BBs! It’s week 8 and that means it’s time for what used to be one of my v favorite Bachelor/ette episodes- Men Tell All!!! But before we get to that we have one last hometown to visit!
Aven’s hometown with Rachel
We are in Salem, Mass for Aven’s hometown and if history repeats itself, things do not bode well for a lady in this town! Before we meet the parents, though we stop in and consult with a Love Witch! Rachel and Aven go into the Love Witch’s shop and Rachel gets SO excited that they have half priced crystals- it’s almost more excited than she gets for her guys!!! The LOVE WITCH puts a spell on R & A and just as they are about to leave the glass table the love witch was working off of completely tips over! Candles and crystals everywhere!!!
That night R & A go to a seafood restaurant (why not someone’s house I want to know!!!) to meet cutie Aven’s parents. Mom has this long blonde-ish wild hair and a nose ring. Dad is more conservative looking AND acting- he’s v skeptical. But after chatting with R for a while he warms up nicely! Both parents are supportive of R & A, which a HUGE relief for Rachel since Tino’s parents ripped her apart!
After the parental meeting Aven tells Rachel he’s falling in love with her and she feels the same way. It’s v sweet!
Men Tell All
Jesse Palmer starts the show by telling us that no one went home from hometowns, and everyone got a rose.
Then Jesse makes me so jealous by telling everyone that everyone in the audience gets a Virgin cruise!
Finally the men tell all part starts. Roby (who dyed his hair that yellowy bleach color) has lots to say for a magician who was sent home the first night!
Hayden (who said all those hateful things about G & R and called them b!tches) isn’t there. GOOD. I don’t want him to get any airtime!
Logan is there though and he denies any wrongdoing (with the switching from R to G) and he’s still SO douchey!!! I loathe him and I hate that he’s going to Paradise where I’ll have to watch him even more!!! So then we are treated to a preview of BIP.
Nate is in the hot seat for a WHILE. First they make him rehash his “journey” with Gabby then Jesse addresses some social media rumors that apparently Nate dated a couple of women at the same time and kept his daughter a secret from them. He apologizes and says he’s a different man now than he was then. I still adore Nate!
Gabby and Rachel come out and sit on the hot seat. Jacob apologizes to Gabby for being so rude and while he seems sincere I still can’t stand him or his man bun!!!
Bloopers are funny and then more advertisements!!! Billy Eichner (who I LOVE) and some guy I don’t know come out to promote the movie Bros. Then to top off the night, Meatball douses himself with marinara again. And it’s gross. Again!
And that’s it BBs! No big secrets, no major drama. Just 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back!!! 😂
Wow. Wow wow wow BBs. I just finished watching week 7- Hometowns and I am emotionally WROUGHT!!! I am spent I tell you! We have a LOT to unpack so let’s go!!!
First up is Gabby and Jason in New Orleans. They meet up with Jason’s dad at a park and Dad is crying from the get go! He just loves his son so much! It’s really v sweet. That night G meets mom, sister, etc. Mom is giving me major Elvira vibes with her high hair and black eye makeup. Mom is super emotional too. The most surprising thing that happens is when Jason tells Mom that “I can’t see myself getting engaged at this point.” Um, excuse me? Gabby does not know this information AND have you not seen the show??? The end game is marriage! There’s an engagement ring in the logo for Pete’s sake!!!
Next we go to Anaheim, CA with Rachel and Zach. They meet the family and Z’s uncle is Patrick Warburton! I love that guy!!! He’s hilarious! Zach seems super nice and all but it’s all v khaki, you know? Z’s dad even says to Rachel- you go to romantic places and you’ll fall in love with a monkey! Ha!!! He’s not wrong. Z tells Rachel he’s in love with her.
Then we head to Palm Beach, FL with Gabby and Johnny. Not much exciting to report here either. Johnny’s family seems nice enough and they seem v supportive of both Johnny and Gabby. BUT- Johnny tells his mom he’s not sure if he’s ready for an engagement!!! Does NO MAN want to marry poor Gabby??? WHY go on a show where if you “win” you get married??? I do not understand men!
Wildwood, NJ is our next destination with Rachel and Tyler. Apparently Wildwood is on the Jersey shore and R & T have the entire deserted boardwalk to themselves. It’s a bit creepy! Also, T seems to own one of the carnival boardwalk games?? Get back to me on the specifics, will ya ABC? So after running into some of Ty’s friends, T & R sit down on a bench and chat. Poor, delusional Ty is running off at the mouth about how incredible Rachel is and how he’s in love with her and this has been the BEST DAY EVER!!! And the whole time, poor teary eyed Rachel is waiting for Tyler to TAKE A BREATH so she can tell him that she just doesn’t think she can “get there” with him and she respects him too much to bring his family into this. R is shaking like a leaf and Ty is soooo sweet about the whole thing and just smiles through his pain. I want to hug him so bad! Then, just when you think ABC couldn’t be more cruel, we cut to Ty’s family sitting around in their living room waiting for him to come in. Tyler walks in with a big smile and even though he looks like he’s about to burst into tears, he tells his family Rachel isn’t here. Where is she, Ty?? OH MY HEART!!!
Before I can even catch my breath we move on to Bedminster, NJ to see Gabby meet Erich’s family. Gabby (who’s favorite word of all time is YEAH- I swear she sounds like the Usher song!!!) meets Erich’s mom, I think a brother, grandma and grandpa, and Erich’s dad. Dad has been battling terminal cancer for 3 years now and isn’t doing so well. But he totally rallies for this visit and I swear Gabby and Erich better get married and honor dad of Erich for the rest of their earthly years!!! Dad chats with G & E then G chat’s with mom, who’s also super emotional. Mom is Dad’s caregiver and they’ve been married almost 35 years. BTW I AM A WRECK at this point!!! Just sitting here doing the ugly cry!!! Erich’s family is just so lovely. G & E ride off on a motorcycle to a tavern where E says I’m falling in love with you and G says I’m also falling in love with you.
Finally we go to Santa Clarita, CA to witness the bloodbath that is Rachel meeting Tino’s family. Tino’s fam is V V skeptical about Rachel, about the Bachelorette, about the timeline of their love, about EVERYTHING and they are NOT holding back!!! Not 5 minutes after T & R walk through the door, Tino says he’s planning to propose in a couple weeks and Dad of Tino is all THE HELL YOU ARE, BOY!!! Mom grills Rachel. R is almost in tears. Then Dad grills Rachel. These people are TOUGH.
Tino and Rachel go outside at the end of the night to chat and T has the audacity to say “They adored you!” Bahahaha!!! No they certainly did not! Rachel can tell that his parents did not like her or anything about this process . Tino says I’m falling in love with you and can’t see a future without you. Rachel says I’m falling in love with you too.
And that is that! Next week we have Aven’s hometown then Men Tell All. I can’t wait!!! I love the hometowns episode so much because you get to see where (and who) these people came from and it’s v eye opening. ABC did not disappoint tonight!!!
BBs- it’s week 6 and we’re in Amsterdam! First off though, as a cruise junkie, I am in awe that the Bachelorette peeps have this entire cruise ship to themselves!!! I’d be running amuck!!!
Nate & Gabby 1-1
Nate and Gabby walk around Amsterdam a bit and then G bursts into tears! They sit down on a bench and G sobs as she explains that she doesn’t know if she wants to be a mother. That she’s not ready to be a mom. I think this is SO mature of Gabby! Thank goodness she did the hard thing NOW instead of going to hometowns and meeting Nate’s daughter and bringing a child into all this mess, and THEN breaking up with him. I hate to see Nate go- he’s been one of my faves from the start. But I’m sooo proud of Gabby for realizing she’s just not in the place he needs her to be. Gabby’s crying, Nate’s crying (but being SUCH a gentleman about the whole thing and it makes me love him even more!!!), and I’m crying!!!
Zach & Rachel 1-1
Zach and Rachel’s second 1-1 includes frolicking through tulip fields (stunningly beautiful!!!), riding bikes, and sitting and making out in a hot tub. At Fake Dinner Zach tells R that he used to be 85 lbs heavier and he’s a big fan of therapy. He gets the rose. It’s a nice date and all but I don’t see a lot of chemistry there.
Gabby Group Date
G and her guys go to see a Mistress sex expert. It’s all very odd. The Mistress asks the guys a bunch of questions like “Do you know how to please a woman”. Then the guys are forced to take their shirts off, are blindfolded, and are made to lay on a carpet in a circle while Gabby slaps them in the chest with a whip, drips hot wax on them, and randomly makes out with them. That night the mood is tense with the guys because there’s a rose on the table and next week is hometowns. Before G can arrive to the cocktail party, Jesse visits her to let her know that Logan has Covid and is out! Then Jesse goes to see the other guys and instead of saying “Logan has the rona”, Jesse is all vague and weird about it saying there’s a situation with Logan. Strange. Jesse cancels the cocktail party “to be safe”, but I thought Covid quarantine lasted a lot longer than one night!!!
Rachel Group Date
R and her guys go to the Cheese capital of the world and the guys enter a cheese lifting competition, shirtless of course. TIno wins cheese king! That night Tyler gets the group date rose and Tino FLIPS out! I don’t know why either! Rachel practically swoons every time he’s near her- let the little guy get a rose for a change TIno!
Gabby says she’s only comfortable handing out 3 roses. Erich, Jason, and Johnny get roses. Spencer is going home.
Rachel gives roses to Aven and Tino. Ethan is going home.
Next week is hometowns! Can’t wait BBs!!! Until then! xo 🌹
It’s Week 5 BBs and Rachel is STILL crying! But who could blame her??? ABC has thrown her into this romantic hellscape with no relief in sight! Poor girl!
You may remember from last week that Logan decided he wants to pursue Gabby instead of Rachel. AFTER he’s accepted 5, count em, 5 roses from Rachel!!! Shady McShadester!!! So before the group date, Logan goes to speak with Rachel and tells her that he has feelings for Gabby. Logan bows out of the group date. Rachel asks him why did he accept her rose last night, which Logan conveniently “doesn’t hear”. He leaves and poor Rachel is in tears. She feels like a failure as the Bachelorette. Jesse comes to see Rachel then goes to see Rachel’s guys, who are walking around Bruges, Belgium. Jesse tells the guys that the group date is canceled. Poor guys are REALLY disappointed. But, Rachel says she’ll see them later.
Meanwhile, Logan goes to see Gabby. He tells her “I was on fire for you!”. Seriously? Stop speaking now Logan.
Later, Rachel goes to see her guys for the Group Date After Party, wearing a hideous dress. She breaks my heart when she tells her guys to leave if they want. Then she has alone time with each of the guys and when she’s with Tino he says “I’ll take any piece of you any day.” Swooon!!! Love Tino!!! Tino gets the group date rose. As he should!
Gabby’s Group Date
Gabby and her guys tour around Bruges, play soccer with local kids, eat waffles, and play roshambo (rock, paper, scissors) with some locals. But in Belgium, when you lose, you get slapped in the face with a fish! It’s pretty entertaining! I can think of quite a few people I’d like to fish slap!!!
That night Logan joins the group and the other guys are NOT HAPPY. They are all questioning their connections with Gabby. G is looking super cute in a tiny lime green dress. Nate gets the group date rose.
Rachel 1-1 with Aven
The 2 of them tour around Bruges and make out. At Fake Dinner Aven talks about some Mommy drama he has and gives Rachel a bracelet his mom made. They make out some more and R gives Aven the rose. He is soooo cute.
Gabby 1-1 with Johnny
Johnny and Gabby go to a brewery, taste beer, get in a bathtub full of beer, and slap each other with eucalyptus branches. Honestly, before this I didn’t even know who Johnny was. Or why a grown man is still named Johnny. Or that he was on this show. At Fake Dinner Johnny admits he struggles with depression, which is pretty woke of him. Gabby gives Johnny the rose.
Gabby’s group is still fuming over the addition of Logan.
Logan gets Gabby’s last rose. Gabby has 5 guys left and I think Rachel has 5 left too. Going home: Michael, Mario, and Meatball. We’re 2 weeks away from Hometowns already. What a dumpster fire this season has been!!!
Next week we’re going to Amsterdam!!! Until then BBs!!! xo🌹
It’s Week 4 BBs, AND my birthday!!! 🥳🥳🥳 I’m late posting because I’ve been busy with festivities and couldn’t watch until early this afternoon. But let’s get into it!!!
First of all… I can’t believe Meatball is back!!! He does redeem himself, but more on that later. They don’t make an announcement or anything, he’s just back. At the mansion, all the guys are milling about and chatting and Hayden is saying some really terrible things about our lovely Bachelorettes!!! Remember, he’s the same guy who told Gabby she was too “rough around the edges to be his wife” last week. Well this week he takes it WAY too far!!! Hayden says “they (the bachelorettes) don’t hold a candle” to his ex. And then…AND THEN!!! He actually says out loud!!! “My dumb ass uses the verbiage that Gabby uses to describe herself, and she f-ing didn’t like that. Well, bitch, maybe you shouldn’t use that word to describe yourself then.” I am SHOOK again!!! Did he just call the Bachelorette a bitch?!?! I loathe that word!!! Oh and he totally said the F word, I just cleaned it up for y’all.
Jesse Palmer comes in and tells the guys that they are going to France!!! This is a HUGE deal, because normally when they say the guys are going somewhere romantic, it’s to Boise, not Paris!!!
Tino’s 1-1 with Rachel in Paris.
It’s a rainy day in Paris, but that doesn’t stop T&R from making out while walking around the city of Love. They make crepes and they seem to really be getting along. At Fake Dinner they seem to have great chemistry and you can tell Tino (is that his real name or a nickname? I have questions ABC!!!) is really into Rachel. THANK GOODNESS because last week was such a sh!tshow for her!!! Rachel even admits to Tino that she really likes him! Yay!!! He gets the rose.
Jason’s 1-1 with Gabby in Paris
Jason is so quiet. Like a mime, he’s so quiet. When he does speak he peppers his speech with so many “likes” I feel a drinking game coming on!!! Jason and Gabby get fitted for berets and go wine tasting. Over Fake Dinner G asks J why he’s so reserved and he says he has tennis trauma. You read that right. Tennis. Trauma. No idea what that’s supposed to mean. BUT when G tells J about her absentee mom and how her mom just doesn’t have the tools to love her like a mom should, Jason is genuinely empathetic, actively listens, and openly talks about his therapy and how it’s helped him. Points for that J!!! He gets the rose.
Meanwhile, the other guys have made it to France and board a Virgin cruise ship. Y’all know I love a cruise so I’m excited about this! Also, who knew Jesse Palmer could speak French??? Impressed!!!
Gabby Group Date
French Boxing. Say what now??? Seriously ABC??? You’ve flown all these people to France and all you can come up with for them to do is hit each other??? G’s guys warm up and learn some French boxing techniques, then they are ready for the big fight! Rachel and her guys come to watch. But NONE of R’s guys come to sit with her, or can even be bothered to look her way!!! It’s pitiful!!! Meanwhile Rachel has to sit there listening to Gabby’s guys professing their love for G before their matches. My heart breaks for R!!! Spencer wins the boxing match and gets 1-1 time with Gabby. Poor Rachel is feeling so insecure and is crying and even says that Clayton (yes, that scummy underbite sporting dbag) made her feel more secure and loved than her guys do!!! Again, pitiful!!! Rachel confronts her guys when they all get back to the cruise ship and tells them she’s disappointed in them. Way to go R!!! But it’s sooo sad that the freaking Bachelorette has to practically beg her guys to pay attention to her!!!
Rachel Group Date
Rachel takes the guys to see romance experts and boy do they need expert help!!! But instead of anything really helpful, the experts instruct the guys to flirt with Rachel (which goes terribly because no one seems to know how to flirt). Then they make out with their fists. I can’t make this stuff up! And the icing on the cake is they blindfold Rachel and make her sniff the guys’ armpits!!! I’m so confused and so sad for Rachel! Meanwhile, Logan (one of R’s guys) tells producers he really has feelings for Gabby! So this is a train wreck a’coming down the tracks!!! Poor Rachel can’t catch a break!!! Tyler somehow wins 1-1 time with R and they make out and he gets the rose.
Hayden is telling Rachel about his dog Rambo, who has a brain tumor and is allegedly clinging for life back at home. I say allegedly because Hayden is the kind of guy who would totally make this up if he thought it would serve him well. He’s all y’all and yes ma’am until you turn around and he trashes you to his friends. I hate him. Anyway, Tino interrupts Hayden’s story and Rachel apparently doesn’t react sadly enough for Hayden. Hayden rejoins the group and tells anyone who will listen that R should have been sobbing over Rambo.
Meatball tells Rachel all about the nasty things Hayden said back at the mansion. Way to go Meatball! Never thought I’d utter those words!!! 😂 Rachel pulls Hayden aside to talk but that narcissist thinks she’s come to speak to him about Rambo!!! R tells H what Meatball said and H denies denies denies. Hello! You’ve been recorded saying this stuff you moronic donut!!! So Rachel sends him home. She should have been allowed to push him overboard. Wasted use of a ship if you ask me.
R’s so upset it’s drama every day and she’s getting beaten down. She’s crying. Jesse cancels the rest of the party.
Gabby sends Quincey and Kirk (who??) home.
Rachel gives Logan the last rose and he accepts it!!! Even though he’s all hotsy totsy for Gabby!!! This will not end well!!! Jordan gets sent home.
We have to wait until next week to see what other emotional Olympics ABC is planning on putting poor Rachel through while Gabby has a great time finding love in Europe!!!