It seems that the way I live my life is really bothering people. And that is really bothering me.The word “you” is used throughout this post as a collective you. I’m not pointing fingers at any one person.
I can’t tell you how many people over the last few months have told me to get a job. Or asked me if I’m working yet with a look on their face. Or asked if I have plans to get a job. Why do you people care? I don’t owe you money. We pay our bills on time. My husband makes enough money to support us. We don’t make public nusainces of ourselves. I don’t show up at your job and bother you. I can’t figure it out. I guarantee you that if I had a child at home people wouldn’t ask me this. And if I did have a child at home we’d need more money so perhaps I would need a job. It doesn’t make sense. And here’s the thing, it’s nobody’s business. I don’t owe anyone an explanation or excuse or reason. Ask my husband right now and he’d say he doesn’t want me to go to work. Ask the economy right now and it would say it doesn’t have any jobs for me anyway. I mean, this new hotel that’s about to open in our area is holding their job fair at the Nascar speedway. It’s like American Idol for minimum wage work! THOUSANDS of people showed up for hundreds of jobs. If I wanted a job right now I couldn’t get one.
When I was 13 I started working at my uncle’s skating rink for cash under the table. At 15 I rode my bike to work at my first W2 producing job. I was steadily employed until 4 years ago when I stopped working full time. 3 years ago I stopped working altogether. The reasons why I am not working now are NOBODY’S business. But I will tell you this. I stopped working for medical reasons. Let me remind you that over the last 5 years I’ve endured 8 surgeries. How do you think I could be working between all those surgeries, recoveries, and let’s not forget the reasons for the surgeries. They don’t just do surgery because they feel like it. And I didn’t end up with bigger boobs or a perky nose. These were all medically necessary surgeries, the biggest one being a hysterectomy. That’s a huge deal, physically and emotionally. At one point, before the hysterectomy, I was not able to leave my house unassisted for MONTHS due to the medical problems I was having.
And for some reason people feel like they can just ask me flat out why I’m not working. Like I owe them something. I don’t go to your house and ask why you don’t have a bigger house or a nicer car or a better job. These are all personal things. Mind your own business. You don’t know what my plans are. You don’t know that I’m still dealing with some health issues and that maybe I can’t go to work right now because another surgery may be in my future. You. Don’t. Know.
The other aspect of my life that seems to really bother people is that CSP and I are not on a traditional schedule. We are night owls. He works a lot at night. He’s going in at midnight tonight as a matter of fact. His schedule changes all the time. If I want to see him then my schedule needs to change too. If I want to spend time with my husband then I stay up late and sleep late. This does not mean we are not on a “normal” schedule. It’s normal for us. But it drives people nuts. My closest friends and family understand that if they email me at 8 am they might not get an answer til 2. That doesn’t mean I stay in bed til 2, but if it did, SO WHAT? It’s NOBODY’s business. We are a very happily married couple. We are productive members of society. If there is a family function or an appointment that requires us to be somewhere in the AM hours then we are there with smiles. I don’t call your house and get mad when you’re asleep at 2 am. So don’t call mine and get mad if I’m not awake at 9 am.
Quit telling me I’m not on a “normal” schedule. Quit telling me to get a job. Don’t pass judgement on me. Don’t look at me and wonder why I’m not working outside the house, or why I’m not up with the sun. Mind your own business and I’ll continue to mind mine.