BBs!!! It’s time for another season of the Bachelor! With the most boring Bachelor ever!!! But I’m a glutton for punishment, so here we are.
We have a new host- Jesse Palmer. UGH. I wanted Wells to be the new host, but you can’t always get what you want.
We start with a twist- a big one! One of the contestants, Salley, (that e is KILLING me) was formerly engaged and was supposed to be married yesterday!!! She’s debating leaving when she decides to go to Clayton’s room to meet him and talk. And they let her!!! This is unprecedented! So Salley tells C her story and that she may leave. C excuses himself for a moment and comes back with a rose!!! He offers her the rose, she says can I think on it, leaves the room for a while, comes back and TURNS HIM DOWN!!! Then she leaves the show. I have emotional whiplash from the whole thing!!!
Note- we are back at the LA mansion. I wrote down all the ladies’ names, ages, and occupations but y’all don’t need all that. Lemme just skip to the good stuff.
Kate, 32, walks up to C and whips out 2 airplane bottles of booze FROM HER BRA!!! She then forces the poor man to do a shot from one and calls the bottles her nips!!!
Melina, 27, literally JUMPS on the man in moon shoes. Girl catches air!
Jill, 26, brings an urn and says they are “the ashes of my ex-boyfriends in case you make the same mistake.” Okayyyyy.
Ivana, 31, walks up completely silent and just mimes to him a bit then walks inside. Note- her occupation? Bar Mitzvah dancer.
Kira, 32, a physician, walks up in her doctor coat and red bra and underwear. That’s it!
Gabby, 30, brings a pillow with C’s face on it and literally says on national tv “I just want to sit on your face”. DYING.
Hunter, 28, from Charlotte! Brings a giant yellow snake wrapped around her neck. Y’all, that first night is a LONG one and you know that snake had to poop at some point!
I do have to say, there’s lots of diversity among the women and that’s progress, even if the ladies are acting like they haven’t seen a man in the flesh since March 2020.
Teddi (my favorite) gets the first kiss.
Claire talks with Clayton and they play cornhole. Then another lady walks up to steal him away. Afterwards, Claire goes around the house telling everyone that her time with him was awful and she can’t marry America’s sweetheart!!! Honey, America’s sweetheart is QUITE the stretch, but I get where you’re coming from. Another girl tells C about the bad mouthing and C sends Claire home.
Teddi gets the 1st impression rose! Yay!!!
The sun is coming up!!! I told y’all it’s a long night!!! Serene gets the first rose. She is stunning. Going home: Ivana, Daria, Hailey, Jane, Lindsay D, Rianna, and Samantha.
Then ABC does the whole “this season on the Bachelor” thing and shows the entire show again! We KNOW what’s going to happen so why watch??? UGH ABC, you don’t get it!!!
And that’s it until next week BBs!!! xo🌹