Bachelorette Week 7

Happy Drinksgiving!!! It’s time for Week 7 BBs!!!


We start out with the guys all bellyaching about last night. Chris Harrison arrives and announces that the guys who were not on the group date last night have to write a love song and perform it for Tayshia to win a 1-1 with her. Zac, Kenny, Blake, & Riley deliver some pretty pitiful performances, but bless em, they tried. Bennet proceeds to RAP (mind you he’s the white Harvard boy) about Brie in Paris. It’s painful. Ivan and Demar sing some pretty good songs! Ivan even brings Tay up on stage, and for that he wins.


So that night Ivan goes to Tayshia’s suite and you could tell the producers were really scratching their heads about what could the two of them do on their date that would be allowed on air at 8pm on ABC?? So they played the floor is lava and Twister and had a pillow fight, etc. They actually ordered and ate REAL DINNER from room service, including a ginormous ice cream sundae that seriously would have fed the entire resort!!! Then Tay and Ivan go outside to chat. Ivan gets deep and shares about his little brother who spent some time in jail. Their conversation turns to Black Lives Matter and their personal experiences growing up mixed race in America. I applaud ABC for not cutting this part of the date! WAY TO GO! For real. Ivan, of course, gets the rose. I like Ivan. If this were a non Covid season of the Bachelorette, I’m not sure he’d have lasted this long, as he’s quiet and not obnoxious. But I think he’d be good for Tay. He has a real job! And is intelligent! Godspeed Ivan!


The next day Becca and Sydney arrive to “help” with the group date. Which is basically a wacky version of Truth or Dare. The guys all have to do the dares during the day, the truth part will be at the after party. They split up into groups of 2 and have to do things like drink nasty smoothies with bull testicles, find CH and have him sign their tushies, etc. CH is eating crab legs and having champagne when 2 of the guys find him to sign their bodies. I KNEW CH was living the high life when he was off camera!!!


One of the dares is that the guys have to make orgasm noises into the hotel’s PA system over the phone. If this is really how Blake hits bingo, I feel so sorry for whoever he’s normally sharing that moment with because the man sounds possessed! I never want to hear that again. Shudder.


The last task is to eat a whole habanero pepper and fake propose to Tay. Bennet cracks me up because it’s during this dare that he realizes he actually has real feelings for someone other than himself and the boy is shooketh!


Tay arrives to the after party looking so pretty. Her stylist is doing right by her and I am here for it! Bennet seems so rose driven to me, even with these newfound feelings. Hmmmm. The guys are all supposed to be revealing truths tonight but nothing major comes out except that Bennet was engaged once before. And there’s not much talking between Zac and Tay as they are making out feverishly in the hot tub. I’m shocked she didn’t end up pregnant!!!


Later that night, like 2:30 am later, both Ed and Ben decide independently that they are going to surprise Tay in her room. Ed knocks on the door and it’s CHs room! He then asks if Tayshia is there! Bahahaha!!!! No Ed, the budget isn’t THAT tight. They gave Tay her own room! CH invites Ed in for wine and it’s so awkward! I’m dying!!!!


Meanwhile, Ben successfully makes it to Tay’s suite and offers up an apology for not stepping up to talk with her on his group date. He’s ordered champagne and strawberries and Tay accepts his apology. Is it just me or does Ben seem to have lots of free space in his mouth? It’s like a gaping chasm! A black hole! Anyway, Tay appreciates the gesture so I guess that’s what matters.


The next night at the Cocktail Party Tay looks stunning in a high necked, long beaded white gown. It looks embossed to in some way, if that makes sense. Anyway, Ben steals her away first. Then Noah sits down to talk to her and he’s looking so cute sans pornstache! UNTIL….DUN DUN DUN!!! He turns into a pot stirrer right before our eyes! Noah goes and tells Tay that the guys in the house are questioning her intentions and integrity, saying that she only gave Noah a rose to stir up drama in the house. WHOA. This doesn’t sit well with Tay, natch, who marches back to the group and gives them all the what for. And the thing is, they didn’t deserve it! But she doesn’t know that. Tay cancels the rest of the cocktail party and the guys are seriously puzzled and pissed! Only 2 guys got time with her tonight. The guys quickly figure out that Noah was the last guy with her and Noah tells them he told Tay that the guys all said she only gave him the rose for show. The guys are LIVID. Bennet says I’m here for love, not to be breastfeeding Noah. Ha!


Rose Ceremony-

Ed looks like your grumpy drunk cousin standing there. Ugh. I’m so over him. But miraculously he gets the final rose of the night! Going home: sweet Joe, cringey Kenny, creepy Chasen, and forgettable Jordan.


Until next week my Bbs!!! Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!!! 🌹

Bachelorette Week 6

Week 6! A v dangerous episode!!! We start with a group date right off the bat. Tay looks so cute! Whoever is styling her is doing a good job so far. I have to admit I’m curious to see each week what the ABC producers can come up with for dates while confined to this resort. This week the producers are all clearly drunk and/or out of ideas because we are presented with The Grown Ass Man Challenge. WHERE IS MY COCKTAIL??? I must start drinking while watching this show!!!


So Bennet is bragging nonstop about how he went to Harvard and how intelligent he is and yet the man can’t spell limousine! Yes, my BBs, we are forced to watch the guys go through some basic spelling and math problems to prove they are Grown Ass Men. Bennet doesn’t get a single question right, much to the delight of the other guys.


Then we move on to feats of strength where the guys have to play a knockoff version of Ellen’s Aw, Snap game (my favorite!). Basically 2 men are leashed to each other with a bungee and have to race to grab a bouquet of flowers at opposite ends of the room. So fun to watch! But Bennet bows out, claiming an old football injury. Yeah, right….


Next up is a Breakfast in Bed challenge where the guys have to make Tay breakfast and serve it to her in bed. Chasen doesn’t even do the bare minimum. He just takes his shirt off and says he’s the entree. GAG. Bennet, however, steps up and makes beignets!!! He is dressed in just a robe and gets in bed with Tay and feeds her. Apparently this is enough for the judges (Ashley I and Jared -who really needs to wash and cut his hair. I mean, I know Covid has been rough on all of us but ABC couldn’t spare a stylist for 5 minutes??). I digress. Bennet wins the challenge and Ed loses. As punishment Ed has to carry a baby doll around for the rest of the night.


After Party-


Bennet arrives still in his robe. Tay comes out and sits down with the group and before she can get a word out, Bennet tries to steal her away for a chat. Tay says can I at least say hi to everyone? The groups toasts then Chasen (with his creepy mouth- there’s just something about it) swoops in and takes Tay away to chat.


While Chasen is gone the other guys talk about how they don’t like him. Mainly Ed & Bennet. They think he’s a fake and a phony. As the night goes on, Tay’s having a great time chatting and making out with the guys. But Ed & Chasen’s beef is heating up. Chasen starts calling himself Wolverine, and eventually gets in Ed’s face. Ivan gets the rose.


OMG Chasen SHUT UP about your inner Wolverine!!! I swear between hearing Grown Ass Man and Wolverine thrown around at the rate of 30 times a minute I’m about to poke out my ear drums!!!


The next night is the pre- rose ceremony Cocktail Party. Chasen begins the night by arguing with Ed some more and telling all the guys that Tay is a SMOKE SHOW. Keeping it Klassy! Ben grabs Tayshia to chat first and things are going well with all the guys until Ed brings up Chasen to Tay. Come on Ed! Don’t you watch the show?? The snitch never stays!!! Tay sits Chasen down for a talk and then Chasen actually goes to apologize (sort of) to Ed but Ed escalates it and then they are shouting and other guys have to break it up.


Rose Ceremony-

Chasen can’t stop won’t stop calling Tay a smoke show and my ears are bleeding. WHO told this guy that women like that term?? Ed & Chasen get the last 2 roses. UGH. Going home- 3 guys I had no idea were even on this show! Montel, Peter, and Jay. Bye guys! We hardly knew ye!


The next day is another group date. It’s a wrestling match in the dank basement of the hotel and OF COURSE Ed and Chasen are on the date. The guys all warm up and loosely learn some wrestling moves then are told they’ll be wrestling in front of a live audience tonight.


Tonight comes and it turns out the live audience is comprised of the other guys in the house who are not on the date and the camera crew. Chris Harrison and Wells Adams (💗💗💗) are calling the match. Tay oils all the guys up and we start out with Joe vs Eazy. OMG! Why are they wanting to kill Joe??? He seems nice enough!!! Eazy is built like a mack truck, or as CH would say “a brick outhouse” and Joe is…not. All the guys wrestling are going HARD. This is supposed to be fun guys! But there are guys being slammed on the ground and knees being skinned and there’s blood! Medic! Next up is Chasen vs Ed and before the match can start Ed goes to CH and cries about his tricky shoulders so he can bow out of the match. Now there’s no one to wrestle Chasen. Chris asks if anyone wants to wrestle Chasen and all of a sudden Porn Stache Noah jumps the fence and volunteers. Noah wasn’t even ON THE DATE!!! They wrestle and Chasen wins and somehow wins the entire event. Tay invites Noah to the after party. The other guys on the date are livid that Noah has crashed their date!


After Party-

Noah grabs Tay first, natch, while the other guys stew. Tay tells Noah she wants to shave that stache! YAY!!!! I’ve never loved Tay more. She chats with the other guys one by one then as she’s with Justin (??? I think, who knows??) Noah comes back and interrupts. Tay shaves his pornstache right off and you know what? The kid is cute!!! Now that that horrid thing is off his face I’m kinda digging him!!! Ok, not really.


Tayshia goes back and sits down with the group and Ben asks to go talk. Tay says the night’s over and you should have come for me earlier. Then she gives Noah the group date rose. The other guys are BUMMED!!!


And that, my BBs, is it for this week! 🌹xo

Bachelorette Week 5

Week 5! Tayshia’s first official week!

The episode starts with all the guys gathered, waiting to meet the Mystery Bachelorette. In walks Tayshia and jaws literally drop. Tay introduces herself and speaks to just about every guy one on one until Chris Harrison appears and pulls her away. Turns out there’s a limo with some men in it waiting to meet Tayshia! I like that ABC is throwing some fresh meat into the mix so it’s not ALL Clare’s leftovers, although the original 16 aren’t as happy as I am with this arrangement.

Out of the limo steps Spencer, 30, Water Treatment Engineer and he is CUTE. Tay thinks so too.

Montel, 30, Gym Owner. Montel’s sporting a bright pink jacket tonight. Bold choice!

Peter, 32, Real Estate Agent. He’s cute.

Noah, 25, Registered Travel Nurse. Noah comes with a JANKY pornstache. Bleh!

All the new guys go inside and Tay joins the group and starts chatting them all up again. At the end of the night Tay gives Spencer the 1st impression rose and a kiss.

CH comes in, signaling that it’s time for the Rose Ceremony, but Tay cancels it and does not send anyone home.

Then ABC shows us a preview of the season, then cuts to CH in a studio. It’s time to talk to Clare & Dale. Clare comes out first and I don’t hate her dress. She tells CH it was love at first sight for her with Dale. Dale joins Clare on the sofa and they seem really in love, which is a ding dang miracle considering they spent like 2 hours together before they got engaged! But I follow Dale on the Gram and Clare’s constantly in his posts so I guess it’s the real thing. Mazel! CH asks them one more time did they communicate in any way before the show and they swear they did not.

Back to Tay and the boys.

Group Date-


All the guys on the group date go out to the pool and Tayshia rises from the depths in a hot little bikini. They guys all start drooling on cue. They all frolic in the pool for a bit then CH tells them it’s not a pool party, but a competition. Splashball to be exact, which is apparently basketball in a pool. The team that wins the game gets a Barbeque with Tay. The guys all change into their tiny speedos and the game begins. It gets a little dramatic when Riley elbows Spencer in the mouth and Spence is bleeding like a fountain. He handles it well and Tay comes to check on him. Riley, don’t you know it’s the injured that gets the attention? Not the injurer? The Blue team wins the bbq but ABC doesn’t show us any of it.

After party-

All the group date guys are invited back for the after party. Eazy tells Tay he feels like he’s met his wife!!!

Tay kisses Zach and my head spins. I can not figure out her taste in men!!! Meanwhile the group date guys are ganging up on Spencer telling him he’s a d!ck. Eazy ends up getting the group date rose. I guess coming on strong is the way to go!

Later, Jason decides to leave as he still has feelings for Clare! I guess that Psych 101 date he had with Clare did a number on his head…and heart.

Brendan’s 1-1


The next day is Brendan’s 1-1 and I honestly don’t even remember this dude at all. Tayshia rides up to the group on a horse looking cute in a cowboy hat. She and Brendan ride the horses around the resort and CH keeps popping out of the shadows with coconuts & margaritas etc JUST as Brendan’s about to try and kiss Tay. It’s a riot! After the horse ride they go swimming and Brendan finally gets his kiss.

Fake Dinner


Brendan tells Tay he was married before at a young age. He was so nervous to tell Tay, but Tay says she was married at a young age too. Brendan is boring me to tears but for some reason Tay likes him and gives him the rose. They then go and make out while fireworks are going off. Tay really likes him. Lucky man.

Credits

Noah is trimming up his janky pornstache while Bennet and Ed rip on Noah and his stache. It’s pretty funny!


And that is all for this week! Until next time BBs.

🌹

The Bachelorette Week 4

Week 4 is finally here. The week the 💩 hits the fan! Let’s go!

This episode starts out with all the guys who aren’t Dale complaining about Dale and Clare. Clare’s busy doodling Dale + Clare 4 ever in her journal when Chris Harrison arrives. CH tells Clare the guys are unhappy. Clare tells Chris she’s head over heels for Dale. When CH asks, Clare swears on her dad’s grave that she and Dale never communicated before the show. She just ogled his IG account on the daily.

Clare cancels the cocktail party AND rose ceremony tonight and this doesn’t sit well with the guys. CH pulls Dale aside and informs him he gets to have a date with Clare while the other guys just stew in their premature emotions.
Clare appears later tonight in the tackiest red dress I’ve ever seen. It was clearly created in the HOUSE OF SIN. Dale arrives in a suit and daggggggummmm he wears it well. He looks so good I totally understand why Clare would break all the rules to hang with this tall drink of water. Whew. Got a lil thirsty there!

At Fake Dinner C&D talk about their parents and how both of their dads were hitch hikers! Now that’s a solid foundation for marriage if I’ve ever seen one! Clare tells Dale she’s falling in love with him and he says the same. They walk over to these musicians and it’s Chris and Bri from Listen to Your Heart. Wow. Their careers are skyrocketing!!! C&D make out for a hot minute in from of Chris and Bri and then high tail it to Clare’s room where you can imagine what happens next. BOOM. 💥

The next morning they wake up in bed with the dress of sin lying crumpled on the floor. They have some pillow talk and then Dale leaves Clare’s room. He thinks there’s still plenty of time left in this process. Poor kid. CH comes over to see Clare and tells her the proposal is TONIGHT. Ummmm, that’s great and all but don’t you think someone should inform Dale???

All the other guys gather in the house and Clare arrives. Without CH in tow. CH is clearly somewhere sipping a martini because he’s worked harder this episode than he has all season! Clare then tells the guys it’s Dale she wants and that’s it. Kenny then tells Clare to apologize to the group. DUDE. You just spent like 3 weeks in a luxury resort, got on tv, and some of you got to make out with Clare. Clare owes you NOTHING Kenny. But, Clare apologizes for wasting their time. The guys all give her hugs and she leaves. Clare goes and cries to a couple producers about how hard that was. Meanwhile, all the guys are v v skeptical about Dale’s emotional involvement.

Back in Dale’s room, where’s he’s been isolated all day, he thinks he still has all the time in the world to just hang with Clare, no labels. Just then, CH appears and tells Dale Clare broke up with all the other guys. CH says Clare’s waiting for a proposal and Dale visibly goes into shock and poops his pants.

CH then goes to check on Clare, who’s crying because she’s worried she’s more into this whole thing than Dale is. Cut to Dale holding a ring box with a look of abject shock and awe on his face.

That night Clare’s dressed in a white dress. Is this woman going to force a wedding tonight too??? Clare takes her place by the final rose. Next thing you know, CH walks up to her. Clare’s face drops when CH says he has something to tell her. My heart skips a beat. CH says “We’re all so proud of you”. DAMMIT CH you just about gave us all heart attacks! You KNOW that was his revenge because he’s had to work so hard this week for that paycheck! CH then goes to get Dale, who clearly has Stockholm Syndrome. Are you ready? Dale- Uhhhh.

But then, here comes Dale through the door and he is WEARING that suit. Hell, I’d say yes!!! Clare gives a little speech about how perfect he is and then it’s Dale’s turn. He says a few really sweet things and then SWEET KELLY CLARKSON he gets down on one knee! He’s doing it!!! And I don’t see a gun to his head! He proposes with a hefty ring and of course Clare says yes! Clare- I felt it. Dale- I accepted it. Me- I really should be drinking wine while watching all this.

Dale picks Clare up after accepting the final rose and the walk off into the night.

Next Day

The leftovers, um, I mean the remaining men, are all packing up and sulking. CH arrives and fills the guys in on the engagement, then tells them they have until tonight to decide if they want to continue their journeys or go home. Can you forget all about a woman you’ve known for 2 weeks in the next 7 hours??

There are 16 guys left and they all decide to stay. Even Jason, who is still in shock over his therapy date with Clare, and Blake, who acts like he and Clare dated for years instead of just 2 hours. The guys all gather and CH tells him their new Bachelorette is on her way now. Tayshia arrives looking beautiful in a questionable dress. Who told her olive green was appropriate for evening wear?? Just as she’s walking through the door, the episode ends!

Until next week my BBs!!! 🌹