It is week 2 BBs! Y’all ready?? Let’s go!!! First up we have the Group Date. IF you can call it that! Remember, this season there are no rules! So Gabby & Rachel go over to the mansion and have all 29 (!!!) guys change into speedos, telling them that there will be a pageant- complete with interview and talent. It seems that NO ONE’S speedo fits because I’ve never seen so many black censor bars in my whole Earthly life!!! There are so many ding a lings trying to make a break for it everywhere you look!!! Some guys juggle, Chris sings (terribly), one guy does the worm (you KNOW that hurt), and Meatball pours marinara down his mostly naked and hairy body. I won’t eat spaghetti for a lonnnnng time! Jesse Palmer announces that the winners (6 of them) get to go to an exclusive after party at G&R’s mansion.
At the after party, Rachel is having a hard time. You can just see her spacing out as guy after guy offers up inane conversation topics like “how many US states he’s been to” and “which Harry Potter house she’d be in”. Meanwhile, Gabby seems to be having a pretty good time. Then Logan kisses BOTH girls, one after another. When G&R get together to compare notes Rachel says Logan kissed her and she likes him so Gabby keeps her Logan kiss to herself and lets R pursue him.
Rachel gives Logan her rose and Gabby gives hers to Johnny.
Jordan V’s 1-1
Rachel takes fresh faced Jordan V on a zero gravity plane. They float around and make out and no one vomits. Huzzah! I have so many questions about how a normal looking plane can get to zero gravity! But I’ll have to google that later because ABC ain’t sharing.
That night Rachel and Jordan are having Fake Dinner and Jordan is saying all the right things. They are getting along great but Rachel just isn’t feeling a spark. It could be because Jordan is cute and all but he looks about 17 years old. R talks to the producers and asks if she can send him home. They say sure. But wait! Do you have to ask G first? Again, there are no rules!!! It’s romantic mayhem up in here! So Rachel sends baby face Jordan home.
Back at the guy’s house, most of the guys are sitting around when a producer comes in and grabs Jordan’s bag. They then realize he’s been sent home and are SHOOK. Especially because it’s just the first 1-1!!! Meanwhile, Chris (the terrible singer) is chatting with a group of guys and brings up Fantasy Suites. What?!? It’s like day 4, dude. Way too soon!!! He says that when, not if, he gets to Fantasy Suites, if he finds out his girl has been intimate with another man, that’s a deal breaker and he’ll leave. But he won’t be sharing that info with G&R!!! Nice. Immediately the other guys jump to the ladies’ defense. Nate says Chris needs to have more respect, that G&R could be their loves and mothers of their children. V cool to see the guys having the ladies’ backs.
Nate and Gabby take a helicopter ride around LA. They make out and afterwards go in a hot tub. You have REALLY got to be a fan of hot tubs to be on this show. I notice they never have the bubbles going though, so are they really just tepid bath tubs?? Nate is wearing more jewelry than I do on any given day, including a pearl necklace, but I’m here for it. He’s giving me the villian from Black Panther meets Harry Styles vibes. That night they have fake dinner and Nate tells Gabby he has a 6 year old daughter. It’s v sweet listening to him talk about his baby girl. Gabby gives him the rose.
Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party
G&R are having a good night. The guys are attentive and everyone is kissing each other. Then, three of the guys grab Rachel and tell her about Chris’s Fantasy Suites talk. You can tell R has no idea who Chris is at first but then she gets angry. R pulls G away from her talk with some rando and fills G in on what’s going on with Chris. G&R then confront Chris who acts so bothered by these little women. He is so patronizing and condescending it’s not even funny. They send him home. He walks out then WALKS RIGHT BACK IN!!! He’s not respectful of the ladies’ decision AT ALL. Chris gathers up the guys he told about the Fantasy Suite business to confront them, but before he gets a chance, G&R spot him and kick him out. Again. What nerve he has!
It’s announced that these roses are coming from both women. The ceremony itself is non-eventful. Going home: Ryan, Brandan (yes he spells it that way, UGH), Colin, Matt, Justin, and John. None of whom I could pick out of a lineup!!!
And that’s it for this week! Next week looks promising! I just hope at some point G&R sit down and hash out some rules before they get too far into this thing or it’s gonna get messy!!!
Until next week BBs! xo 🌹