Bless Your Heart

Jon’s parents took us to Buca di Beppo for dinner last night to celebrate our fourth anniversary. (Our actual anniversary is tomorrow, the 3rd.) We sat at the kitchen table again, which is always entertaining. The food was fabulous as always. My in-laws gave us a gift card for another dinner and a cd compilation of songs from the Cirque du Soleil shows. We saw ‘O’ on our honeymoon, so Cirque is pretty special to us. Next year we’d love to go to Vegas, where we spent our honeymoon, and see Cirque’s new show.

We took Ike & Kea to their first official dinner party the other night. Marsha & Larry (friends of Jon’s parents) invited us and the in-laws over for Venison stew. I hadn’t had deer meat since I was much younger and mah Daddy did him some huntin. So it took a while to get over the mental hurdles, but I did eat some. And she did a great job with it, it tasted mostly like a beef roast.

Marsha and Larry have 2 lasa ahpsos (sp?) and 2 Tibetan spaniels. The Tibbies are around the same age as Ike & Kea so we’ve been trying to have a little puppy mixer for quite some time. They all got along famously. Ike promptly fell in love with the girl spaniel Namba and proceeded to shake his little pug tush every time he’d walk past her. He smiled all night long, and at one point we found the two of them nuzzling in the kitchen! I’ve never seen anything like it. More pictures are found here.

I visited Sara and the babies the other night and Jake showed off his cowboy hat. He’s now sleeping in his big boy rocketship bed, which is too cute. Marc built it and Sara painted it and it’s gotta be the coolest toddler bed I’ve seen. You can click here for more pictures of my nephews and the rocket ship bed.

Why did I name this blog “bless your heart”? Well, for one, it’s hard to come up with something witty when you’re under pressure. So I just went with something I say a lot. And when you’re Southern you bless everyone’s heart all the time. Every day someone’s heart get’s blessed. It just means we love you and care!

Now, in honor of my Southern roots I’m going to quiz you fine folk on how Southern you are at heart. Emily Procter was on Ellen a little while back and quizzed Ellen with this and I thought it was so cute. So here goes. Scroll down for answers. You’re on the honor system here.

1- When you tell a child to “give me some sugar”, what do you mean?
2- Describe “yonder”.
3- If you’re driving down a 2 lane road in the South and you’re behind a car who’s blinker is on, will they be turning or not?
4- What is the plural of Ya’ll?
5- Is the word “fixin” a noun, a verb, or both?

1- Gimme a kiss!
2- Over there.
3- They are not turning.
4- All Ya’ll!
5- Both

Now I’m fixin to go ovah yonder to get me some sugar from my nephews. All Ya’ll go drink some sweet tea with all the fixins now! Mwah!

I was born a prissy, prissy thing. Apparently as a little girl I’d walk around holding my hands up like I’d just scrubbed in for surgery as to avoid any contact with dirt. It’s no secret. I’m also more of an inside girl. Sure, I love travel and snorkeling and such, but I’m not so much into the camping or hiking. And I’m pretty laid back. Jon is too. We have our beliefs and convictions but we don’t get into bar brawls over them. So it came as quite a surprise when 2 of my relatives, who’ve known me my entire life, offered up the following suggestions for our upcoming 4th wedding anniversary mini holiday.

#1- Uncle Bobby sends an email in response to a note I sent explaining we’d be in town in a couple weeks for our anniversary and would love to see him and the kids. His email seems innocent enough. Until you get to the part where he writes: “On March 5th, we plan to go to a peace march and we would love to have you guys join us. People Educating with an Active Commitment to Equality (P.E.A.C.E) will stage a march and street party/rally against the continued occupation of Iraq and the policies of the Bush administration. March 15th marks the 2nd anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, and our rally is a local event to mark that occasion.
See you soon, bring your camera
BOB

#2- My Father calls one day from “a mountain in Alabama”. I had no idea they had mountains in Alabama. I don’t really know much about Alabama. I’m sure it’s a wonderful place, it just hasn’t crossed my mind much. My Dad told me he was hunting deer there and staying in an RV that he keeps on some land a friend of his owns. “You and Jon can come here to get away from it all. Stay a few days. Now, you have to haul your own water.“

Now, people, let’s talk about these 2 insane people. First of all, sure, I voted Kerry. But I am not planning on strapping myself to a tree or yelling “Go limp! Dead weight!” as the cops drag me off from some march/rally that they are trying to disguise as a street party. Whatever Bobby. Jon and I plan on taking the pugs to the beach, doing some shopping, and chilling out. None of that involves yelling in the street about W and his policies. And I love how Uncle Bobby’s all sure that we’d go. See you soon, bring your camera. Don’t hold your breath Bob.

And Daddy, what the hell? When have you evah (sorry, had to go way down South for this one) known me to “haul my own water” anywhere? And I assume that when you haul your own water that means there’s no spa tub or functioning toilet. My idea of roughing it is when we stay at the mountain house and have to drop our trash off at the dump on the way out of town. I’m not spending our romantic weekend in Deliverance country with 2 pugs and a husband who’s probably not thrilled that since he had to haul his own water that means the chances of him getting a good, cold, draught beer anywhere close to our accommodations is pretty slim.

I swear my Daddy and my uncle have gone and lost their minds! They should really talk to Grandmommy the travel agent before they go making suggestions!

My Mom and I went to visit my Grandmommy the other day. She’s the one who lives in a rural area about an hour and a half south of here. I don’t know if you remember, but she’s the one who’s boyfriend Ray lives in the trailer on the next lot. He’s the one who fell drunk out of a tree, had a heart attack on the way down, and landed on his face where he stayed for 2 days before anyone found him. Heh. Anyway, we go down to visit with her and go out to lunch. While out at lunch she tells us about how she’s always wanted to go on a cruise, an Alaskan cruise, but the length of an Alaskan cruise is a little intimidating. So she wants to try out a shorter Caribbean cruise, and she wants to go with Ray. Oh Lord. So my Mom says why not let Shannon do some research for you on the web and get you a good deal? I said I would be happy to plan it for her. Grandmommy said “Well, I already paid some money on it.” Oh.

me- So where are you going?
G- I don’t know.
me- Ok, so when are you leaving?
G- I don’t know. I have a book on it at home.
Mom jumped in and said we’ll just look at it when we get home.
So we have lunch then drive home and I ask for the cruise book. Now, the book I got when Lisa and I cruised last explained all the details of our specific trip, including info about our cabin and shore excursions. Grandmommy’s just talked about cruising with Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and then there was a section on vacationing in Florida. I point this out and she hands me the other information that came with it.

OH MY WORD. My Grandmommy, bless her heart, has not put down a deposit on a cruise. No, she has signed up to be a travel agent. A TRAVEL AGENT! And none of the information actually tells her how to be a travel agent, or gives her any instructional information. So we took the packet so we can get it canceled and hopefully get her money back. Grandmommy needs to quit watching tv and go play shuffleboard or something!

My baby girl pug hurt herself playing. She came in from outside and a few minutes later Jon says “OK, who’s bleeding?”. There were little drops of blood all over the kitchen floor. She somehow ripped out a fingernail! Poor thing- it was all hanging there crooked. So I took her to the vet where she charmed everyone and was a big trooper. Our vet dressed her in a hot pink bandage. A girl’s gotta look good, even when injured!

*Unrelated- I’ve put some new scrapbooking supplies on eBay. Check em out!

We’ve been loving Netflix for almost a year now and they just keep getting better and better. Now they have a new friends feature that allows people to recommend movies to each other and see how we’ve all rated movies. Lisa and Rachel are already signed up to be my friends and it’s cool. So anyone else out there using Netflix and wanna be friends?

Since my nephew Joey was born on January 18, I’ve been playing phone tag with my father and grandparents (Nanny & Pappy). They all want to come up to see the babies and I’ve been elected to organize everything since Sara’s busy with the babies. Which is fine, I’m a planner and I love planning visits. Every week since then I’ve gotten a phone call or two saying “We’re coming up this weekend!” followed by another call the next day or so, “Trip is postponed.” My Nanny and Pappy are in their 80’s and Pappy is just about as blind as he can get now (remember, he’s the one that watches his 60 inch plasma tv with binoculars) so planning a trip with them can’t be easy for my Dad. The best message came the other day:

“Sara…Marc…Jacob…Joseph…You guys wake up! Oh wait. I’m at the wrong house. Sara, I mean, Shannon… Jon…Oh well, anyway this is your Daddy and we’re coming up next weekend. Your cousin Stephanie had a baby boy, er girl. He weighed 8 lbs something and her name is Cody. We’ll be staying at a motel Friday night then coming to your house Saturday Shannon. We’ll see Stephanie’s baby on the way back south. I wanna see my grandbabies!” Ok, so apparently my cousin gave birth to a hermaphrodite, bless her heart.

Then yesterday I get this message: “All trips are off! Until further notice all trips are off. Nanny and Pappy are coming but they can’t make it this weekend. So maybe in the next couple of weeks. Plus, I need to sell some dogs.“

My father leaves these messages at the crack of dawn before anyone is awake to answer the phone. Which is fine because then they provide endless entertainment as my sister and I play them for each other. None of the messages ever make sense. Sell some dogs? He’s not a dog breeder. And it’s still a mystery as to what Stephanie gave birth to since no one in our family answers the phone! And Cody could go either way. Oy. Once this visit is all planned and they actually get here I may need to video tape it because no one will believe these people actually exist!

I went to a play group with Sara & the babies the other day. It’s not as easy for Sara to get out with the two babies as it was when it was just Jake so I’m trying to help when I can. The sign on the door read Nut Free Zone due to peanut allergies. Turns out that play group was full of nuts. Joey snoozed through the whole thing in the sling Sara carries him in. It holds him really tight against her but leaves her hands free. He loves it and apparently so do lots of Mommies as I saw a couple of those slings at this gathering.

Jake is pretty shy so we hung out at the craft table and decorated goody bags the whole time. Moms and babies would come over and play and it was all pretty standard stuff except for two exchanges:

1) The Mom that organized this gathering walked around with the sign in sheet making sure everyone signed in. She gets to me and asks if I signed in.
No, I’m the Aunt, so I didn’t sign in, but I’m wearing my nametag.
Mom- But are you a Mommy?
Me- No.
Mom-You don’t have any kids?
Me- No.
Mom- So, you aren’t a Mommy, at all??
Now I’m feeling like I should just drop trou and show my scars and yell No I’m not a Mommy at all! Are you happy?? I got a good bit of satisfaction later in that her child clung to me for some reason and wouldn’t mind her mother while we were there.

2) So Moms and babies were dropping by the craft table and we’d all chat. One Mommy with an adorable blonde boy was wearing a cute bracelet that from what I could tell had letter charms on it. I wasn’t close enough to see what it spelled, so I asked.
Me- What a cute bracelet. Does it spell your little boy’s name?
Mom- No, it’s my daughter’s name. She was stillborn.
Me- Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.
Mom- Yeah, well me too.
She looks at me like how dare I ask that question, grabs her kid and goes to the other side of the room. Sara and I look at each other like what just happened?? Is she not wearing her dead child’s name on her arm for the world to see? How was I to know? It was an innocent question. I felt so badly for her, but I wasn’t prying, I don’t think. Am I the only one who would ask that question of her?

That may be my last play group for a while! =)