Bless Your Heart

So, where were we? The morning of Saturday June 30th came with a cast of very interesting characters in the form of hospital staff. My breakfast appeared at 7am- chicken broth, apple juice and jello. YUM. Then a creepy man came in to take my blood. While he worked on me he told CSP the most bizarre stories without any prompting from either Jon or I. The guy never spoke a word to me. It was just weird. Then a woman wearing an awful lot of perfume and a large grin came in with a white haired doctor, neither of whom I’d ever met. Oh, and during breakfast this woman came in my room, stopped at the doorway and announced in the most monotonous voice since Bueller, Bueller “I’m here for your meal selections.” She had a thick mask of makeup with drawn on brows and at least a dozen stud earrings in each ear. She was not pleased if I didn’t select the first meal choice she offered and she pronounced vegetables like “veggie tuh bulls”. Cracked us up.
Somewhere in all this I noticed my belly was all puffed up and asked the nurse about it. She said they filled my abdomen with gas and that I’d have to poot before I could go home. I’d never felt sexier.
My crazy sister had called my cell at 6:18 am (!!!) to see if they could come visit. Sara & the boys came by around 9 with pretty pink gerbera daisies and sweet get well cards. Jon went home to check on the pugs and shower when they got there since he knew I wouldn’t be alone. My visit with my sister and nephews was going well until Sara found the pedals for my bed. She showed the boys how to mash them down and next thing I know my bed’s rising up in the air! They kept going and going and it was fun at first then I got a little scared. I looked down and saw the top of Sara’s head and 2 giggling little boys. Why a hospital bed would go up that high is beyond me. I felt like I was there for an oil change!They finally let me down after some up & down action and by then I was nauseous. They got me carsick on my bed! I ordered nausea meds. Quite a feat let me tell you. I’d click the nurse button and never hear anything. So we’d just kind of yell what we needed after clicking the button. During my hospital stay we discovered that my nurse intercom was broken and only worked the one way- you could just barely hear them talking back. That my meal tray was broken and wouldn’t expand, and they were short on pillow cases. I swear I got the ghetto room.