Out of the mouths of Captains

CSP cracks me up.  The other day I was getting ready for bed.  He was already in the bed and I was in the bathroom flossing and whatnot.  I told him that I had just noticed the collar of a new tshirt of mine was ruined.  I had worn it when I got my hair done a couple days before and apparently some chemical got on it and had bleached  it.  So I told CSP the shirt was ruined and what happened.

CSP- Is it an aqua shirt, at least? (he dislikes aqua & it’s my favorite color so I wear it all the time)

Me- No it’s purple.

CSP- WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME???

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I was in the kitchen & CSP was in the den the other day when I heard him yell ” Why do you always have to stand on my nipples??”  I’m assuming he was talking to one of the pugs.  I hope.