bloggy stuff, it's all about me

Mother Clucker

So, this has been a tough week.  And I’ve had tough weeks before.  Hell, I’ve had a tough few years.  But this week, with Sara’s health.  And something else happened.  There’s this thing I’ve been working toward.  We’ll call it the chicken.  So for the last almost 2 years I’ve been trying to get this chicken.  I’ve put in countless hours, spent lots of money, jumped through hoops, all for the chicken.  Well this week, a day after finding out Sara’s bad test results, I found out that the people who are in charge of giving me the chicken won’t give me the chicken.  They changed their rules and are now completely out of the chicken business.  And there’s nothing I can do.  Nothing.  The chicken company won’t budge.  And this is a life changing chicken.  I mean, this is the motha cluckin chicken of all chickens.  At least for me.  So the last couple of days have been full of lots of poultry tears and worry and stress and loss.

And now I’m tired.  I know that this is my blog.  And I can write whatever I want on it.  And I started it as my journal.  But it is depressing me to think oh, I need to blog today and then think I have nothing good to say.  Nothing good has happened to me in so long.  Don’t get me wrong, I count my blessings.  I thank God every night for CSP, my family, my friends (including y’all), my pugs, etc.  But not one goal or hope or dream has worked out for me in YEARS.  And this chicken business is almost enough to push me over the edge.  I need a break.  I’m on Facebook and I have email and I’ll check all that a couple times a week.  But I need some time to just be unplugged.  Step back and focus on small things.  Like organizing my linen closet perhaps.  I need to create small victories for myself.

I’ll be back.  I haven’t been keeping this blog going for over 7 years to abandon it now.  I won’t be back tomorrow.  I’m not one of those drama queens who declare blog breaks only to be back in a day.  No, fixing up this old bird is gonna take a good while.  In the meantime, take care and thank you for being there for me.

*Just a quick edit to say that the Chicken has nothing to do with our adoption.  And thank you for all your supportive comments and emails. xoxo