pop culture, tv

Bachelorette Week 5

Welcome to Week 5 BBs! This week we are in Michelle’s hometown of Minneapolis, MN. and there are 11 guys left vying for her affection.

Joe’s 1-1

I find it a little odd that Joe gets the first 1-1 in Minneapolis since HE’S FROM THERE. I mean, wouldn’t she want to show someone new around? Anyway, they go to Target field where the Twins play and throw some pitches. Then Michelle tours Joe around her high school. They play a little pick up basketball.

Fake Dinner

During Fake Dinner, Joe explains how sports and being Mr Basketball shaped him, but also how the injuries affected him. He had to have some MAJOR reconstructive surgery on his foot (with a bunch of screws and a metal plate) and he never played the same way again. This really affected him mentally and he dealt with depression, anxiety, and (trigger warning) suicidal thoughts. By the end of their conversation they are both in tears. Poor guy. I really feel for him. He gets the rose and they end the date on a giant ferris wheel. V romantic!

Group Date

The group meets Michelle at US Bank Stadium where the Minnesota Vikings play. I know all this because CSP is from Winona, MN and a HUGE sports fan! The guys have to compete to be the Ultimate Viking. Dressed in Viking gear (not football gear- think faux {I HOPE} furs and leathers) the guys have to eat things like fermented herring, practice their war cries, and arm wrestle. Clayton wins the horned helmet prize and I think it’s just because he’s tall and a screamer.

After Party

ALL day Chris has been moping about because he thought his big show last week would have reaped him more rewards. In case you missed it, Chris stood IN FRONT of Michelle, addressed all of the guys, and dressed them down for not paying enough attention to Michelle. In his head Michelle was soooo thankful he did this. In reality, she was perturbed. Back to the group date, Chris is quite literally shocked that Michelle hasn’t pulled him aside to chat or come check on him since he’s been acting all butthurt all day. Um, hello! YOU are supposed to be pursuing HER. Delusional I tell you! Clayton gets the group date rose.

Sidebar on Clayton: At this point it’s already been announced that Clayton (who I don’t even find attractive in any way) is the next Bachelor. I HATE when they do this. It’s like now all of his time on the Bachelorette is a big fat waste of time!!! UGH.

Nayte 1-1

Michelle picks Nayte up in a pontoon boat in Lake Minnetonka. They boat around a bit then pick up 2 of Michelle’s best girl friends. There’s the chipper, talkative one who warns Nayte that they are v protective, and then there’s the one in all black who asks Nayte “Do you have any enemies?”. I LOVE HER. The friends grill Nayte and ultimately give their seal of approval.

Fake Dinner

All the while that Michelle and Nayte are talking at Fake Dinner, the cameras keep cutting back to Chris at the hotel who’s steaming over the fact that “Nayte took my one on one”. Chris is skulking around talking about how he MUST speak to Michelle right away. Sure enough Chris CRASHES NAYTE’S ONE ON ONE!!! Is Fake Dinner not sacred to you Chris??? Michelle agrees to speak with Chris and they walk outside to a bench to talk.

Chris :”Why didn’t you seek me out to talk after I spoke up for you”. Michelle: “No, you spoke FOR me when I can speak for myself.” YES!!! Had I been sitting there with psychopath Lord Farquaad my cheeks would have been all red and I’d be stumbling over my words with rage. But Michelle ever so politely puts Chris in his place and sends him home. Huzzah!!!

When she gets back to Nayte, she apologizes for the interruption and Nayte v maturely states he doesn’t need an explanation about her decision or relationship with Chris, that he’s just focused on their relationship. See why he’s one of my favorites??? Nate gets the rose.

Cocktail Party

Martin is speaking with Michelle. Is it just me or did his hair go from Ramen Noodle Yellow to silver/white since the last episode? Either way it’s still hideous. Anyway, they are talking and Martin says most women are high maintenance, especially women in Miami. This doesn’t go over well with Michelle, who, you know, is a WOMAN. She keeps asking him to explain how women, more than men, are high maintenance and he keeps talking around an answer, without actually giving one. ALL THIS coming from a guy with bleached hair and more jewelry on his body and head than she has!

Rose Ceremony

Miraculously, Martin makes it through to see another week. UGH. Going home: Casey and Leroy (who I don’t think had a single conversation with Michelle outside of the Rose Ceremonies!).

Until next week! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelorette Week 4

Week 4 has come BBs!!! We start off with a 1-1 with Martin of all people. I don’t understand his appeal. The NSYNC era frosted hair, ALL the jewelry, the weird beard. But ok. He shows up for his date in a sleeveless plaid flannel shirt. WHY??? It’s an assault on my eyes!!! They go to the BMW driving school and learn how to drift while driving BMWs. Later they get in what looks to be a giant wash tub from Hee Haw and drink champagne and talk. This is when Martin starts defending Jamie and calling him a “hell of a guy”. Whoa. 🚩🚩🚩 Red flag alert!

Fake Dinner

Michelle brings up their disagreement over Jamie and Martin blames it all on poor communication skills he learned from his parents. WHAT?? Lame. For some reason Michelle gives him the rose anyway.

Group Date

This group date is sleepover themed. All the guys are given different types of jammies to wear and then they and Michelle hang out in this big room full of things like a popcorn machine and huge teddy bears. WHO thought this was a good idea for a date??? The guys are all ignoring Michelle. They are too busy playing with their teddy bears! At one point one guy even suggests “Does anyone want to play duck, duck, goose??” The Bella twins arrive and announce the guys have to battle it out by whacking each other with their teddy bears. There are 2 teams and the winning team will get to go to the after party with Michelle. Each time a head to head matchup is announced, the Bella girl ( I don’t know which is which) keeps saying So and so VERSE So and so. Instead of versus. It’s driving me mad!

Kaitlyn and Tayshia can tell something is bothering Michelle so Kaitlyn takes Michelle outside and they chat. Michelle admits she’s not feeling seen since NONE of the guys made an attempt to talk to her during the sleepover. Time is of the essence so this really is surprising.

After Party

Michelle tells the guys that she is seeing a lack of effort on their parts and not feeling seen. Olu gets emotional at this because Michelle reminds him of his sisters. He gets the group date rose.

Rick 1-1

Rick and Michelle take a sky gondola (is that what they are called??) up a mountain. They spend the day portion of their date in a forest. They find a wish box filled with anonymous wishes and one mentions a deceased father. This reminds Rick of his own father who passed away 3 years ago.

Fake Dinner

Rick picks back up with the story of his parents splitting up. Rick saw a text from his dad’s mistress and told his mom about it. His parents then split up and Rick blames himself for their split and his dad’s subsequent depression and death. Poor guy. Rick tells Michelle he’s falling in love with her and she gives him the rose.

Cocktail Party

Michelle walks into the room and is about to address the group of guys when little Chris S stands up IN FRONT OF MICHELLE and turns to the group and chastises them for not making Michelle feel seen. He says there are men in the group who feel like they have it all “in the bag” and they should go home. WOW. It never ceases to amaze me how men can feel so self important. Michelle (and the guys) is clearly shocked by this speech. Michelle gives a toast, then Brandon asks to steal her away. Chris S then says he’s going to talk to her first, thank you very much. Again, WOW.

Sidebar: Olu’s beard is so sparkly!

During his talk with Michelle, Chris throws sweet Nayte under the bus and says Nayte thinks he has it in the bag. Of course Michelle tells Nayte so then Nayte pulls Chris aside to confront him. Chris says he didn’t mean to single Nayte out. WHAT??? Of course you did!!! Then Chris actually says “I came in on my white horse and saved her from the castle she was stuck in.” OMG. I just can’t even deal with this man right now.

Rose Ceremony

Chris S gets the last rose for some reason. Going home: Chris G, Romeo, and Will (who totally looks like a Backstreet Boy).

Until next week my BBs!!! xo🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelorette Week 3

Well BBs, it’s week 3 and we are still dealing with week 2’s drama! But that comes later.

First we have a Top Gun: Maverick themed group date at an air museum. All the guys suit up in flight suits. There’s SO. Much. Jewelry!!! I don’t own as many necklaces as these 9 or 10 guys are sporting!!! It’s wild. At the date, Martin pulls Michelle aside and asks how she is feeling given the events of the prior night (when Jamie told her that the guys in the house were questioning her character). She thinks it’s sweet he thinks to check in on her. All the guys have to do push ups then get in a G Force simulator. Next they go head to head in a dog fight (up on a platform beating each other with padded sticks). Will wins the Maverick contest and gets a few minutes alone with Michelle, plus a bomber jacket.

That night at the after party Peter and Will are arguing again and it is SO VERY tiresome and lame. Peter actually says ” Bro you hate my mouth cause you wish you had it”. I mean, WHAT??? While Will is speaking with Michelle, Peter takes his jacket and throws it in the pool. Will is so upset by this that he cries. Tears. Then fishes his jacket out of the water. BUT to his credit, he doesn’t go crying to Michelle about it. Although someone needs to tell her that Peter is a douche. Martin gets the Group Date Rose.

Rodney 1-1

They play truth or dare. There’s a blindfolded taste test and Rodney has to streak naked through the hotel. You know, typical first date shenanigans.

Fake Dinner

Michelle and Rodney bond over his mom being his hero. Michelle tells a story about being called the N word and her ex not being supportive of her feelings. Rodney says Michelle could be the love of his life. Slow down there pardner! But I have to say, Rodney seems like one of the least problematic guys, and he is always smiling!

Group Date 2

Spoken word poetry. The guys are tasked with writing a personal poem to Michelle that they will then perform in front of Michelle and all the guys from the house. Jamie gets up and says he lost his little notebook and tells a story, not a poem, that’s a parable, not about himself. Ugh.

Michelle even performs a poem she wrote about being the token black girl.

That night…. Jamie keeps talking about how he’s miles ahead of all the other guys and they aren’t his competition. Says the group date rose is in the bag. Well, your bag’s empty Jamie because Brandon gets the group date rose! Ha!

After the date, Jamie pulls a producer aside and literally talks sh!t about Michelle! HELLO!!! You are being recorded!!! WHAT a dumbass.

The next night at the cocktail party….Jamie still hasn’t fessed up that it was he who told Michelle that guys were questioning her character. AND he speaks about himself in the 3rd person- grounds enough for me to send him home! Shannon doesn’t like that. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Michelle is looking amazing in a sparkly silver dress. Her stylist is doing a much better job than in seasons past! During Michelle’s talk with Rick, he brings up the whole questioning the character thing and Michelle says well it was Jamie.

Rick immediately goes and tells some of the guys that it was Jamie. Nayte (one of my faves) says let’s bring Jamie into this conversation. The guys confront Jamie who is hemming and hawing and won’t answer a direct question.

Later, Michelle comes to address the group and notices a vibe. Jamie decides to speak up and tell her what’s going on. But he’s stumbling over his words and not making a bit of sense. Michelle takes him outside to talk. He STILL won’t own up to it. She sends him home. YAY!!!

Michelle is so poised and put together when she deals with drama! She then cancels the cocktail party and moves them into the rose ceremony. Going home: Pizza Peter, Spencer, LT (who???), and Mollique.

Until next week my BBs!!! xo 🌹