Bachelor Finale Part 2

FINALLY! Chris Harrison has been promising the most dramatic finale ever and finally ABC delivers! Well, sort of. But we’ll get to that. Now, settle in BBs because we have a LOT to unpack and this is a long one!

We pick back up in Australia where Peter is down to ONE lady vying for his heart. Madison self eliminated last night, so he has Hannah Ann left. BUT HA doesn’t know that Madi is gone! That’s quite the information to keep under wraps there, Pachi!

But before we get to HA & P, back in the live studio audience, Chris Harrison points out that Kelley is in the audience tonight! WHAT??? ABC are you punking me? Because first you don’t invite Kell to the Women Tell All, then you let her come to this? And what about the rumor going around that Kell and P end up together?? I’m so confused rn.

Back to Australia. HA is dressed in what can only be described as the ranch dressing of formal gowns. It’s so boring and beige and I thought it was part of a bridal lingerie set. Odd choice there, HA. Just before she’s supposed to go get engaged, HA collapses on her bed and declares herself emotionally drained.

Meanwhile P is pacing around in the desert in a full suit trying not to become a sweaty mess. CH appears and tells P that HA might not be coming. WHAT?!? Now this, this is the drama I signed up for! Bravo ABC! But really, is anyone surprised?? I mean HA IS only 12 years old. At that tender age I could barely commit to a choose your own adventure book, much less a full grown man! Next thing you know, CH tells P that HA is coming after all and I immediately suspect they only told P she wasn’t coming to spice up this dumpster fire of a proposal. Tell me I’m wrong!

Whoever told HA to wear strappy stiletto sandals to the DESERT needs to be shot! No one wants their heels sinking into the sand OR dusty toes! No one!!! HA hobbles through the sand and down the wooden boardwalk to get to P and I’ve never felt so sorry for her. Until 2 minutes later when P starts out his proposal speech to Hannah Ann by saying Madison’s name. OUCH. How romantic!!! P fumbles and bumbles through his little speech and he looks THRILLED to be proposing to his Plan B. Ahh, young love! You can tell HA was fully prepared to be dumped for Madi because it takes her a minute to grasp that this boring dolt is actually asking her to marry him. The ring is gorgeous though, so there’s that.

Back in LA, P stops by to tell his family about his proposal. He hems and haws and beats around the bush until finally Barb breathlessly asks “Who is it??” and y’all. Believe me when I tell you that this woman is WAY to invested in her son’s love life because her shrieks could be heard ’round the world!!!

A month later P & HA reunite in LA and it’s the first time they’ve been together since Australia. P answers the door and greets her and they settle in on the sofa and he looks about as excited as he’d be if he was about to get a root canal. What’s up P? P then tells HA he isn’t sure if he still loves her. Uh oh. HA- I would stand by you even if it kills me. Well, HA, be careful what you wish for cause things aren’t looking too good for you right now. And yep, P is actually breaking up with HA rn. But she is. not. having. it!!! HA- You took away my first engagement!!! Love that she says “first”. It’s like how I refer to CSP as my “first” husband. Let him have it HA!!!

BTW, the camera keeps showing Barb’s face while she’s watching all this from the LA audience and this is pure gold. Give that camera man a raise because not all heroes wear capes, BBs.

Back to HA & P- things are getting heated because HA has moved from shock to anger. HA- I said yes and I get this?!? And she waves the ring in his pitiful face!!! What a time to be alive! HA throws the ring at him and Barb CLAPS!!! I’ve never seen a man publicly disowned by his family on live tv and I am here for it!!!

HA decides to leave and for some strange reason they HOLD HANDS on the way to her waiting car. But when she gets in and he’s trying to talk to her she puts her hand up and tells him to LEAVE. I’ve never felt more alive!!! Who knew HA had all this fire inside of her?? I love it!!! Ok, sidebar. WHAT is going on with P’s pants? Why is he rolling up his jeans so high and wearing hiking boots? He looks like a hipster woodland elf!!!

Back in LA at the live viewing, CH brings HA out to confront P for the first time since the breakup. HA looks fierce and follows it up with words to match. P breathes and HA comes for him. The audience is totally on her side too. Not to mention, Barb! Way to go HA! I have to say that up until this finale I had hoped things would work out for P. He’s cute and harmless and nice enough but to withhold the information that HA was literally the last woman standing and his plan B, then to propose to her anyway??? That’s just gross, P. HA was right, there were 3 women involved in their engagement. Four if you count Barb!

CH gives HA the final word and boy is it a zinger! HA tells P if he wants to be with a woman he needs to be a real man first and I am DECEASED!!! If people still said “You go girl” I would have been yelling that at the tv! But they don’t, so please stop saying that. Srsly.

Now that P has been skewered on national television, CH tells P he has another surprise for him. P looks like he’s an inch from literally dying in front of us. I’ve not seen a man so emotionally battered like this. CH says he went to Auburn, AL to visit Spider Eyes Madison a few weeks ago. On the screen, we see CH visit Madi in her home. CH- P got engaged. LONG PAUSE. CH- but he’s single now! Dang, but CH lives for the drama! Madi says she made a mistake and would do things differently now. This gets her an epic eye roll from Barb in the audience. Seriously, an Oscar to this camera man!!! CH tells Madi it’s P’s dream to be engaged to her. That’s a biiiiit of a stretch but ok, CH. You do you. It doesn’t take any arm twisting to get Madi to hop a plane to LA. I don’t quite understand how being engaged to another woman is ok but having sex in the Fantasy Suite is practically a deal breaker to Madi, but whatever, I just work here.

Next we see a forlorn P staring into a swimming pool while Madi walks up to him. He’s genuinely shocked to see her. Back to the live portion, CH asks P if he still loves Madi. P- yeah. WOW knock me over with a feather! He’s soooo romantic. All these yeahs! Ugh.

Madi comes out onstage and we see Barb mouth “I can’t” to her porn stache wearing husband. Barb was sent from TV ratings heaven I tell you. Ok so wait. Madi and P haven’t seen each other since the poolside chat? What?? So weird. CH asks what’s the next step for P and Madi and P shoots a look at his mommy before answering. Cut the strings P!

CH gives Barb the floor and she starts out by saying she’s getting a LOT of love in her DMs. Hmmm. Then Barb spills some tea. Apparently a lot went on that ABC didn’t show on the day Madi came to meet the fam in Australia. Madi allegedly mad the family wait THREE HOURS before coming in the house to meet them. And when she finally did come in, Madi then told Barb she wouldn’t marry her son. WOW. Don’t hold back Barb!

Ok, so my thoughts on this. You KNOW production played a huge role in the 3 hour delay. I just can’t believe that Madi sat outside in the hot Australian sun slut shaming P for 3 whole hours. Especially while wearing that black turtleneck. It was sleeveless, but still. Also, we all know that I think Madi was in the wrong for manipulating P with the whole Fantasy Suite ultimatum. While I applaud her faith and values and standing up for them, she used her virginity to try and get her way, then left the show when things didn’t work out in her favor. Barb is quite the piece of work, but she could see what Madi was dishing out.

As I’ve said, this would never work between Madi and P. Barb HATES Madi. You can feel the daggers Barb is shooting from her eyes in Madi’s direction. You have to stand up for your wife and P looks like he’s about to burst into tears tonight being caught in the middle of his girlfriend and his mommy. There’s no way he could do this for the rest of his ding dang life!

CH tries to wrap things up but Barb can’t stop, won’t stop putting Madi down from the audience. CH- Well, you two will figure things out, right Mom? Barb- You have to fail to succeed! NO. SHE. DIDN’T. I haven’t heard a room full of people gasp like that since my wedding reception when my FIL toasted us by saying “You spend your whole life looking for the perfect person to love. In the meantime you get married.” Yeah. That happened. Don’t be jealous.

Back to ABC & the Bachelor hijinks…. Ok so to wrap up, Barb is completely unhinged. SHE’S THE MOM. It’s not her job to judge and openly hate P’s love. It’s her job to support her son. She can hate Madi all the livelong day but she should never let that show. I applaud Madi for saying “I love and respect P so I love and respect his family and you’ll never hear a negative word about them come out of my mouth.” That, Barb, is how you do it. I give Spider Eyes Madi and P a month before they implode. Speaking of… there’s no proposal on stage, no evidence even that they are dating. Way to leave us hanging ABC!

That’s a wrap on P & Madi. CH brings Clare out to promote her run as the new Bachelorette for a solid 90 seconds. They show a clip of her from her time on Juan Pablo’s season and it’s clear as day that she’s had a slew of plastic surgery. New nose, cheeks, eyes, chin, the works! I remember her from all her Bachelor appearances (Paradise, Winter Games, etc) and she is a hot mess. Can’t wait for her season to start! See you then BBs!!! xo ๐ŸŒน

Bachelor Week 9

Fantasy Suites Week!

We start this week back at the airplane hangar where Madison is about to tell Peter she’s saving herself for marriage. Except she doesn’t!!! Instead, Madi tells P that if he has sex with anyone else on the show she’s out! P’s all like WAIT, WHAT?? She says sex is super important to her and her faith and all but she’s leaving out the most important part!!! UGH. BTW, Peter’s scar looks terrible. I’m getting a strong Harry Potter gone wrong vibe.

The gang heads to Gold Coast, Australia and I hope ABC made a HUGE donation to the wildfire relief efforts in Australia. Don’t film all these koala and kangaroos if you’re not going to chip in for their rescue efforts! Ok, getting off my soapbox now.

Madi gets to the hotel suite first, then Hannah Ann, and Victoria arrive separately. So wait, ABC is putting all the ladies in the same suite on FS week? That’s just soo mean! Can you imagine the awkward conversations they’ll be having post sex with THE SAME DUDE??? P arrives and he looks miserable. Probably trying to decide what to do with that info Madi layed down at the hangar.

HA gets the first date and they go jet skiing then chill on the beach. HA keeps telling P she’s really ok with him having sex with the other girls and it’s starting to get weird. HA: “I like totally like understand and like I have like patience for this like journey” KILL ME NOW.

That night at Fake Dinner HA brings up her “understanding” again! Ok we get it! HA reads the FS note and is all “Oh Chris Harrison! What a lil devil!” like she hasn’t been watching this show her whole life. They go up to the hotel suite and honestly, HA seems more excited about the hot tub than making out with P. Hey, at least you’re first in line! They make out errrywhere in the suite and recreate that foggy Titanic scene with the bathroom door.

The next morning I’m expecting to see P & HA wake up together but instead we are treated to HA’s return to the girls’ suite and the AWKWARD convo that follows. OMG! You look so skinny, girl! No, YOU look so cute! #vomit And the whole time Madi is sitting there with gritted teeth trying to smile.

Victoria’s date is next and she and P tour Gold Coast by helicopter then go hiking to a waterfall. As they are talking Vic says “We haven’t even fought today…yet” and P keeps talking about the “fight” they have in them and how they are fighting for their relationship and I think ol Pachi’s head wound is worse than we could have imagined because fighting for a relationship and a relationship that ONLY consists of fighting are 2 v v different things.

At Fake Dinner P is trying to deep dive into Vic’s feelings without actually asking why she’s such an alleged homewrecker. And then here we go, Vic starts up with the I donโ€™t know’s and the attitude and how she’s struggling and really trying here. Good LORT but I hate her so much!!! Every sentence ends on a high note like she’s constantly asking questions. Somehow she and P end up in their suite and next thing we know it’s morning and they are snuggled in the bed. Vic says she’s in love with P. WHY is he so into Vic?? He tells the camera he’s in love with all 3 and I die a little on the inside.

Vic goes back to the girls’ suite for more awkward convo. I find it interesting that at different points in this show they all wear cross necklaces. I mean, WWJD and all?

We finally get to Madi’s date. She and P suit up in harnesses and ascend by elevator to the 90th story or something of the tallest building in Gold Coast. Then they climb another few stories in the whipping wind outside of the building. The views are amazing but HELL NO would I ever!

That night at Fake Dinner Madi FINALLY tells P she’s saving herself for marriage and he visibly gulps. She then says she can’t say yes to a proposal if he’s had sex with anyone else this week and then 6 days later drops to one knee for her. P tells her that indeed, he has been intimate. But he doesn’t say if it’s with Vic (duh, of course it was) or HA, or both.

Ok so here’s the thing. In the real world, OF COURSE you wouldn’t want to know that your fiance had sex with another woman or two just last week and he’s proposing right now. That’s just gross. And ideally if you told your boyfriend that it’s super important that he keeps it in his pants this week, then he would. He would NOT have sex with the others if he really wants to be with Madi. But this isn’t the real world. This is the Bachelor. This is all about bikinis and making out and how close to soft porn ABC can get to show on the air during Prime Time. While I applaud Madi for sticking to her guns and her faith, she knew what she was signing up for. She HAD to have seen the show, right? She keeps saying “I don’t want to change” and she shouldn’t have to. But she can’t expect P to stay faithful to her on Fantasy Suite week without giving him all the pertinent information. It’s just not fair. You know that he’s been wanting to have sex with all three of them all season long! I personally think it’s gross that Fantasy Suite dates aren’t spread out over the course of a couple of weeks at the very least. But I’m not a producer for this den of inequity! Ha!

Ok, back to Madi and P’s Fake Dinner. Madi gets up from the table and walks outside to cry. P’s crying at the table then he goes after her. There’s a bunch of forehead kissing and P apologizing and begging Madi not to leave. Then she walks away from him. Is she going home? We won’t know until next week BBs!!! xo ๐ŸŒน

Bachelor Week 8

Week 8 is Hometowns! One of my favorite weeks each season because we get to see where all these crazies came from! The episode starts with a little video diary chat from Peter and BOY does he look tired!

Our first stop is Hannah Ann’s hometown of Knoxville. HA decides she’s gonna toughen up Peter to impress her manly man of a dad, so she takes P axe throwing! Who else sees another head injury in P’s future??? After an embarrassing attempt at some axe throwing, P pulls out a list he made of all the things he loves about HA. It’s not pink like her list was, but it’s pretty lengthy! HA gushes appropriately and we move on to the night portion of the date.

When P is there at HA’s house making small talk with the fam, Dad is stone cold silent. Not cracking a smile, not saying a word! He’s a tough one! P & Dad sit down to talk & P says he is going to tell HA that he’s falling in love with her. Dad- please just don’t. Hahahahaha!!! P looks concerned for a hot minute but as soon as the night is coming to an end and he and HA are sitting outside on a bench, P tells HA that he’s falling in love with her. Guess Dad didn’t scare P enough! HA tells P that she loves him. I believe she does but she is SO not ready for marriage! Doesn’t she still live there at home? I bet her bedroom is still pink for goodness sake!

Next up is Kelsey in Des Moines, Iowa. The wine capital of the USA!!! Kelsey takes P to a winery and that’s a BIT on the nose if you ask me. I’m not shocked in the least that their date revolves around alcohol! Mix it up a bit Kels! The two of them hop in a bin and stomp grapes to make their own wine (GROSS. I’m not drinking foot wine!!!) Then they have a wine tasting and put together the bottle of wine to take home. They are talking after and Kels tells P she’s in love with him. P responds with “That makes me really happy. Thank you.” and I know in that instant that Kels and P’s love affair is not long for this world.

That night P meets Kelsey’s family and man alive are these people BLONDE?!?! And they all seem to get the same nose job once they hit 18 years of age. Mom is super skeptical of P and the whole process. But really, show me one set of parents who isn’t skeptical!

Madison’s hometown is next so we’re in Auburn, Alabama. Mad and P meet up at Auburn University basketball arena. All of the electric display boards are lit up with their names and Charles Barkley even has a recorded message for P- treat her right! Mad and P run through some basketball drills and she’s really good. Way better than P!

That night at Fake Dinner with the Family, Madison gets the Special Plate. It’s this sweet tradition where one person in the family gets the special plate for dinner and everyone else has to say what makes them special. Mom and Mad talk and we learn that Mad is saving herself for marriage. AND P doesn’t know. Hmmm. Since this dude is basically famous for fornicating four times in a windmill…I’d say this may pose a problem soon.

P talks with Dad (who looks like a kid with old dude makeup on and is named CHAD). Chad asks P “Do you KNOW” if you’re in love with my daughter? P says he can’t answer that right now. Yikes. But then, not 10 minutes later P is telling Mad he’s falling in love with her!!! THEN he tells the camera I LOVE MADISON. That’s big news peeps.

We finally get to Train Wreck, USA. Also known as Victoria’s hometown. Nothing against Virginia Beach, VA but I am just so DONE with Vic. Anyway, Dumpster Fire, I mean, Vic, takes P to dress up and get Old Timey photos done. Then they go to a bar/restaurant where ANOTHER one of Vic’s exes is playing. I kid. It’s Hunter Hayes. But you know P was thinking it the whole time! The song Hunter is singing says something about I don’t want easy I want crazy and it’s as if he wrote it just for Vic & P.

At the end of their day date they say goodbye and go their separate ways. But then a woman calls out to Peter and it turns out she used to date P back in the day. AND she knows Vic. ABC is blurring her face while she’s talking for some reason. She won’t say much, just warns P to be careful and he deserves better than Vic and that Vic is responsible for breaking up a lot of relationships. Oooooh. Well, this doesn’t sit well with P. After a bit of Googling, your very own Shanny P.I. found out that Vic is infamous in Virginia Beach for breaking up marriages. ALLEGEDLY. AND she has been arrested for DWI and has 13 (!!!) traffic violations! NOT allegedly!!! For real!!! DUDE. No one needs to let her behind the wheel of a car ever again!

So that night P gets out of the car at Family of Vic’s house and Vic instantly smells the trouble brewing and starts asking him what’s wrong. They sit down to talk and he tells her what Marissa said earlier at the restaurant. Vic INSTANTLY starts whining and crying and says I don’t want to do this and gives P HUGE attitude and is super combative. All while he’s just trying to talk. AND she never denies it. She just asks “which relationships have I broken up?”. GUILTY. Allegedly I mean. I don’t want to get sued. But I gots to reports the news here. So Vic gets up and walks away from P. They meet back up in the street for a minute and she’s crying still and still giving major attitude. They hug and HE LEAVES!!! He doesn’t even go inside to meet the parents!

The next day Vic shows up at P’s hotel and apologizes, cries, yet never denies the charges. Hmmm. Vic tells P I just can’t walk away from you. P’s like, but you kinda do, like all the time. Bahahaha!!! Vic apologizes again and leaves.

Back in LA we’re in yet another airplane hangar, because ABC isn’t finished pushing the point that Pilot Pete is a pilot who pilots planes! UGH for the love of all that’s good and holy….we get it!!!!

Vic is showing off the boobs tonight in a plunging V. Holy smokes but I hate her vocal fry. Chris Harrison says hello to her and she responds with HIIIIIEEEEE and my ears bleed.

Rose Ceremony~

Hannah Ann gets the first rose. Then Madison. Then….Vic!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN???? OR are the producers forcing him to keep her around?? Ugh. So Kels is going home and P can’t even give her a good reason! Side note- it’s nice to see P in a blue suit with black shoes. Most of the time I see men wearing blue suits with brown shoes and that is just not a good look guys.

So we think the episode is over because P says goodbye to the women but then Madison calls after P and says she needs to talk with him. Dum dum dummmmmm.

And that’s the end my BBs! Next week- Fantasy Suites in Australia! xo ๐ŸŒน

Bachelor Week 7

Week 7 is in Lima, Peru. There are 6 girls left. P still has what looks like a flesh colored papier mache project stuck to his forehead. Next week is Hometowns. Let’s dive in!

Before we get to the dates, P visits the remaining girls in their suite to tell them, once again, that he’s serious about all this and that they should be too. They have a champagne toast then P goes back to his room to FaceTime with his mom. His mom calls him Pachi!!!! OMG! I’m dying over this!!!

Madison’s 1-1~

P shows up to Madi’s date and he doesn’t have the bandage on his head anymore. He points this out to Madi and tells her they are going fishing. Madi is a stronger woman than I because at the mere mention of fishing I’d be out like trout.

They fish for about 30 seconds before spending the rest of the date making out on the boat. That night at Fake Dinner Madi says she has something to talk to P about. Turns out she’s really religious and so is her dad. Then GIRL. What are you doing on this show??? Have you not heard of the Fantasy Suites? What will Daddy and the Good Lord think then??? Ay Pachi, she’s in a pickle! P responds that he’s religious too, but his faith could be stronger. Basically he’s Christian Lite. P then tells Madi he’s falling in love with her and gives her the rose.

Natasha’s 1-1~

Natasha and P spend the day exploring the city and frankly I’m bored. There is ZERO romantic chemistry between them and I think the only reason she’s made it this far is because he’s terrified of her. My suspicions are validated at Fake Dinner when P talks about how bold and honest Nat is but doesn’t give her the rose. Girl you deserve better. Natasha leaves with her head held high.

Kelsey’s 1-1~

Kels gets another 1-1 and this time they go riding ATVs and race each other up a hill on foot. I’m seriously worried a medic will need to be called in when they get to the top of the hill. Peter hasn’t breathed this heavily since he was in that Windmill! At Fake Dinner Kels talks about her dysfunctional family and I finally feel like I can relate to her a bit since she’s not cursing someone out or crying over spilt champagne.

Kels gets the rose so we’re going to Iowa next week!

Instead of a Rose Ceremony, this week we are treated to a 3 on 1 date. Kelley is SUPER confident Pachi will keep her for Hometowns and send either Hannah Ann (the child) or Victoria (the hot mess) home. And at this point, while I’m not crazy about Kelley’s showboating here, I have to agree with her.

HA & P go off to talk first. HA pulls out this list of reasons why she likes P and I’m instantly transported back to 8th grade. The pink paper! The Is dotted with hearts. HEARTS!!! You just know she’s been practicing signing her name as HA Weber. Geez, the girl IS a child!

Kelley & P talk next and he’s looking at her with such a flat expression. Uh oh, Kell, things aren’t looking so good for you. She mentions that she’s been having fun again and P doesn’t like that. Kell- have you not seen the show? You should be weeping right now and declaring your love for a guy you’ve spent 45 minutes with total! Not making level headed points and having reasonable conversation!

Victoria & P talk last. P says he’s confused still from their last 1-1 and Vic sayd “You really wanna use our time to talk about that?” and “You’re always in a mood” and the next thing you know they are squabbling AGAIN. Look, if you’ve been on 1 date with someone and you’re already arguing? That does not bode well for the future! Vic is, not surprisingly, in tears again.

P picks up a rose and walks Vic to a SUV and just as I think he has ONE brain cell rattling around in that injured noggin, he gives Vic the rose! UGH.

P walks back to HA and Kelley and tells them each what he likes about their relationships. Then he gives HA the remaining rose. This man makes NO sense. HA breaks down sobbing while P walks Kelley to the waiting car.

Kelsey, Victoria, Hannah Ann, and Madison remain. Can’t wait for Hometowns! See you then BBs! ๐ŸŒน

Bachelor Week 4

We begin this episode with Chris Harrison (who knew he was still on this show?? He’s NEVER on air!) announcing to the ladies that they were traveling to…..Cleveland! Yayyyyy!!!!! Said no one! Seriously, they all looked at each other like he’d just said, well, Cleveland. I’m sure Cleveland is a great city but these girls were hoping to get their passports stamped! Clearly there are major budget cuts going on at ABC!

Victoria F gets the 1-1 date. Peter flies her to Cedar Point amusement park amid all her protestations of “I’m afraid of heights!” ABC has rented the park out for just the 2 of them. Then P is so excited because he knows VF loves country music and there’s a private concert with Chase Rice. I didn’t know who Chase Rice is before this episode and some Google diving, but apparently, according to VF- he’s her ex-boyfriend! WHOA!!!! And here’s P saying maybe Chase can sing at their wedding! BAHAHAHA!!! After the concert Chase and P are talking and Chase says he’s from Virginia “like Victoria” but P doesn’t put 2 and 2 together. Then VF goes and talks to Chase. Now she’s acting like they had a RELATIONSHIP but Chase is making it seem like it was a short term thing AT BEST. Turns out after some Googling that they spent 1 night together here in Charlotte. That doesn’t make Chase your ex, VF. That makes him your one night stand!

That night at Fake Dinner VF goes through all this dramatic hemming and hawing then finally tells P about Chase being her ex. P does not get it. He keeps saying things like “the guy on stage?” Get it together P!!! VF runs off crying (if it’s just a one off, why is she crying??) and P chases after her. She gets the rose, natch.

Group Date~

P brings 13 girls to the Browns football stadium to play football for his love. Winners get to go to an after party and losers go home. VP sits out because her back is hurting her (???) but I think it’s just so she can canoodle with P on the sidelines. This is one INTENSE football game. Deandra is throwing chicks to the ground!!! There are some athletes in this group! And then there’s HA who’s getting tossed around like a ragdoll!

The game ends in a tie so they all go to the after party. Tensions are running high because now they have to fight 12 other girls to get time with P. Shiann is talking with P when ALAYAH shows up! In Cleveland!!! How did she know where they are??? Does she have a tracker on P??? So Al interrupts Chiann (who is less than thrilled) and P just sits there stunned. Al tells P she and VP are FRIENDS. Not just 3 hour acquaintances like VP said. And that they went to Vegas together! P asks VP about it and VP starts crying but sticks to her guns.

All 3 of them finally sit down to hash things out but VP will only say “I don’t know what to say” and “my truth is the truth”. WHUT???? P asks Al to come back!!! Does this show not have any rules anymore??? It’s mayhem!!! Then P gives Al the group date rose!!! Al wasn’t even on the date!!! The other girls are pisssssssed!!!!

We break from all that drama for Kelsey’s 1-1 date. They are touring Cleveland. P calls Kels a “down to earth no drama person”. WHAT??? Does he not remember Champagne Gate 2020 from a scant 2 weeks ago??? This man has lost his damn mind.

He’s super into Kels for someone he knows nothing about. That night at Fake Dinner (the On a Boat Edition) Kels tells her sad story. Her parents got divorced. Welcome to the USA Kels! Join the kids of divorce club! P tries to commiserate by telling Kels his grandma and mom immigrated to the US from Cuba. Um…not the same P. Not even close! Kels gets the rose and says “No man has ever accepted me the way he has”. Good LORD men need to do better!!!

Meanwhile, Al has told everyone at the house about VF dating Chase Rice. When Al got sent home she had access to her phone and Google and she scored some serious hot goss.

Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party~

P comes in and welcomes the ladies and goes to ask VP to talk but before he can, Deandra and Natasha put him on blast for bringing Al back and giving her the rose and basically ignoring the rest of them. While I applaud them for standing up for themselves, this is not a good strategic move ladies. Y’all going home the first chance P gets now.

VP is all worked up over being caught lying to P and is letting P have it. So bizarre. Like those people who hurt your feelings then get mad at you when you tell them they hurt your feelings! Also, where did Mykenna get that GINORMOUS pearl barrette?? Are they in style now? Am I missing something? Please advise.

And that’s where the sadists at ABC have left us! We’ll have to wait until next week to find out if the remaining ladies have ripped Peter limb from limb! xo ๐ŸŒน

Bachelor Week 3

We start this week’s episode with Kelsey and Hannah Ann STILL crying over Champagne Gate 2020! Get over it Ladies! HA accidentally opened and drank some of Kelsey’s Idaho champagne and all hell broke loose. All the other girls in the house are sure over it!

1-1 with Victoria P. Peter takes VP to his hometown to a general store where they outfit her in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. They then go line dancing at a country bar.

Back at the house Kels and HA are hashing it out. Tears are a-flowing and it’s scenes like this that show you how blown out of proportion drama can get when you put a bunch of ladies in one house and take away their phones!

Next we move into the evening portion of VP’s 1-1 date. They are having Fake Dinner in an airplane hangar because it’s been a solid 5 minutes since ABC has reminded us that Pilot Peter is in fact a pilot of planes. VP launches into a story right away about her childhood and how her dad died when she was young and her mom battled addiction so they were in and out of homeless shelters and VP had to take care of her sister. I swear it’s like the producers have them sit down then immediately cattle prod the women until they cry and tell their most sad story. Well, the story apparently has a huge impact on ol’ Pilot Pete because he tells VP that she’s inspired him more than anyone else in his life and I’m thinking it’s a bit heavy handed, but hey, that’s ratings for you! Not surprisingly, VP gets the rose. They then make out in a vintage plane and poor VP says it’s one of the best days of her life and I’ve never felt more sorry for her than I do right now. Raise the bar girl!

V v early the next morning, Demi and 2 women come in to the mansion at the crack o’dawn bearing feather pillows. They wake up all the girls in the house and bestow upon the group date girls lingerie that they are to wear to today’s date. Savannah gets a muumuu and Kiarra literally calls her outfit “LINGER REE”. Ugh. Our education system is seriously lacking folks. The girls and P go to a saloon and are forced to pillow fight each other for P’s affection. The championship round is between Alayah and Sydney who, shocker, don’t like each other. Alayah wins a crown and a kiss from P.

Later, during the night portion of the date, Alayah starts talking baby talk to P and I vomit just a bit. She snags P first to chat. After her talk with P, Sydney comes for Al and her “fakeness”. I personally can’t stand a baby talker, unless you’re talking to an actual baby, so I’m Team Syd right now. Although you gotta admit, aren’t ALL the girls in the house a bit fake? I’ve never seen so much silicone, capped teeth and eyelash extensions!!! Anyway, Syd tells P about how fake Al is and he doesn’t quite know how to handle this. So he puts Syd on the spot in front of the whole group and tells her to out whoever is being fake. Peter clearly wants Syd to be killed by a stiletto wielding pageant girl! Syd fesses up and says it’s Al. P gets up and walks away. Al starts crying and goes to P to plead her case, then turns off the tears when back with the group. Sydney gets the rose. I thought the saying went “snitches get stitches” not roses! You know Syd is in for it when she gets home to the mansion!!!

The next day Chris Harrison announces there will be no pre-Rose Ceremony cocktail party because they are going to have a pool party instead! The girls all get ready for the pool party but 2 minutes later P shows up and cancels it! He grabs Syd for a talk. Then he talks to Kelsey who says Alayah puts on a show. Then Natasha says the same and on and on it goes. Meanwhile Al is talk, talk, talking to anyone who will listen about how authentic she is. Methinks she doth protest too much!!!

Al then pulls Syd aside and they fuss at each other. Meanwhile, VP tells P that Al told her to keep it a secret that she and Al knew each other before the show. P then confronts Al who KNOWS she’s screwed and comes up with the most flimsy excuses. You can tell she believes her own bull. P then leaves the mansion.

Rose Ceremony~ Kelsey gets the first rose so clearly P has forgotten all about Champagne Gate 2020. Mykenna is about to burst with anxiety over getting a rose, but she gets the last one. Alayah, Jasmine, Alexa (boooo, I liked her), and Sarah (who??) are all going home.

But wait! P is then shown talking to one of the producers about how he’s second guessing his decision to send Al home. No take backs Pete!

Ok, off to watch week 4! xo ๐ŸŒน

Disney Wonder Southern Caribbean 2020 Day 7

Curacao!

We woke up and had breakfast at Triton’s. Nice and quiet this morning! My toe was still bleeding a little and all bandaged up. And hurting. Same with my left leg. Wait until you see the bruise! We had plans today to do Resort for a Day in Curacao. But with my foot all bandaged up I can’t go in the pool. Whomp whomp. So we decided to stay on the ship today.

After a nap and getting ready for the day we went back to Triton’s for lunch.

Sebastian!
Hidden Mickey in the stained glass at Tritons.

We then went up to deck 10 to take some pictures of Curacao.

We decided when we come back we’ll rent a car like we did in Bonaire to tour Curacao. Such a pretty island!

We hung out around the ship taking pictures

and reading and people watching until it was time to get in line to see Pirate Stitch. Stitch is my favorite character and we’ve never met Pirate Stitch in person.

The line for Stitch stretched all the way around Tritons and down the hall!

He’s a popular alien. He was super cute the way he interacted with us. He made a big deal about how tall CSP is (6 feet 4 inches) and Stitch is MAYBE 5 feet tall. And he gushed over my Stitch lanyard and Stitch pins. SO sweet! Turned us into little kids again!!!

After seeing Stitch we went down to the Crown and Fin pub for Disney trivia.

Man! That was HARD!!! Who knows this stuff?? Some questions were: Where were Walt and Lillian Disney married? Who composed the music for some ride at Disney in Asia? What year did cast members start wearing name tags? WHO KNOWS??? Answers: Idaho, Danny Elfman, and 1970 something. Out of 25 questions I got 7 right! FOR SHAME!!!! I drowned my sorrows in 2 coconut mojitos. Yum!

We then went up to the pool so CSP could swim. I read my book and sipped on a frozen mango margarita. The lady next to me had never had one so she ordered one too. I saw her on the way to the airport to go home and she told me she had like 5 more during the cruise! I’m good for business Disney! Give me some discounts!

Ok so 3 mixed drinks in less than 2 hours made me a wee bit drunk. Just a lil bit. But enough that CSP gave me grief for it! Ha!

CSP bandaging up my toe before dinner.

Dinner tonight was at Palo,

the adults only Italian restaurant onboard. It’s Pirate Night at all the other restaurants.

We’ve done Pirate Night and the menu isn’t our favorite so we always go to Palo on Pirate Night.

Nisha was our server tonight. So cute! She’s from Thailand. Dinner lasted from 8:30 to 11:00pm!!! Crazy!

Dinner starts with an amuse bouche.

CSP chose the cippino (a seafood stew),

antipasta (where they bring the cart around. It’s no longer automatic, you have to order it),

The bread service

and Dover Sole for his dinner.

Nisha filleting the Dover Sole
Sorry for the blur!

I had the calamari (which came with this HUGE shrimp),

the caprese salad,

Sooo yummy!!!

and scallops on artichoke risotto. We both got the Amaretto souffle for dessert and

Nisha also brought us a limoncello tart.

I had some hot tea with dessert.

Everything was amazing! We were there so late we didn’t get to go up on deck to see the fireworks, but we could see most of them through the window.

After dinner we waddled back to our room and hit the hay!

Saw this cool door with lights on the way back to our room.
Not sure what this guy is