Bless Your Heart

Bethanie asked how am I doing and I’ve been wanting to write a wee update on all that so here goes. I am thrilled for Sara and Marc about the birth of Joey. I am thrilled for our entire family that we’re blessed with another sweet, healthy baby. I am extremely grateful to Sara for inviting me into the delivery room again so I can experience birth in person. She knows I may never see my own children being born. And that was really the only time I was sad during the whole Joey’s birth experience. Knowing that since this is their last planned child, that Joey’s may be the last miracle of birth I may get to witness. So I’m pretty excited about how happy I am with all this. No poor me tears.

Jon, on the other hand, has had a rough couple of days. I think he’s been so caught up in caring for me that he hasn’t processed his loss until now. He’s upset that it’s just not fair that while others get to have such easy family planning, that we have to go through interviews and home studies and extreme debt (unless we can come up with the money) in order to have a family.

Talking to my mom this morning about Jon’s feelings made me realize something. She said we need to make room in our lives for children, and thank God we didn’t have any with what we’ve been through over the last couple of years. That had we had kids to care for on top of my health issues that we’d have truly lost our minds. She’s right. So maybe now that things are shaping up we will actually have room in our lives for children.

My new meds seem to be working out nicely. I have one more follow up with my Dr next week to make sure I’m doing well enough on these meds. I’m sleeping better. I’m throwing up less (twice last week, once so far this week). That’s a huge improvement over the every day puking I was dealing with. I did have a panic attack last week, but got over it pretty quickly. Since the d&c I’m not bleeding or cramping anymore. I don’t shake as much now that I’ve had a med change. Things are looking up.

I’m really thankful that I have this blog as an outlet and my bloggy people as support. While on one level I’m aware that I’m posting rather intimate information on the world wide web, I know that without the whole blog community and forum that recovering from everything would have been so much worse. I’d have felt so much more alone. So thank you bloggy peeps!