Bachelor Week 7

Week 7 is in Lima, Peru. There are 6 girls left. P still has what looks like a flesh colored papier mache project stuck to his forehead. Next week is Hometowns. Let’s dive in!

Before we get to the dates, P visits the remaining girls in their suite to tell them, once again, that he’s serious about all this and that they should be too. They have a champagne toast then P goes back to his room to FaceTime with his mom. His mom calls him Pachi!!!! OMG! I’m dying over this!!!

Madison’s 1-1~

P shows up to Madi’s date and he doesn’t have the bandage on his head anymore. He points this out to Madi and tells her they are going fishing. Madi is a stronger woman than I because at the mere mention of fishing I’d be out like trout.

They fish for about 30 seconds before spending the rest of the date making out on the boat. That night at Fake Dinner Madi says she has something to talk to P about. Turns out she’s really religious and so is her dad. Then GIRL. What are you doing on this show??? Have you not heard of the Fantasy Suites? What will Daddy and the Good Lord think then??? Ay Pachi, she’s in a pickle! P responds that he’s religious too, but his faith could be stronger. Basically he’s Christian Lite. P then tells Madi he’s falling in love with her and gives her the rose.

Natasha’s 1-1~

Natasha and P spend the day exploring the city and frankly I’m bored. There is ZERO romantic chemistry between them and I think the only reason she’s made it this far is because he’s terrified of her. My suspicions are validated at Fake Dinner when P talks about how bold and honest Nat is but doesn’t give her the rose. Girl you deserve better. Natasha leaves with her head held high.

Kelsey’s 1-1~

Kels gets another 1-1 and this time they go riding ATVs and race each other up a hill on foot. I’m seriously worried a medic will need to be called in when they get to the top of the hill. Peter hasn’t breathed this heavily since he was in that Windmill! At Fake Dinner Kels talks about her dysfunctional family and I finally feel like I can relate to her a bit since she’s not cursing someone out or crying over spilt champagne.

Kels gets the rose so we’re going to Iowa next week!

Instead of a Rose Ceremony, this week we are treated to a 3 on 1 date. Kelley is SUPER confident Pachi will keep her for Hometowns and send either Hannah Ann (the child) or Victoria (the hot mess) home. And at this point, while I’m not crazy about Kelley’s showboating here, I have to agree with her.

HA & P go off to talk first. HA pulls out this list of reasons why she likes P and I’m instantly transported back to 8th grade. The pink paper! The Is dotted with hearts. HEARTS!!! You just know she’s been practicing signing her name as HA Weber. Geez, the girl IS a child!

Kelley & P talk next and he’s looking at her with such a flat expression. Uh oh, Kell, things aren’t looking so good for you. She mentions that she’s been having fun again and P doesn’t like that. Kell- have you not seen the show? You should be weeping right now and declaring your love for a guy you’ve spent 45 minutes with total! Not making level headed points and having reasonable conversation!

Victoria & P talk last. P says he’s confused still from their last 1-1 and Vic sayd “You really wanna use our time to talk about that?” and “You’re always in a mood” and the next thing you know they are squabbling AGAIN. Look, if you’ve been on 1 date with someone and you’re already arguing? That does not bode well for the future! Vic is, not surprisingly, in tears again.

P picks up a rose and walks Vic to a SUV and just as I think he has ONE brain cell rattling around in that injured noggin, he gives Vic the rose! UGH.

P walks back to HA and Kelley and tells them each what he likes about their relationships. Then he gives HA the remaining rose. This man makes NO sense. HA breaks down sobbing while P walks Kelley to the waiting car.

Kelsey, Victoria, Hannah Ann, and Madison remain. Can’t wait for Hometowns! See you then BBs! 🌹