Bless Your Heart

What can happen when you’re heavily medicated and suddenly have lots of free time:

Jon: (as we’re drifting off to sleep) Why are there french fries on the deck and in the birdfeeder?

Me: Well, you cooked them and didn’t eat them and I didn’t want to be wasteful so I thought the birds would like a treat.

J: Yeah, well I saw a bird try to pick one up and he looked at me and said “This is not birdseed. This is a *%& french fry.” Then he gave me the finger and flew off.

Me: Birds don’t have fingers.