Bless Your Heart

Self aware

I know my limitations. There are some things I just can not do well at all and I’m not afraid to admit it. I love how people are surprised though when things go badly after I tell them I’m no good at that particular task. My MIL was appalled at my cutting skills when she insisted I cut the cake for dessert. I told them- I can’t cut things with a knife! I can’t chop vegetables, cut into desserts of any kind without making a mess. It’s just not something I’m adept at. Some other things I can’t do (and how):

• Sing or hum. I’m soooo tone deaf. But I’ve always heard if you can’t sing, then sing loud. Lucky listeners! And playing Cranium is always a hoot for my family when I pull a humdinger. It’s always an easy win for them!
• Back up a vehicle. Yep, that’s why our shrubs look that way. Oh, and sorry about your lawn FIL!
• Take pictures for informational purposes. Example: I toured some model homes of the new development being built near us the other day, but Jon couldn’t go because he was working. So I took pictures to show him. Unfortunately they turned out to show things like the rack in the closet, and the toilet, and a doorknob. He looked at them, laughed, and told me my photo taking abilities sucked so bad they blew.
• Dance. It’s scary. Remember Elaine on Seinfeld? I could totally give her a run for her money. No rhythm. No coordination. Just a lot of jerks and spasms. But it is so fun!

I also am aware of things I can do well. I’m a quick study. Unfortunately none of my talents have brought me fame or fortune, but they make for an interesting list I suppose.

• Crafts. Anything arts & crafty I can do. Show me how to knit and I’m a knitter. I can paint, draw, sculpt, crochet, sew, scrapbook, you name it. I can make just about anything too if I put my mind to it: candles, jewelry, ornaments, decorations, whatever. Just ask my family as they are lucky recipients of so many of my handmade sursies.
• Technical stuff. I can program a vcr in no time. You need help setting up your sound system? Got it. Can’t figure out your cell phone or digital camera? I’m all over it. I’ve tutored many an elder family member on computers and other electrical equipment. And everyone I know asks me how to find things on the internet.
• Bizarre sports. I can golf, play badminton, roller skate, ice skate, cut flips on the trampoline and kick your butt in croquet. You can’t even imagine my excitement when I found out badminton is an Olympic sport!
• Cook. For some unknown reason I can make a kick ass lasagne, and turn any combo of meat and pasta into a decent meal. I’m not a bad baker either. I’ve never really had a recipe fail that I’ve tried. You’d think I’d cook more knowing this huh?
• Sell. I can sell water to a drowning man. Ice to an Eskimo. People tell me all the time that IKEA should be paying me. Strangers approach me in stores and ask for my help with their shopping. Just last Saturday in Target I helped a lady put together a care package for her nephew who’s being deployed to Iraq. I don’t know her or her nephew from Adam. Hope he likes it!
• Finally, remember song lyrics and random pop culture. If I could use the space in my brain to cure cancer or split atoms instead of being able to sing every word to It Takes Two by Rob Base, well, then can’t we all agree the world would be a better place?