pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 9 Fantasy Suites

BBs- this week is Fantasy Suites, or as Khaki Zach calls it, SEX WEEK!!! Bahahaha! At least we are able to see some stunning views of Thailand while we watch!

Us lucky, lucky viewers are treated to yet another soapless shower scene with Khaki Zach. Then Z tells Jesse he’s decided any and all sex is off the table this week. Good luck with that Z! Even Jesse tells Z he’s going to be tempted.

First lady to date sexless Zach this week is Ariel. They have the best date of the week and go to a Night Market where they eat all manner of bugs and worms and crickets. At Fake Dinner Z tells Ariel there will be no sex and she’s visibly disappointed, but at this point she’s already spilled to Z that she’s falling in love with him so she’s stuck with him for the night. The next morning they look happy and talk about their cuddle sesh the night before. So that’s one down, 2 to go!

Next up is Gabi and before she even meets up with Khaki Zach she’s spiraling. Gabi is ALL in her head about being chosen second and being cheated on in the past, etc. So after G & Z take a cool pirate ship to a private island G gets super emotional and starts crying about looking ugly and crusty and feeling gross in front of Z. Z reassures G that she’s beautiful and she feels better. Over Fake Dinner, Z tells Gabi there will be no sex and she’s shocked, especially because she just told the man she’s falling in love with him. G says “I won’t seduce you”. They go to their v cool suite over the water where…..they have sex! So Z’s iron resolve didn’t stand a chance against G and her wiles!

The next day Z tells J he had sex with G and he’s feeling all this guilt now and wants to tell the other girls. Uh, NOT a good idea there Zach! But Z goes and tells G that he wants to tell the other girls and G is NOT happy about this turn of events at all. She feels like it’s their personal business and it shouldn’t be shared. Z tells G he’s falling in love with her.

Kaity’s date is next. They paddle around in a jungle river in a kayak in the rain for a while. Sexy! Then they sit on this rando bench in the jungle river to talk. That’s where Zach spills the beans to K that’s he’s had sex this week. K gets understandably V V upset at this news. She knew it was a possibility but why spell it out for her Z? What did he expect? A fist bump?? K wants to go home. That night Kaity shows up for Fake Dinner even though she was NOT happy, but she somehow manages to rally and has a great attitude! We don’t get a morning after shot so who knows what happened, or didn’t.

Rose Ceremony

Kaity & Ariel look stunning in their brightly colored dresses, but Gabi’s dress looks kinda cheaply made. Shame, because she’s a gorgeous girl. Kaity, the obvious favorite, gets the first rose. Then Gabi. That means Ariel is going home. And just to rub salt in the wound, Zach for some reason, feels the need to talk about how he said he was going to abstain this week and failed. So Ariel knows he knocked boots with at least one of the other girls! UGH Did Zach learn NOTHING from stupid, stupid Clayton??

Z walks Ariel out and while A says she’s deeply hurt, our girl doesn’t shed a single tear! He’s not worth it anyway Ariel!!! He’s khaki pants come to life!

While Z is attending to Ariel, Kaity turns to Gabi and says I know you are the only one. Gabi says she feels like she’s wearing the Scarlett Letter. Nice reference!

Next week- the finale BBs!!! Until then! xo 🌹