Humor – Page 2 – Bless Your Heart

Bachelor Season Premiere!

January 25, 2023 Shannon

BBs!!! It’s that time again! The Bachelor with Zach has premiered and I. Have. Thoughts!!! So settle in and let’s get to it! First of all, Zach is so boring. He’s the human equivalent of beige paint. I just can’t with him. BUT his girls, based on this episode, are promising some drama!

Before we can get to meet all of Z’s ladies, Sean Lowe comes to give advice. GROAN. Now, I love Sean. He’s a delight. But he doesn’t know Zach from Adam and WHY is it always Sean?? Are there no other Bachelor men who have had their Bachelor relationship succeed?? Sigh.

Anyway, time for the Limo Entrances! We have 30 women to meet! Some standouts:

Greer talks about herself in the 3rd person and that grates my nerves to NO END.

Brooklyn is a rodeo racer!

Jess is only 23! Has she seen the show? Is she ready to marry this man?? I mean, I know Z is 26 but those 3 years are crucial!

Cat’s extensions are showing.

Genevie is STUNNING and poised. My favorite so far.

Mercedes brought a pig! LOVE!!!

Christina’s mom is a Mandrell sister! I looooved the Mandrells when I was a kid!

Two of the ladies are in the same dress (one pink, one purple).

Christina and Z are on a party bus hanging out when a bunch of the girls, led by Madison, crash their private bus party. Right after Christina and Z had their first kiss.

Speaking of kissing- these ladies got a good smooch: Kaity, Charity, Greer, and Jess (hope her mom’s not watching!).

One girl and Z have a “how many meatballs can you fit in your mouth at once” and while it’s kinda funny, it’s v gross and soooo not sexy!!!

SO. MANY. LIKES. It’s as if “like” is the only word these girls know! It makes them all look so dumb when you know they aren’t!!! Also, there are a million nurses on this show! Which tells me they are smart. So why speak in such a way that makes you look stupid???

Madison steals Z for a second hang out session, much to the chagrin of the other girls. Then she totally forces a kiss on him and he is not feeling it. Neither am I Z. Bless, she’s just coming off as desperate. She picks up on the fact that he’s not into her and spends the rest of the night crying.

Greer gets the First Impression Rose. Not to be confused with America’s First Impression Rose that Brianna won on After the Final Rose.

Later in the night Jesse and Z are chatting when Madison interrupts. She basically asks Z if he likes her and he v politely lets her down easy and sends her home. Then we have to watch for a PAINFULLY long time as Madison walks down the long driveway to the van that’s waiting to take her home. Her heels are clicking and she’s crying the whole way. BLESS.

CSP watched this with me and noted that all the girls look the same. With some exceptions, he’s right! SO many have the same hair it could be a wig they pass around! Long layers with extensions and a middle part. No wonder it’s hard to tell them apart and remember their names!!!

Rose Ceremony

Christina gets the first rose and I realize I’m just not a fan. Cat get’s the final rose of the night and I’m really not a fan of her. Nine ladies go home: Holland, Sonia, Cara, Lekha, Olivia (who?), Olivia M, Becca, Vanessa, and Viktoria.

And that’s it for night one my BBs! Stick with me this season and we just might make it through! My favorite lady remains Genevie. Who’s your stand out at this point??

Until next week!

xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelorettes Season Finale Part 2 & ATFR

September 21, 2022 Shannon

It’s finally the finale of the finale BBs!!! ABC kept me hostage for what felt like 3 years watching this today!!! Let’s dive in!

We open back with Gabby and Erich talking. Remember he JUST said he wants to date her. But they leave it on good terms.

Rachel goes to Tino’s room and tells him he’s the only one here. UGH. He looks like a mob kid.

ABC is broadcasting this live from LA so they cut to G & R. Gabby is wearing a tiny TINY dress! And Rachel looks shell shocked! That girl has SEEN things!

Back to Mexico, where R is in the proposal spot looking beautiful. Tino comes out and proposes and they ride off (awkwardly) on a horse!

The whole time R is watching the playback and she does NOT look happy. Neither does her father, Big Tony. Rachel tells us that Tino cheated on her! Say WHAT NOW??? He couldn’t keep it in his pants for 3-4 months until After The Final Rose??? Men are GARBAGE. NOT ONLY did he cheat on her… he had the audacity to ask her to not tell anyone about his cheating so they could fake it through ATFR!!! I mean!!!

Jesse then says they have footage of R confronting T about the cheating and we might need some wine to watch it, that it’s hard to watch!!! Why?? Is there waterboarding involved?? Tino comes over to this little house where R is and he’s brought with him a notebook. What’s in the book T? Your hopes and dreams?? T says “the moment I kissed another girl I knew I belonged with you.” VOMIT. He also keeps saying that it was a “tiny” thing. TINY? Cheating is tiny??? Lawd help me!!! Oh, and he keeps referencing his notebook where he’d transcribed conversations between himself and Rachel!!! UNREAL!!! Plus, he keeps walking off out of the house and covering his mic, complaining to producers that he is looking bad. He comes back in and R says she is done and hands him the ring. He leaves.

In LA Tino comes on stage. He and R continue to talk in circles, but he does apologize. Then….Aven comes out!!! He asks Rachel if he could take her somewhere so they can catch up and she says yes! SWOON!!!!

Back in Mexico, Gabby is waiting with her boobs mostly out in a mesh top dress for Erich. He comes and proposes! I really hope things work out for them! I’m shocked he proposed after just wanting to date, but good luck you crazy kids!

In LA, Gabby and Erich come on stage and discuss the texts that E’s ex released (WHY are people keeping all this “evidence”???). E is accused of only wanting to go on the show to further his career. NO MENTION of his blackface yearbook photo. I love G & E but I’m disappointed in you ABC. You gotta ask the hard questions!!!

The last 45 minutes of this hellscape is the announcement of the new Bachelor! It’s Zach! The physical embodiment of khaki pants!!! YAWN. I’m already bored. They bring on 5 women to meet Zach and let America choose by tweet who he should give the first impression rose to. The women are 3 blonde ladies who could be triplets, a dark haired girl, and a black girl. LOADS of diversity ABC. The black girl, Brianna, wins the first impression rose and she deserves it, she is super cute with her introduction.

And that is it BBs!!! Until next time when I see you in Paradise!!! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelorettes Fantasy Suites Part 2

September 7, 2022 Shannon

BBs!!! It’s time for part 2 of this week’s emotional hostage situation!!! I’m exhausted from it all so you can imagine how our bachelorettes feel!!!

We pick up with Gabby walking back up to Erich and hugging him. As you probably remember, E is feeling insecure and told G that this Fantasy Suites week feels like cheating. Things are tense for sure between the two of them. Side note- the more E is on camera, the cuter he becomes, even with that horrible hair do!!!

Gabby & Jason’s Fantasy Suite date

Before their date even begins, Jason is busy talking to Jesse about how he’s not ready for an engagement. Jason’s talking more right now than he has all season! But why wait until now Jason?? For the free trips?? Hmmm Not only is he not ready to commit to an engagement, he doesn’t have that strong of feelings for G! YIKES. 😬

G&J play tennis. Apparently J played in college and G wanted to have a fun day that he’d relate to. Oh, and that J might be the ONE. They swim and make out afterwards and NOT ONCE during this time does J speak up! That night J finally says he’s “not there yet” and he’s not ready for an engagement. G walks away in tears and J follows her after a looong beat. He keeps telling her things like “I’m here for you” but he still doesn’t want to get married any time soon. He even says he doesn’t know G that well!!! AND SHE STILL let’s him go to the Fantasy Suite with her!!! GIRL. The next morning the music changes and there’s all these shots of a made bed, a dead bee in a champagne glass. It’s weird and ominous. G says she and J were talking in circles and at one point she said “this just isn’t meant to be,” and Jason replied “yeah, definitely.” YEAH, DEFINITELY. OMG. He’s just asking to be shivved in the yard!!! G goes to J’s room for another talk and I swear that girl has YET to wear a bra. Gabby- trust me when I tell you that you and your boobs will regret these days in a few years!!! Anyway, they break up and G leaves in big time TEARS. Sobbing over this emotionally unavailable guy. Poor thing!!! She feels so unlovable.

Rachel & Zach’s Fantasy Suite date

Rachel and Zach tour the little town. They drink tequila and eat chips and get a tarot card reading. That night Z tells R that he’s in love with her and wants to spend his life with her. Everything seems to be going well and they go to the FS. The next morning something seems off. Z&R seem stiff and formal with each other. Z says that they spoke about religion and politics and those things were eye opening. That R is worried about his age. They are just a few months apart! WEIRD. Z goes to talk about all this with Jesse and even says R was inauthentic!!! Z is in tears!

Meanwhile Gabby is journaling and saying that her person might not even be here! What about Erich I scream! G must have heard me because she goes to see E and they are chatting and she tells him she loves him. WHICH- is nice and all but 2 seconds ago she didn’t know if her person was here!!! Don’t settle for the last man standing! BUT I do really like them together. They have WAY more chemistry than any of her other men did. Anyway, E is elated and smothers her with kisses and love yous.

Rachel’s Rose Ceremony

Aven (swoon), Tino (ugh), and Zach (who looks like his dog just died) arrive for the ceremony. Z tells Jesse he needs to talk to R. Just as R is about to hand out the first rose, Z stops her and asks to speak. They walk outside and that’s it!!! ABC cuts to Jesse in LA. WHUT?!? Jesse says we won’t get to see the rose ceremony! That we all need to take some time. He literally says “Prepare yourselves”. What in the holy cheese puffs is going on???

Until next week BBs!!! I’m off to prepare myself!!! xo 🌹

events, pop culture

An evening with a cute Scotsman

April 29, 2011May 6, 2011 Shannon

I’m on the Comedy Zone’s email list and the other day I saw they were giving away tickets to Craig Ferguson‘s show. I replied to the email but my hopes weren’t up. They sent the email out at 10 am and I didn’t see it until 1 pm so I thought my chances were pretty slim. But somehow I won! CSP was scheduled to close at work so he couldn’t go. But I remembered that Gigi loves Craig so I called her up. I picked her up after work and we had dinner at Red Bowl. Love that place. Then we made our way to Oven’s Auditorium. The people watching was pretty top notch. We ended up with pretty good seats, especially since they were free! There was an opening guy but I don’t remember his name. Trust me though, you don’t want to see that dude’s show. He literally read his jokes from big cards in his hand. It’s like they just found him on the side of the road and said “Here, read these jokes and we’ll give you $50.” He was terrible. Then this giant genie and a little person wheeled out a treasure chest. Pardon the pics. No flash photography and I was using my old iPhone. There were a couple puppets in the treasure chest.

Then finally Craig came out. He was really cute and funny. I just love his accent! It was pretty cool to see him since I’ve seen quite a few of his movies, watched him on the Drew Carey show for so long, and also watched his late night show. Gigi commented that it must be a LOT of pressure to walk out on stage and it’s just you and a microphone and you have to entertain thousands of people for an evening. I totally agree. But my goodness how nice that must feel when they all stand up and cheer at the end!

fun

Damn You Auto Correct!

March 7, 2011March 11, 2011 Shannon

I was checking out my friend Susan’s Facebook wall when she (or someone commenting on her wall, I can’t remember) mentioned the site Damn You Auto Correct.com. I’d never heard of this site but I’ve sure experienced my share of cursing at my iPhone when the auto correct feature turns normal misspellings into ridiculous word substitutions. So I clicked over and immediately began laughing. Not just a regular chuckle, but full on can’t breathe tears running down my face howling. I’m serious. Now, you may be reading this and think “Come on, NO site is that funny!” PEOPLE, I’m telling you. This site is. My Mom & I spent like 20 minutes the other day going “ooh did you see the one where…” because IT’S SO. FLIPPING. FUNNY!!! So go! Now! You’re welcome!