pop culture, tv

Bachelorette Week 3

Week 3 starts out with a group date where the guys are going to learn all about pregnancy and childbirth! This should be good. These guys have no idea about the pains of a woman- they use more hairspray than I do! Tyler C says “the belly gets bigger and bigger and the woman gets hungrier and hungrier.” OMG I can’t with him. The guys take an anatomy quiz & Cam thinks that gestation for a HUMAN woman is 2 weeks. Sharp as a bowling ball there Cam. The guys are then hooked up to machines that simulate labor pains and it’s the best tv I’ve seen in a few days. JPJ is pretty hilarious although I can’t help but think most of his reactions are for show.

That night at the cocktail party the guys are all still mad at Cam for crashing their group date last week. Meanwhile Cam’s complaining about not getting any time with Alabama Hannah. Cam tries to interrupt Mike twice but Mike is not having it. Then Cam sits down with AH and Jonathan interrupts like 30 seconds later. Too funny. The whole time JPJ is just MONCHING on some chicken nuggets. What is with the chicken nuggets this season???

Next up is Connor’s 1-1. But it’s canceled and Chris Harrison doesn’t even bother to come tell Connor! CH can’t be bothered with this trivial stuff! So apparently AH passed out (from being so hungover is my guess!) and went to the hospital for fluids. So she invites Connor over to her hotel suite to chill out and honestly it’s about the best date ABC has orchestrated because they can actually talk! Connor brings flowers, a card, and chicken soup and it’s v sweet. They chat and make out (after AH tells Connor she’s not contagious) then AH kicks him out so she can nap. Yay for her! Later AH finds that Connor has left post it notes all over the room for her to find that list all the things he loves about her. V sweet again!

That night Connor is at the mansion with the other guys when a limo pulls up and the driver tells Connor he has 15 minutes to look sharp. Connor is taken to meet up with AH who gives him the rose then they dance to a private concert.

The next day is another group date and we find out that Tyler G (WHO???) left! But no reason is given and after some Shanny PI sleuth work I couldn’t find any info either. I HAVE QUESTIONS ABC!!!!

For this group date ABC is pimping out The Secret Life of Pets 2 (which is interesting since it’s not a Disney film and Disney owns ABC). The guys have to do a photo shoot with animals! SO fun! There’s a pig and a mini horse and lots of dogs, etc. Demi’s back to secretly watch the guys with 2 hired actors to see if anyone is shady. One of the actors is an animal handler and the other is a makeup artist. They are both super flirty but no one falls for it. Smart boys! Demi has the best line of the episode “Grant looks scared. That snake is bigger than his own.” HA!!!

So the entire photo shoot Luke P is acting like he’s never even seen the show before and is low key pissed that AH is kissing on other guys. He gets SUPER clingy and upset and is following AH all around the photo shoot. AH is not having it. She’s totally acting like a girl who made out hardcore with a dude the night before when she was drunk then sobered up and realized her mistake. Oh wait, that’s exactly what happened!

That night AH pulls Luke P aside and tells him to slow his roll. Luke then tells the camera “I’m going to act like that conversation never even happened.” Luke P- a pillar of respect for women! Not a stalker at all! And right then I know that he’s got to be the guy who slut shames her later in the season (from the previews). Back to the cocktail party- Luke keeps interrupting AH and the other guys and AH keeps sending him away. It’s SO desperate and pitiful. Bless. At one point Luke goes right up to AH and asks to talk AGAIN and she says no, AGAIN. So Luke gets all pouty and tells the guys he’s thinking about going home. Real mature.

As AH is about to give out the group date rose she pulls Luke aside and tells him one more time to straighten up and fly right. Then she gives Peter the rose. I think I’ve decided Peter is my favorite. He’s too cute and seems really genuinely sweet.

The next day CH shows up to tell them there’s no cocktail party tonight, but there will be a tailgate party today. ABC has decked out the patio areas with hay bales and AH says “it feels like home” and the Southern stereotype is shoved down our throats yet again. Sigh. Before AH arrives Cam asks all the guys to let him talk to her first because he has something super important to discuss with her. Always Be Cam is mentioned again by Cam and I’m so sick of this knucklehead right now. Cam pulls AH aside right in the middle of the party and right after she says she doesn’t want any heavy talk. Cam tells her this long winded sob story involving a leg amputation (!!!) and a puppy and a grandma dying and I’m so confused! Does the man have a peg leg?? I WANNA SEE!!!!

Mike tells AH later what Cam told all the guys and that Cam was going for the pity rose. So AH confronts the 2 flesh legged Cam and tells him it all feels slimy. Cam has the gall to look shocked and appalled!

Rose Ceremony- Ok so we all know at this point that Cam and a couple of randos are going home tonight. Sure enough, Jonathan, Joey (pity, he was kinda cute), and Cam go home, but not before Cam talks about himself in the 3rd person again! UGH take your 2 legs and get the hell out of here Cam!!!

During the credits AH waxes Garrett’s chest and it’s pretty great!
That’s all until next week my BBs! xo 🌹