Ghosts

Being ghosted is no fun. Being ghosted by a BFF, dear, or close friend is even worse. I am a good friend. I’m kind and thoughtful and keep in touch. But over the last 3 years I’ve been ghosted by 2 close girlfriends. It hurts. Especially when you don’t know why.

Friend 1 and I texted almost daily and met for lunch monthly, then every 2 weeks, then once a week as our friendship grew. We met about 8 years ago when we were both working on the same team. We hit it off immediately. I even went to her husband’s milestone birthday party. Then she and her family moved about 2 hours away about 2 years ago. There were promises of meeting up in the middle and visits to both cities. But that never happened. She moved and then I just never heard from her again. It was so odd to me. How can you go from talking (via text) almost daily and seeing each other once a week to nothing? We didn’t have a falling out or argument or anything. Trust me I overanalyzed everything trying to figure out if I had done something wrong, something to offend, anything. Last December, when I posted on social media the end of our adoption effort she commented out of the blue her condolences. But nothing since then.

Friend 2 and I met just over 12 years ago at a Bunco party. We also hit it off right away. We became fast friends. She lived just around the corner from us and we started hanging out to watch movies, and tv together. We went out to eat, shopping, and even went on a couple girls trips together. She was my best friend. We talked all the time. Then she and her family moved 1200 miles away about 4 (?? I’m so bad with time) years ago. We still talked on the phone regularly and texted daily and even wrote old fashioned letters to each other. We sent care packages on birthdays. Then about a year ago she went through a divorce. It was really traumatic for her, but we stayed in touch. Until about 6 months ago. Again, nothing happened. No argument or event occurred that would end our friendship. She just stopped answering my texts, or would answer weeks later. A month or so ago I finally asked via text why are you ignoring my texts. She wrote back immediately and swore she wasn’t. That she was just busy and would forget to reply or would think she did reply when she didn’t. So I texted her back and caught her up on all the goings on in my life. I haven’t heard back.

It’s awful. I loved these women like sisters. Especially friend 2. I knew and cared about their families. It’s funny, I still keep up with an ex family member of Friend 2 on social. I miss these ladies. Especially Friend 2. I miss my best friend. I have other girlfriends, but not a BEST friend and that stings.

So if you’re reading this and are currently ghosting a girlfriend, please don’t. Please just be a grown up and tell her what’s going on. No one likes to be left hanging.

2 thoughts on “Ghosts

  1. As someone who had to move away from a lot of friends… it is hard to keep in touch long distance but social media helps so much! Letting someone hang on for so long… not cool. What a mystery!

    • I agree, it is hard to stay in touch long distance. And people get busy. But we all have 24 hours in the day, you know? I knew we wouldn’t stay as close but I didn’t expect to be ghosted!

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