pop culture, tv

Bachelor Season 24 Week 1

Bachelor BBs!!!! We are back!!! This time the Bachelor is 28 year old Delta pilot Peter Weber. Ok, so it has to be said. Yet ANOTHER white dude. Why ABC, could you not pick Mike Johnson??? Sigh. Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore our handsome pilot, but some diversity on this show would go a long way ABC!!!

Let’s get down to it. We have 3 hours (!!!) of content to discuss! Let’s start with the limo arrivals, shall we?

Alayah 24- beautiful dress. Gives Peter a letter from her grandma for them to read together later. Odd.

Sydney 24

Hannah Ann 23- a model. Declares upon entering the mansion “I’m in love!”

Sarah 24 another beautiful dress. So far the fashion choices are looking much better this season!

Lauren 26 Well. I may have spoken too soon. She’s wearing a sequined jumpsuit!!! I hope that girl’s thighs don’t touch because if they do we are talking serious chafe by the morning!

Victoria P 27 – does a happy dance with P

Mykenna 22 – fashion blogger.

Muarissa 23 – soooo cute. But her underboob situation is worrying me. I see a wardrobe malfunction in her future!

Kelsey 28

Eunice 23 – thinks being a flight attendant who arrives wearing wings will make her stand out.

Jade 26 -flight attendant

Megan 26 – flight attendant

Madison 23 -basketball & Daddy’s girl

Tammy 24

Shiann 27 -brings P a barf bag

Courtney 26 -rides in on a toy airplane

Kiarra 23 -arrives packed in a suitcase!!!

Lexi 26 -drives up in a vintage red Corvette

Deandra 23- walks up with a windmill on her back

Peyton 23

Jasmine 25

Kylie 26 -an Entertainment Sales Associate. Is that code for hooker? Brings P a strip of condoms!

Katrina 28 -says to P “You’re gonna fall in love with my hairless pussy…..cat” and shows a pic of a hairless cat. TRASHY

Victoria F 25

Jenna 22 -brings an emotional support cow

Savannah 27 -blindfolds P then kisses him

Kelley 27 -met P a month prior in a hotel lobby. He remembers her.

Alexa 27 – so cute. Esthetician

Avonlea 27 -cattle rancher

and finally Natasha 31.

Then Hannah Brown (Alabama Hannah) arrives. She gives P back the wings he gave her on the first night they met.

This episode is FLYING by (no pun intended). Time for the cocktail party. Some thoughts: P sits down with Alayah and reads the sweet letter from Grandma.

I gotta tell ya, there are so many BOOBS on the screen tonight! Not a bra to be found for miles around that mansion!!! And the lash extension industry & boob tape sales must be booming!!! Madison says “LIKE” so much I want to slap her! She has a great butt.Hannah Ann (from here on known as HA because that’s a long name) and her dad painted P a picture of the Smoky Mountains since she’s from Tennessee. It’s beautiful until you get to the row of dancing vaginas across the bottom!!! P kisses her. First kiss of the night initiated by P.

Tammy cuffs P then searches him then makes him kiss her to get uncuffed.

Natasha is talking to P when Mykenna asks to steal P by throwing paper airplanes at them. Natasha says no! P says gives us a minute. Mykenna interrupts again with more planes. She’s clearly not trying to make friends. So Mykenna and P talk and kiss then Natasha comes back with a HUGE (like 4 feet long) paper airplane and pokes Mykenna with it. I toast their pettiness! Then Nat comes back AGAIN sipping tea saying “tick tock!” Hilarious! Dang, P is kissing SO many girls!

HA interrupts a girl with P. Mind you she’s already had time with him (remember the dancing vaginas picture?). Then she interrupts ANOTHER girl for her 3rd time with P when she says “There’s one thing Hannah Ann wants- a kiss”. I LOATHE it when people talk about themselves in the 3rd person!!!Shiann confronts AH about the interruption and AH shuts her down. So Shiann cries.

Dang but the vocal fry is STRONG with this group of women. It’s making my ears bleed!!!

More girls are starting to cry for being interrupted. HA gets first impression rose. Not surprised. I predict she will be top 10 with Victoria P & Madison.

And just like that it’s time for the 1st Rose Ceremony. I told ya, ABC has picked up the pace and I’m here for it!

Rose Ceremony~Victoria P gets the 1st rose. Tammy sounds just like Miley Cyrus and while I like her personality, I don’t know if I can hang with that voice all season.

Kelsey’s nose is sooo thin I’m legit concerned for her ability to breathe!!!

Going home- 8 girls! Katrina (thank the good Lord), Kylie, Maurissa (sad!), Avonlea, Eunice, Jade, Jenna, and Megan. There are many tears!

1st Group Date~

Lest we forget that Pilot Pete is a Pilot who flies airplanes, ABC has the 1st group date at an airplane hangar. 2 NO NONSENSE women come out and declare the girls are all going to Flight School. The 1st question is math and the girls are all panicking. The 3 brain cells they share are working hard to answer these questions.

Next up is spinning around in a gyroscope! Victoria P gets major motion sickness and talks about a traumatic spinning teacups ride from her childhood that still haunts her to this day! But she womans up and does the ride then promptly throws up. P brings her water and checks on her and get this- Victoria P says “I’ve never had someone care for me that way.” HOW SAD IS THAT?!?! Men are straight trash and just need to do better as a gender!!!

Then there’s an obstacle course. Kelley wins by cheating and gets to go flying with P. All the other girls gather for the after party at a hotel. The very same hotel where Kelley and P first met. Coincidence? I think not!!! Kelley comes to join the others and is met with crickets level silence and jealousy.

Later, Kelley interrupts Shiann’s time with P (ballsy) and that sets Shiann off crying again. Kelley gets the rose. Shocker.

1-1 Date with Madison~

Peter takes this complete stranger Madison to his parents’ house and VOW RENEWAL!!! P officiates and OF COURSE Madison catches the bouquet! Later at Fake Dinner Mad gets the rose and some kisses. Then they dance to some band I’ve never heard of but they know all the words. P’s family comes and joins them for dancing.

2nd Group Date~

The group and P arrive at a theatre and P tells the girls a “good friend” is planning this date. They walk in and Alabama Hannah is there standing on stand next to a giant windmill. I just can’t with all the windmill references!!! Get over it! They had sex!!! Move on!!!

AH describes her love story with Peter to the group then tells the girls they have to share a sex story in front of a live audience. The girls get a pad and pen and get to work on their stories. Meanwhile, AH is crying her makeup off backstage where P finds her. Like BIG crying. Obviously they still have major feelings for each other. AH admits she thinks about why did she send P home every day. What I want to know is where does AH get her rinky dink cheap ass jewelry? That flower ring?? Come on ABC, give a girl a good stylist! P asks AH would she like to join the house and compete for his love?? AH says maybe! The episode ends with them both confused and in tears.

So what happens next? Do P & AH run away together? Do we get a new Bachelor next week? Who knows?!? We’ll find out next week!!! Until then BBs! xo 🌹