Thanksgiving came and went like a blur. It was …

Thanksgiving came and went like a blur. It was tough with all these sweet kids running around and their parents doing a lot of hugging me and saying “Your time will come” and the oft repeated “there’s a special child out there just for you”. There was a lot of crying in the bathroom. But I expected it because I hadn’t seen these guys in real life for a while so I knew they just wanted to hug me.

We had 22 people at my inlaws’ house. We also had 2 deep fried turkeys, 1 roasted turkey, tons of side dishes, 3 different desserts, and a yummy cranberry casserole ( my favorite holiday dish) that I ate with relish as soon I will have to change my diet radically to help get this insulin resistance thing under control. I took tons of pictures that I will post soon once I weed through them all (165!). Friday was just as whirlwind with all the family still in town. Another big dinner followed. Saturday & Sunday Jon and I just collapsed and chilled, which I so needed.

I’m getting better, and hopefully my meds are starting to kick in a bit. But some things are still just really overwhelming. And amidst all the emotional stuff I’m dealing with I’ve also been dealing with a freakish girlie thing going on (for 5 weeks now) that’s freaking me out a good bit. I’m just so tired of everything happening to me. I’m tired of all the dr’s visits. I just want things to be normal again. I’m trying with all my might to make that happen. Thank God for my boy, my family, my friends, and my pugs.

Jon’s Gramy from Minnesota is in town through Saturday so we’re getting her for the day Thursday. What to do with an 82 year old for the afternoon? =)

Oh, and if you aren’t on my list already, email me with your address and I’ll be sure to send you a Christmas card!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ike the pilgrim and Kea the Turkey send Thanksgiving wishes!

I have so much to be thankful for. I just wish my brain would work right so I could feel it all like I should. I’m hoping these next few days with family will help. I know this isn’t me. I know I’m a happier person. I’m just locked inside all this depression. My doctor says my new meds should be kicking in soon.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I think it’s such an important holiday and yet it’s skipped over so much so people can get right to Christmas. I feel like you have to really absorb Thanksgiving, be thankful, give thanks and surround your self with loved ones. Then you’re truly prepared to celebrate the Christmas season. So happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Bitches and Balls

Bitches and Balls

So this morning the plan was to meet my mom at church, go to brunch, then to Michaels so she could pick out her yarn for her Christmas scarf. I got to church a minute or 2 late, I know you’re sooo surprised, and had to wait for the parade of nations before I could sit down. I so have to tell you about this church one day.

Quick teaser for you: there’s a billboard on the way to my house with this woman with her hands all thrown up in the air (like cut out in hand shape above the actual billboard to get your attention) and written in house sized letters it said Worship! I was always so embarrassed for that lady because she was there for years with her arms flung heavenward and after a few storms and hurricanes one of her wrists went limp and let me just tell you, the church would NOT approve of that. And then one day after a lot of coaxing on my mom’s part to go visit her new church I finally went. The next day on the way home from work I passed the billboard and realized that holy smokes it was the same church! But more on that at a later date. You will not be sorry for tuning in for that story. Oh, and little disclaimer, I’m a Methodist. I’m not making fun of church in general. Just this one. Just a little. You would too, trust me.

Anyhoooo, (don’t you hate that word?) I slip into the pew next to my mom and while the powerpoint presentation was blaring on the dual screens (oh yes) she leaned over and said to me “We’re going to have to leave a little early because we’re going to a dog show.” Ok. Apparently Hale’s admin. assistant shows Pembroke Welsh Corgis and was competing today. Hale’s admin’s name is Amy and she lives in Georgia and how can you have a secretary 2 states away? I made them promise to get me home at a decent hour because I had to sew tablecloths for Thanksgiving and put another coat of paint on the front door (details later), and she promised. For church going people they shouldn’t lie. We were at early church, 8:30, and I still didn’t get home til after 4.

The ride was long and we talked about my PCOS and we all cried (Mom, Morgan & I) and by the time we got there I’d gone through a ton of tissue and one of Hale’s hankies. That’s part of why we love Hale, he still carries old fashioned hankies. So I couldn’t wait to get there and be cheered up by some puppies.

The dog show was 2 counties over in a huge arena, kind of like the places where they hold craft shows and such. Big and huge and full of dogs. Amy’s corgi Perry won enough points to become a Champion and we met the coolest dogs. The owners were so sweet and told us all about their dogs, you know how I talk to everyone and have a ton of questions. I heard the word Bitch so much (on a Sunday!) I thought we were destined for hell for sure. FYI, you can’t show a dog if they’ve been spayed or neutured. People, the balls on a Great Dane will make you do a double take, and then you feel a little creepy.

We met a Chinese Crested named Sissy. I’d never met a Chinese Crested in real life. Her skin was so soft, and had all these pretty spots. She was so skinny and was shaking. We decided she was the resident crack ho dog. Skinny with the shakes and wearing a bad wig. Her big eyes look at you from under her long bangs and make you want to rescue her from the seedy underbelly of dog porn. Like a Pretty Woman for the canine set.

The obediance trials were amazing. I’ve never seen such well behaved and well trained animals. And sweet! Such friendly pooches. Of course I took some pictures.



So, a major part of my infertility troubles has finally been diagnosed. I have PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Also, my body is insulin resistant- one of the causes of PCOS.

Here’s some fancy doctor talk for ya:

Recent scientific research has clearly identified that one of the causes of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is Insulin Resistance. What is Insulin Resistance? This condition occurs when your cells do not have enough insulin receptor sites and cannot effectively burn glucose. Research at Stanford Medical School and other research centers has shown that this excess glucose is then sent to the liver where it is converted to fat. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), also called Stein-Leventhal Syndrome, is a condition in which the ovaries secrete higher levels of testosterone and estrogens. Physical effects include irregular or no menses, obesity, excess body hair growth, Diabetes and hypertension and occasionally, baldness, . These body changes (hair excess, obesity and infertility) are due to anovulation (lack of ovulation). Anovulation in women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome creates risk for irregular and heavy menstrual bleeding, endometrial hyperplasia and even endometrial cancer. They are also thought to be at increased risk for premature heart attacks and cardiac disease due to excessive weight gain and uncontrolled blood sugar.High insulin levels due to Insulin Resistance may be a primary cause. Elevated insulin levels cause increased androgen levels. Diagnosis of the disorder is confirmed by tests that evaluate blood levels of insulin, cortisol, DHEA, androstenidione and testosterone Usually the diagnosis includes both anovulation and androgen (testosterone) excess. But many related conditions have become lumped together in the literature under the term Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Women with polycystic ovaries on ultrasound do not all have androgen excess, though Insulin Resistance is indicated in either case.

So…that’s why I don’t ovulate (even with Clomid), that’s why I have maybe 4-5 periods a year, that’s why I show symptoms of diabetes even though I’m not diabetic (I’ve been tested a few times).

It’s good to know what I’m dealing with. And my Dr. put me on some new meds that should help control the situation by tricking my body into accepting the insulin it produces. I may still never get pregnant- there’s no guarantee I’ll ovulate, but he’s thinking at least I may be able to regulate my period better, and there’s a bonus of losing weight.

I’m back at work and let me tell you, it was really hard coming back. I’m dreading each day. I feel like the resident crazy and who knows what people think. I never used to care what people thought about me. But just getting ready for work freaks me out a bit. I thankfully have a wonderfully understanding new boss, and that helps. So I’m just going to focus on getting through one day at a time.

I learned how to burn a dvd on my eMac. So cool….

I learned how to burn a dvd on my eMac. So cool. I made a slideshow of pictures of my nephew Jake and included mini movies I shot on my digi cam. My camera will only shoot about 7 minutes of a movie so they are really mini. It turned out really cute and was easy once I got the hang of it. Not bad for not reading instructions! Jake loved watching himself on tv! It’s amazing- you take a picture of him (he’s 18 mos old) and he will come right up to you and turn the camera around so he can see his picture. He wouldn’t know what to think of a camera with film! Now I’m really feeling old. Our kids will probably never have to use up a roll of film so they can get it developed and wait 3 days for the pictures to come back. Wow. I did learn a lesson about making dvds though- get all you want on it the first burn because you can’t add later! So now Jake has a dvd that could hold hours, but only has about 15 minutes of content. Ah well, I’m still learning!

Kea’s big day

Kea’s big day

My MIL is a librarian and she puts on Story Time each week for the kids. Kea was invited to make a guest appearance at story time this week. Kea did great! She was so good and so patient while all these kids pet her. The kids were really sweet too, no eye poking or tail pulling.

More pictures here.

After story time we put Kea in her stroller and took her to the mall so we could get fabric for the Thanksgiving table runners I’m making. Kea caused quite a stir with everyone oohing and aahing over her and the stroller. Then we had lunch at a restaurant that has an outside patio. My MIL called ahead and cleared Kea with the owners. Every waitperson and kitchen worker came out to see Kea. One last stop at Petco and we finally came home. Kea was exhausted from such a big day. Pushing Kea around I realized how celebrities must feel. Everyone looking at you and asking you questions. I was passing out the website where I bought the stroller like a star hands out autographs.

I’m so proud of Kea’s behavior- such a sweetie! She handled fame like a champ!

I live in Bizarro World

I live in Bizarro World

Last night around 7 I went to my mailbox and placed 3 movies to go back to Netflix, and a couple of other things inside the box. Then this morning I checked my email at around 9 and found 2 emails from Netflix saying they received my movies. Wha? I looked out the window- the little red flag was still up. There’s no way. On my way out and about this morning I added one more piece of mail to the box and found my movies still inside. Spooky.

In other weird news I spent most of my day in Gastonia (an adventure I’ll detail later) and while there heard about an escaped con on the loose. They caught himjust a few miles from where I was having a late lunch with my MIL. Eesh. Thank goodness he didn’t get hungry. I would not do well in a hostage situation.