Bachelor in Paradise- Week 2 Night 1

Week 2 Night 1- We start off with the Rose Ceremony we should have seen last week. Here’s how it goes down: Derek gives his rose to Demi, Clay to Nicole, Wills to Katie, Kevin to Sydney, JPJ to Onyeka, Cam to Caelynn, Dylan to Hannah G, Blake to Tayshia (although he likes HG and Tayshia is OVER him), Chris to Kristina (which totally blindsides Annaliese!)
Jane, Bibiana, and Annaliese are going home. Can’t say I’m gonna miss any of them! Jane I’m not even sure was ever on a Bachelor show, and Bibi and Annaliese cry too much!
So now the women have the power! Jordan arrives and immediately pulls HG. WHAT are people seeing in her?? My desk lamp has more personality!!! Jordan hears all about Blake’s shenanigans and says “He’s putting his spoon in all of the pudding!!!” Bahahaha!!! Jordan asks HG on his date and she says yes, but then thinks about it and turns him down. Meanwhile Jordan pulls Blake aside and basically tells him to get his sh!t together man!
Jordan still needs a date so he asks Nicole, who says yes. They go meet Jorge(!!!) in the jungle and go ziplining then have a chat. I don’t see a love connection.
Back to the resort and Cam is reading Caelynn this love letter he wrote her and it is SO cringeworthy! Her face shows her utter lack of interest!!! But Cam has tunnel vision and is absolutely sure he’s going to propose to Cae at the end of Paradise. Good luck with that!
Mike arrives! Yay!!! Love Mike but I have mixed feelings. I want him to be the Bachelor! I don’t want him catching some disease in Paradise! So Cam is NOT happy Mike is here and gets worried. ALL the girls are swooning over Mike! Mike asks Caelynn on his date and Onyeka (who’s crushing on Mike) and Cam are upset. Cam’s crying even!
Jordan and Nicole get back from their date and she goes right back to Clay (who’s been pretty worried). Meanwhile Mike and Caelynn’s date is going really well. They have Fake Dinner then dance and make out. He’s WAY into her and I can’t figure out why! #disappointed
Back at the resort, Wills is trying to romance Katie. He gives this speech about how great she is and she short circuits and freaks out! It was weird to watch. She turns Wills down then goes to talk to Chris who says he’s totally into Katie and they make out. WHAT?? What happened to Kristina? Things move fast in Paradise apparently!
Blake pulls HG aside to talk. He tells her he’s got himself all figured out and he’s going to pursue her. Then he asks her to dance on the beach (in full sight of Dylan and everyone). Apparently this dance move is Blake’s signature move according to Kristina and Tayshia! Lame Blake! Blake and HG start making out and Dylan’s had enough. He walks out to try and talk to HG. HG stands there like a mute with her big eyes and is just frozen. Blake’s doing all the talking for her. Eventually Dylan gets frustrated and goes back to the bar. The episode ends with Blake and HG making out. Ugh.
Till tomorrow BBs! xo🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 1 Night 2

Week 1 Night 2. WOW. SO much drama and it’s just the 2nd episode of the season! And it’s messy! Ok so we begin with Caelynn STILL telling everyone about the Blake drama while Blake and Kristina are out on a date. B & K are riding in a dune buggy through mud and water and it looks like they are having a great time….until….they are talking afterwards and it is NOT going well. Kristina is all hurt about him having sex with her & Caelynn within 24 hours. Blake says he didn’t do anything wrong. UGH.
Blake and Kristina get back from their date and Caelynn immediately pulls Blake aside and lays into him for ruining her experience in Paradise. Blake is super apologetic but Cae is not having it and she’s not letting up with her teary tirade. She finally walks away crying.
Meanwhile Kristina is giving Tayshia an ear full about Blake and his transgressions. Basically at this point every woman on the beach hates Blake.
Switching gears….Wills pulls Hannah G aside and they kiss! But she’s been spending all her time with Dylan! Dylan walks up right after the kiss and he and HG go off to talk. HG tells D about Wills and his kiss.
Clay- Bibi is really into him. So is Cryer Nicole. Clay gets the date card and asks Nicole. But before they can leave Annaliese confronts Clay about her friend and Clay’s ex- Angela. Clay and Angela dated for 8 months but broke up 3 months ago so in my opinion, back off Annaliese! Annaliese is CRYING about it. SO lame!!! Clay and Nicole go to a fun carnival and make out.
The next day Blake is still crying about Kristina and Caelynn. Like, literally crying. And after I read his texts with Caelynn I feel a little sorry for him. I mean, not too much because it is GROSS to be hopping from woman to woman in such a short amount of time but Caelynn isn’t coming out looking so squeaky clean here! In the texts Cae is coming on to Blake really strongly. She flat out asks for sex and he turns her down. Repeatedly. Make of that what you will!
Cocktail Party- Caelynn is STILL talking about the Blake drama and in my opinion, using it for pity. Then she goes and makes out with CAM!!! CAM!!!! I am ill. Speaking of being ill- JPJ is making out with Onyeka! She irks me. Remember the guys have the roses this week so the women are practically desperate for roses and are throwing themselves at all the guys. Jane gives JPJ a taco and he eats it then spends the rest of the night vomiting into the ocean and on the beach! GAG!!! Are there no trash cans or buckets in paradise???
Annaliese and Chris B are making out but Kristina has her eye on Chris. Bibi is crying because she hasn’t made a connection with anyone. And that means no rose. HG tells Wills she’s into Dylan. Yay!!! But then Blake steals HG away to talk and they end up making out! WHAT??? WHY do all these guys like her?? I mean, she’s cute but has the personality of a box of hair!!! And then of course HG runs and tells Dylan Chris kissed her! WHY torture the man??? And the episode ends with HG trying to decide between Dylan and Chris and me being so over her.
Until next week BBs! xo 🌹

Bachelor in Paradise Week 1 Night 1

Week 1 Night 1- First ABC starts us off with some intros and it’s a good thing because I have no idea who some of these people are! And I don’t miss an episode! Like Katie, and Jane! WHO??? So let’s get to the beach, shall we?
Hannah G is the first to arrive and I’m already sick of her as she runs around acting like she’s never seen a beach before. For those who may not remember, she was on Colton’s season and has the personality of a lukewarm tortilla. Blake arrives, then Katie, Dylan, Sydney (who??), Derek, Tayshia and her ginormous boobs, then Kevin (who?), Wills (yay!), Demi (double yay!). Onyeka arrives blaring an air horn and if you didn’t know, that’s the quickest way to get me to want you bounced off the show. Cam (VOMIT) shows up wearing a leopard print shirt and I just can’t. John Paul Jones comes tearing down the stairs in a tiny little speedo. Chris B is back for some reason. He gives me the creeps. Jane, Annaliese, Bibiana, Nicole the cryer, and Clay are next to arrive. Wells is back as bartender (LOVE him!). Then Caelynn gets there and Blake freaks out. I’ll explain later.
Men hand out the roses this week. Blake gets the first date card. Everyone thinks he’s going to ask Hannah G because they’ve been talking and flirting. Even HG gets all bright eyed when he announces his pick. BUT….he chooses Tayshia. Their date (while in a pretty setting) is boring. They just go to fake dinner amongst all these millions of fairy lights and then make out in a hot tub.
Meanwhile back at the resort, Demi and Derek are making out in the hot tub while Dylan is going on and on about how great HG is. I just don’t see it! But Dylan and HG make out in the treehouse and he’s about to burst with excitement! I guess HG is over Blake already!
It’s the next day and Caelynn is spilling the Blake tea to Onyeka. And here it is: Blake and Cae “dated” for a couple months. Then at a music festival called StageCoach they had sex. But the night before he had sex with Kristina the Russian from Kentucky. That’s just gross. Not Kristina, but having sex with 2 different women in a 24 hour period. THEN Blake told Caelynn to lie to everyone in Paradise about their relationship and keep it a secret. This does not sit well with Cae. NO woman wants to be your dirty little secret Blake! Gah! Now, Caelynn has already told Wells all about the Blake drama and Wells said she needed to share the info. So then Cae goes and tells Sydney. And who arrives next? Kristina. And Blake looks like he’d rather have a colonoscopy on that beach than deal with these 2 women right now. Kristina has a date card and asks Blake to go. She then tells the camera she’s about to make Blake her bitch! Can’t wait to see how all this shakes out tomorrow BBs!!! xo 🌹