BBs!!! It’s time for my favorite guilty pleasure, I mean, show of the Bachelor franchise- Bachelor in Paradise! Or BIP, if you will. It’s the season 7 premiere and in place of Chris Harrison, we have David Spade as our host! My only complaint so far- where is the Almost Paradise theme song?!?! It was so perfectly cheesy!!!
Let’s get into the cast for this season:
Victoria (was Queen, now self proclaimed Goddess)
Kenny (40 years old, arrives nakey as a jay bird!)
Kelsey (the girl who sprayed champagne all up her nose and over her face on Peter’s season)
Connor B (Cat man)
Grocery Store Joe (💜)
Abigail (first deaf Bachelor contestant. Too sweet for BIP)
Wells Adams (the bartender)
Immediately, Joe is having second thoughts about being here. After everyone arrives and starts drinking, David gathers everyone and has Wells explain the rules. There are 10 guys and 12 girls this week and the guys have the roses. You must be in a “relationship” by the rose ceremony or you get sent home.
That night Abigail gets the first date card. Yay! She takes Noah (who’s thankfully shaved his pornstache!!!) and they go to Fake Dinner in a place that’s surrounded by tons of pinatas. Abigail warns Noah she likes to move slow. Good luck with that in Paradise, girl! But Noah moves in for a kiss and they make out. So much for moving slow!
David checks in with Wells and finds out that that night sees the most makeouts of any season’s first night! Who’s kissing who?
Connor & Maurissa
Mari & Kenny
Aaron & Tammy
Tahzjuan & Tre
Abigail & Noah
Joe & Serena
They all think they got the first kisses in paradise! Ha! Sidebar, Tahzjuan actually went out on a date with Tre’s uncle and kissed him! SO weird!!!
The next morning Demi arrives (love Demi!!!) with a date card. But we’ll have to see who she takes on the date next week because that’s it for this episode!!!