I figure I’ll start with the bad news then move on to fun cruise pics. I don’t blog every thing. Some things I keep to myself. Some news I don’t share, especially in regards to our quest for a child, because if things don’t work out then I have that many more people asking questions about it. The latest big thing I haven’t shared is that for the last few months (since about July), we’ve been working with a birth mother in South Carolina. This was the Operation Shoney Bear I’d blogged about a while back.I won’t be sharing too many details, but here’s what I can tell you. I didn’t seek her out. She came to us via a friend. We started talking on the phone. I drove down one Sunday and spent a few hours with her. We developed a relationship. And on Saturday, November 1st I called her on our way to Florida to check in. I hadn’t heard from her in about 3-4 weeks and I’d started to wonder if everything was ok. I’d sent cards and letters, with no response, which was odd. The last time I’d talked to her she was so excited about us raising her baby. As soon as she answered the phone I knew something was wrong. And by the time we hung up I was sobbing. She changed her mind. This was a risk we knew came with the deal, but I’d felt so confident in her, in us, in this whole plan. But she changed her mind. And now, once again, we are left with no baby. And once again I am heartbroken. I cried all the way down to Florida. But as soon as Orlando came into view I powdered my nose and bucked up. This was Lisa’s time. I told Mom & Papa & Jon that we wouldn’t speak of the baby situation again on this trip. That we would revel in the love that surround Pete & Lisie and we would have a great time. And we did. But I’m home now. And the last 48 hours have been really, really hard. We’ve decided to just stop thinking about it for a while. To put the baby quest on hold for a few months. It is just exhausting me. I just can’t take any more disappointment and rejection. I feel hollow. BUT, I’m NOT giving up hope. I have faith. And it is bigger than a mustard seed.
So, now you have the bad news. The good news is Lisa and Pete had a gorgeous wedding surrounded by people who love them. And you will get to see pictures of that as soon as I’m finished editing the 400+ pics I took last week!