fun, pop culture, quotes

These things need to DIE

There are a few sayings/quotes/ what have you that I feel have met the end of their days here on Earth.  They need to die.  Go peacefully into that good night or whatever.  I don’t care what you call it- I just don’t want to ever hear these things again.  I don’t ask for much from you people, but I swear, if I hear any of you saying these things or if I visit your home and find these sayings painted on some folksy wall plaque…well, I may just need to take a good, hard look at our friendship.  Now, don’t go looking at me like that, I promise I have good reasons for each one.

  • What happens in _____, stays in _____. Ugh, WE GET IT.  Way to take a cute tourism ad slogan for Las Vegas and bastardize it all over cheap merchandise and throw pillows.  And the thing is, if you’re wearing a t-shirt that says “What happens in _____, stays in _____” then you are just begging someone to ask you what happened in ____ now aren’t you?  And that just defeats the whole purpose.
  • It’s 5 o’clock somewhere! You want a cocktail.  So have one.  There is no need to explain to me or anyone else that it’s late afternoon somewhere.  You know what else?  It’s tomorrow somewhere too but I don’t use that as an excuse to smoke crack.
  • Live, Laugh, Love.   If you have to pay $24.99 to some mail order housewares catalog for a resin plaque in the shape of an old banner that you’ll hang in your house to remind you to Live, Laugh, and Love because otherwise you may actually forget to Live, Laugh, and Love then your money would be better spent elsewhere.
  • You go girl/boy! I’m so tired of this I can’t even bring myself to say something halfway witty about it.
  • I just threw up in my mouth a little. I saw a Tweet on Twitter from someone (I can’t remember who- sorry!) begging people to stop saying this.  And I totally agree.  It’s a line from a movie.  When you say it you are not being clever or original.  And since everyone seems to say it about everything that’s slightly unpleasant it has worn me slap out.  I’ll admit I said it myself once or twice a few years ago.  Then I let it go.  You should too.

Did I miss any?  What do you want people to drop from their vocabularies?