BBs- it’s time for one of my favorite episodes! All of the season’s drama condensed into one episode. But this season has been a bit of a yawn fest, so am I expecting too much??
We start with Jesse and Zach gate crashing Bachelor viewing parties, which does not bode well for the Women Tell All part of the evening. Finally Jesse introduces the women and I swear there are ladies there I’ve never seen before! Night one girls who were sent home before we could learn their names I suppose.
They show a montage of all the drama that took place this season, then the ladies just start in on each other! Everyone is talking over everyone else and it’s pure chaos. Also, there is so much highlighter, bronzer, and fake tanner on that stage it looks like a herd of oompa loompas exploded!
The first subject of the ladies’ ire is Christina Mandrell. Cracks me up how she’s the only woman allowed a last name. We GET it. You’re famous adjacent! Anyway, the girls are talking about how mean Christina was on the show and she’s just sitting there with her orange hands (you gotta wear gloves when you apply the fake tanner, sweetie) not saying a word. Finally she says she isn’t used to people saying she makes others feel uncomfortable and she just needs to learn to shut up. And BBs, that’s the last we hear from her all episode!
Jess takes the hot seat and Jesse makes sure to mention her body glitter! Bahaha!!! It WAS blinding, but you do you Jess!
Greer is next and Jesse says we have to address the controversy surrounding Greer’s tweets defending a friend who wore blackface. Jesse notes that the show hasn’t done a good job in the past addressing racist behaviors and boy is he right! Greer apologizes and says all the right things so let’s hope she (and others) have learned.
Kat & Charity follow Greer’s turn in the hot seat (separately) and their interviews about their journeys are v emotional but otherwise unremarkable.
Then it’s time for some deleted scenes and finally here’s the content I’m looking for! A twerking lesson! A tortilla slap fight! SO funny!
Zach comes on stage and the girls address him and their heartbreak and he’s just so blah. He offers some generic platitudes and we move on to bloopers. Zach is apparently a V sweaty man!
Next week is Fantasy Suites, or as Jesse delights in saying, SEX WEEK. Apparently Z decides there will be no sex but fails to hold up his end of the bargain so many, many tears ensue. Honestly, will he please just go ahead and pick Kaity and let’s be done with it? Why put Ariel and Gabi through all the heartache?
Finally, after hinting all night that he’s going to change one lady’s life, Jesse tells Charity that she’s the next Bachelorette! Yay! I called it! She’s so poised and beautiful, the Disney princess of Bachelor Nation.
Until next week BBs, xo 🌹