pop culture, tv

Bachelorette Week 3

Week 3. Hooboy! This week just devolves into a pure sh!tshow for lack of a better word. Let’s dive in shall we?

We begin back at the cocktail party. Yosef is still annoyed with the mild male nudity from last week’s strip dodgeball game. He keeps using the words “classless” and “distasteful”. Because we all know he’s a beacon of class and taste! He finds Clare and they sit down to talk. He starts off by saying he’s noticed some red flags from her. This is gonna go well!!!
Yo didn’t like it when C said “You guys are here for me”. Also, he was “absolutely appalled at the nudity. It’s so humiliating and degrading, silly and immature. A classless display. I expected more from the oldest bachelorette. You’re not setting the right example for my daughter. I’m ashamed to be associated with you.” WOW. Ok, 1. Has he not seen the show??? ABC isn’t worried about setting the class bar v high with this show! Lighten up dude!

Clare goes to say something about her mother dying and YO CUTS HER OFF. OMG.

Clare tells him to leave, natch. Yo is still shouting insults at her from across the courtyard “You’re not fit to be a mother for my child” and “I expected more from the OLDEST bachelorette”. Yikes.

All the other guys come running to her defense when they hear the hubbub but it’s Dale (of course) who comforts her. Clare then decides to end the cocktail party and go straight to the rose ceremony.

Rose Ceremony-

Dale gets the first rose (of course). You can almost hear all the other guys groan. Going home- Blake, Garin, and Tyler S.

The next day DeAnna from Bachelorette season FOUR shows up to counsel Clare. I have no idea who this woman is as I didn’t start watching until Emily’s season but could ABC not get any other Bachelorette to come talk to Clare??? Good grief! Anyway, they are sitting on the sofa chatting and from nowhere, C whips out a pair of Dale’s pants!!! And she starts sniffing them then has DeAnna sniff them and OMG I just vomited.

While Clare and DeAnna are chatting, all the guys who were picked to go on today’s group date are whiling away the hours waiting for their date to start. Finally, at dusk, C comes to the guys’ room and announces that the day portion of the date is canceled. YA THINK?!?

Cocktail Party-

Dale makes a big show of asking for a group hug after giving a big speech about how everyone needs to be respectful of each others’ time. Then Dale steals Clare away first and spends an HOUR making out in her room. SO RESPECTFUL. Clare is wearing shiny, satin shorts and a blazer and gives off a kinky real estate agent vibe tonight.

Finally Eazy goes to find Clare in her room and stands at the door long enough to hear some panting and clothes arranging. ALL the other guys are super annoyed at how little time they are getting with her and who could blame them??

Dale later has the nerve to go back for a 2nd time with Clare! After which he gets grilled by the guys. Clare comes back to the group and gives Dale the group date rose. The other guys are NOT happy to say the least!!! They continue to give Dale a hard time back at the house.

Zach J’s 1-1

It’s a spa date. YAWN. Basically they just get pedicures and facials and go swimming. The whole time C is annoyed with Zach’s energy (because he’s not Dale) and whines to the producers that she just wants to be with Dale. When C & Zach finish swimming she goes in for a kiss but then backs out and it gets really weird because Zach then grabs her forcefully trying to get that kiss. Dude, that’s not cool.

Back at the house (I know it’s a hotel suite but just go with me), some of the guys are gossipping saying that maybe Clare and Dale were communicating pre-show. Hmmmm.

Later, Zach is at Fake Dinner waiting on Clare when Chris Harrison shows up instead. NOT a good sign. CH says Clare’s not coming to dinner and Zach tries to say there was a misunderstanding but CH is like I don’t get paid enough for this, I’m going back to my margarita you fool. And Zach gets sent home.

Group Date 2-

It’s the next day and Clare is wearing some strange white spaghetti strapped shorts jumpsuit. She’s with Margaret Cho (LOVE) and they are in a small theatre of sorts. Turns out the guys are all going to roast each other. The audience will be the rest of the guys from the house. Mind you, ALL the guys have it out for Dale, saying he gets too much attention and time.

The guys all go after Dale. Every single one of them. Especially Bennet. It’s brutal!

Cocktail Party-

Clare arrives in a sparkly banana yellow dress and I want to slap her stylist. Clare pulls Bennet aside to chat first and lest you think she’s there to get to know Bennet, I promise you it’s still all about Dale. Bennet tries to talk about anything BUT Dale but Clare keeps asking about Dale.

And the pattern continues with every. other. guy. there. It’s Dale Dale Dale. Ugh, these poor guys! She’s not even pretending to be the slightest bit interested in them!!! Then, to rub salt in the wound, she refuses to give out the group date rose!!! The guys are NOT HAPPY. AND, when Clare is walking away with a producer, C says something about her fiance! Oooooh. Are they already engaged??? If so WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE???

Next week it all blows up and I can’t wait!!! Until then my BBs!!! 🌹