Bless Your Heart

Just another gratuitous pug shot for you. They were so cute sleeping all piled up on my MIL’s lap the other day!

Ok, so the picture has nothing to do with this post, but it’s just so daggum cute. I took this picture of Jake a week ago on my Mom’s stairs. I love this picture- he’s very photogenic.

My Mil is a librarian and there is this older couple who volunteer at the library. Their son and his wife adopted a little girl from China. So information got passed around and I was able to talk to the son. He was so nice and offered tons of advice and information about the process. He even recommended his agency. They were so impressed with the agency when they adopted their little girl that they are going through the process again with the same agency. They brought Abby home at age 2 & 1/2 last August and are at the home study stage for child #2 right now. He said Abby is doing great. They adopted an older child because he is 50 and his wife is 45. Jon and I will hopefully be referred a much younger baby because we’re younger. They are a really nice couple who are totally willing to help us and guide us through the process. I can’t tell you how awesome that is! We’ve felt kind of alone in all this since we don’t know anyone else in real life who’s done this. We’ll all be meeting up soon. I can’t wait to see their little girl.

I hadn’t spent much time thinking about the flight over to China until talking with that Dad. He told me it was 14 hours from Chicago, where they changed planes. And that because of the time changes that they took off at 12:30 pm and landed in China at 2:30 pm the same day! They were chasing the sun! The whole time zone thing blows my mind anyway, but what really boggles my brain is what are we going to do on a plane for 14 hours?! I can only sleep for so long. Will there be enough to drink? I’m a big drinker. It’s been rumored that I snore and I don’t want to bother people. I’m going to have to bring a BIG book that is remarkably interesting. Jon’s going to go insane. He’s 6′ 5″ and doesn’t fit well into those seats as is. His knees get bruised because there’s just not enough leg room. We may have to strap him to the wing!

Ike loves to perch up on the back of the sofa and watch what’s going on in the kitchen when I’m cooking or cleaning. So cute. I realized it’s been entirely too long since I’ve posted pictures of our puggies. Here’s one of Miss Kea. She’s recently discovered the joys of the belly rub and has assumed the belly rub position. Click on the photos to enlarge.

When Lisa was in town last time, she noticed a major difference in how us Southerners treat time vs. up North. We had 10 am appointments that were supposed to last 2.5 hours. We didn’t leave the salon until 3pm. I had to call the nail place twice to push back our appointments there since we were running long with massages and facials. Lisa couldn’t believe it. How casual we all are with time down here. And I’ve been surprised when visiting up North how quickly things move.

Example: Let’s say it’s 10am and we’re going to the store to buy lunch fixins. Here’s how it would work down here vs. up there.

South: Someone announces that we need to go to the store. It’s 10am. We discuss what we want at the store, call and see do any of our loved ones need anything at the store, get ready to go to the store, drink some sweet tea, answer the phone, clean the kitchen while on the phone, get in the car to go to the store, stop at the post office on the way, visit with a friend we see outside of the post office, get to the store, buy what we need, buy a lot of things that were not on the list, visit with a friend we spot in the aisle, load the care, make another stop at a different store on the way home since we’re near it, get home, unload the car. It is now 2pm.

North: Announce we’re going to the store. Get in the car and go. Buy what we need. Come home and unload car. It’s now 11am.

I used to date a guy from Maine and once when we were in Maine visiting his family they announced they were going to the store, did I want to go. So I’m getting ready to go and they’re already in the car! Amazing how fast these people move! Must be the cold Northern air!

I discovered Story People at a tiny gallery in Blowing Rock, NC about 7 years ago. I became addicted. Brian Andreas is the artist and he creates prints, cards, sculpture, furniture, the works. But the thing that gets me in my heart are the words, the little stories. I gave this one to Jon on our first anniversary (paper anniversary). It is called No Words. It says:” I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.” It summed up how much I love him- so much that it’s almost more than I can stand. I visit the Story People site often, to catch up on new stories. I found one recently, called Such Small Things, that is serving as more motivation to bring Lingling home. It says: “For a long time there were only your footprints & laughter in our dreams & even from such small things, we knew we could not wait to love you forever”.

So go check out Story People. I bet you’ll find something that says what you’ve been feeling. Oh, and bring tissues- you’ll be teary eyed in no time!

I do say ass, damn, and hell. On occasion I may say the s word, but I don’t like to. I like a PG13 house. I do not condemn people who curse. It’s not my place to judge, so I don’t. My husband has a mouth like a sailor and I love him. My best friend swears with the best of them and tries to get me to say bad words. Peer pressure!

I just think that it loses it’s effectiveness when people swear casually. If you are very angry and swear using the same words you used that morning to talk about your coffee, is your point made? Do you really get anyone’s attention? Now, if I yell a swear word it’s like the earth stops spinning for a moment and people actually say things like “OMG she just said bleep” and they pay attention to what I have to say. It’s very effective.

I also think it’s lazy and common. You can totally not pussyfoot around and still not use swear words. Come up with some better vocabulary words. You can’t find some other way to describe what you’re talking about than bleeping bleep bleep?

Now, this is just my opinion and if you want to tell me to bleep off then I understand. But don’t expect a swear word retort from me. I’m the worst cusser and you’d probably hear something back like “Fine you shitblocker.” And that just doesn’t make a bit of sense to anyone.

My sister and I have had some conversations recently about manners. Her husband (who’s from Buffalo, NY) and his family think it’s rude to say yes ma’am and no ma’am, or sir, because it “implies the person is old”. We were brought up to always say yes ma’am no ma’am, please and thank you, and to call adults by Mr. or Mrs. Jones unless they say we can call them by their first names. Then it’s still Mr. John or Miss Susan. And cussing? Don’t even get me started. You just don’t swear down South. Especially if you’re a lady. Men shouldn’t swear in front of a woman and women just shouldn’t. We were raised to believe that it made you seem trashy if you had a trashy mouth.

So imagine our discomfort when my sister Sara and I watched Closer on dvd this weekend. Ay yi yi. They said all those c words, the f word every other word, it just went on and on. The whole movie was about sex, yet no one had sex on camera.

Today people are more casual. In some families it’s ok to say huh and what instead of pardon me. And swearing is acceptable, even around your parents.

So I wonder…do we still live in a fantasy world where it’s considered “snobby” to speak with ma’ams and pardon me’s, or is it just good manners? What do you think?

So here’s where I whore myself out to you, my dear readers, in the hopes that you’ll spend just 4 minutes of your life doing something really painless that will make you money. See, I’m trying to get creative about raising money for our adoption while I’m looking for a job. I’m not sure of the legalities of walking around with a jar asking for money from strangers. But I say if the cashier at the kwicky mart can put out a jar with a picture taped to it why can’t I? I need to fashion something I can wear around my neck with a picture of a Chinese baby. This is all so distasteful, even in theory, that I’m sure my homestudy social worker would love to get an earful.

So, where do you fit in? Well, ING Direct pays 3% right now on their Orange Savings Accounts. Doesn’t sound like much but most money markets are only going for around 2.4%. They are FDIC insured, and there is no minimum to open an account. You can get in for just one dollar. $1 people. No fees. And here’s the part you’ll like. When you open an account they give you a $25 bonus for opening the account! That money has to stay in the account for 30 days then it’s yours. The part I like (besides seeing wonderful people get free cash) is that if you open the account by clicking on the link in the email I’ll send you- I’ll get $10 for referring you. And Lingling’s adoption account is $10 richer. Everyone wins. And the cycle can go on forever. You open your account and refer people and you’ll get $10 every time your friends get their $25. Lisa started this whole thing with me, she got her $25, then $10 when I signed up. I got my $25 too. I would never lead you wrong. So, who’s with me? If you’d like to help out, just email me at blessblog at yahoo.com or leave your email in my comments box and I’ll send you a referral.

And for everyone who does this favor for me- you’ll get a free pair of handmade earrings crafted just for you in your favorite colors by me. You’ll be $25 richer and looking fab in your new jewels. You can’t beat that with a bat.

You guys amaze me. You really do. If you ever want to know who really cares for you, who your friends are, and who’s got your back, just dive right in and start on one of the most challenging adventures of your life. In our case it’s adopting a baby from China. Why it’s challenging is that we have no money. We have no money because we spent everything we had on medical bills and making up for missed wages this last year while I was operated on and/or was sick from fertility treatments. And then, as you now know, I lost my job. So now we’re doing the logical thing and are trying to adopt at a price tag of around $20,000 after travel and all that. I know I’ll get a new job, and we’ll do everything possible to raise money. I’m not above having car washes and bake sales right in my yard if needed. When I want something I plow ahead, even if I don’t have all the details ironed out. So I sent Easter cards and included announcements to family members that we’re adopting from China. I figured if I told you guys and told our family and friends then we’d have to make it happen somehow. And then the most amazing things started happening. I’m trying not to cry as I type this. I’m just overwhelmed. First I told you guys all about our plans and you responded with the most amazing comments and emails. Then I got a card in the mail from my friend Holly letting us know how excited she and her husband and daughter are for us. She included a check for the baby fund for $100! Then I check the mail and receive the most amazing little book from an amazing woman- Andrea. It’s called I love you like Crazy Cakes and it’s about a woman who adopted from China. I have it on an easel in the den so we see it every day. Then my MIL comes over Sunday and sees the book and said she bought it for me too, for Mother’s Day. But she has another one in mind for me. It just blows me away the support we’re receiving. It touches my heart and keeps me motivated to bring Lingling home so I can send you her picture.

Sunday night we went to the Comedy Zone to see Frank Caliendo. The show was awesome. Frank is Jon’s favorite comic and he did not disappoint! I laughed so hard my face hurt. We took Jon’s parents. This was their very first trip to a comedy club of any type. My in-laws are conservative people. They are the literal stereotypes of their occupations. My FIL is a judge- quiet, stern, no nonsense. My MIL is a librarian- quiet, sweet, no frills.

Well, we got front row seats and as luck would have it the 2nd comedian of the night singled out my FIL. Oh. Lord. Here’s what happened:

Comedian: What’s your name my friend?

FIL: Dennis

C: Are you married?

FIL: Yes

C: How long?

FIL: 35 years.

Awwwws from the audience.

C: Ok, Dennis, I’m going to ask you a question and you think of a real romantic answer and you might just get some booty tonight. Out of all the women you dated, and you look like you had lots of women, why did you choose this one to marry?

*At this point Jon is dying and I’m squealing because the LAST thing we want to picture is the 2 of them getting some booty.

FIL: Because she’s my best friend.

More Awwwws from the audience.

C: Woo boy that was a good one! You’re sho gonna get some booty tonight! Not right here Dennis, you gotta wait til you get home. But then you might even get some of that role play booty. Like she’s a librarian, and you’ve got late books and no money to pay the fine!

*Now Jon’s stabbing out his eardrums and I’m yelling to the comedian that she’s really a librarian. My in-laws are laughing but they have a slight horrified look in their eyes.

C: Even better! Now she knows exactly how much to charge you! You’re a lucky man tonight Dennis!

~The baby’s name is Reese.