Bless Your Heart

In an effort to cheer myself up and while doing so preparing for my friend Holly’s wedding this weekend, I’ve spent some quality me time at the salon lately. First there was the hair cutting and highlighting and that all turned out quite nicely. Then I moved on to Lee Anne’s room for my leg & brow wax. Let me tell you something people, if you’re ever going through a hard thing, go to the salon. I was there from 10-4 the other day and there was much talking, hugging, and crying. And your salon ladies are totally objective and confidential. Cheapest therapy I’ve ever paid for.

You may remember me mentioning the horrific dress I have to wear Saturday. They call it champagne colored but we all know it’s wet cardboard or nude pantyhose take your pick. In the dress I was various shades of the same color from head to toe with no way to tell that I was not in fact wearing a full body stocking. So Lee Anne talked me into letting her give me a Fantasy Tan. I got the lightest one available, Sunspray light. I exfoliated in the tub the night before then went in to get sprayed. After you get your base tan, she sprays a pink tinted moisturizer all over you that will wash off in your next shower. You are standing in this booth arms and legs spread as she airbrushes you, blotting as she goes. No machines involved, it’s all done by Lee Anne and her airbrush thingy. And get this, she only charges $15 a session! Most salons in Charlotte charge between $30 & 45. Woohoo! Then you go back within 48 hours to do a follow up tan so it will last a good long time. I did the follow up on Saturday, just before we went to my in laws’ for dinner.

I walk in to greet my MIL and she says “Wow, you’ve changed colors!” And it is amazing. I’ve never had a tan in my life! I’m so fair I just burn, not tan. Plus I’m not too fond of cancer so I stay out of the sun. But now… My teeth look Ross white, my hands look great and my wedding rings finally contrast against my skin so you can see them now. Jon’s been having a ball with all the tan jokes. “Oh, don’t turn out the lights or I’ll lose you. Oh wait just smile and there you are!”

This was the first time we’d been out to Jon’s parents’ house since my emotional distress meltdown whatever you want to call it. So there was more talking and hugging and crying. But we quickly learned how to cry when you’re tan. My MIL looked at me and said “Oh no, your tan! Cry up- you’re getting stripes!”

While Jon and his Dad were grilling the brats for dinner Jon called me out to the patio. There at the end of the patio (it’s really long) was a family of 4 raccoons eating dog food my FIL puts out for them. He loves them. He tried naming them but once he used Bandit (natch) he ran out of raccoon names. They were so cute and they let us watch them for a good 15 minutes before they disappeared back into the darkness. They live in the storm drain at the end of my FIL’s yard where the creek is.

And for a mental update: I’m still not sleeping. It’s currently 1:38am and I should be sleeping but I can’t. Even with the 2 different meds that are supposed to help me sleep. The last few days have been mixed. Some good, but mostly not so good. The other night I woke up vomiting, and apparently had been vomiting in my sleep because I was lying in it. Nice. There was my poor little bite guard drowning in the remains of dinner. Jon held Ike back (Mommy’s a snack machine!) while I cleaned it up. And today was not so good. Anxiety attacks and what not. But on the whole it really is getting better. I’m just amazed that I still have tears left. And not just that one tear clowns have, but lots of them that come with racking sobs. I never knew I could be so sad about something so out of my control. And I’m coming to realize that I’ve made a mistake. Beyond talking with my husband and close family and a dear, dear friend, I’ve really been keeping it in. I mean, I know I blog about it, and I can’t tell you how much it helps to read such supportive feedback. But blogging is easier. It’s like I’m writing a report and I can do it and not cry while telling you guys about it all. Anyway, I’ve finally returned some phone calls from worried friends and got schooled in “don’t shut us out we love you and you don’t have to go through this alone”. I’d just been so embarrassed that I couldn’t handle this. But as it turns out I didn’t need to be embarrassed, at least not with the people who love me.

Now I’m just embarrassed about the uncontrollable crying over silly things: My nephew Jake giving me a hug and pucker kiss (he just learned that), finding out that the other bridesmaid in this wedding is a five foot nine inch African American beauty who apparently looks divine in champagne/taupe/nudepantyhose, and Extreme Makeover Home Addition- darn those deserving families and their grateful thank yous!

And if this keeps up I’ll be crying over all the stripes on my face from crying!

Ok, I’m going to take my tan self back to bed and close my tan eyelids and try and get some sleep. See ya’ll in the morning!