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Bachelor Season Premiere!

Shannon

BBs!!! It’s that time again! The Bachelor with Zach has premiered and I. Have. Thoughts!!! So settle in and let’s get to it! First of all, Zach is so boring. He’s the human equivalent of beige paint. I just can’t with him. BUT his girls, based on this episode, are promising some drama!

Before we can get to meet all of Z’s ladies, Sean Lowe comes to give advice. GROAN. Now, I love Sean. He’s a delight. But he doesn’t know Zach from Adam and WHY is it always Sean?? Are there no other Bachelor men who have had their Bachelor relationship succeed?? Sigh.

Anyway, time for the Limo Entrances! We have 30 women to meet! Some standouts:

Greer talks about herself in the 3rd person and that grates my nerves to NO END.

Brooklyn is a rodeo racer!

Jess is only 23! Has she seen the show? Is she ready to marry this man?? I mean, I know Z is 26 but those 3 years are crucial!

Cat’s extensions are showing.

Genevie is STUNNING and poised. My favorite so far.

Mercedes brought a pig! LOVE!!!

Christina’s mom is a Mandrell sister! I looooved the Mandrells when I was a kid!

Two of the ladies are in the same dress (one pink, one purple).

Christina and Z are on a party bus hanging out when a bunch of the girls, led by Madison, crash their private bus party. Right after Christina and Z had their first kiss.

Speaking of kissing- these ladies got a good smooch: Kaity, Charity, Greer, and Jess (hope her mom’s not watching!).

One girl and Z have a “how many meatballs can you fit in your mouth at once” and while it’s kinda funny, it’s v gross and soooo not sexy!!!

SO. MANY. LIKES. It’s as if “like” is the only word these girls know! It makes them all look so dumb when you know they aren’t!!! Also, there are a million nurses on this show! Which tells me they are smart. So why speak in such a way that makes you look stupid???

Madison steals Z for a second hang out session, much to the chagrin of the other girls. Then she totally forces a kiss on him and he is not feeling it. Neither am I Z. Bless, she’s just coming off as desperate. She picks up on the fact that he’s not into her and spends the rest of the night crying.

Greer gets the First Impression Rose. Not to be confused with America’s First Impression Rose that Brianna won on After the Final Rose.

Later in the night Jesse and Z are chatting when Madison interrupts. She basically asks Z if he likes her and he v politely lets her down easy and sends her home. Then we have to watch for a PAINFULLY long time as Madison walks down the long driveway to the van that’s waiting to take her home. Her heels are clicking and she’s crying the whole way. BLESS.

CSP watched this with me and noted that all the girls look the same. With some exceptions, he’s right! SO many have the same hair it could be a wig they pass around! Long layers with extensions and a middle part. No wonder it’s hard to tell them apart and remember their names!!!

Rose Ceremony

Christina gets the first rose and I realize I’m just not a fan. Cat get’s the final rose of the night and I’m really not a fan of her. Nine ladies go home: Holland, Sonia, Cara, Lekha, Olivia (who?), Olivia M, Becca, Vanessa, and Viktoria.

And that’s it for night one my BBs! Stick with me this season and we just might make it through! My favorite lady remains Genevie. Who’s your stand out at this point??

Until next week!

xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Season Finale

Shannon

I know it’s late BBs, but I couldn’t go to bed tonight without recapping the season finale!!! We’re still in Iceland where Susie comes to talk to Clayton and meet his parents. Susie and Clayton go outside to talk. C- I didn’t mean the things I said. I want you back. Give me a 2nd chance. S- I don’t know if I’m in a place where I can do that right now.

The next day Clayton goes to see Gabby and Rachel. The man proceeds to break up with both of them at the same time!!! Could he be a bigger A hole??? Gabby walks out and Clay follows her. They argue and Gabby totally puts Clayton in his place. Clayton- Can I walk you out? Gabby- NO. When I tell you I whooped and clapped at this moment!!! It was glorious!!!

In LA- Gabby is in the hot seat and her Grandpa Joe is in the audience. LOVE him!!! Gabby confronts Clayton and totally calls him out. It’s amazing. She is so collected and poised!! She’s my hero!!! G- When you say you love someone you assume responsibility to protect them and not hurt them and you didn’t do any of those things! PREACH!!!

BTW, Clayton’s underbite is KILLING me!!!

Iceland- Clayton goes to talk to Rachel. Poor girl is crying and shaking like a leaf! Even as he’s walking her out to the waiting SUV, Rachel still doesn’t want to accept her fate. “I never stopped fighting for you!” Come on Rach, he’s so not worth it!!!

LA- Rachel is in the hot seat now, and she’s still crying. “I became collateral damage.” Clayton- I’m sorry. Rachel- I don’t believe you. Did you tell me you loved me just so you could sleep with me? WAY TO GO!!! And that, BBs, is how you get your dignity back!!!

Iceland- Clayton manages to get Susie to meet him in some little cabin so he can declare his love. He’s waving a ring box around like a threat. It’s such an odd, aggressive vibe. C- I love you blah blah blah. S- I don’t think you’re my person. I’m leaving Iceland alone. It’s over. Me- THANK GOODNESS!!!

LA- Note Aaron and Genevieve sitting together in the audience!!!

Clayton is on stage. Susie comes out. Apparently she reached out to him and now they are together and in love. Or he’s holding her hostage- you be the judge!

The next Bachelorettes are Gabby and Rachel!!! This will be interesting!!! It’s the LEAST ABC can do for those poor girls after what they went through in Iceland!!!

Until then BBs…. xo🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 10

Shannon

WOWOWOWOWOW. BBs, this has gotten wild! Ok, so we start out with Clayton talking to Jesse about how he doesn’t have any trust anymore since Susie left him. UGH. I am SO OVER this man. Even though Susie left, there still has to be a rose ceremony.

Rose Ceremony

Gabby and Rachel notice right away that Susie is absent. Clayton tells G & R that he’s in love with both of them and Susie and that he was intimate with both G & R. Not surprisingly, both ladies are devastated and walk away in tears to gather themselves. While Jesse is talking with Clayton, all you can hear are Rachel’s gut wrenching sobs echoing throughout the building. I hope Clayton feels those sobs down in his black soul. Clay tells Jesse he wants to continue with both of them. Of course he does! Clayton is the epitome of having his cake and wanting to have sex with it too!!!

Gabby asks for an explanation of Susie’s absence and while telling her the story Clayton says now it’s all about who I love the most. Nice.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, both women appear for the rose ceremony. Rachel gets the first rose and accepts it. Gabby, however, does not accept!!! Yay Gabs!!!! The look on Rachel’s face is priceless! She’s like “We can say no? We aren’t being held hostage??” (I paraphrase).

While walking Gabby out, Clayton is begging her the whole time to stay. Gabby has a great line- “Love shouldn’t be measured”. The whole time Clay is all I know I know but what we have is special. Is it though??? He somehow talks her into staying and she accepts her rose with a reluctant “yeah”.

The next day it’s time to meet Clayton’s family. Mom, Dad and 2 brothers make the trip. Gabby is up first, then Rachel. Before Gabby arrives, Clayton explains the whole sh!t show to his parents. Dad says “You really screwed the pooch”. He sure did! And Gabby and Rachel too!!! His mother looks absolutely horrified and his dad looks downright embarrassed. The family dotes on the ladies and seems to love them both.

Once Rachel leaves, Clayton sits back down with his fam and discusses the women. But then he says his heart is still with Susie. Poor Mom is gobsmacked!!! It’s just a mess. Jesse appears and says Susie is still in Iceland.

We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out who Clayton ends up with! Not that he deserves ANY woman at this point!! Until then BBs… xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 9- Fantasy Suites

Shannon

WOW. Just wow. Where to begin BBs??? SO much to unpack. Let’s start with the first Fantasy Suite date. This week we are in Iceland. Iceland is stunningly beautiful and there are puffins! There are also 3 women who are all in love with the same dude and they are forced to share a hotel room. Nothing makes conversation more awkward than knowing your roommate is getting ready to go have sex with the guy you had sex with last night! GROSS.

Rachel

Rachel’s date is first and they go on a helicopter ride then take a rickety elevator down an inactive volcano. That would be a HARD NOPE for me! I’ve seen this movie and the blonde doesn’t make it out! That night at Fake Dinner, Clayton tells Rachel he’s falling in love with her. She visibly melts in front of him. The next morning as Rachel stands on the balcony wrapped in a robe and sporting major bed head, Clay yells from the street to her that he loves her.

Gabby

Gabby and Clayton go riding in a dune buggy on the black sand beaches. That night at Fake Dinner, Clayton tells Gabby he’s falling in love with her. She visibly melts in front of him. Skkkkkrrrrreeeech WHAT?!? Yep, it’s like I’m having MAJOR deja vu but no, he gives practically the same speech to both women. Then he has sex with them. My skin is crawling. The next morning as he’s leaving Gabby he yells (again with the public yelling) that he’s falling in love. Does he not know that these women and their families will be watching this show??? How special they must feel!!!

Susie

Lastly we have Susie’s date. All week she’s been watching the girls return from their overnight dates. She’s not dumb. She knows what’s going on. But she musters up a smile and she and Clay go to a hot spring. That night at Fake Dinner, Clayton tells Susie he’s falling in love with her. But instead of melting, Susie asks Clayton if he’s had sex with another woman here and is he in love with anyone else. He hems and haws but eventually arrives at yes and yes. But it’s ok Susie because “I’m the MOST in love with you”. VOMIT. Susie says she doesn’t think she can get past it. Sex is v important to her and she doesn’t want to be sloppy thirds or share in his “love” with other women. Who could blame her??? Ooh ooh, I know who! CLAYTON! He literally tells Susie that SHE is the one who let us get to this point. That SHE should have said something earlier. The audacity of it all!!!

They both walk away from the table for a moment. Jesse comes to talk to Clayton while Susie is crying while talking to producers. Susie comes out to talk to C some more and he yells at her. YELLS at her. “What am I supposed to do? You invalidated everything we have. I don’t know who you are anymore. This is BS. I’m walking you out.” OMG. HE is the one who couldn’t keep it in his pants. She doesn’t owe him squat!!! Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, all season Clayton has shown as much personality as a crouton, until tonight. Now we know. Now we know who he really is.

Poor Susie. Next week Clayton has to face the firing squad and yay for that. It looks wild. Ugh, I’m still seething!!! Until then BBs. xo🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 9

Shannon

BBs- it’s that time again…the Women Tell All! This used to be a wild episode until a few seasons ago when it got all tame and lame. Until tonight!!!

First of all, there is just So. Much. Yelling. EVERYONE is pissed! At Shanae! At Clayton! At Shanae some more!!! Shanae is in the hot seat and it seems like the women are getting more and more angry that they can’t drive Shanae to tears. It’s like an angry mob but instead of torches and pitchforks they throw out barbs like “There isn’t FaceTune in Paradise Shanae!”. Bahahahaha!!! With each insult hurled, Shanae just shrugs and half smiles into the camera, seemingly unbothered by it all. And she is NOT sorry for anything she has done. Genevieve joins her in the hot seat and they are supposed to discuss their 2-1 date but before anyone can say anything, Shanae accuses Gene of going home and having sex with Aaron from Katie’s season! WHUT?!?!? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Gene is a grown woman and doesn’t owe Clayton a thing. But wow Shanae!

Sarah is in the hot seat next and doubles down saying that Clayton did indeed cry on their date. Sarah herself is trying to cry again, but remember, she’s all out of tears.

Teddi is up next. She seems emotionally wrought by the whole process, I mean, journey of it all. AND she tells us that none other than Clayton’s own BROTHER slid into her DMs!!! His brother y’all!!! SO gross!!!

When it’s Serene’s turn on stage she stays true to her name- calm and poised.

Finally Clayton comes out and the pitchforks are ready again! He declares that he regrets nothing- a bold statement considering the whole Shanae mess!!! Sierra puts him on blast- why did you believe Shanae over ALL of us??? He doesn’t have a good answer except they had a strong connection. Sarah even accuses Clayton of stirring the pot. But that’s rich coming from her. Clayton says again that he never cried with Sarah and Sarah tries to deflect, but it’s v clear she lied.

And after some bloopers…that’s all BBs! Until tomorrow when we have Fantasy Suites!!! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 8

Shannon

BBs!!! It’s time for Hometowns! One of my favorite episodes because we get to see the crazy families and watch level headed parents try to talk sense into their children! Let’s dive in!

FINALLY we get to travel for hometowns again! First up is Susie in Virginia. For their day date, Susie says she wants to see if Clayton likes to be choked! Ma’am, this is a family show! But she only means that she’s going to put Clayton through some Jiu Jitsu moves. Whew. I do NOT need to see Clayton in a bedroom! That night Clayton meets the fam and it is …..boring! Everyone loves him! The man is as exciting as uncooked pasta but ok!

Next up is Gabby in Denver, Colorado. Clayton says Everyone knows Gabby is the funniest girl in the world and, well, I’m just not seeing it. She does seem fun, but she’s no laugh riot IMO. Now, Gabby’s Grandpa?? That man is hilarious! When Grandpa meets Clayton and Gabby asks what he thinks, Gpa says I think he’s full of s#!t! Bahahaha!!! Gabby’s dad couldn’t be there because of Covid but right at the end of the night a car honks and Gabby goes outside. It’s her dad holding up big signs a la Love, Actually. His signs tell her he’s so proud and he loves her and I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying!

Serene is next in Oklahoma City, OK. For their day date, Serene takes Clay to this sky high obstacle course where she laughs at his fear the whole day. I just don’t see any chemistry with these two. Which tells you a LOT about Clayton because Serene is stunning. And so is her mom. And her brother. Dang, her whole ding dang family is hot!!! Hot Bro cries when he’s chatting with Serene and it makes me love him more- so sweet!!!

Lastly, we visit Rachel in Clermont, FL. They go kayaking in a swamp in gator country and see a spider the size of a baseball. NO JOKE. Nightmare fuel!!! They swim and make out in said swamp and I don’t know how they can concentrate with such creatures about. Rachel warns Clayton that her dad is super tough and FINALLY we’re going to get some drama but NO! Dad is just fine!!! Even gives Clay a hearty handshake and pat on the arm to signal his blessing!!! Come on!

Rose Ceremony

Serene goes home. You’re better off sweetie. Trust.

Next week is 2 nights of Bachelor fun including Women Tell All! Can’t wait! Until then! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 7

Shannon

BBs it is week 7 of Clayton’s journey to find love, or at least a girlfriend for 6 months.

Sarah is back from her 2nd 1-1 and is on a mission to find out who ratted her out to Clayton about her not being ready for marriage. Sarah confronts the group and Mara fesses up. The next night at the pre- Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party, Mara pulls Sarah aside so they can fuss at each other some more. The other girls trying to listen in is the funniest part.

Rose Ceremony: Going home- Mara (shocker! I told you!) and cutie Eliza. We hardly knew ye, Eliza.

This episode feels like I’m watching it on hyper speed because next thing you know we are in Vienna, Austria. So beautiful!

Susie’s 1-1

Susie gets the Cinderella shopping trip date that they do on every season of the Bachelor. They go to these posh boutiques and Susie gets to pick out all kinds of fancy clothes and she acts like it was Clayton’s idea and he’s footing the bill! Susie and Clayton wind up at a designer’s private gallery and Susie tries on all sorts of haute couture gowns. Oh, and she gets some Christian Louboutins!!! Shoot, I’d make out with ol’ Clay for some red bottoms! Susie changes into a haute couture gown for Fake Dinner and gets the rose.

Group Date

The theme of today’s group date is couples’ therapy! Bizarre, as each of the couples are BARELY couples. So each lady has to sit down with Clayton and a psychoanalyst. Poor Genevieve looks like a deer in headlights during her session. She can barely open her mouth she’s so nervous. And instead of offering support or encouragement, Clay’s all “you gotta open up to me or we can’t work”. DUDE, she’s spent a total of 30 minutes with you! I can’t even tell you his birthday and I’ve been watching all season!!! He tells Genevieve they’ve run out of time and sends her home. Trust me when I tell you that you’ve dodged a bullet there Gene! Meanwhile, Sarah is SUPER cocky and sucks up to the psychoanalyst who sees right through her and declares to Clayton and the ladies at the end that one woman was “performative”. 3 guesses who!

After Party

Rachel tells Clayton that Sarah told the group he cried on his 1-1 with Sarah. Gabby and Teddi confirm this information and big boy C is NOT having it! How dare Sarah imply that Clay showed weakness or feelings or emotion?!?! Sarah, of course, denies all this to Clayton but he says I don’t believe you. He tells her he thinks she’s fake crying and Sarah says “I’ve run out of tears” (!!!) chef’s kiss!!! This is the kind of petty I want to see!!! Clayton sends Sarah home and does not give out the Group Date rose.

Serene 1-1

Serene’s 1-1 goes by so fast all I can tell you about it is that they toured the city, had Fake Dinner at a palace and she got the rose! Seriously, I know their date lasted all day but on tv it lasted one hot minute!

Rose Ceremony

Teddi goes home. Noooooo!!! I really liked Teddi!!! I was rooting for you girl!!!

Next up is Hometowns! One of my favorite episodes! Until then, xo. 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 6

Shannon

Week 6 BBs picks back up with the 2-1 with Shanae and Genevieve at Niagra Falls. This really isn’t a date at all but just 2 separate conversations, then a decision. Shanae tells Clayton that Genevieve is an actress who said she wanted to go home! This, of course, couldn’t be farther from the truth. But Shanae turns on the tears and she and Clay make out. Meanwhile, back at the hotel, the other girls are all on suitcase watch, waiting to find out which suitcase will be taken away- signifying who is going home. Genevieve cries when she’s with Clayton too. Then Clay sits both ladies down and asks Genevieve RIGHT IN FRONT OF Shanae (!!!) if Genevieve is an actress and wants to go home! I swear, he’s dumb as a box of hair! Genevieve is shook and denies it and Clay decides he needs to step away and think. He takes a few moments to himself then comes back to the ladies and gives…..Genevieve the rose! Genevieve looks visibly shocked! I am visibly shocked! Shanae is visibly shocked! Then, in classic 2-1 fashion, Clay and Genevieve leave Shanae there alone on the bench while they go off to makeout by the falls. Now, I have to give Genevieve some props because if some dude accused me of being an actress then tried to stick his big, meaty tongue down my throat—I would NOT be in the mood! Back at the hotel, the PA comes and gets Shanae’s suitcase and the other girls all cheer and scream. One even yells “Ding dong the shrimp is dead!” Bahahahaha!!!!

Cocktail Party

Mara is dressed in a knock off Olympic figure skater’s dress tonight and I can’t take my eyes off the gross skin colored mesh! Bleh! Mara gets literally like 2 minutes with Clayton before Serene interrupts, and this sends her off in frustrated tears.

Rose Ceremony

Going home: Hunter and Marlena

After the rose ceremony Clayton tells the women they are all taking off to Hvar, Croatia and they all scream but you can see on their faces they are trying to figure out what Hvar is! Bless!

Teddi gets the first 1-1 in Hvar and yay! It’s about time! Mara, is NOT nearly as thrilled as I am for old Teds though. Teddi and Clay walk around the town in the rain.

Fake Dinner

Teddi tells Clayton that not only has she never been in love, but that she’s a virgin. Clay’s face instantly goes beet red and he’s stuttering and sputtering! Get yourself together man! She’s a virgin, not an alien! Teddi gets the rose.

Group Date

The ladies have to dress up as Croatian knights and go through a series of quests. There’s push her out of the circle feat of strength, then the eating of liver and fish eyes, then the knight’s creed where the ladies have to tell Clayton how they feel about him. Serene wins the knight challenge.

Night

Clayton shows up to the after party in a zip up shirt under his sport jacket. His stylist is making some really questionable choices.

Mara sits Clay down and unloads on him. WHOA. She basically says that he’s acting like he wants a wife and maturity but he’s choosing all these young girls. Specifically Sarah. Then Mara tells Clay that Sarah said she’s not ready to be engaged. Not true. ****NEW VILLAIN ALERT**** Girl, have you NOT seen the show??? The women who talk smack about the other girls do not make it to the end! Shanae had a 6 week run, something I’ve never seen before, but that girl was GOOD at being bad!!! Sure enough, Rachel gets the rose.

Later that night, Clayton gets a note under his door. Meet me at the clock tower. He goes and Susie is waiting for him. They climb the tower and chat and she tells him she’s falling in love with him.

Sarah’s 2nd 1-1

This is a pitiful date. There’s no activity. No real dinner. Just Clayton confronting Sarah at Fake Dinner about whether or not she’s ready for marriage at 23 years of age. Clay tells Sarah it’s been brought to his attention that she can’t see herself engaged and she instantly starts crying. Clay has to step away for a bit to think again. Girl, you’re only 23!!! Don’t hitch your wagon to this lump so soon! Live your life!!! Clay comes back and gives her the rose.

And that’s it until next week BBs! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 5

Shannon

Welcome back to the Shanae Show BBs!!! Oh you thought you were tuning in to the Bachelor? That’s before Clayton put on blinders and fell for Shanae! But before we get to that…

Serene 1-1

Clayton and Serene (who is SO TINY) go to an amusement park on a beach pier in Galveston. They have all the rides and games to themselves and appear to have a great time. At Fake Dinner, Serene tells Clay about how her cousin she was really close to passed away and that it really affected her. Clay gives Serene the rose.

Cocktail Party

Clay takes the winning team from last week’s Group Date aside and asks them what happened with Shanae. They tell him about her hurling expletives and hurling their trophy into a pond. He says that that behavior is unacceptable. Clay pulls Shanae aside and she actually tells the truth! She’s all “I said what I said, you heard me!” Clay makes her go back out to the ladies and apologize. So Shanae stands in front of the ladies and releases a flood of crocodile tears with a truly heartfelt apology. Yeah right. As soon as she’s back with Clayton there are no tears and once she’s talking one on one with the producers she says “Sorry NOT SORRY you HOS”!!! Keeping it Klassy!

A few of the ladies actually accept her apology but come on. It’s Shanae the she devil! She is faking it!! Shanae goes back and reports to Clay that she apologized and they make out. UGH. What kind of hold does she have over him?? Does he owe her money???

Rose Ceremony

Obviously all the girls are chomping at the bit for Shanae to go home, but she gets the last rose again!!! At this point I’m not even surprised! Shanae even tells the camera “My vagina is sweating”. She makes my skin crawl. Such a lady!!!

Going home: Sierra, Jill, and Lyndsey (who looks like she could be Britney Spears’ sister).

Next we are told we are taking it international! Where to, you ask?? Toronto!!! That’s just Canada! International! Bahahaha!!!

Gabby 1-1

Gabby and Clayton take a helicopter tour of Toronto, then walk around the city. Every. Single. Thing. this girl does… Clayton acts like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed! I mean, she’s cute and can act silly but he’s not dating Jim Carrey!!! Gabby gets the rose at Fake Dinner.

Group Date

The ladies are tasked with performing a roast in front of an audience. They are to roast each other and Clayton. They DO NOT hold back while roasting Shanae, who isn’t there. One girl compares Shanae with herpes! And one blasts that Hunter has IBS! Dude! Below the belt!!! Rachel gets the group date rose at the after party.

Shanae/ Genevieve 2-1

Shanae, Genevieve, and Clayton go to Niagra Falls for their date. Shanae does some trash talking to the camera about Gene, comparing her to a chihuahua!!! But as for the date, we’ll have to wait for next week!!!

Until then BBs, xoxo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 4

Shannon

More nonsense this week BBs! Week 4 begins with Clayton taking Shanae and Elizabeth aside to hash out their shrimp differences. Yes loves, ABC has subjected us to 2 solid weeks of what the ladies in the house are referring to as “Shrimpgate”. LORD HELP ME!!! As you can imagine, Eliz and Shanae just verbally assault each other while Clayton looks like he’d rather be anywhere else on Earth right now. He finally gets up and walks away and the ladies don’t miss a beat. They keep on harping on each other. Eliz rejoins the other ladies and Shanae follows, eating a plate of shrimp! Bahahaha!!! Clayton cancels the cocktail party and all the women blame Shanae, with good reason! Shanae gets the last rose and going home are Elizabeth, Melina, and Kira (who???)! HOW is Clayton so blind and dumb??


Jesse Palmer comes in the next morning to announce that the ladies are going on a world wide trip! Yay! To Houston!!! What??? The women try and look excited to be hopping a 3 hour flight to Texas instead of, well, anywhere else!


Rachel’s 1-1


Rachel (who’s wearing so much lip gloss I’m afraid she’s going to asphyxiate) and Clayton go horseback riding and “come upon” some random family’s barbeque. They crash the bbq and ask if they can stay and eat. They apparently spend the afternoon eating these poor people’s food and drinking their beer. It’s the first real food I’ve seen eaten on this show since 1887! Later they go to Fake Dinner and Rachel gets the rose.


Group Date


All the girls arrive to the Houston football stadium where there are lots of grills plugged into Hyundai cars. Odd product placement but ok. Everyone tailgates for a while until they are told they will be playing tackle football today. Not flag, not touch, but full on tackle to the ground football. There will be MUCH bloodshed today folks, because Shanae is a part of this group date and the other women are seething over her!


Winners of the game get to go to the after party with Clayton. Of course, Marlena the Olympian’s team wins. Sierra and Marlena basically ran all over those other poor girls. Guess who’s not on the winning team?? Shanae. Whomp whomp!


Afterparty


Sierra and Genevieve tell Clayton that Shanae is the cause of all the strife in the house when they have their separate time with him. Then, surprise! Shanae crashes the after party, saying “I deserve to be here.” NO YOU DO NOT!!! Clayton tells Shanae what the other girls have said and she comes back with “Yeah but they were plotting against me!” so Clayton puts Shanae up on a bar and they make out, as you do. WHY IS HE SO BLIND???? UGH.


After, Shanae goes out to the group of women and grabs their football trophy and hurls it into the bushes. She says “This isn’t the Bachelor, it’s the Shanae show!” And folks, we’ll have to deal with her for yet another week because that is the end of the episode!


Until next week, xoxo 🌹