pop culture, tv

Bachelorettes Week 3

BBs! I am SHOOK! The men this week hath shooketh me!!! The audacity! But we’ll get to that. It’s week 3 btw.

1-1 Rachel & Zach

We start out with a normal seeming 1-1. A limo picks Zach up and he joins Rachel in Hollywood. They walk into a tent where they see Karamo! Love him! K says that R & Z are going to be attending a movie premier, but first they have to get all glammed up! Z & R seem really excited and Z looks v cute in his tuxedo, but the horrible green/gold lame dress they put Rachel in is a crime against nature!!! R is a gorgeous, gorgeous woman and that dress is tacky beyond belief! Into the limo they go and they are off to the movie theatre. There’s a red carpet and a step and repeat and fake paparazzi calling their names and snapping pics. They go into the theatre and the “movie” is called Me & You and it’s basically a video montage of childhood photos and home videos, plus a message from both of their moms. By the end of it both R & Z are crying and making out and they both seem really into each other. So that’s good! Zach gets the rose.

Meanwhile, Gabby decides to drop by the guys’ house to casually hang with them during Rachel’s date. But none of the guys seem to really care that she’s there! In fact they keep on playing football and stay in their conversation groups while Gabby mills around literally looking for a bit of attention! It’s sad really! So she leaves and can you blame her?? I mean!

1-1 Erich & Gabby

Gabby arrives the next day to pick up Erich for their date and who else walks in?? Grandpa John! Yay!!! The 3 of them go to a yurt and have a sound bath. Then they go bowling and Gabby finds a Grandma to hang with Grandpa John. It’s v cute. She and Erich make out a bit at the bowling alley.

Fake Dinner

It’s just the two of them now and they are talking about their families when G tells E about how she’s estranged from her mom. Now, Gabby is already having a rough week with the failed hang at the guys’ house and she’s starting to wonder if she should even be the Bachelorette. So she breaks down into tears about her mom not loving her (which is totally heartbreaking) and Erich is just sitting there looking at his plate like “Please stop crying. Please stop crying.” G gets up from the table and walks off to collect herself and when she gets back to E, he halfheartedly consoles her. For some reason Gabby gives him the rose.

Group Date

This week’s group date they actually leave the house and there are 19 (!!!) guys on the date. They go to an outdoor photo shoot with G&R where the guys all dress up in silly costumes. There’s a baby costume, Adam (of Adam and Eve), cowboys, little kids, a pregnant man, etc. I don’t know which producer came up with this idea but they need a stern talking to! It is just so lame! BUT everyone seems to have a great time!

Afterparty

The group goes to SoFi stadium to hang out after the photo shoot. One after another, guys are telling Gabby that they are really here for Rachel. But “you’re so fun and such a great girl”. Poor G is in tears. And some of the guys take it too far. Hayden says TO GABBY’S GORGEOUS FACE, that she’s too rough around the edges to be his wife!!! Then Jacob tells G that if it were only Gabby as the Bachelorette, he’d leave. BYE then!!! What total jerks these guys are!

At the end of the night everyone gathers and Rachel gives cutie Aven the Group Date rose. All eyes turn to Gabby and she announces she’s not giving out a rose and to that I say good for you Gabby! Those jackasses don’t deserve your roses!!! Even Rachel is shocked that Gabby doesn’t give out her rose. Afterwards, G fills R in on what went down and R is horrified for G!

Cocktail Party

The next night is the pre- Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party and the guys are all sitting around trying to decide who THEY want to date. They clearly have forgotten that the women are in control here!!! Jesse comes in and tells them all that the party has been canceled. That they are going straight to the Rose Ceremony and that they will be divided into 2 groups from here on out- Gabby’s guys and Rachel’s guys. No more joint group dates AND if they accept a rose tonight they are committing to dating ONLY that woman from here on out.

Rose Ceremony

Everything is going well and normal, well, except the guys with roses are all outside calling themselves the Winners’ Circle (VOMIT). Then Termayne declines his rose from Rachel and says he is here for Gabby. Poor Rachel! To be rejected like that in front of everyone is mortifying! To make matters worse, Jesse walks in and TAKES THE ROSE AWAY saying now Termayne has to get back in line and hope for a rose from G and R loses that rose!!! UGH!!! Then Alec (with the world’s ugliest dangly earring) declines Rachel’s rose. THEN! (you know things always happen in 3s!) Meatball, MEATBALL!!!!!, declines Rachel’s rose! He’s a guy named Meatball and he’s rejecting a goddess??? I tell ya, I’m shook!!!

Going Home: Meatball, Termayne, Alec, and Jacob. Can’t say I’ll be missing any of these losers!!!

So this means Gabby has 9 guys: Michael, Erich, Nate, Johnny, Spencer, Jason, Mario, Kirk, and Quincey. Rachel has 8 left: Tino, Logan, Tyler, Ethan, Jordan, Hayden (WHY???), Aven, and Zach.

During the credits we see Meatball telling producers he made a mistake (YA THINK???), so he goes back in and grabs Rachel, who’s too gracious, and asks for a second chance. End scene. We’ll have to wait until next week to find out if Meatball comes back (LORT I hope not)!!! The balls on that guy! See what I did there??? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

Until next week BBs!!! xo šŸŒ¹