Bless Your Heart

Mrs. Roboto’s commentary on her husband’s family’s unbelievably bad luck with pets made me feel a little comforted in the fact that I’m not the only one who’s had such bad pet karma. It all started when I was a wee little girl. I had this brand new kitten named Snowball who I carried everywhere. I carried her in the crook of my arm and apparently didn’t realize that I had strangled her. I told my Mom that she’d been sleeping all day and wondered why she wouldn’t play with me. Mom realized what had happened and took Snowball away. I think she told me later that Snowball had gone to live on some magical kitty farm or something.

It just snowballed from there. Heh. There are so many pets that I have no idea where they’ve ended up. Casey (black lab), Zero (mutt), Jean-Luc (psycho kitty)- they all ended up with old boyfriends, but I don’t know if they still live with them. I had a pet crayfish named Sam that lived in a mayonnaise jar in the bathroom when I was in middle school. He didn’t last long. And a few years ago I tried my luck with hermit crabs. They died out on the porch after just a week. When my sister and I were young we had hamsters (or gerbils- aren’t they all the same anyway?). One somehow ended up in the dryer, and one met it’s end when it slipped down a hole on the second floor in the hot water heater closet. We couldn’t get to him. That was just terrible- we could hear him scratching in the walls for a few days. Then it just got quiet.

And we all know how bad I am with fish. All this and one day I’ll be responsible for children?? Say a prayer for me. And them!