Bachelor Week 2

We start this episode back at the theatre where Peter and Alabama Hannah are crying and talking it out backstage. Meanwhile, all the girls on this group date are still writing out their sex stories to tell onstage to a live audience, but they are getting anxious and keep asking where is Peter? Peter is in a dark room telling AH that “I never said no to you.” My heart! Why don’t they just run off together??? AH is curled up in his lap while they cry and look at each other for what feels like 12 years. Then FINALLY P says he can’t do this and he’s going back to the girls and goodbye and WHAT? That’s it?? So I guess that’s the end of the Alabama Hannah romance!

Peter gathers up the girls and cancels the rest of the date. Natasha and some of the others are pissssed and I’m just sitting here like WOMAN, you just lucked out! You don’t have to embarrass yourself in front of strangers and America! Later at the after party during Natasha’s alone time with P she lets him know how unhappy he is and I’m thinking this is pretty risky behavior for so early in the season! Mykenna and P dance a bit and kiss and all I hear is her saying likelikelike and I want to stab my eardrums to make it stop! And did she just refer to herself in the 3rd person?? Kill her now!!! Sydney gets the date rose and it must be for how she opened up about growing up biracial in the South and how that was hard and it’s the most genuine thing I’ve seen on this show in years.

Next up is the Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party~

Lexi has to remind P 3 times who she is and even I have to look up her name in my notes when she drops the clue that she’s the one who drove up in the vintage Corvette. This does not bode well for you Lexi!

Kelsey sets up a little vignette with a blanket, candles, and a bottle of Champagne she brought from the Champagne capital of the US – De Moines, Iowa!!! Plus she’s been saving it for a full year for a special occasion. I’m thinking that stuff has not aged well, but you do you Kels. Kelsey says this bottle “totally represents me” and goes to find P but he’s gone off with Mykenna. So now Kelsey is in tears and confronts Mykenna with “You’re disrespectful and you disrespected me.” Ok, but I think the bigger issue here is why is there maple syrup on the coffee table? I have questions ABC!!!

Madison and P are talking and he gives her a framed picture from their 1st date of them with his family. Seems like a pretty serious gift for someone after a first date, but that’s just me. On the other hand she’ll have something to throw across the room if he dumps her!

Meanwhile Kelsey is STILL waiting to share this champagne with P. But alas! P & Hannah Ann stumble upon Kelsey’s little set up and pop the champagne. It twas the pop heard round the mansion! Literally. Kelsey hears the pop and walks over to P & HA in tears and says “Excuse me” but then turns and runs away crying. P follows her to the bathroom but she won’t talk to him. So he goes back to HA & the champagne. Not two minutes later Kels comes upon them & starts cussing out HA right in front of Peter! Big mistake. Huge. P takes Kels to a sofa and all Kels can say between sobs is “I set that up. I set that up.” Kels then knocks over a different bottle of champagne! P picks it up and opens it. Kels drinks straight from the bottle and y’all….the champagne foams up and spews all over her heavily made up face!!! I had to pause the show so I could laugh and laugh!!!

Kelsey is swearing that HA knew that was Kelsey’s champagne and popped it anyway. And boy is Kelsey swearing! She’s getting bleeped left & right while she’s blessing out HA. HA is apologizing and trying to get a word in edgewise, but can’t because Sailor Kels won’t let her. Kels calls HA a fake bitch & a princess & generally just verbally tears her down. It’s brutal. Tammy tells the camera “I don’t wanna be involved in this champagne crisis anymore!!!” You & me both girl. You & me both.

Rose Ceremony~

Mykenna gets the first rose. HA says to the camera “I took a beating tonight”. But HA gets a rose. They cut to Kels saying “F&#$ that!” Ha!!! Wait, who’s the girl in the hideous pink and white striped sequin dress??? My eyes!!! Kelsey inexplicably gets the last rose. You can’t tell me that wasn’t producer driven right there my friends.

Going home are 3 women I feel like I’m just seeing for the first time: Courtney, Lauren, and Payton. WHO???

After they leave there’s the group champagne toast and P asks Kels to give a toast and y’all she flat out refuses! This girl is such a hot mess brat I can’t stand it!!! She says to the group “It’s better if I keep my mouth shut right now”. I can’t even with this girl.

The next day there’s a group date at Revolve, which is apparently a v popular clothing store. The group walks in and Carson Presley, Janice Dickinson (and her botched plastic surgeryfied face), and a lady from Revolve are there. The girls have to walk the catwalk in front of an audience in Revolve clothing. The winner of the fashion show gets EVERYTHING in the store!!!

Victoria F starts freaking out because she lacks confidence. She spends the whole day in tears. The girls have to model 2 outfits- 1 day and 1 night. HA hits the runway in a bridal gown for her day look and throws P the veil. When Natasha takes the runway, Carson Presley calls her a “really sexy Amish person” and I die laughing! Kels brings a bottle of champagne with her on the runway and I swear if I have to type the words Kelsey and champagne ever again Ima send Kels a bill for my carpal tunnel surgery! Anyway she hands the bottle to P. Talk about beating a dead horse! Victoria F, the self described meek and mild girl, comes out in a teddy and a trench coat, risking a nip slip for sure! On her way down the catwalk she stops and makes out with P for a while.

HA and Victoria F are in the top 2 but HA wins. This sends Vic F over the edge. Vic says she’s done and going home.

After Party~

Vic F is STILL pouting about HA winning. Get over yourself girl. No man wants to see you boohooing and being a bad sport! P is telling her she killed it and all Vic is giving back is pout it’s just so hard and pout sharing you is hard and pout something else about something being hard. OMG! come on lady! Pull yourself together!!! P keeps reassuring her and they make out.

P then brings champagne to Kelsey. Ugh. Meanwhile HA is, for some odd reason, pouting about last night and saying that Kels is bullying her. Can’t you just be happy you just won a whole new wardrobe??? Kels comes back to the group on a HIGH after chatting with P. When it’s HA’s turn she is sure to tell P that she was up all last night crying and “my spirit is crushed” and I’m being bullied by Kelsey.

P goes back to the group, gives Victoria F the rose, then pulls Kels aside to talk. P asks her about the bullying and Kels says “I don’t like HA and she knows it” but claims even though she did in fact call HA a fake bitch princess that she’s not a bully. Just a trash mouth. Kels then goes back to the group in tears while P is pacing outside contemplating what to do about the situation.

And my BBs, that’s where ABC leaves us. Now, I won’t be able to watch next week’s episode until the following week when I’ll recap both episodes that Tuesday. Stay classy my BBs!!! 🌹

Bachelor Season 24 Week 1

Bachelor BBs!!!! We are back!!! This time the Bachelor is 28 year old Delta pilot Peter Weber. Ok, so it has to be said. Yet ANOTHER white dude. Why ABC, could you not pick Mike Johnson??? Sigh. Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore our handsome pilot, but some diversity on this show would go a long way ABC!!!

Let’s get down to it. We have 3 hours (!!!) of content to discuss! Let’s start with the limo arrivals, shall we?

Alayah 24- beautiful dress. Gives Peter a letter from her grandma for them to read together later. Odd.

Sydney 24

Hannah Ann 23- a model. Declares upon entering the mansion “I’m in love!”

Sarah 24 another beautiful dress. So far the fashion choices are looking much better this season!

Lauren 26 Well. I may have spoken too soon. She’s wearing a sequined jumpsuit!!! I hope that girl’s thighs don’t touch because if they do we are talking serious chafe by the morning!

Victoria P 27 – does a happy dance with P

Mykenna 22 – fashion blogger.

Muarissa 23 – soooo cute. But her underboob situation is worrying me. I see a wardrobe malfunction in her future!

Kelsey 28

Eunice 23 – thinks being a flight attendant who arrives wearing wings will make her stand out.

Jade 26 -flight attendant

Megan 26 – flight attendant

Madison 23 -basketball & Daddy’s girl

Tammy 24

Shiann 27 -brings P a barf bag

Courtney 26 -rides in on a toy airplane

Kiarra 23 -arrives packed in a suitcase!!!

Lexi 26 -drives up in a vintage red Corvette

Deandra 23- walks up with a windmill on her back

Peyton 23

Jasmine 25

Kylie 26 -an Entertainment Sales Associate. Is that code for hooker? Brings P a strip of condoms!

Katrina 28 -says to P “You’re gonna fall in love with my hairless pussy…” and shows a pic of a hairless cat. TRASHY

Victoria F 25

Jenna 22 -brings an emotional support cow

Savannah 27 -blindfolds P then kisses him

Kelley 27 -met P a month prior in a hotel lobby. He remembers her.

Alexa 27 – so cute. Esthetician

Avonlea 27 -cattle rancher

and finally Natasha 31.

Then Hannah Brown (Alabama Hannah) arrives. She gives P back the wings he gave her on the first night they met.

This episode is FLYING by (no pun intended). Time for the cocktail party. Some thoughts: P sits down with Alayah and reads the sweet letter from Grandma.

I gotta tell ya, there are so many BOOBS on the screen tonight! Not a bra to be found for miles around that mansion!!! And the lash extension industry & boob tape sales must be booming!!! Madison says “LIKE” so much I want to slap her! She has a great butt.Hannah Ann (from here on known as HA because that’s a long name) and her dad painted P a picture of the Smoky Mountains since she’s from Tennessee. It’s beautiful until you get to the row of dancing vaginas across the bottom!!! P kisses her. First kiss of the night initiated by P.

Tammy cuffs P then searches him then makes him kiss her to get uncuffed.

Natasha is talking to P when Mykenna asks to steal P by throwing paper airplanes at them. Natasha says no! P says gives us a minute. Mykenna interrupts again with more planes. She’s clearly not trying to make friends. So Mykenna and P talk and kiss then Natasha comes back with a HUGE (like 4 feet long) paper airplane and pokes Mykenna with it. I toast their pettiness! Then Nat comes back AGAIN sipping tea saying “tick tock!” Hilarious! Dang, P is kissing SO many girls!

HA interrupts a girl with P. Mind you she’s already had time with him (remember the dancing vaginas picture?). Then she interrupts ANOTHER girl for her 3rd time with P when she says “There’s one thing Hannah Ann wants- a kiss”. I LOATHE it when people talk about themselves in the 3rd person!!!Shiann confronts AH about the interruption and AH shuts her down. So Shiann cries.

Dang but the vocal fry is STRONG with this group of women. It’s making my ears bleed!!!

More girls are starting to cry for being interrupted. HA gets first impression rose. Not surprised. I predict she will be top 10 with Victoria P & Madison.

And just like that it’s time for the 1st Rose Ceremony. I told ya, ABC has picked up the pace and I’m here for it!

Rose Ceremony~Victoria P gets the 1st rose. Tammy sounds just like Miley Cyrus and while I like her personality, I don’t know if I can hang with that voice all season.

Kelsey’s nose is sooo thin I’m legit concerned for her ability to breathe!!!

Going home- 8 girls! Katrina (thank the good Lord), Kylie, Maurissa (sad!), Avonlea, Eunice, Jade, Jenna, and Megan. There are many tears!

1st Group Date~

Lest we forget that Pilot Pete is a Pilot who flies airplanes, ABC has the 1st group date at an airplane hangar. 2 NO NONSENSE women come out and declare the girls are all going to Flight School. The 1st question is math and the girls are all panicking. The 3 brain cells they share are working hard to answer these questions.

Next up is spinning around in a gyroscope! Victoria P gets major motion sickness and talks about a traumatic spinning teacups ride from her childhood that still haunts her to this day! But she womans up and does the ride then promptly throws up. P brings her water and checks on her and get this- Victoria P says “I’ve never had someone care for me that way.” HOW SAD IS THAT?!?! Men are straight trash and just need to do better as a gender!!!

Then there’s an obstacle course. Kelley wins by cheating and gets to go flying with P. All the other girls gather for the after party at a hotel. The very same hotel where Kelley and P first met. Coincidence? I think not!!! Kelley comes to join the others and is met with crickets level silence and jealousy.

Later, Kelley interrupts Shiann’s time with P (ballsy) and that sets Shiann off crying again. Kelley gets the rose. Shocker.

1-1 Date with Madison~

Peter takes this complete stranger Madison to his parents’ house and VOW RENEWAL!!! P officiates and OF COURSE Madison catches the bouquet! Later at Fake Dinner Mad gets the rose and some kisses. Then they dance to some band I’ve never heard of but they know all the words. P’s family comes and joins them for dancing.

2nd Group Date~

The group and P arrive at a theatre and P tells the girls a “good friend” is planning this date. They walk in and Alabama Hannah is there standing on stand next to a giant windmill. I just can’t with all the windmill references!!! Get over it! They had sex!!! Move on!!!

AH describes her love story with Peter to the group then tells the girls they have to share a sex story in front of a live audience. The girls get a pad and pen and get to work on their stories. Meanwhile, AH is crying her makeup off backstage where P finds her. Like BIG crying. Obviously they still have major feelings for each other. AH admits she thinks about why did she send P home every day. What I want to know is where does AH get her rinky dink cheap ass jewelry? That flower ring?? Come on ABC, give a girl a good stylist! P asks AH would she like to join the house and compete for his love?? AH says maybe! The episode ends with them both confused and in tears.

So what happens next? Do P & AH run away together? Do we get a new Bachelor next week? Who knows?!? We’ll find out next week!!! Until then BBs! xo 🌹