We moved around a lot while I was growing up, so I don’t have one of those lifelong friends. I mean, I have Sara, but she’s my sister so she doesn’t count when I’m talking about non blood relative friends. I’ve often envied people who are lucky enough to have friends they’ve known all their lives. On the other hand, I’m glad we moved around to some extent because it taught me to be outgoing and friendly and I met all sorts of people because of it. All this means that friends have come in and out of my life my whole life. At first it would be devastating losing a friend. When you’re in 3rd grade and you move and you don’t have the internet or Twitter or texting on your mobile phones then staying in touch becomes much more difficult. Recently I reconnected with some friends from middle & high school (I went to 3 high schools) and I saw that the core group of them are still friends who get together all the time and vacation together. I love that.
It never got easy for me to leave a friend behind, or to lose a friend, or to -in rare cases- break up with a friend. But the older I get the more I’ve come to realize that for some people friends come in and out of our lives for a reason. And sometimes you have to let go of the old to make room for the new. I know there’s a saying about how you can never have too many friends. And while we’d all love to believe that’s true, sometimes it just isn’t. We are all busy, busy people. The internet & mobile phones make staying connected so much easier, but it’s almost impossible to have a whole bunch of solid, intimate friendships at one time. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.
Recently I’ve been feeling a shift in my friend dynamics. With certain friends I’ve come to the realization that I do and do and do and they don’t and I just have to let that go. One friend has had a recent major life change. Before it happened I could feel things changing and I told her so. She didn’t believe me. But since then I’ve discovered that I just don’t fit in to her plans anymore, at least not for the next few years. And that’s ok. Hard as it may be, it’s ok. Our relationship will continue to shift and we’ll go from friends who make big plans to see each other as much as possible to internet/phone friends. And I’ll still love her just the same.
There are also new friends. I’m surprised to find that I’ve become really close to someone who’s a good deal younger than me. But it’s evident to others that we are two peas. We have a really great time together and we talk about all sorts of things. We’ve been brutally honest from the start and I think that’s laid a good foundation for a wonderful friendship. There are newish friends that I just can’t seem to gel with. I’ve tried, but it’s not working, and I suppose I’m going to have to deal with that at some point.
And don’t even get me started on the Couple Friends. WHY can’t CSP & I seem to find the perfect couple to hang with? I mean, we love Lisa & Pete but they live in Baltimore. We need a fun local couple that we both like that likes us back . Maybe I should put out an ad. Ha!
Through it all I have my CSP, my Mom, Sara & Momo. They have my back, and my heart so I know that even if I never find a lifelong BFF (she better hurry cause dang, I’m 35!), I know I have them and that’s pretty dang fabulous.