pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 2

It’s week 2 BBs and it’s time for dates and drama! First, the women move into the Bachelor mansion and they are extremely excited about it.

Group Date #1

Hilary Duff hosts the date. The ladies are tasked to set up a little girl’s birthday party. Cassidy is supposed to help set up a play house but flat out refuses. “I’m not here to hang streamers”. Instead she drags Clayton out of sight of the other ladies to the pool where they make out for a half hour. The two of them rejoin the group long enough for Cassidy to DROP THE CHILD’S BIRTHDAY CAKE ON THE GROUND!!! The same cake that Genevieve spent an hour decorating!!! None of this earns Cass any points with the women, who are currently plotting her death.


Clayton arrives at the after party in a hoodie and a sports jacket and I’m so confused!!! WHO is his stylist??? Such an odd pairing. The girls confront Cassidy about her behavior that day and our girl Cass DOES. NOT. CARE. She makes it v v clear she is here for one thing only and that is not making friends. Somehow Cassidy gets the group date rose and the other ladies are LIVID.

Susie’s 1-1

Susie LUCKS OUT on her date! She and C take a helicopter to a yacht to spend the day! They hang in the hot tub, swim, and make out. It’s not really all that noteworthy TBH. Susie reminds me SO much of Hannah B! And she says “LIKE” so much my head like hurts listening to her like, talk. She gets the rose.

Group Date #2

When the group date card is read out loud and Jill’s name isn’t on it, she cries tears and complains about how she left her friends and family and CAT! Bahahaha!!! Classic.
The group enters a room where a comedian is waiting to host the date. Ziwe is her name. Elizabeth sits next to Clayton and Shanae is so upset that she didn’t think of that move. Shanae spends her time glaring at Eliz and C flirting during the whole date. The group plays Never Have I Ever and then the girls have to complete an obstacle course. At one point Shanae shoves Eliz to the ground. Sarah wins the course.


Shanae decides Eliz doesn’t like her anymore so she tells Clayton that Eliz isn’t here for the right reasons. Shanae then tells the camera ” We’re in a competition and I want to win”. Nice. SO of course Clayton tells Eliz and then Eliz confronts Shanae. Shanea then tells all the girls that Eliz has ADHD. Again, how v nice of her, right? Sarah gets the Group Date rose.

Cocktail Party

Shanae & Eliz’s drama is STILL going on. UGH. Even Cassidy, who up to this point has been coaching Shanae in how to win, tells her to cut her losses. Cassidy has some drama of her own though because she apparently forgets she’s being filmed and tells another girl that she has a FWB at home!!! *Friend with benefits. AND this FWB just FaceTimed with Cass the day before filming. They spoke of plans for when she gets home. This info gets back to Clayton because OF COURSE IT DOES and Clayton goes to Jesse Palmer and asks “Has anyone ever taken back a rose??”. Meanwhile Cassidy is with the women saying “What’s he gonna do? I have a rose!” YIKES.

We have to wait 2 weeks to find out what happens BBs! Until then, xo 🌹

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Bachelor Season Premiere

BBs!!! It’s time for another season of the Bachelor! With the most boring Bachelor ever!!! But I’m a glutton for punishment, so here we are.

We have a new host- Jesse Palmer. UGH. I wanted Wells to be the new host, but you can’t always get what you want.

We start with a twist- a big one! One of the contestants, Salley, (that e is KILLING me) was formerly engaged and was supposed to be married yesterday!!! She’s debating leaving when she decides to go to Clayton’s room to meet him and talk. And they let her!!! This is unprecedented! So Salley tells C her story and that she may leave. C excuses himself for a moment and comes back with a rose!!! He offers her the rose, she says can I think on it, leaves the room for a while, comes back and TURNS HIM DOWN!!! Then she leaves the show. I have emotional whiplash from the whole thing!!!

Limo entrances

Note- we are back at the LA mansion. I wrote down all the ladies’ names, ages, and occupations but y’all don’t need all that. Lemme just skip to the good stuff.

Kate, 32, walks up to C and whips out 2 airplane bottles of booze FROM HER BRA!!! She then forces the poor man to do a shot from one and calls the bottles her nips!!!

Melina, 27, literally JUMPS on the man in moon shoes. Girl catches air!

Jill, 26, brings an urn and says they are “the ashes of my ex-boyfriends in case you make the same mistake.” Okayyyyy.

Ivana, 31, walks up completely silent and just mimes to him a bit then walks inside. Note- her occupation? Bar Mitzvah dancer.

Kira, 32, a physician, walks up in her doctor coat and red bra and underwear. That’s it!

Gabby, 30, brings a pillow with C’s face on it and literally says on national tv “I just want to sit on your face”. DYING.

Hunter, 28, from Charlotte! Brings a giant yellow snake wrapped around her neck. Y’all, that first night is a LONG one and you know that snake had to poop at some point!

I do have to say, there’s lots of diversity among the women and that’s progress, even if the ladies are acting like they haven’t seen a man in the flesh since March 2020.

Cocktail Party

Teddi (my favorite) gets the first kiss.

Claire talks with Clayton and they play cornhole. Then another lady walks up to steal him away. Afterwards, Claire goes around the house telling everyone that her time with him was awful and she can’t marry America’s sweetheart!!! Honey, America’s sweetheart is QUITE the stretch, but I get where you’re coming from. Another girl tells C about the bad mouthing and C sends Claire home.

Teddi gets the 1st impression rose! Yay!!!

Rose Ceremony

The sun is coming up!!! I told y’all it’s a long night!!! Serene gets the first rose. She is stunning. Going home: Ivana, Daria, Hailey, Jane, Lindsay D, Rianna, and Samantha.
Then ABC does the whole “this season on the Bachelor” thing and shows the entire show again! We KNOW what’s going to happen so why watch??? UGH ABC, you don’t get it!!!

And that’s it until next week BBs!!! xo🌹

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Bachelor Finale

Wow my BBs, we have a LOT to talk about! Namely, I just finished watching the finale and After the Final Rose and I have SOME THOUGHTS. Let’s dive in!

Matt’s mom Patty and brother John arrive to meet the girls and counsel Matt. I still stand by my initial assessment that Patty is really Celine Dion’s fraternal twin, but I digress. Michelle meets the fam first and it goes swimmingly. Everyone loves Michelle and why wouldn’t you? She’s poised, articulate, mature, and most importantly, willing to overlook Matt’s obsession with turtlenecks! Patty bursts into tears almost immediately!

Rachael meets the family next and Patty says “She’s….cute.” Yeah, it did not go as well as Michelle’s visit. When John asks Rach how many serious boyfriends she’s had she includes high school in her answer. RED FLAG! She’s far too young and immature for an engagement!!! Even though, when speaking to Patty, Rachael actually says “As I’ve gotten older…” what?!? You’re 24 years old missy!

Matt comes back to confer with his family and he’s giddy over his final two. Mom says “love is not the be all end all” and both Mom and John encourage Matt not to rush into anything. Clearly they have never seen this show either. The entire point is to rush a relationship straight into an engagement!!!

Next, Matt sits down with Chris Harrison and explains his fears and that he might not be ready and that his Mom really rocked him to his core and CH is all “Mom’s a bummer”. I paraphrase.

The next day is Matt’s final date with Michelle. They rappel down the side of a building then sit on a tarmac of some sort to chat. Odd. That night they are chatting in Michelle’s suite when Michelle says she has a gift for Matt. She says Matt’s her teammate and gives him a custom jersey with Mr. James on it. She has a matching one with Mrs. James. You can see the panic on his face as he’s holding up the jersey. Matt tells Michelle he has doubts and he can’t “get there” with her. Michelle cries and Matt leaves crying. You should be crying Matt! You’re an idiot!

Matt sits back down with CH and tells him he needs time.

The next day Matt is supposed to have a date with Rachael but sends CH to cancel it for him. Matt’s still saying he doesn’t know if he’s ready over and over yet he still sits down with Neil Lane and picks out an engagement ring!
The next day Matt sends Rach a note- Meet me by the lake for some answers. Matt finally forgoes the turtleneck and puts on a suit. He speaks with CH first and says he loves Rachael, but is love enough??

Matt goes to wait for Rach in a gazebo. Rachael arrives wearing a bedazzled green sequined dress. She walks up to Matt and gives a speech about how much she loves him. Matt says he can’t propose to her today because he wants it to last longer than his parents’ union and he’s just not ready. Then in the next breath he says he sees Rach as the mother of his children and his wife! I have questions!!! Matt says I don’t want to lose you so do you wanna date me? Again, I paraphrase. They kiss and ride off in a horse drawn carriage.

After the Final Rose

Now, we all know about the drama that’s surrounded Rachael since the show was airing. She attended and was photographed at an antebellum party and apparently also liked some racially insensitive and problematic photos on Instagram. CH came to her defense and made matters even worse during an interview with Rachel Lindsay. So, Emmanual Acho hosted ATFR tonight. His giant arms barely being contained by that suit jacket were a nice distraction. Ahem, anyway…

Michelle comes out looking fierce and says she never got closure because after the breakup she asked for a few minutes of Matt’s time and HE REFUSED!!!! How dare he???

Matt comes out on stage sporting that pandemic, I’m single beard. Michelle calls him out for not speaking to her after the breakup, kissing with his eyes open, and constantly saying “thank you for sharing that”. It is awesome to watch! Matt apologizes for not speaking with her when she asked.

Emmanual then speaks to Matt on his own. Emm (that’s a looonnng name to type over and over, forgive me) asks Matt about being the first black bachelor and if he felt pressure and Matt says he spent so much time during the show trying to appear non-threatening to appease people who may not be used to seeing people of color on their tv screen. That is just so sad to me that he felt like he couldn’t be his full, true self on the show because he’s black and (I assume) most of the Bachelor’s viewing audience is not.

Emm then asks about the Rachael controversy and we find out that Matt broke up with Rachael. But first he didn’t believe it when he heard it and stood by her. The breaking point came when Matt had to explain to Rachael why what she did was problematic. WOW. He shouldn’t have had to explain that to a 24 year old woman in 2021 who’s in love with a person of color.

Rachael then comes out to speak to Emm on her own first. Emm makes a great point about the antebellum party when he says history should be remembered, but not all of it should be celebrated. Truth. Rach admits to ignorance about the meaning and significance of the antebellum party and apologizes.

Matt then joins Rachael on the stage. Emm says what do you want to share with her and Matt is overcome with emotion and can barely say a thing. She tries to hold his hand but after a few moments he pulls away. Rach is crying and Matt says I don’t want to be emotionally responsible for those tears. Good for you Matt! He also says Rach has to put in the work to get better and that’s something she needs to do on her own and that’s why they can’t be together. Rach apologizes to Matt and Emm says something about do y’all want one last embrace? Matt stays completely still. I do not see a reconciliation in their future.

The next Bachelorette(s) are then announced and it’s Michelle and Katie! Yay!!! Two separate seasons, with Katie going first, filming right away and airing this summer.

So until then my BBs… xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 10

Week 10- Fantasy Suites BBs! This week always skeeves me out because, come on, there’s so much fluid swapping I can’t even handle it! And yet, I watch. I’m a sucker for punishment I guess!

Before we dive in to the dates, Matt’s dad arrives for a serious sit down convo. Except Dad thinks he’s there to celebrate his son’s success! Yikes. Apparently they haven’t seen each other in a while and it’s v awkward. Like, hard to watch awkward. Matt’s all “You cheated on my mom and weren’t there for me and it’s affected all my relationships” and Dad fires back with “No one’s perfect, we all make mistakes.” Poor Matt is showing more emotion than he has all season, he even cries. But Dad shuts down. Dad ends up apologizing though after a few minutes. They end up leaving it on good terms.

Later that day is Michelle’s date. Matt walks up wearing PAINTED on jeans. I swear I don’t see how that man bends his knees! The two of them head to the spa where they have a Pennsylvania Dutch spa day that includes an oatmeal foot soak, smearing butter all over each other, and a milk bath.

That night they meet back up and Matt is sporting yet ANOTHER turtleneck! How can one man own sooo many?!?! When they get to the Fantasy Suite, Michelle says I love you. The next morning Michelle says I love telling you that I love you. Matt responds with Thank you for sharing that with me. What a silver tongued devil! So romantic!!!

Michelle rejoins the other girls who are really struggling with the whole “our boyfriend is being intimate with ALL of us this week” thing!

Bri’s date is next. Like that day. I would have thought they’d haved spaced these dates out more but it doesn’t appear that they are! Bri starts out by walking 417 miles through the woods to get to Matt. Matt then says “Welcome to the outdoors!” and informs Bri they are going to be hiking and camping in tents. They hike for a while and actually pitch a tent! And it’s not the Cadillac of tents either. Looks like a Sears special! Poor Bri is so worried she’s going to have to sleep in that thing all night!

Luckily they meet up later for the night portion of their date. Matt tells Bri the same story about his dad that he told Michelle last night. Your guy is sticking to a script! Bri tells Matt she is in love with him and is ready for an engagement. BTW, Bri is looking amazing tonight! She’s my favorite of the final 3 if you couldn’t tell.

The next morning Bri and Matt cook breakfast then Bri returns to the group where Rachael is crying and just plain falling apart.

Rachael goes to get ready for her date that day and she’s still crying and pouting. She’s all in her head about him being intimate with these other women. It amazes me every season how people act surprised. Did you not watch the show before??? She takes her pouting self to meet up with Matt and continues to pout all through the day portion of their date, which is pottery throwing. Matt and Rachael barely get their hands dirty before Rach pulls Matt aside for a talk. She tells him again that she’s falling in love with him and Matt reciprocates, saying he’s falling in love with her too.

The night portion is uneventful except that Rach shows up wearing a tiny little red dress and Matt literally licks his lips. Get it together man!!! There are fireworks as they pounce on each other. There’s no morning after footage, which is odd.

Rose Ceremony

Michelle gets the first rose and OMG he’s sending Bri home!!! Nooooo!!! Bri is so smart and beautiful and you know what? She’s too good for a guy who kisses with his eyes open and only wears jeggings!!!

And that’s it until next week’s finale BBs! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 9

BBs! It’s Week 9- Women Tell All!!! One of my historically favorite episodes! Let’s get into it!

Victoria does not disappoint with her outrageous outfit choice. Tonight’s choice: a light blue sequined pantsuit, but instead of a shirt it’s a bra. Keeping it klassy and staying on brand!

So I see the ladies have not learned a thing from their time on the show. As soon as it’s possible they all dog pile on Katie again! Claiming that Katie made the house toxic by reporting the toxic situation to Matt. Ummmm WHAT?!?! Just proves mean girls hate a snitch worse than a mean girl bully!!!

They show some footage from parts of dates that didn’t air and it’s mostly fear factor stuff. Gorging on pancakes then beer, sticking their hands in boxes of bugs, etc. Nothing thrilling!

Brittany goes up to the hot seat and Chris Harrison brings up the high end escort rumor, of course. Poor Britt. That ruined her whole experience and practically her whole life! Anna apologizes but with a caveat- she still claims she heard Britt was an escort so like, sorry I said it, but I heard it! And Chicago is a small town! WHAT?!? NO it isn’t. Chicago has millions of people living there! What a lame apology. Brittany accepts Anna’s apology because she’s a better woman than I! I mean, Britt will have to deal with this the rest of her life! If you google her now it’s all over Google! Words Matter People!!!

Katie gets put in the hot seat and the pattern of let’s watch your time on the show, then your heartbreak, then you crying now, begins. Nothing exciting comes of this. I still feel sorry for Katie.

Abigail is up next and it’s the same as above. I love Abigail and am so glad she is getting so much support from the Deaf community! She’s too pure for this world!

Pieper follows Abigail and it’s lather, rinse, repeat. Pieper is looking so cute tonight!

Serena P is up next and it’s the same thing except Serena sent Matt on his own tearful limo ride!

Finally Matt comes out and he’s sporting a pandemic beard of huge proportions! It SCREAMS I’m single!!! Cause what woman would allow her man to run around on tv with that wooly booger beard?!?! They talk about how Matt kisses with his eyes open and show footage. I hope to never see that again! Close em Matt!!!

Bloopers are up next. I love a good blooper! And that’s it! All in all I found this episode rather boring and appalling. All the mean girls got away scott free without any consequences!!! Even VIctoria- the worst one- Matt said I know you have a good heart. COME ON!!! Why do we let people like that off the hook so easily?? Ok, end of rant. I’m curious to see who Matt picks! Until then my BBs!!! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 8

It’s Hometowns week BBs! I can’t wait to see what ABC cobbles together for this! It can’t be nearly as bad as what Tayshia & Co dealt with at La Quinta!

Michelle and Matt bike to an auditorium where her students are all on Zoom! It’s so cute! They ask a bunch of questions like “have you kissed” and “are you going to have babies?”. It’s v adorable! Matt’s pants are SO tight you can see his credit cards. It’s borderline profane! That night they meet up with Michelle’s parents and they are precious! Mom and Dad are super supportive and sweet and they must be protected at all costs.

Rachael takes Matt sky diving. How big is this Nemacolin property?!? Matt lands fine and then Rachael comes hurtling toward Earth at a frightening speed! She and her tandem instructor slam into the ground with Rachael hitting face first and her instructor landing on top of her! Matt runs over to her and your girl is picking grass out of her hair! She’s a little banged up, but ok overall. That night when Matt meets her parents and sister, Dad is v skeptical. They all are. But Rachael swears she loves Matt. In fact she really wants Matt to ask Dad for his blessing. That doesn’t happen.

Matt and Bri go off roading in a Jeep for the day portion of their date. That night, Matt meets Bri’s mom, BFF who’s also named Bri, and Bri’s tiny baby (like newborn) sister! Bri’s mom is so young and gorgeous! Mom’s already preparing for heartbreak though! Bri tells Matt she’s falling in love with him.

Serena P
For the day portion of their date Serena teaches Matt all about Canada and makes him eat cold, congealed poutine. They play ice hockey. Later, Matt meets Serena’s mom, dad, and sister. Serena has big, big doubts about Matt and her family spots these doubts right away.
The next day Matt talks to Chris Harrison, who tells Matt he needs to sort things out with Serena. So Matt goes to Serena’s room to talk. Serena tells Matt he is not her person and goes home. Matt actually seems pretty broken up about this. The most emotion I’ve seen him show since Tyler came to visit!

Rose Ceremony
Since Serena left, no one else is eliminated. Michelle gets the first rose and Bri gets the last (which worries her).
Next week is Women Tell All and with how nasty all the ladies have been this season, it’s sure to be packed full of drama!!!Until then BBs! xo🌹

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Bachelor Week 7

Welcome to week 7 of the train wreck that is The Bachelor!!! Let me start by saying I’m not going to address the racist mess that’s going on with Bachelor Nation here. You can read all about it if you Google anything to do with the Bachelor. Now, on with the show!

This week picks up with Heather’s entrance. She talks with Matt then joins the other girls. The other girls POUNCE on her!!! Guess they forgot all the “bullying” they were preaching about last week!!! Heather eventually starts crying and walks away. Meanwhile, Matt is outside thinking and speaking with Chris Harrison. Matt goes back in to talk to Heather and tells her she can’t stay and walks her out to her minivan. Heather is crying real tears over this and I’m like girl you spent all of 20 minutes with the dude. You’ll be fine!

Matt walks back in and apologizes to the women and commends them on their behavior! WHAT??? Clearly he has no knowledge of the brutal verbal lashing these women gave Heather a mere 10 minutes ago!!! Talk about toxic!!!

Rose Ceremony

Going home, Chelsea (😭) and Serena C (YAY!!!). Finally the last of the mean girls is gone!!!

The next day the girls are all waiting to see who gets the first 1-1. At this point Jessenia and Abigail STILL haven’t had 1-1s. I don’t think Jessenia has much of a connection with Matt but Abigail got the first impression rose!

Serena P gets ANOTHER 1-1!!!! They go to do tantric yoga. Good gravy this is uncomfortable to watch! First you have this giant man Matt in cropped leggings and then you have self proclaimed hater of PDA, Serena, being forced to rub all over Matt. Cringe. Serena is NOT into it. Also, she mentions she is not quick to love. Then WHY are you on a show where speed is a requirement???

At Fake Dinner, Matt says he loves how honest Serena is about hating the date, then gives her the rose. So Serena is definitely going to hometowns.

Group Date

Ok, this is weird. There’s no actual activity. They just all sit around taking turns talking to Matt. Boring. BUT we learn that Bri quit her dream job to be there with Matt. BOY, you better marry this girl!!! It’s a pandemic! Jobs are hard to come by to say the least!

When it’s Abigail’s turn to chat, Matt tells her he was so comfortable in their relationship that he explored other relationships. WHAT???? Men are straight trash. So he lets her go and walks her out. Abigail, you are too pure for this world and you deserved better!!!

Rachel gets the group date rose and Matt walks her out of the room and to one of those Bachelor special private concerts where they make out in front of a musician.

After the group date is over, Kit goes to Matt’s villa and tells him she doesn’t know if he’s the one and since hometowns are next week, she should know by now. So she goes home. Good on you Kit! You are too young to be on this show and getting married anyway!!!

Jessenia’s 1-1

Ok, so it’s the week before hometowns. This is your last chance before meeting the fam that you have to get to know this woman. So naturally you spend the afternoon drifting around a race track/parking lot in a muscle car. Loads of opportunities for deep conversation there!

Later at Fake Dinner, Jessenia tells Matt she’s falling in love with him. Matt picks up the rose and dangles it in front of her like a carrot and tells her he can’t give her the rose. SAVAGE.

Rose Ceremony

Going home: PIEPer. OMG! I’m shocked! PIEper is so angry she doesn’t say a word as he walks her out.

Can’t wait to see how ABC cobbles together hometowns next week. At least they aren’t all at the La Quinta!!!
Until then my BBs! xo🌹

pop culture, tv

The Bachelor Week 6

Here we are at week 6 my BBs and what have we learned?? Matt, our bachelor, has the personality of a tortilla. And the girls who are vying for his attention are MEAN!!!

We pick up at the 2-1 with Jessenia (who I honestly don’t even remember being on this show) and mean girl MJ. Matt arrives and speaks with Jessenia first then MJ. MJ to Matt- My heart is so big. Peace and harmony!!! Jessenia to MJ- Listen MEREDITH. OOOOOH Jess brought out the proper first name!!! Matt sends MJ home with a sigh. I have the subtitles on for this show and it says “SIGH” under Matt a LOT. 😂

After the emotionally draining task of sending MJ home, Matt cancels the cocktail party and you’d think he’d killed a puppy with the way the girls are moaning and griping!!! Get it together!!! They skip right to the Rose Ceremony. Going home: Ryan (who’s sobbing is starting to make me feel uncomfortable- you’ve only been there like 2 weeks), Magi, and Brittany.

The next day Serena C decides she wants to argue with Katie about her “antics” stealing time from Serena and Matt. All because Katie brought up the toxicity in the house to Matt. Me thinks she protests too much Serena C! Sounds like you’re one of the mean girls Serena!! Serena and Katie scream at each other for a while and get no where.

Meanwhile, Miss Never Been Kissed Heather Martin from Colton’s season arrives. WHAT?!? She’s hell bent on meeting Matt because Hannah Brown told her they’d be a good match. Do people just not follow the rules anymore??? It’s a flipping free for all this season!!! Chris Harrison lets her come in and test and quarantine. I give up!

Pieper’s (no offense PIEper but I’m mad at your mom for that unnecessary E in your name) 1-1

Matt drives PIE out to the woods and makes her walk in the dark for a while until they come to a big switch. PIE flips the switch and a carnival lights up! Complete with rides and all! V cute.

At Fake Dinner PIE reveals that her parents don’t say I love you and that’s been hard. She then tells Matt she’s falling in love with him and he gives her the rose. They then go to one of those private concerts and slow dance and make out in front of a singing trio who’s desperately trying not to look at Matt and PIE. It’s just awkward.

Group Date

Bowling! I mean. This place has it over the La Quinta when it comes to activities! No interns scrambling to come up with another way to use the meeting room here! CH comes in and tells the girls it’s a competition, of course. The winners get an after party. The pink team wins and the blue team heads back to the house.

After Party

Matt feels bad and invites the blue team to the after party. The Pink team is not happy. Michelle gets the rose.

The next day Matt plays a little pool with Tyler and gets a pep talk from him. Which is weird because Tyler didn’t end up with his bachelorette. Again, no rules apply this season!

Katie’s 1-1

Katie and Matt (who’s in yet ANOTHER turtleneck!!! What’s he hiding under all that fabric?? Has no one told him about a crew neck? Hell, I’d even take a v neck at this point!) meet up at the spa. I’m thinking oooh a nice romantic couples massage! But no, Tyler is getting the massage and Katie and Matt are telling Ty’s masseuse what to do to prank Ty. It’s kinda funny but puts Katie smack dab in the middle of the friend zone if you ask me.

Fake Dinner

Katie arrives wearing a PUFFER coat on top of a banker’s ensemble. Katie, sweetie, can you TRY to look like you want him to be your boyfriend and not your business partner in an Amway scheme? Oy. So Katie’s talking about her love story and how she wants it to be his love story and Matt’s just sitting there all stone faced. Sure enough he sends her home. Womp womp.

Cocktail Party

It’s the next night and Matt’s chatting up some of the women when Heather pulls up in her minivan dressed for her own premature wedding. She walks in, smiles at the gathered women, and bee lines it to Matt. She interrupts Matt and PIE (who leaves in stunned silence). Matt and Heather hug and is it just me or is Matt extra handsy for a guy who’s JUST now meeting this girl??

PIE walks back out to the group and she is PISSED. All the girls are SHOOKETH!!!

And that’s it for this week my BBs! Until next week! xo 🌹

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Bachelor Week 5

Welcome, my BBs, to Week 5 of the Bachelor where we explore the lengths 20 millennial women will go to to earn the affections of a guy who kisses with his eyes open!!!

We jump in at the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party. If you remember, last week Katie told Matt about the toxicity in the house and how horrible, life ruining rumors were being spread. So Matt addresses the group and tells them he knows what’s going on in the house and it has to stop. He pulls Brittany aside to chat first and learns that Anna has been telling people Brittany is a sex worker. Next Matt chats with Anna and sends her home! Yay! Well, would you look at that, it’s the consequences of my actions!!! I love to see it!!!

Meanwhile, back in the group, the OG girls are falling all over themselves apologizing to the new girls.
Victoria is wearing yet another odd dress. Her boobs are smashed into this loooooow cut bronze dress that has 2 HIGH slits and she basically looks naked. Vic pulls Matt to talk. During their chat Matt lets it slip that it was Katie who came to him last night. Matt leaves Vic sitting there.

Chris Harrison comes in and announces the cocktail party is over.

Rose Ceremony

Brittany and Ryan get the first 2 roses and that sends a message to the OG girls that Matt likes the new ladies. Serena C gets the final rose. Going home: Mari, Lauren, Miss Puerto Rico, and ……VICTORIA!!! Girl, you lost your king! Victoria does not go quietly into that good night either. She hides behind the other girls until the end and then yells at Matt that she feels sorry for him. She walks out with no hug. In her exit interview she goes on and on about how she will be missed and how she brings so much joy to the house. Um, ok.

Rachael’s 1-1

Rachael gets the coveted shopping spree 1-1!!!! Matt is wearing another turtleneck. Rachael ends up with bags upon bags of fancy dresses AND a pair of red bottoms! Yep, your girl has a pair of Louboutins!!! When she returns to the group an evening gown gets delivered to her. Ooh la la sassoon!!!

Fake Dinner

Rachael says she’s falling in love with Matt and Matt says the same. Rachael is looking gorgeous in her new dress! She’s one of my favorites so I’m glad she got this date. She gets the rose.

Group Date

Matt, wearing yet ANOTHER turtleneck, takes the ladies down to a farm to do random and various farm chores and challenges. Not much happens except a lot of the girls are starting to have issues with him dating other women. I mean, you’ve seen the show, right??

After Party

Things are going per usual until Matt tells MJ that her name was brought up in the toxic house talks. MJ assures Matt that she’s all peace and harmony. MJ goes back to the group and immediately confronts the other girls. Jessenia says it was she who named MJ. MJ turns mean. Like watch your back, girl’s got a shiv, mean. States she’s owed an apology. I love how all these girls are doing all this petty stuff and saying terrible things but when they get called out the focus immediately shifts to “Who told?” Not the point ladies!!!! Abigail gets the group rose.

Kit’s 1-1

Kit goes to Matt’s villa and they bake cookies. She complains about how her life has been all red carpets and gold Bentleys and she just wants the little things. Turns out Kit’s mom is designer Cynthia Rowley!!! And Kit is only 21!!! WOW do I feel old now!!! Kit gets the rose.

The next day all the girls are gathered and a note is delivered from Matt. “MJ & Jessenia, I need to know the truth”. So now MJ and Jessenia are going to have a mini 2-1 before the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party. Little Miss Peace and Harmony (with her killer hair) says “Y’all wanna see me fight? Get your popcorn!” YIKES. Girl will CUT you!!!

And that’s it for this week! Next week Tyler comes to visit! Until then, my Bbs! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 4

Week 4 picks up dealing with the aftermath of Sarah’s departure. The remaining girls, and especially Vic are trash talking Sarah. Katie steps in and tells Vic to stop the bad mouthing and Vic straight up says No I will do whatever the fork I want. UGH. I loathe Victoria. She’s clearly only here for drama and the producers are keeping her around. Vomit.

So we have to finish up a group date. Chelsea (who I really like) is trying to talk about her hair and the impact it has in a white world, but all Matt’s trying to do is make out. At least he has the decency to give Chelsea the group date rose.

Rose Ceremony and Cocktail Party

Vic shows up to the cocktail party looking like a drunk raccoon again. But this time she’s sporting a (hopefully faux) GIANT fur coat. I mean, I get it’s chilly up there in PA but you’re indoors! Vic is talking to Matt when Chris Harrison interrupts them (HA!!!) and takes Matt to the front of the resort at the end of the red carpet. All the girls notice this and are speculating that Sarah’s back. But no! It’s 5 new women! WHY??? Why add 5 new women to the pot when there are still 18 left and NO ONE is getting time with Matt because of drama?!?

The new ladies are:

Brittany, 23, model. The moment she walks up to Matt she shoves her tongue down his throat!!!

Michelle, 27, teacher.

Ryan, 26, Dancer/Choreographer.

Kim, 28, ICU nurse.

Catalina, 29, Former Miss Puerto Rico.

Of course the OG women are PISSED at this new development! Like, FUMING. Catalina walks into the room where all the women are and Vic straight up snatches Catalina’s crown right off her head! RUDE. BTW, why does Anna always look like she’s smelling rotted squirrel??

Rose Ceremony

Vic gets a rose and it’s not even the last one! Matt always looks so pained when he has to give Vic a rose! Going home are Khaylah (boooo- love her!!!), Kaili, and new girl Kim.

The next day Ben Higgins arrives to give Matt advice. WHY??? Ben is not a success story on the Bachelor! I mean, he’s engaged now but he slid into his fiancee’s DMs. Whatever.

Group Date

The girls will have to go through an Autumn themed obstacle course complete with rowing across a lake in a giant pumpkin, donning a squirrel suit to hunt for “acorns” in a leaf pile, and a foot race. Poor Magi gets stuck in out on the lake until the whole thing is over. Mari wins and she’s supposed to get a great prize but I never see what that is!

After Party

Anna and Matt are talking for literally 3 minutes when Brittany interrupts. This does not sit well with Anna. Nothing else of note happens during the after party, and Bri gets the rose. After Matt leaves Anna decides to ask Brittany in front of the group, and all of America, if Brittany is an escort!!! Anna swears people in Chicago told her to watch out for Brittany and that Britt entertains men for money. This rumor doesn’t appear to hold any water and Britt denies it right away.

Michelle’s 1-1

Michelle and Matt are tasked to complete an extreme scavenger hunt where they zip line and ride in a tethered hot air balloon. The most fun part of this date is watching the balloon operator (I’m guessing) scrunch himself down in the basket so as to not be in the make out shot!!!

Fake Dinner

Michelle quotes Maya Angelou and Matt picks up on it right away. Good thing because it seemed like Michelle was going to try and claim that quote as her own. She gets the rose.

Group Date

CH & Wells (!!! LOVE HIM) are there and they announce they will be overseeing a boxing match between the girls on the group date while the other girls of the house watch in a mix of horror and delight. The women go THUNDER DOME on each other!!! There’s more bloodlust in this boxing ring than in an MMA cage on a Saturday night! Matt finally stops the beatings and they all move on to the after party.

After Party

Our boy Matt LOVES to rock a mock. Turtleneck, that is! All the OG girls are being so mean to the new girls and Katie is trying to stand up for the newbies but the OGs are NOT having it. So Katie tells Matt about the bullying and name calling. She is v mature about it and doesn’t name names, just tells him to address it.

And that’s it my BBs!!! Until next week!!! 🌹 xo