Bless Your Heart

just a wee rant ** ok, this is long. sorry! but i hope you’ll stick around and read. please excuse my run on sentences & train of thought writing.

sarah has a very interesting post today about being a bitch. namely, if you ask for what you want & tell the truth for some reason the world likes to label you a bitch. well, she hit a nerve with me. i’ve been struggling with a similar situation for the last year or so. i’ve decided that i don’t want to stay up to all hours of the night drinking and puking while having inane conversations about the last time we were all together doing the exact same thing with people who i find, quite frankly, a bit boring, just to talk on the phone for hours about it the next day. i don’t want everyone in my hang out group to know and discuss all the personal details of my life. instead, i’ve decided to surround myself with people who are interesting, challenging, and have similar goals and values. i like to keep private things private. my friend melissa’s fight with cancer this year has shed some light for me about what’s important and i want to explore that. in short, it’s time to grow up and i’ve done a lot of that the last year or so. now, in the interest of saving feelings, i’ve not outwardly expressed any of this with the aforementioned party people. i’ve just stopped going to every party. stopped staying on the phone for hours. i’ve got things to do, this isn’t high school. i don’t share every minute detail of every day with them. this all means that most of the girls in the group think i don’t like them. when in fact i’ve just made different choices. that doesn’t mean your choice is wrong or bad if you choose something different from me. it just means that i like steak and you like chicken, no biggie right? now, i’ve tried to hang with it all for my sister’s sake, because we’re close and she’s marrying into that group. but once this wedding’s over, so am i. i’m tired of the girls not being nice to me just because i don’t want to do the same things they do. i’m dreading the bachelorette party because that’s who’s going to be there. i’ve never been nothing but nice to them so i’ll be nice again. even though they won’t be nice to me because they think i don’t like them and let’s be honest- i don’t. but only because they aren’t nice. i hate that i’m not excited about one of my sister’s wedding activities but it just feels so high school. at the last shower, any time my mom and i would come into a room they’d leave while giving not so nice looks our way. so after this long drawn out tirade…does it make me a bitch because i’d rather hang out with my husband than go to a keg party? am i a bitch because i don’t call girls every day to go over my personal life with a fine tooth comb? is it bitchy to know what i want, do what i’d like, be honest but tactful, even if it goes against what a group of girls thinks? i don’t think so. neither does joy.blogspot. what do you think??