Ok, so for those of you who have in-laws that don’t spend any time in the same areas that your parents are, what do you do about your kid(s)’ birthday parties? Have 2? One for each set of parents? Or just have one and if one set of parents doesn’t show then tough cookies?
People ask me about my husband CSP’s name all the time. Does he live up to it? Why do we call him CSP instead of his real name ? Well, he is super private and super careful about safety. CSP does not want me to use his real name on the internet. The moment I type out his first name and it hits the interwebs people all over the world will know exactly who he is and bum rush the house. So Susan came up with Captain Safety Pants because of his safety record. And does he live up to the name? ONLY EVERY DAY.
The other night I came home from girls’ night . CSP was already at home enjoying an evening with the pugs. I was wearing a long skirt and the pugs came running up to greet me like they usually do. Except they have been more excited than usual since we moved. I think they are still getting used to the move and are just so relieved that we actually come home to the new joint after we leave. Anyway, they all came running up and standing up on their hind legs to greet me (we’re working on this). They are little dogs and are trying to get closer to my face to say hello. I sat down on the sofa next to CSP and we started talking. After a little while I noticed my leg was stinging. I looked down and my foot was in a puddle of blood! One of the pugs scratched my leg with their claw.
CSP sprung into action! GET IN THE BATHTUB!!! He was frantic. He dragged me into the bathroom and put me in the shower. He grabbed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and started dousing my legs while going on about how open wounds were gonna put me right back in the hospital and how could I die of infection when we just moved into this house!
It’s been over a week and I’m still alive but CSP continues to watch me for any further developments.
Maybe it’s all men, maybe it’s just mine, but I’m noticing some nuttiness lately that can’t be explained. Example, the following picture: This is CSP giving me the finger because I’m trying to capture for posterity how cute he looks in his new glasses. He was convinced the picture would end up on the internet. Well, why deny the inevitable? Here he is, on the internet, looking smart as a whip in his new specs. I fear he’s only a few vulgar hand gestures away from being the crazy old man on our street! A few days after this picture was taken we were in the car. Together. In a vehicle. When CSP says to me “So, what are you doing for dinner?” WHA?? Oh, well I was hoping you’d drop me off at Olive Garden and I’ll meet you back at home. What goes through his head? Please tell me I’m not the only one with a crazy husband out there!
Do you have a list? A list of people (usually famous) that you and your spouse/life partner have agreed could have relations with your spouse/life partner and you would let it slide. I had a dream, you know the kind, about Antonio Ballatore. I woke up feeling appropriately ashamed. If you don’t know Antonio, he’s the most recent winner of HGTV’s Design Star show and now he has his own show, The Antonio Treatment. Some of you may be surprised that I have a crush on him as you may not think he’s my type. But I don’t really have a type. I find many different types of men attractive.
Anyway, CSP & I had never had the “List” conversation, until last night.
Hey Honey, are there any celebs you’d want to put on your freebie list?
Jeesh, what are you reading now? Did some magazine tell you to ask me this?
No, just tell me. If you could have a freebie little love romp with some celebrity, who would it be?
What? Gross! Nobody!
So if Salma Hayek came to the door right now and wanted to get it on with you, and I’d let it slide, you wouldn’t go for it?
What about Supernanny? You like her.
Not like that!
Well who do you like like that?
Nobody! Stop talking!
I talked to Gigi about it today and she said that Papa had never heard of the List either and was equally as horrified.
So, do you have a list?
CSP wasn’t feeling so hot last night so we celebrated our anniversary tonight. We went to IKEA first to check out all the new Summer stuff. And sofas. We need a new sofa. And either a love seat or a chair & a half with an ottoman. Apparently they are in the middle of discontinuing some models and coming out with new ones. The sofa lady said check back next month so we’ll see what they come up with. All that and we only ended up buying a dust pan! Ha!
After IKEA we went to Carrabba’s for dinner. You know we aren’t huge fans of chains but this is one of the few we like a lot. We had the BEST waitress. CSP told me to keep my trap shut and there was no need to tell her it was our anniversary but of course I did. She totally hooked me up with a fabulous salad which was awesome because I’m not a fan of their regular house salad (celery, olives & carrots). So she had them make for me a salad with pine nuts and a big fried goat cheese disc. SO good. She also made me mango iced tea (not on the menu but should be). CSP and I had our favorites- he got the Pollo Rosa Maria and I got the Chicken Bryan. Fab. Then our wonderful waitress surprised us with free dessert! CSP got the tiramisu and I tried the new Limoncello Bread Pudding. OMG SO good! We had leftovers and she packaged them up so nicely- including a fresh loaf of bread and olive oil and those herbs you dip them in! They really took such good care of us. She gave us a coupon book to come back and get freebies. Love her! I’m totally calling her boss and angling for a bonus or something for her!
When we got home I set the camera up on self timer and we took our official photo for our adoption file since we were looking nice. The battery in my remote was dead so I did a lot of running back and forth but we finally got a decent shot!
Nine years ago today I became Mrs. Cap’n Safety Pants and the world’s happiest girl. In the world. (please forgive the quality of the photo. It was before digital cameras so I took a picture of this picture. The flash made my girls on the left look like they are wearing a different color than my girls on the right but they are all the same periwinkle. I think they looked so beautiful!)