Bless Your Heart

Yesterday on the way to work I hit a squirrel. I feel so badly about it. I didn’t mean to- I even slowed down while he was crossing the road. Then he turned around with no warning and I hit him. I stopped and checked and he was dead. I was hoping if he was alive I could get him some help or something. But no. Then on the last street before my office was a big black dog that had been hit by a car. Too much carnage for my eyes to bear that early in the morning!

I couldn’t take it anymore. I know it’s only been a week or so without a computer, but I was going crazy. And maybe I was still distraught over all the dead wildlife, but I bought a new computer yesterday morning when I got to work. An Apple eMac. It’s really cute. It’s not the one I really want, the big daddy G5 or the 17 inch Titanium Powerbook, but I’m on a budget. Jon flipped out a little since we’re saving money, but he got over it. Computers used to be a luxury, and now I swear I can’t hardly live without one!

In other news, Ike turned one year old on September 5th. I can’t believe he’s that old already! Such a little old man, but he’s still pretty puppy-ish.

I was reading that Oprah is on a kick granting wishes and fulfilling dreams. I figured if she can give her entire audience new cars, maybe she can hook us up with some babies! So I wrote her. We’ll see. If I get on the show I promise to give a shout out to all my bloggy buddies! =)

I talked to my Nanny the other day for the first time since she received my letter explaining our fertility situation. Nanny is my paternal grandmother. She is a native of Ireland and just became a citizen here in time for the last presidential election. Her accent is still very thick (keep that in mind as you give her a voice in your head).

People don’t really know what to say to us. We hear a lot of “So you’re going to adopt then right?” and “You never know, a miracle can still occur!”. But my Nanny takes the cake. She threw out the regular comments and then I explained that yes we are planning to adopt, but that since it is far more expensive to adopt than to birth a child it will be a couple of years before we can get started. And I explained the physical details and why it would definitely be a miracle if we were to get pregnant.

So then she says to me “Auch Shannon, don’t you know any wee girls who are in trouble who could give you their babies? Then you wouldn’t need an agency!”. Why didn’t we think of that?! All of my friends are unwed teenage pregnant people! My goodness, I’m sure they’d take $100 bucks in exchange for us taking care of their little mistake! Ok, Nanny aka Baby Broker, that would be illegal.

We talk a little more and then she tells me she must hang up because she just thought of her friend Maureen in Ireland who may know of some babies laying around that were born out of wedlock, because “you know that’s looked down on in shame over there. Now do you mind flying to Ireland to pick them up? Any preference on sex?” Like she’s ordering a horse for us to pick up or something!

I get to work this morning and I have a voice mail from Nanny. “Shannon, take down this number. It’s for a children’s home in SC. I tried the one in Florida, but they won’t let me take the wee one over state lines. So call them up and see what they’ve got in stock! Now, your Uncle Steve’s working on another children’s home for ya too. Get ready!”

Holy smokes. I can picture it now, Nanny pulling up in her Caddy with Pappy in the passenger seat peering out through his binoculars (he’s rapidly losing his sight to diabetes, and while so sad because I love him, the idea of him watching tv with binoculars sends me into hysterics). She’ll hop out of the car and unload a dozen or so babies for us to choose from. I suppose we should start looking for a crib! Or 3! Ha!

So, we’re back, down from the mountain. So much has happened in the last 4 days.

• My dear husband destroyed our sound machine (the rain noise thingy that plays while we sleep), the bedroom tv (which he thankfully fixed last night), and most importantly, our computer. Granted, it’s a 5 year old Gateway piece of *&#$ but it was the only one we had. How did he break it? Only him and God know the true details, but he broke it good. I tried everything I could think of to bring it back to life, but no go. We get this big, black, empty screen with a flashing cursor. I’m fairly sure Jon’s taking a baseball bat to the cpu as we speak. So, thank goodness for my work computer, but unfortunately I won’t be able to post pictures until we can get a new home computer. Sigh.
• So you’ll just have to take my word for it that this weekend we had fabulous weather, spotted the most colorful, dangerous looking spider ever on the front porch, and that the pugs were so cute in their little harnesses barking to prove to the other people and dogs at the park that they are way tougher than they look.
• You’ll also just have to trust that the scarf I finished knitting is way cute.
• Oh, and before we left for the mountains I went with a friend to her electrolysis appointment. Holy smokes. She paid this woman to take a needle looking thing, insert it into her face, set it on fire, and rip out hair and face meat. Then the lady did a free demo on me and I’m just amazed that she can make a living out of what feels like burning people with matches.
• Oh, and to Sandy who asked about my Helix cut. It did put a lot of body and a little curl into my hair. My hair was stick straight to begin with, except this odd wave over to one side. Now it curls up without all the begging and pleading that used to occur.
• One last note about the computer being dead. If you email me at heyshannyathotmaildotcom or my yahoo or home address I won’t be able to read it until I can get to a library or mooch off a friend. So email me at work for the time being.

Today is my last day at work before a glorious long weekend. Thank you who to the wonderful holiday calendar planner people who came up with Labor Day! Because of my compressed schedule I’m off Friday-Monday. Four days of r&r to be spent with the boy and the pugs at the mountain house where time goes by more slowly and hopefully we will be out of Hurricane Frances’ path. Our mountain forecast went from sunny and 74 degrees to thunderstorms and 70 degrees. I’m not too worried about the rain though. We can still shop and nap and knit.

When we get back, the craziness begins again. I’m in a wedding in Florida in 6 weeks. My dress just came in. I have to buy shoes, get it altered, and make jewelry for the entire wedding party. Thank goodness it’s a small wedding because the jewelry thing was a last minute request from the bride. I’m so nervous though. Outfitting a bride for the most important day of her life is so much different than whipping together some earrings and a bracelet to match a new shirt. Wedding pictures last forever and she’s so sweet she’ll wear whatever I make which could mean that 40 years from now people will look at her bridal portraits and say “What the hell is that around your neck? A Vegas showgirl?”. Lord help me! =)

Question: who do you love? Correction, to whom do you say, out loud- not just in cards- I love you?

I don’t think people say it enough. I think it comes easily to tell your spouse or significant other of course, and your kids. But beyond that…do you tell your friends? Your siblings? Your aunts and uncles? How do they respond? Do you have anyone in your life who’s stingy with the phrase? I’ve decided I’m gonna say it loud, proud, and often to everyone I love. Some of my loved ones have a problem saying the words, though so this experiment may be a little awkward at first, but I think it will pay off in the end. Because, come on, who doesn’t feel great when someone says I love you?!

By the way, if you live near me and want to buy an antique player piano for a steal click here.

I came home from work the other day to a vacationing husband who informed me that he’d been shopping online. Oh Lawd. He said “I feel like you!”. He tracked his package with an obsession and was so happy when it arrived I thought he’d squeal. He ordered a Minnesota Twins authentic baseball jersey, a Minn. Twins hat, and the NFL Party Pug. You mash his little foot and he sings Move it like this!” and dances! Yep, you guessed it, Jon’s from Minnesota and is a die hard fan of both the baseball and football teams. Our live pugs don’t quite know what to do with this stuffed, musical version, but he sure will be cute come game time!

Who needs fancy dog toys when a plastic clothes hanger is your pug’s most beloved posession?

The Land of Red Dirt & Dead Cars

That’s what James Taylor said about the Carolinas at one of his shows a few years ago. He’s allowed though, he’s from here. It is true though, you always see tons of dead cars along the highway, just down the road a bit from that one shoe. Never a pair of shoes, just the one. Anyway, the above picture was taken from my car the other day while my Mom, Morgan, and I explored this new development that is being built in my neighborhood. As you can see they haven’t even paved the roads yet, and it had just rained so it was quite an adventure. There was much girlie squealing as we slid all around. I prayed we wouldn’t get stuck because we were all in flip flops and are much too prissy to be digging my car out of the muck! Luckily my little Rav4 did quite nicely and got us home.

Self aware

I know my limitations. There are some things I just can not do well at all and I’m not afraid to admit it. I love how people are surprised though when things go badly after I tell them I’m no good at that particular task. My MIL was appalled at my cutting skills when she insisted I cut the cake for dessert. I told them- I can’t cut things with a knife! I can’t chop vegetables, cut into desserts of any kind without making a mess. It’s just not something I’m adept at. Some other things I can’t do (and how):

• Sing or hum. I’m soooo tone deaf. But I’ve always heard if you can’t sing, then sing loud. Lucky listeners! And playing Cranium is always a hoot for my family when I pull a humdinger. It’s always an easy win for them!
• Back up a vehicle. Yep, that’s why our shrubs look that way. Oh, and sorry about your lawn FIL!
• Take pictures for informational purposes. Example: I toured some model homes of the new development being built near us the other day, but Jon couldn’t go because he was working. So I took pictures to show him. Unfortunately they turned out to show things like the rack in the closet, and the toilet, and a doorknob. He looked at them, laughed, and told me my photo taking abilities sucked so bad they blew.
• Dance. It’s scary. Remember Elaine on Seinfeld? I could totally give her a run for her money. No rhythm. No coordination. Just a lot of jerks and spasms. But it is so fun!

I also am aware of things I can do well. I’m a quick study. Unfortunately none of my talents have brought me fame or fortune, but they make for an interesting list I suppose.

• Crafts. Anything arts & crafty I can do. Show me how to knit and I’m a knitter. I can paint, draw, sculpt, crochet, sew, scrapbook, you name it. I can make just about anything too if I put my mind to it: candles, jewelry, ornaments, decorations, whatever. Just ask my family as they are lucky recipients of so many of my handmade sursies.
• Technical stuff. I can program a vcr in no time. You need help setting up your sound system? Got it. Can’t figure out your cell phone or digital camera? I’m all over it. I’ve tutored many an elder family member on computers and other electrical equipment. And everyone I know asks me how to find things on the internet.
• Bizarre sports. I can golf, play badminton, roller skate, ice skate, cut flips on the trampoline and kick your butt in croquet. You can’t even imagine my excitement when I found out badminton is an Olympic sport!
• Cook. For some unknown reason I can make a kick ass lasagne, and turn any combo of meat and pasta into a decent meal. I’m not a bad baker either. I’ve never really had a recipe fail that I’ve tried. You’d think I’d cook more knowing this huh?
• Sell. I can sell water to a drowning man. Ice to an Eskimo. People tell me all the time that IKEA should be paying me. Strangers approach me in stores and ask for my help with their shopping. Just last Saturday in Target I helped a lady put together a care package for her nephew who’s being deployed to Iraq. I don’t know her or her nephew from Adam. Hope he likes it!
• Finally, remember song lyrics and random pop culture. If I could use the space in my brain to cure cancer or split atoms instead of being able to sing every word to It Takes Two by Rob Base, well, then can’t we all agree the world would be a better place?

Happy Blogday!

Yesterday (the 20th) was my blog’s 3rd birthday. Amazing how these last 3 years have flown by, yet so much has happened. I went back and read my August of 2001 posts. They made me a little misty. Here’s a reason why:

Monday, August 20, 2001 Yay! I’m so excited to be starting this blog. I know I’ll be able to stick to journaling now, esp in this format. I’ll have to start in the morning though. Time to go visit Melissa and meet Davis!

Since then, Davis has turned into an adorable 3 year old. But Melissa hasn’t been there to see it since she passed away June 14, 2002. I also spent a lot of August 2001 blogging about getting pregnant and how I could time it just right blah blah blah. Well, we all know how that’s turned out.

BUT, since then some amazing things have happened as well. Jon and I moved into our fabulous home, we adopted the most adorable pugs ever, we’ve grown even closer and are more in love than ever, we discovered IKEA, we’ve gone on some fun trips, our cute as can be nephew Jake was born, and we’ve made some wonderful friends that I just could not live without now. I’m a firm believer in the whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” idea, and I’m not dead yet. So I’m looking forward to the next few years. I know they are full of possibility and hope. And I’ll be able to continue to share everything with my dear bloggy friends!