pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 6

We begin Week 6 just 2 days after we sat through week 5 and I think ABC owes us all a fruit basket AT THE VERY LEAST. I swear if this is 2 more hours of my life lost to infighting between the girls I’m going to throat punch Chris Harrison.

We are now in Santiago, Chile and I would LOVE it if Chris Harrison would ask these girls to point out their location on a world map. LOL good luck! Anyway, there are 10 girls left and Mykenna is STILL crying over there not being a cocktail party last week. Peter walks up to the group and asks Hannah Ann out for a 1-1 .

Hannah Ann’s 1-1~

HA & P tour Santiago on foot (which I still think is a budgetary cop out for the ABC producers. We need a dream date. Let’s make them walk around! Brilliant!) During their tour P finds out HA has never been in love and he shows concern over her young age. Oh LORT HERE WE GO. Look. Natasha is the only woman you have left who could balance a checkbook as all the other girls are still toddlers. You can’t tell me that you’re surprised a 23 year old has never been in love! She even says her longest relationship was 3 years and she cared for him but didn’t love him and I bet that’s because they were in high school!

Fake Dinner- P asks HA about her long term goals and she replies with “You only catch minnows in the shallow waters. I want to dive deep.” WHUT?? WTH is this jibberish HA? Of course, if I were in her shoes I’d have a hard time taking P seriously with that flesh colored maxi pad stuck to his forehead. P then asks if she’s really ready for all this and she’s all “Yep” but she’s looking worried because even my pug can tell he’s on the fence about giving her the rose tonight due to the age/never been in love/ready for this issues.

P walks away to think for a minute. HA scurries after him and blurts out through tears “I’m starting to fall in love with you” which is totally code for “Don’t send me home yet. I need more Insta followers!” P folds like a deck chair and gives her the rose.

Group Date~

The group arrives to the set of a telenovela and find out they will be starring in El Amor de Pedro. Kelley is cast as P’s abuela (grandmother) and abandons the script to make out with P. Mykenna is cast as the maid and crybabies about it all day UNTIL she gets to make out with P at the end of the day.

That night at the after party P tells Kelsey “We’ve overcome a lot”. Yeah. You’ve “overcome” Kels being a giant hot teary mess! P’s then talking with Victoria P and he says she’s more confident then he is in their relationship. And OMG! is he breaking up with her?? I’m so confused! It becomes clear that P is indeed breaking up with VP and VP flips a switch y’all. She goes stone cold and asks for a car service. P has to chase her to walk her out and she hugs him goodbye with about as much emotion as you’d hug that creep at work who’s always looking at your feet in an odd way.

Meanwhile Tammy has chosen a new victim- Mykenna. And that’s just mean. Mykenna is too easy of a target. She’s always crying and seems so fragile. Like a wine slinging baby bird.

Madison gets the group date rose, and I have to applaud her. You can tell P really likes her AND she stays out of the drama. Way to play the game sis!

1-1 with Victoria F

Vic F and P go to hang out with some horses. VF is playing the shy little wallflower again. I don’t like this act of hers. She sure isn’t a shy wallflower when it’s a modeling challenge! VF tells P she’s going back and forth in her head and all this is “hard”. Again, have you never seen the show?? EVERYONE says it’s hard when it gets to this point. Amazes me that these girls are shocked that he’s dating other women! Ugh.

Fake Dinner~

P says to VF “Why can’t you just let this be and not sabotage it. Talk to me.” and VF says “I’m trying I’m trying” and throws back her wine. I can’t hardly stand all the “likes”. Likelikelikelike sprinkled in their conversation like confetti. P- Do you want to be here? VF snapped her head around so fast and came back with “Of course. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” P tries to continue to talk to her and she says “OK I get it. I feel sick” and walks away. She goes into the restroom with a producer and just keeps saying I don’t know, I don’t know. She comes back to the table. P says “Nobody has given me so much so much grief.” and gives her the rose.

Back at the house another date card appears and it’s a 2-1 with Mykenna and Tammy. Frankly they are both getting on my nerves at this point. Tammy is a pot stirring narc and Mykenna is a weepy mess. But that’s beside the point. ABC- what is this mess? The 2-1 is BEFORE the cocktail party?? I remember when 2-1 dates were actually dramatic and occured in the desert or on an island! What a sham!

So Mykenna and Tammy go to meet up with P for their 2-1. Myk says to Tam “You made me find my damn voice. Kindness wins. Love wins.” She sounds like an after school special. P talks to Tam first and Tam lets the floodgates open. She says “this is me collecting information from Mykenna every day I’m with her.” OK. You sound like a psycho. Tam tells P that Myk packed her bags before the last group date.

P talks to Myk next with Tammy lurking in the background like a circling shark. Myk “I’m speaking my damn truth”. I swear it sounds like Myk just learned to curse and is trying out the word damn.

P rejoins Myk and Tam and says he trusts Myk and to Tam “can I walk you out”. Oooh snap. I would have sent them both home.

Rose Ceremony~

Uneventful. Sydney and Mykenna are going home. Which begs the question…why didn’t he just send Myk home during the 2-1?? Weird. Also, why are both Syd and Myk talking about themselves in the 3rd person during their exit interviews?? Shannon hates that!!!

Next week we’re in Peru! See you then BBs! xo 🌹