pop culture, tv

Bachelorette Week 9 Recap

It’s Fantasy Suite time BBs!!! For this momentous occasion, ABC flies everyone to Mexico! I find this interesting because why couldn’t they fly to their respective hometowns but Mexico is ok? Hmmmm. Curious.

First up is Brandon. Brandon and Michelle go horseback riding in the jungle then on the beach. I can’t take Brandon seriously. He professes his love for Michelle every 30 seconds. EVERYTHING they do is the MOST ROMANTIC thing he’s ever done. It’s just all so over the top. Case in point, the man literally says “I can’t wait to literally rip my heart out, throw it on the table, and just say, do what you want with it, because it only beats for you at this point.” I MEAN. So the next morning comes and they are fully clothed. Like, he’s in a HOODIE. It’s so G rated it’s almost funny!

Joe is next. Joe’s been agonizing over these Fantasy Suite dates. They go zip lining and Joe screams Michelle’s name over and over! Save it for tonight Joe!!! 😂 Later, Michelle commends Joe on being vulnerable and open and I’m just not seeing that. You can barely hear the man speak! They spend the night together (I mean, what man is turning down the Fantasy Suite?) and that’s about it. Joe is super cute but BORING.

Finally, Nayte is up. Nayte’s been the most relaxed about these dates, saying he focuses on his own connection, which is a smart idea…but he also is just now realizing 2 other guys are in serious relationships with his girlfriend. Yikes. Nayte and Michelle go out on a catamaran on the ocean. Their physical chemistry is palpable. AND Michelle says she has never felt like she does when she kisses Nayte. Uh, Brandon and Joe? Might wanna pack your bags. Nayte and Michelle spend the night together only after Michelle leads Nayte into telling her he loves her over Fake DInner. Mind you he JUST last week told his stepdad who raised him that he loves him FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! The next morning they look like something big went down last night. Michelle says she’s in love with Nayte but I don’t think he’s ready for an engagement, despite what he says. He is still talking about how he’s never been in love until now. Not that you can’t marry your first love but when you’ve only spent a total of 72 hours with someone, it may not work out in the end.

The Rose Ceremony

Nayte gets the first rose, natch. But before that can happen, Brandon pulls Michelle aside to gush about how much he loves her and he’ll be here for her even if she sends him home. Again, it’s just too much!!! BTW, Michelle looks amazing in a sparkly dress that’s giving me mermaid vibes. Brandon gets the last rose. And here is where I predict Michelle is going to pick Nayte at the end. She hasn’t told Brandon she’s in love with him, just Nayte. With Brandon she throws around words like “best friend”. Anyway, Joe goes home crying in the car and I feel badly for him. But he’ll do alright back in Minneapolis I’m sure!!!

Until next week’s 3 hour (LORD HELP ME) finale BBs!!! xo🌹