In-laws & outlaws

CSP & I had to write autobiographies for our adoption home study.  There were lots of questions to answer about our families.  One question CSP & I debated about.  It asked about our in-law relationships.  If they get along etc.   CSP thinks that it is a rarity for both sets of parents to come together after a wedding and be social with each other.  I know lots of couples whose parents all get together at birthday parties etc and get along very well.  Our parents live an hour apart so they don’t really see each other.  So settle this for us.  If you are married or committed, do both sets of parents socialize together at holidays and events?  Or do they never see each other?

9 thoughts on “In-laws & outlaws”

  1. My Inlaws live on the other side of the country, but my Sister in Law comes every Thanksgiving and is with us.

    Laura’s inlaws come over all the time when my Dad is there. There is no issue at all. Pete and I have been to Brandon’s parents for holidays too!

  2. T’s parents and mine haven’t seen each other since the wedding. But if they did, they would be fine with each other. Not sure if they lived in the same town if that would keep up, but they could stand it once or twice a year.

  3. Nope — the last time we all got together was for our wedding…we get together with each side of the family, separately. It’s not that they don’t get along. It’s just that they don’t really have much in common (other than their children being married).

  4. We do birthdays together… The birthday kid gets to chose what we eat and my inlaws and my parents come to dinner the night of thier birthday. (separate from thier actual birthday party.. birthdays are a very big deal for us) But we celebrate holidays separately. My mother-inlaw is kind of mean to me and makes little jabby comments about me,my parenting, housekeeping,cooking ect. and my Mom can only handle it a little at a time. Having them together twice a year is plenty.

  5. No one ever sees my mother in law. Seriously, my parents have never met her, neither has my 5-year old.

  6. My parents have passed, and Bill only has his mom left. Our family’s don’t socialize. Once, when we had a birthday party for Fae, Bill’s family didn’t talk to my family AT ALL. Being in the restaurant business, my family is very social, but there was no conversation started, even when they tried to be sociable with my in-laws.

  7. It depends on the situation. Family dinners – not always, if not rarely. Cookouts, holidays, and birthdays – yes. I should clarify that this interaction has increased significantly since my MIL died and my FIL is single. When she was living, almost every event was separate. She felt her family events were more important than my parent’s family events, and would insist on separate celebrations. My FIL doesn’t feel this way and loves to get together with my mom and dad (especially when there’s good food in the mix).

  8. Depends on the situation. Dinners not really. These days more like Christmas or Easter and we don’t live really far. They are just from two different plantes.

  9. I had to comment…. My parents died shortly after we were married. I do have a step-mother and she has since remarried. My in-laws live in another state about 8 hours away. We used to live about 3 miles from them. They don’t really celebrate much so we had our celebrations at our house. We invited them, but they didn’t always come and my FIL never came.
    We had a cardinal rule though… once we had kids, we NEVER left our home for Christmas. You can come see us, but we are not dragging our kids away for the holiday. It means we spend and have spent a lot of Christmases with just our family of 5 since moving to NC 7 years ago, but our kids don’t know any different and they love being at home in their pj’s enjoying their loot.

    I think your situation is definitely different and you are fortunate 🙂

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