sudden Porn Stache Noah jumps the fence and volunteers. Noah wasn’t even ON THE DATE!!! They wrestle and Chasen wins and somehow wins the entire event. Tay invites Noah to the after party. The other guys on the date are livid that Noah has crashed their date!
Noah grabs Tay first, natch, while the other guys stew. Tay tells Noah she wants to shave that stache! YAY!!!! I’ve never loved Tay more. She chats with the other guys one by one then as she’s with Justin (??? I think, who knows??) Noah comes back and interrupts. Tay shaves his pornstache right off and you know what? The kid is cute!!! Now that that horrid thing is off his face I’m kinda digging him!!! Ok, not really.
Tayshia goes back and sits down with the group and Ben asks to go talk. Tay says the night’s over and you should have come for me earlier. Then she gives Noah the group date rose. The other guys are BUMMED!!!
The episode starts with all the guys gathered, waiting to meet the Mystery Bachelorette. In walks Tayshia and jaws literally drop. Tay introduces herself and speaks to just about every guy one on one until Chris Harrison appears and pulls her away. Turns out there’s a limo with some men in it waiting to meet Tayshia! I like that ABC is throwing some fresh meat into the mix so it’s not ALL Clare’s leftovers, although the original 16 aren’t as happy as I am with this arrangement.
Out of the limo steps Spencer, 30, Water Treatment Engineer and he is CUTE. Tay thinks so too.
Noah, 25, Registered Travel Nurse. Noah comes with a JANKY pornstache. Bleh!
All the new guys go inside and Tay joins the group and starts chatting them all up again. At the end of the night Tay gives Spencer the 1st impression rose and a kiss.
CH comes in, signaling that it’s time for the Rose Ceremony, but Tay cancels it and does not send anyone home.
Then ABC shows us a preview of the season, then cuts to CH in a studio. It’s time to talk to Clare & Dale. Clare comes out first and I don’t hate her dress. She tells CH it was love at first sight for her with Dale. Dale joins Clare on the sofa and they seem really in love, which is a ding dang miracle considering they spent like 2 hours together before they got engaged! But I follow Dale on the Gram and Clare’s constantly in his posts so I guess it’s the real thing. Mazel! CH asks them one more time did they communicate in any way before the show and they swear they did not.
Back to Tay and the boys.
All the guys on the group date go out to the pool and Tayshia rises from the depths in a hot little bikini. They guys all start drooling on cue. They all frolic in the pool for a bit then CH tells them it’s not a pool party, but a competition. Splashball to be exact, which is apparently basketball in a pool. The team that wins the game gets a Barbeque with Tay. The guys all change into their tiny speedos and the game begins. It gets a little dramatic when Riley elbows Spencer in the mouth and Spence is bleeding like a fountain. He handles it well and Tay comes to check on him. Riley, don’t you know it’s the injured that gets the attention? Not the injurer? The Blue team wins the bbq but ABC doesn’t show us any of it.
All the group date guys are invited back for the after party. Eazy tells Tay he feels like he’s met his wife!!!
Tay kisses Zach and my head spins. I can not figure out her taste in men!!! Meanwhile the group date guys are ganging up on Spencer telling him he’s a d!ck. Eazy ends up getting the group date rose. I guess coming on strong is the way to go!
Later, Jason decides to leave as he still has feelings for Clare! I guess that Psych 101 date he had with Clare did a number on his head…and heart.
The next day is Brendan’s 1-1 and I honestly don’t even remember this dude at all. Tayshia rides up to the group on a horse looking cute in a cowboy hat. She and Brendan ride the horses around the resort and CH keeps popping out of the shadows with coconuts & margaritas etc JUST as Brendan’s about to try and kiss Tay. It’s a riot! After the horse ride they go swimming and Brendan finally gets his kiss.
Brendan tells Tay he was married before at a young age. He was so nervous to tell Tay, but Tay says she was married at a young age too. Brendan is boring me to tears but for some reason Tay likes him and gives him the rose. They then go and make out while fireworks are going off. Tay really likes him. Lucky man.
Noah is trimming up his janky pornstache while Bennet and Ed rip on Noah and his stache. It’s pretty funny!
And that is all for this week! Until next time BBs.
Week 4 is finally here. The week the 💩 hits the fan! Let’s go!
This episode starts out with all the guys who aren’t Dale complaining about Dale and Clare. Clare’s busy doodling Dale + Clare 4 ever in her journal when Chris Harrison arrives. CH tells Clare the guys are unhappy. Clare tells Chris she’s head over heels for Dale. When CH asks, Clare swears on her dad’s grave that she and Dale never communicated before the show. She just ogled his IG account on the daily.
Clare cancels the cocktail party AND rose ceremony tonight and this doesn’t sit well with the guys. CH pulls Dale aside and informs him he gets to have a date with Clare while the other guys just stew in their premature emotions. Clare appears later tonight in the tackiest red dress I’ve ever seen. It was clearly created in the HOUSE OF SIN. Dale arrives in a suit and daggggggummmm he wears it well. He looks so good I totally understand why Clare would break all the rules to hang with this tall drink of water. Whew. Got a lil thirsty there!
At Fake Dinner C&D talk about their parents and how both of their dads were hitch hikers! Now that’s a solid foundation for marriage if I’ve ever seen one! Clare tells Dale she’s falling in love with him and he says the same. They walk over to these musicians and it’s Chris and Bri from Listen to Your Heart. Wow. Their careers are skyrocketing!!! C&D make out for a hot minute in from of Chris and Bri and then high tail it to Clare’s room where you can imagine what happens next. BOOM. 💥
The next morning they wake up in bed with the dress of sin lying crumpled on the floor. They have some pillow talk and then Dale leaves Clare’s room. He thinks there’s still plenty of time left in this process. Poor kid. CH comes over to see Clare and tells her the proposal is TONIGHT. Ummmm, that’s great and all but don’t you think someone should inform Dale???
All the other guys gather in the house and Clare arrives. Without CH in tow. CH is clearly somewhere sipping a martini because he’s worked harder this episode than he has all season! Clare then tells the guys it’s Dale she wants and that’s it. Kenny then tells Clare to apologize to the group. DUDE. You just spent like 3 weeks in a luxury resort, got on tv, and some of you got to make out with Clare. Clare owes you NOTHING Kenny. But, Clare apologizes for wasting their time. The guys all give her hugs and she leaves. Clare goes and cries to a couple producers about how hard that was. Meanwhile, all the guys are v v skeptical about Dale’s emotional involvement.
Back in Dale’s room, where’s he’s been isolated all day, he thinks he still has all the time in the world to just hang with Clare, no labels. Just then, CH appears and tells Dale Clare broke up with all the other guys. CH says Clare’s waiting for a proposal and Dale visibly goes into shock and poops his pants.
CH then goes to check on Clare, who’s crying because she’s worried she’s more into this whole thing than Dale is. Cut to Dale holding a ring box with a look of abject shock and awe on his face.
That night Clare’s dressed in a white dress. Is this woman going to force a wedding tonight too??? Clare takes her place by the final rose. Next thing you know, CH walks up to her. Clare’s face drops when CH says he has something to tell her. My heart skips a beat. CH says “We’re all so proud of you”. DAMMIT CH you just about gave us all heart attacks! You KNOW that was his revenge because he’s had to work so hard this week for that paycheck! CH then goes to get Dale, who clearly has Stockholm Syndrome. Are you ready? Dale- Uhhhh.
But then, here comes Dale through the door and he is WEARING that suit. Hell, I’d say yes!!! Clare gives a little speech about how perfect he is and then it’s Dale’s turn. He says a few really sweet things and then SWEET KELLY CLARKSON he gets down on one knee! He’s doing it!!! And I don’t see a gun to his head! He proposes with a hefty ring and of course Clare says yes! Clare- I felt it. Dale- I accepted it. Me- I really should be drinking wine while watching all this.
Dale picks Clare up after accepting the final rose and the walk off into the night.
The leftovers, um, I mean the remaining men, are all packing up and sulking. CH arrives and fills the guys in on the engagement, then tells them they have until tonight to decide if they want to continue their journeys or go home. Can you forget all about a woman you’ve known for 2 weeks in the next 7 hours??
There are 16 guys left and they all decide to stay. Even Jason, who is still in shock over his therapy date with Clare, and Blake, who acts like he and Clare dated for years instead of just 2 hours. The guys all gather and CH tells him their new Bachelorette is on her way now. Tayshia arrives looking beautiful in a questionable dress. Who told her olive green was appropriate for evening wear?? Just as she’s walking through the door, the episode ends!