Week 8!!! I thought it was going to be Hometowns (which in Covid land is just the conference room at the resort)! But instead we get Men Tell All. BUT! Before we get to that ABC has to rip our hearts out. Michael is on a FaceTime call with his 4 year old son James when James says “Daddy left because he doesn’t want to see me!” OH MY HEART!!! Poor Michael looks gut punched and almost immediately heads to Katie’s room to chat.
In Katie’s room Michael tells K what happened with James and that he needs to go home. Now, I think Michael is an amazing dad and a great guy but what harm would come to James if Michael stays with K another week or two really? He’s only 4. He’s not going to remember. Just my 2 cents.
Katie seems to take Michael’s leaving HARD. She’s crying all her mascara off and saying she’s pissed and hurt. Are you though? As much as I think Michael is fabulous and would treat any woman like a QUEEN, I just don’t see a spark with the two of them.
Then it’s time for Men Tell All. Michael is there so that explains why ABC showed us his departure. The guys INSTANTLY start arguing about who was there for the right reasons and Karl gets all up in Brendan’s face and it’s the most I’ve heard Brendan speak all season! BTW, where’s Thomas???
Kaitlyn and her lip fillers and Tayshia bring Connor Cat Man up to the hot seat to discuss his “trash kissing”. Poor Connor even says when he got home he texted ex girlfriends to ask if he was a trash kisser. Poor guy! Then! Out of nowhere a girl from the audience stands up and declares she wants to find out if Connor really IS a bad kisser!!! She comes down to the stage and doesn’t even say a word- just lays one on Connor! They kiss multiple times and stranger lady says Connor is an 11 out of 10! Way to get redemption Cat Man!!!
Katie comes out and accidentally calls Aaron by Thomas’ name! Then lo and behold Thomas is there. But not really. He shows up via Zoom. Lame.
Connor sings a song about bromance and that’s basically it! Fairly non-eventful. But I do have to say that this is a good bunch of guys. I wonder who will make it to Paradise???
There are 7 guys left. Kaitlyn and Tayshia start out the show chatting with Katie. Kaitlyn is wearing a belted throw rug as a dress. I swear the stylist on this show is a crackhead. Also, some tea I learned…Blake and Brendan knew each other pre-show!!! WHY does this not come out on the show?? And Blake encouraged Brendan to apply to the show. So why didn’t Blake apply at the same time?? Why wait and come on halfway through?? Boggles the mind!!
It’s a HUGE deal that Greg gets a 1-1 this week as these are the last 2 1-1 dates. AND Greg’s already had a 1-1 but Brendan and Mike P the virgin haven’t. Greg and Katie are wearing matching outfits again! Her’s is a horrendous green tshirt that does NOTHING for her. Hear me now- I predict she picks Greg. I’ll be SHOCKED if she doesn’t! Anyway, they go to an area of the resort that’s set up to mimic Seattle, where K is from. They throw fish and play football.
Greg tells K he’s falling in love with her. He gets the rose (so he’s definitely going to hometowns) and then they run out into the faux Seattle rain to make out.
Back at the house, Michael A is FaceTiming his son and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!!!
The date card is announced for the Group Date and Brendan is STRUGGLING because his name is on it so he doesn’t get the last 1-1, Mike P the virgin does. So Brendan goes to K’s room. As he’s knocking on her door he applies chapstick! I love it so much!!! He goes in and they chat. Katie says she can’t get there with him in time and sends him home.
The guys and Katie go to an “art exhibit” filled with paintings of blooming flowers and dripping fruit and it’s all supposed to be v erotic. Keep in mind the guys may or may not be still withholding from self love from last week’s WOWO challenge. So the guys are tasked to create art pieces with Katie as their muse. OF COURSE Blake’s is completely blacked out because his classless ass can’t be trusted!!! I can not stand that man.
Blake tells Katie “I’m not in love with you”.
Michael A tells Katie “No one will love you like I can”
Andrew recreates their 1-1 and tells K he’s falling for her. SO sweet!!!
Michael A gets the group date rose.
Mike P 1-1
They walk out to the woods and are joined by a CUDDLE EXPERT. Why is ABC so intent on torturing this poor virgin??? During this cuddle date Mike P compares Katie to his mother. Multiple times. Yikes. Creepy. Before they can even get to Fake Dinner, K walks up to Mike in the woods and she’s crying. Yep, you guessed it, she sends him home. Mike takes it SO graciously! He’s a good guy, you can tell. Just a WEEEEE bit too close to his mom!!!
Blake gets the first rose. GAG. I swear on all that’s good and holy if they make Blake the next Bachelor I will NOT watch!!!
It’s down to Justin (who’s facial expressions crack me up weekly!!!) and Andrew. K gives Justin the last rose!!! NOOOOOOOO! Katie you cotton picking FOOL!!!! Blake over Andrew???? I could slap her face!!!
The next morning Andrew stops by K’s room for a cheerier goodbye. He leaves her with a note. “If you change your mind, I’ll be waiting.” SWOON!!!! So Katie runs after Andrew in her bare feet (on hotel carpet- gross!) and jumps on him in the lobby. Now I’m crying! She asks if he wants to say and he says NO!!! Can you blame him? He says he doesn’t want to delay the inevitable and be right back here in a week or two and he wants her to CHOOSE him. I choose you Andrew!!!! She walks him out and have one last kiss. He’s still single as far as I know, if you want to slide into his DMs!!!
And that’s it until Hometowns next week Bbs!!! Until then!!! xo 🌹
Week 6 BBs! This episode starts with a visit from, wait, could it be?? The hosts??? You mean we’ll actually see them for more than 5 seconds this week??? Tayshia and Kaitlyn stop by Katie’s suite to chat. During that chat Katie decides she wants to challenge the guys to a Seinfeld-esque challenge to withhold self love.
Kaitlyn gleefully runs to tell the guys and you’d think ABC had killed their parents the way they reacted!!! All except Mike P the virgin. HOW that man has gone his whole life without taking care of business on his own is beyond me! I’m truly concerned for him!
Katie takes Justin out to the woods where they are going to have the classic Wedding Photo Shoot date. Ugh. WHY do they do this?!? I mean, I know kids play wedding all the time, but to force grown ups to write their own vows and speak them while dressed in wedding attire?? You’d think that would spark some sort of bad wedding juju!
Katie talks about how the wedding date makes her miss her father even more. He passed away, and as it turns out, wasn’t her biological father! Family secrets! Justin just kind of sits there listening and manages to score the rose.
This group date has 10 guys on it. Such a big crowd! The guys and Katie walk into a room and 2 beautiful drag queens come out. Monet and Shea (correct me if I’m wrong) tell the guys they are going to have a big Royal Debate where the guys have to probe why they are worthy of Katie’s heart and the others are not (roast style). The guys are throwing softballs until finally one of them accuses Hunter of having a top 4 list of contenders (he’s #1 of course). Hunter vehemently denies this, of course. Does he not realize he’s on tv? Dude, you were filmed talking about your top 4 just yesterday! Guys can be dumb!
When it’s Blake’s turn to have some 1-1 time with Katie, all it seems he talks about is masturbation!!! SO GROSS. James is sporting another turtle neck. He tells K about his concerns regarding Hunter. Then Tre does the same, and Aaron too. K talks to Hunter who denies everything. After K speaks to Hunter she calls an end to the night, leaving quite a few guys with no time with her.
Connor Cat Man 1-1
They have a double date with Kaitlyn and Jason. Katie is wearing cut off denim shorts, a bathing suit top, and my grandma’s cardigan (which looks a lot like a blazer at first glance). WHO IS HER STYLIST??? I have questions!!! Katie is feeling a bit friend zoney with Cat Man and really wants to kiss him some more to see if there’s a spark. They kiss at the end of their day portion of the date.
Night/ Fake Dinner
Connor is getting ready in his suite when Katie arrives in a hoodie and tears. Before K can even speak she’s crying and he says ” It’s ok. I know where this is going.” and my heart just breaks! She tells Cat Man that when they kiss there’s just something missing. I’d feel even more sorry for Connor than I do but I’m distracted yet again by his multiple necklaces and shirt that’s open past his nips. I don’t understand his obsession with this look. K breaks the news to him that he’s going home.
Instead of a PA grabbing his suitcase for him like they normally do, Cat Man goes back to the group of guys and says goodbye. By the time he’s given everyone hugs it seems that EVERYONE is in tears over his exit.
Cut to Katie crying in her room. She hears something and opens her window and there’s Blake standing there under her balcony holding up a boombox type thing blasting Memorize You (the song they danced to on their date) a la Say Anything. It’s a romantic gesture for sure. Katie invites him up and they make out.
Side note, some people on the interwebs discovered that Blake looks just like the lion from the Madagascar movie and I can’t unsee it!!! Something about his teeth and droopy dog cheeks and beard. I don’t know, I still don’t trust him!
The next night is the cocktail party and Rose Ceremony. Mike P is looking like a priest tonight with his mock turtleneck and giant Jesus necklace. Katie comes in and declares she knows what she wants to do so she cancels the cocktail party and they head straight to the Rose Ceremony. There are only 6 roses on the table. K picks up the first rose and calls Hunter’s name and I yell NOOOOOO at my tv! But wait! She takes Hunter the troll outside to chat for a minute. They walk back in and he gets back in line, sans rose. Blake (ugh), Andrew, Suspender wearing Greg, Michael A, Mike P, and Brendan get roses. Aaron, James the box guy, Tre and his leopard print suit jacket, and Hunter (YAY!!!!) all get sent home.
Who are your favorites? We’re getting close to Home Towns! I’m so scared she’s going to pick Blake!!!
Hey there BBs! It’s Week 5 of Katie’s journey to find love on national television. Let’s dive in!!! Tayshia addresses the group of guys and informs them that “a man” is joining the house. The guys are LESS THAN PLEASED, obvs. Blake then saunters in to total and complete silence! Bahahaha! I can’t stand Blake. Then, as if the guys aren’t pissed enough at Blake and the situation, Blake gets the 1-1 date card. Yikes. Watch yer back there Blake!
They go horseback riding and have a romantic desert picnic. When it’s time to ride the horses Blake, who’s “job” is listed as Wildlife Advocate mind you, actually says “how do you make it go?”. DUDE. Who doesn’t know how to make it go??? I’m the most indoorsy person ever and I know how to make it go!!! Ugh.
At Fake Dinner Blake asks Katie how did she become so sex positive and she shares her sexual assault story with him. To his credit he handles it well. Blake gets the rose.
The next day is a group date with literally every man in the house save Blake and Andrew S. As per usual with ABC, there just must be at least one group date where the guys are forced to try and kill each other on tv, “for Katie’s heart”. This time they are playing a rugby/basketball hybrid. The only high point is that Franco and Wells arrive in v v short shorts, to help train the guys in the game and offer commentary. Everything is pretty tame until Hunter decides to take out Mike P in a tackle that I would not have recovered from. Hunter is foaming at the mouth and has blood lust written all over him! Once Mike P takes that hit, it’s ON. The guys go wild tackling each other HARD. Poor Michael A gets taken down by Justin and he doesn’t get up. Justin feels horrible and Michael basically just got the wind knocked out of him. I felt so bad for Michael A! Katie calls the game after this and declares them all winners so everyone gets to go to the after party.
Cat Man Connor with his 2 necklaces and his shirt open to his navel- I cannot. Meanwhile Michael A is sharing that yesterday was his deceased wife’s birthday and my heart breaks for him again. All the guys are in tears listening to him tell his story- except Hunter who’s all “Today was fun! Grrrr!!!” UGH please leave! SOMEHOW, Hunter gets the group date rose!!! Gross.
Andrew S 1-1
This date is all at night. They hike through the woods with lanterns to a an area where there are tons of fairy lights and envelopes hanging from some trees. The envelopes contain questions they have to answer. It’s kind of sweet but kind of a lame date. Andrew and Katie do seem to have chemistry and have fun together though.
At dinner Andrew broaches the subject of race and tells a heartbreaking story about how his ex was hesitant to have children with him because she didn’t want “mixed kids”. Ugh. Andrew S may have started his time on this show with a fake accent but I’ve really grown to like him! And that story made me so angry and sad for him. But at least now his ex is in the past! He gets the rose.
Hunter, who already has a rose, sets up this elaborate vignette for Katie and monopolizes her time. This sets the other guys OFF because so many of them haven’t had any time with her. So James, who totally looks like a mob boss tonight- with his black turtleneck, black suit, slicked back hair and big silver chain around his neck, interrupts Hunter and K and Hunter gets SO angry!!! Dude, chill! You already have a rose! He’s ranting about how he WILL get his time, and he ends up getting into an argument with the guys over it.
Tayshia and Kaitlin show up at the tail end of the cocktail party to lead Katie away and I’m thinking WHERE have you ladies been??? They are the most useless hosts!
Non-eventful. Going home- Quartney, Andrew M, and some guy named Josh who I just can not place. Has he even been on this show??? 😂
After the Rose Ceremony, Aaron is giving a toast when Hunter interrupts him and gives his own toast. We all know what that means! Next week is going to be all about Aaron vs Hunter!!!
And that is it for this week BBs!!! See you next time!!! xo 🌹