Bachelorette Week 8

Week 8. We’re in the Netherlands, y’all! Next week is Hometowns so this is an important week. Meaning, Alabama Hannah had better send Luke home now!!!
Jed gets the first 1-1 date and it’s so boring I almost nod off. They just walk around Amsterdam. But at least Jed didn’t bring his dang guitar. Thank the good Lord for that! They run into an older couple at a cafe who ask where AH & Jed are from and Jed replies “English”. I die a little inside just then. That right there is a prime example of why the world thinks Americans are dumb as rocks. At Fake Dinner AH shows up wearing one of Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits in a shocking red. AH tells Jed she’s falling in love with him (for some reason) and he gets the rose.
Tyler arrives to his 1-1 wearing painted on jeans so tight it’s unsettling. HOW he manages to mount a horse in those things is beyond me!!! They are supposed to be riding their horses around The Hauge but they can’t control their horses. AH just keeps telling hers to “Go, go.” UGH. Tyler and AH try pickled herring (vomit fish) and Ty can’t handle it. That’s the highlight of their boring date. What is going on? Is the budget too tight this season for anyone to do anything fun?
Fake Dinner- AH says the word “like” so much that I might like, throw something at my, like, tv! And she’s wearing a skin tight white shirt that’s supposed to be a dress. The neckline plunges so low they had to use 4 rolls of tape just to hold her boobs in! Tyler gets the rose.
Back at the hotel Connor gets all upset because Mike gets the last 1-1 of the week and he was cheated out of his 1-1 because AH was hungover. Er, sick. Yeah, sick. So Connor takes his 12 year old self to AH’s room. AH is NOT thrilled to see Connor and she quickly sends him home. It’s kinda pitiful though when Connor’s voice quivers as he’s leaving.
Mike’s 1-1. They go bike riding then draw each other at an art studio. Mike’s all serious about it but his picture of AH depicts her with serious corn teeth!!! That night at the museum AH is snotty crying looking at all the art. She’s still crying when Mike arrives for dinner and things are NOT looking good for him. I can tell she’s about to dump him but he’s holding out hope up till the last second. MIKE FOR BACHELOR!!!
Peter, Garrett, & Luke go on a group date the next day with AH who appears to be wearing a swim shirt with her tight floral skirt. Odd choice. They, AGAIN, don’t do anything on this date but go to some old building and sit around talking and making out. Luke IMMEDIATELY starts talking to AH about all the other guys in the house and plays the victim card again. AH then talks to Garrett who goes back & gets into it with Luke. Garrett has lost all his cuteness for me because he’s such a sh!t stirrer!!! Luke explodes and gets in Garrett’s face then drops lunch meat on G’s lap. Then Luke goes outside trying to talk to Peter, who’s not having it and walks away. There are 2 roses up for grabs and Peter gets one. And we all say Hallelujah!!!
I do have to say it’s kinda funny when Garrett asks Luke “Are you licking your lips because you’re attracted to me?”
That night at Fake Dinner Luke tells AH all about finding Jesus and seeing Heaven in the shower. I love a good testimony but Luke just creeps me out so much!!! Even Jesus can’t save Luke for me! I LOATHE him and his stupid plaid, plum jacket so much!!!
Garrett tells AH he loves her. I’m not G’s biggest fan but ANYONE is better for her than Luke at this point. And then it happens, AH gives the last Hometowns rose to Luke. WHY??? WHAT could she possibly see in him?? I mean if this is producer driven then they are treading in dangerous territory. There’s fun psycho for good tv then there’s scary, real life psycho that requires a restraining order!!!
As AH walks G out, Luke laughs and grins his psycho grin and I’m just so over him. Luke then carries AH out of the room and they kiss and it’s just gross.
Next week is Hometowns and I just know the crazy will get amped up to 1000!!! Until then BBs! xo 🌹

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