
And so it begins… Alabama Hannah’s season of the Bachelorette! Week 1. We begin with a montage of Alabama Hannah in a field and leaning against some poles while her voiceover laments about not being able to find love. The girl could not be more awkward! And I swear if I hear ROLL TIDE all night long I’m going to have to stab my eyes out! Of course they make a point to show AH’s pageant history, lest we forget!
Then we have the little intros to the men. The short videos in their hometowns. None of these guys ever seem to make it to the end so get a good look now my people! Mike from Dallas seems super sweet with his great grandma. Joe the Box King is on my tv for 3.8 seconds and I already can’t stand the man.
Next up are the limo entrances. I should start a ROLL TIDE tally!
Garrett the golf pro is out of the limo first. He has a healthy head of hair on him!
Mike is super sweet still. That’s good to see!
Jed the singer/songwriter is 100% here for his career.
Tyler C the dancing contractor gives me the heebie jeebies and I just don’t know why.
Dylan is up next, then Connor who jumps the fence. It’s been done, bro.
Devin tells a virgin joke and I want to punch him in the throat. I thought we left the virgin stuff behind us!!!
John Paul Jones is next and if you think I’m typing out John Paul Jones all season you’ve got another thing coming! Also, he lists his occupation as John Paul Jones. SO WEIRD.
Brian throws his head WAY back when he laughs.
Scott is so nervous I almost feel badly for him!
Matteo is just as nervous.
Daron reminds me of someone but I can’t think who.
Tyler gives INTENSE eye contact. #squirm
Thomas and Matt are up next and I honestly can’t remember a thing about them.
Then a forklift pulls up with a big box on it marked Fragile (so it must be Italian amirite???) Joe the Box King jumps out and styrofoam packing peanuts fly errrrrrywhere! They are going to be finding peanuts all season! So bad for the environment Joe the Box King!!!
Joey shows up with a baby seat for some reason.
Connor J is speaking French and I don’t know why. He has a lady face by the way.
Ryan “Roller Boy” literally rolls up yelling ROLL TIDE and I’ve never wished someone would wipe out more than I do now. Oh don’t feel badly for Ryan the Roller Boy, he’s wearing a helmet!!!
Hunter the surfer is next and following him is unemployed Grant who keeps making silly puns about how it’s a sausage party in there. Dude brought his own mustard.
The puns keep coming as Kevin gets out of the limo with an armful of footballs that he drops everywhere.
Luke follows that by climbing up on top of the limo and GROWLING at AH who GROWLS back. Lawd help me I may need to start drinking to get through this season!
Another Luke is next and he’s about as exciting as printer paper.
Dustin shows up wearing giant white shoes with his suit which I don’t understand.
Cam hops out of the limo rapping. Look bruh, you rapped at After the Final Rose and it was cute. Now you’re doing it again and someone needs to pop you upside the head. Not cute anymore.
A huge red tractor roars up the driveway and sitting atop it is Matt Donald wearing a giant hat. Sigh.
Chasen is up next and he’s a pilot and is super cute but I can’t get past his stupid name. Someone call Child Services for this poor boy! Chasen. Ugh.
Peter the Pilot steps out of the limo in his pilot uniform and hold on I’ll be right back I’m gonna go slide into his DMs. V handsome in that uniform.
Ok so there’s 30 men but I’m missing one. Whoever he is must not have made that much of an impression. #shrug
AH says a quick prayer before entering the party and I love that. She walks in and greets the guys and she is looking so good in her dress! #fireOne of the Lukes grabs her first and here we go! Lady Face Connor throws her a bachelorette party with a bunch of elementary school games, which reads a bit odd to me.
Rapper Cam steals the first kiss of the night.
Then out of nowhere, Demi (yay!!!) and some other girl (who?) pull up in an undercover FBI van with surveillance equipment claiming that they were told on social media that one of the guys has a girlfriend back home. Yeah, just ONE I bet! HA! I betcha half a dozen of these punks have girlfriends back home!
Back to the party, Joe the Box King acts like he’s walking around a Bar Mitzvah with a microphone. He’s just way too “on” for me.
Peter Pilot has a baby face under that pilot’s cap.
Ooh and Demi finally spots the dude with the girlfriend! And it’s Nervous Scott! Chris Harrison pulls AH aside and she goes to see Demi and that rando girl who tell her about Scott’s GF. Then AH does something that makes me like her a bit more. She marches into the house, points to Scott and says “We need to talk!” The other guys are shaking in their boots!
They go sit outside somewhere and AH comes for him. He is pretty dodgy about it but the truth comes out. Scott JUST broke up with his GF MONDAY!!!! The nerve!!! Then he has the gall to bring up Colton and tries to say it’s the same thing?!?! Boy, BYE. AH marches him back through the house in front of everyone and to the front door. Then she goes back outside and cries a bit about it. Luke the Growler goes out to console her, which was nice. BUT AH says a couple of times that she’s freezing and he never gives her his jacket! FAIL.
And the party is back on! Connor S gets a kiss. Everyone is eyeing the first impression rose. Growler Luke gets it and they share a BIG kiss. I swear he’s about to suck her top lip into a different dimension! GL comes on a wee bit strong for my taste.
Rose Ceremony
Turns out shortie Jonathan is the guy I missed at intros. He gets a rose. JPJ (John Paul Jones) gets the last rose and that boy just makes my skin crawl!!!
Going home tonight are Old Matt Donald, Chasen, Joe the Box King (don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!), Brian, Hunter (WHO???), Ryan, and Thomas. The only one I’m a little shocked by is Chasen. Yes, I hate his name. BUT he’s a stone cold fox AND a pilot (free flights!!!) so he has a respectable job! Unlike our clear villain of the season – JPJ.
Previews- Cam talks about himself in the 3rd person and that’s a straight up punchable offense.
Credits- Chris Harrison sweeping up Joe the Box King’s packing peanuts and muttering cuss words is the kind of tv content we all need right now!
Until next week…. xo🌹




CSP apparently had never heard that saying before (being from Minnesota and all). He laughed about that all the way home! Breakfast was really good. We decided to make that place our go to spot for post cruise breakfasts from here on out!


Kwan gave us Mardi Gras beads! We had a fabulous dinner and we noticed that on our entree plates the frog was sporting a crown! 


An anniversary cake! The little chocolate even says Happy Anniversary! He sang us a little song and gave us some sage advice. I gave him his tip envelope and he said “For my family” as he tucked it away in his pocket. GAH. I about cried when he said that and just wanted to give him everything we have. They work SO hard and are separated from their spouses and children for months and months at a time. But he never appeared without a giant smile and a spot on Mickey impersonation!
He wasn’t even a foot away from me! Then he must have gone and told his friends because within a few minutes there were tons of birds hanging around, drinking CSP’s Coke, eating CSP’s chips (!!!) and dive bombing us!
See the bird on the left side of picture? Contrasted against the towel.





CSP came back and I went to the buffet to get my lunch. On the way back to the table 3, THREE different crew members asked to take my tray to the table! Finally a man just took it from me! I led him to our table and we had a nice lunch. They have all kinds of stuff for you to choose from. I had a spicy chicken sandwich, corn on the cob, and some potato salad. CSP had some mahi mahi and chicken and a bunch of other stuff I can’t quite remember. Kwan brought us some coconut and banana bread to try and it was lovely.
So cute! Before we knew it Glenn, the concierge guy, came by to tell us the island taxi would be by to pick us up at 3:30. The afternoon just FLEW by. I got my stuff together but CSP decided he would rather walk back to the ship on his own. He wanted to stop by the shops on the way to the ship. While I waited for the taxi I took a selfie and that’s when I realized I’d forgotten sunscreen on my face!!! Doh!
Inside was a map of Castaway Cay, a lot of information, and 2 wristbands for our CABANA!!!! Yep! I miraculously scored a cabana on the family beach (the best side in my opinion)! Gather round and I’ll tell you how it happened. Our new friends Laci and Rusty sailed concierge this cruise. Concierge gets first dibs on the cabanas and there are only 25 on the whole island! 21 on the Family Beach and 4 at Serenity Bay, the adult only beach. Well, Laci and Rusty ended up with 2 cabanas and they only needed one. So they offered up the 2nd cabana to our cruise group! So generous and nice!!! I plead our case, that it’s our 17th anniversary and we reeeeeaaaalllly wanted one and they let us have their spare! Woot!!! I mean, we still paid for it but just getting the cabana is a huge feat in itself so we are immensely grateful!
To get to our cabana you walk down this lush path.
Our’s was right near the restrooms which is v v convenient!

Then there’s a counter top with a drink menu and a basket full of snacks.
On the wall above the counter there’s the controls for music and there’s a button. Push the button and a cabana crew member will appear to help you! Under the counter are more towels, a garbage bin, and a mini fridge that’s stocked with water, soda, a fruit bowl, and chilled towels. V v fancy!
To your left is the main living area. 
There’s a sofa, a couple chairs, some small tables, a bench, and a changing area. Keep walking forward and there are 2 chaise lounges and a mini sofa with a couple more tables.
On one of the tables is a basket with sunscreen in it. Overhead is a sail cloth shade so you’re not in direct sunlight.
Walk down the stairs and to the right is the shower and to the left is the hammock.
Walk straight ahead and there’s the Caribbean sea and the private beach.
Amazing! Just check out our views!
Your own private world!
Oh, how I wish in that moment I had remembered to slather my own face with the SPF 100 sunscreen I brought with me. CSP put sunscreen on my arms & neck and I did (most) of my legs. I missed one spot on the inside of each knee somehow. Burn, baby, burn. While CSP was out riding his bike I read more of my book
Mladen was our server again.



We both took a nice nap. We woke up and discovered there were no available chairs in the shade by the pool, so we decided to enjoy our verandah. I’m v fair skinned and can’t be in the sun but for a minute without burning to a crisp. Also I’m currently doing a psoriasis drug study and am not allowed to get a sunburn. So that’s why being in the shade is such a huge deal. We read our books, chatted, listened to the grandma next door curse, and watched the sun go down.

