Oh oh oh afternoon delight

I swear CSP & I are the worst at being on time anywhere. We could have a clear schedule all day with one appointment in the afternoon and still be pushing it to get there on time. Oy. We tried to get our passports this afternoon but Jon’s birth certificate was apparently not an official enough copy. Oh well, we’ll try again in a couple weeks with a new officialler copy (it should be here in a couple of days).
Well, since I’ve posted about pooping I figured the gloves are off so I’d tell y’all about what happened the other afternoon. Our neighbor & good friend C needed to borrow CSP’s truck. We were on the phone chatting and after we decided we’d meet up in about a half hour so I could give her the keys to the truck we joked about how we should start a phone sex business to make extra money. We laughed about how neither of us could utter phrases such as “oh yeah, ride me like the Kentucky Derby” without cracking up so we’d be terrible phone sex ladies. We tried out a few choice phrases though then hung up the phone. Apparently my phone sex skills did not go unnoticed by CSP and the next 20 minutes or so found us in a delicate situation. The phone rang and it was C. She’d been standing outside our front door ringing the doorbell for the last 10 minutes! I felt horrible! She understood though and we had a good laugh. Thank goodness for good neighbors!

Your Mama doesn’t buy Lite Beer.

That’s what my MIL told CSP last night so he wouldn’t have to worry she was wasting her money on crap beer.
We went to dinner at the in-laws’ last night to visit with Jon’s Gramy who’s in town from Minnesota. OMG is that woman a crack up. Jon's Gramy85 yrs old and lives alone in a big house in MN. She brought all these little photo albums full of pictures of her sidewalk (she doesn’t like the way it was poured), various snow and ice storms, and my favorite, car accidents that occur in front of her house. She lives on a corner lot at a busy intersection. There were pics of bashed up cars, cars going on the tow truck, the works. We wish she would move down here to be closer to her family and so we could hang out more, but she’s fiercely independent so I think a move is still a ways off. We ended up visiting until almost midnight!

Keep your hands to yourself

I’m a girl of a curious nature. And if I see something I’m interested in, I’m probably gonna touch it. This drives CSP up the wall. Lately if I do something he doesn’t approve of he reminds me that when Ling Ling comes home I’m going to have some behaviors to change.
-You’re not gonna be able to spend 30 minutes on that stool in the bathroom doing your makeup.
-Sometimes you’re not going to be able to take a shower. You might need to learn to wear hats.
-You can’t go around touching everything. There are germs. And this isn’t Discovery Place.
You’re gonna have to speed up your poops.*

*This one I’m afraid of. I heard somewhere that if you strain too much you can die on the toilet from some thing that sounds like baseball bagel. I don’t know all the details but I heard enough that the idea of someone finding me dead on the toilet scares the, well, the you know what out of me. Everyone knows Elvis was found on the crapper. Does anyone remember how Bob Hope died? No. Of course you don’t. Because he died a dignified death far away from a toilet.

Not nearly as organized as I wish I were

I’ve received lots of emails and comments about the new country and I’m composing a FAQ post to cover everything, but it’s not quite done yet. It will be up soon though. I want to make sure all of my facts are straight. I’m currently in a back and forth with our new case worker and that’s part of the delay.
In other news…I thought I lost my camera over the weekend and it nearly made me sick to my stomach. I had CSP looking all through our cars while I looked in the house. It was in my purse the whole time.
My excema is crazy terrible right now. All down my arms and legs. I put medicine on every day and I’m still sporting the lizard lady look this summer. Try not to be jealous.
I have loads more to tell you but no time right now. More eloquent & entertaining posts to come I promise!

Well, when you say it like that….

Today I went to lunch with my mom, Gmommy, Sara, & Joey.Hey baby, dig my inflatable lid?Then we went so my Mom & Gmommy could see Sara & Marc’s new house. Well, new to them. They currently live in a new construction house they’ve been in for a year and a half but they found a deal on an older house that they’re going to fix up.
Now, we were supposed to go up to the mountain house with Gmommy for the Memorial Day weekend but we stayed home and brought Gmommy up to see us instead. Why? I think it’s best explained when I repeat to y’all an excerpt of the conversation I had with Lisa the other day. I’m sure I’m paraphrasing some of this as my memory isn’t as sharp as Lisa’s. (Lisa’s part is in italics)

I thought y’all were going to the mountains?
We were but we’re staying home now.
Roger got in a fight.
Roger? Your Mom’s cat?
Yeah. Apparently it was a bad fight and now he has a hole in his chest and Mom has to put antibiotics in it twice a day.
See, that’s why I don’t have pets. ‘Oh I can’t go on vacation because of my cat. And it’s not like it’s even a dog. It’s an animal who doesn’t even really like me. But I feed it and it runs around my house. And now I have to stay home from vacation to put medicine in my cat’s hole!’

Yo, Gmommy

GrandmommyMy Mom picked my Grandmommy up for the weekend. We went to lunch, then to get pedicures, then to see Shrek 3. You may remember me telling you about how my Gmommy has alzheimer’s. Well, as you can imagine it gets worse each time I see her. At this point she has a hard time with conversations as she can’t really complete sentences very often. But she seemed to have a really good time with us today and laughed a lot. She’s also in this flashing phase. We got flashed at lunch so she could show us her bra, then to show us where she had an itch on her belly. She also goes to the bathroom constantly. At lunch she went a few times. The restaurant has a “Learn Italian” type track running while you’re in the restroom. On the way out of the restroom the speaker said “What time is it?” and just as we were about to hear how to ask the time in Italy, Gmommy yelled “I don’t know what time it is!!”. She had a good time though and seemed to really enjoy the movie.