For those of you who don’t know, CSP is my husband Jon. He doesn’t like for me to put his name on the WORLD WIDE WEB so he needed a nickname. Luckily my girlfriends stepped in and came up with Captain Safety Pants- CSP for short. He is called this because he is OBSESSED with safety, but in a really odd way. My favorite example is when I was buying a new car shortly after we got engaged. He was totally against a sunroof because it was “just another way for people to break in”. Riiiight. Because every time I walk out into a parking lot I can spot dozens of robbers perched on the roofs of their target cars. Never mind that the entire car is wrapped in glass! Windows all around but my robber’s gonna climb up on the roof and rappel in to snatch my iPod.
Anyway, last week we received a letter from the city that they would be cutting off water to our neighborhood from 9 am to 2:30 pm one day while they did some sort of water pipe work or something. CSP erupted in curse words. How dare they limit his water usage! He’s a tax payer daggummit! So we went to bed the night before the fateful day with him still muttering about the injustice of it all. The next morning I woke up early for some sort of appointment. CSP woke up and asked me to fill up the bathtub with water. He didn’t have to be to work til 1pm and needed some water to sponge off with. I told him just to get his ass up and get in the shower now. I was not going to fill the bathtub with gallons of water he would just be wasting later. He agreed to the shower idea (brilliant, I know) and I went on my way. I came home later after he was at work and found that even though he had taken his shower he felt the need to stockpile water. I guess just in case we dehydrated in that precious few hours. He had filled up a gallon jug with water. He filled his bathroom sink with water. He filled every plastic cup in his reach to the brim with water. It was like walking on to the set of Signs. Swing away, CSP, swing away.