I don’t like the V word. I know it’s the proper name but I don’t like it. And I really don’t like it when toddlers and small children use it. I’m alright when my doctor says it- let’s me know he paid attention in school- but everyone else can just stop right now.
So anyway, I forgot to mention the details of my upcoming honey pot removal and I received some questions about it via email and comments.
-They will not remove my ovaries. CSP doesn’t know it yet, but he’ll be thrilled about that as that means I will not be going through surgically inducced menopause at age 33. No one wants that. While I am a delight, I’m guessing that living with me full time can sometimes be interesting and there’s no need to make it even more so.
-The surgery will be laproscopic where they make a few little cuts and go in with a camera and skinny tools and remove the baby pouch. That means less time in the hospital (just 1-3 days) and less recovery time (about 4 weeks).
-They will be removing my cervix. I’m totally cool with that. No more risk of cervical cancer. And I just learned that no more uterus means no more pap smears! The perks just keep coming!
-Did I mention I get to stay overnight in the hospital? I’ve never done this and have always been curious as to what it’s like. I’m sure there will be much poking and prodding of the hoohoo, but I also think there might be jello involved. And ice chips. There always seems to be an endless supply of ice chips at hospitals.
-My surgeon is a kind man with a smooth, bald head that I really wanted to smack during my appointment. He reminds me a bit of a muppet, but I can’t remember which one.
Speaking of whoopies, girls, hootchie hoos, hoo hahs, tootie fruities and the like…I was shopping at Sam’s the other day and noticed this wine:
Who is in charge of product names at this company???
I recently discovered this fabulous peach flavored soda called Rayz at Bloom (I promise I will still post about Bloom soon). 
While it is quite tasty, I have to pour it into a glass to drink because I find the graphics a wee bit disturbing. Who wants their beverage can decorated with a peach colored ass and vajayjay??
Bless Your Heart 
10 responses to “Where I do a lot of talking about “down there” without ever saying the V word”
Hmmm…did you see my post on Spotted Dick? It’s an actual pudding of the UK. I wanted to give it antibiotics.
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Oh…and you would croak around me. I use the V word no less than 50 times per day I’m sure.
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Wow the medical school should put you on the payroll! Hope all goes well!
Anychance your doctor looks like doctor bunsen honeydew?
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Oh Shannon good luck with the surgery and the recovery. I love your positive and funny attitude. We have a diner a few neighborhoods away from us called The Peach Tree Diner and there is a big peach tree in the sign and every single time Niel and I pass by we think of a lady parts. The food is not very good.
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That’s my friends favorite wine!!! I hope you have a nice hospital stay just don’t plan on sleeping at night because they will wake you up every couple of hours.
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I’m with you … I like vajayjay ;) hehe
Best of luck with your surgery. Get well quick!
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Yeah, vajayjay works for me. I’m not a fan of the V word.
As for your overnight at the hospital- don’t worry, they won’t be messing too much in your private areas. Pad checks. Mostly they’ll want you walking and farting… and they’ll ask… oh they will. They may even want to SEE your numero dos. And walk girl. The pain from gas is harsh- it’s from the CO2 they use in your belly to “float” your organs for a better visual. The only way to rid yourself of it is to get up and move, adn then…. well, fart.
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hmmm shanny.
You will find that an overnight stay in the hospital will consist of sleeping in a very umcomfy plastic covered bed and having someone wake you up every few hours to make sure that you are sleeping well.
I kid you not.. last time I was there someone woke me to give me a sleeping pill.. I looked at her out of one barely open eye and said. “are you serious?”
Jello however will likely be plentiful. If you are into that sort of thing. :)
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Don’t want to jump on the disappointment bandwagon, but overnights at the hospital aren’t that great because of recovery. The best piece is that you get total control of the remote, lots of nurses waiting on you, and once you’re awake you get to sit in your adjustible bed and hold court.
No lie, the gas from the surgery is a beast, so be sure to have CSP do some percussion on your back. It comes out through the shoulders. Crazy, but true.
Welcome to the wonderful world of pretty panties! It’s a pretty cool place to be. Woot!
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Good luck with it all! Ask for popsicles at the hospital too. And gingerale.
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